I found the writing style to be quite formal and a bit detached. I don't feel we got to know either Lily or her daughter, Pauline, very well. Particularly the reasons why Pauline is so driven to succeed and to be so independent, never asking for help. We know she goes to see a psychologist, but it would have been nice to know her breakthrough moment - things get started, but then it's 2 years later and she's happier and we never really learn the therapy process. The jump forward at the end feels like the author ran out of time and wanted to just sum everything up, rather than flesh it all out.

A light read, that's not particularly affecting or memorable.

This book was an alright read for me as the main character was very hard to like. Even though the subject was a controversial subject I felt that this story just scratched the surface and not really in a good way.

ABOUT 'LILY HARFORD'S LAST REQUEST': Knowing she is sliding into dementia, Lily Harford is ready to give up her life ... but can she persuade someone to commit the illegal act of taking it from her?

"A thought-provoking, vivid and moving exploration of how we value a life well lived, and the decisions we make when that life is coming to an end."

The book celebrates Lilys 87 years of life and explores her choice to end that life before her demetia gets too far advances. A very hard and thought prvoking read with a ubject that is handled sensitively through the mutiple POV - the book club questions were an added bonus and I can see how this wuld be a great if not controversial choice!

What a fabulous book by Aussie author Joanna Buckley.

Adored the storyline and characters and I will take no hesitation in recommending this book.

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this story in my pile! Definitely move it up your list!

A difficult and timely issue dealt with delicately. We’ll written and told from various viewpoints. I found myself wanting to read ‘just a little bit more’ each time I had to put it down. A thoroughly enjoyable read. 4 1/2 stars.

Thanks to Netgalley for a copy of this book for an honest review.

An interesting read about ageing parents, dementia and families. Told from 3 different perspectives, Lily, her daughter Pauline and personal care assistant Donna, it is a sweetly told story that moves gently through Lily's life, telling unexpected secrets along the way.

Loved reading an Australian author writing about an Australian town. It really makes your rethink your values and makes your reflect and wonder. It made me laugh, cry and relate. Can't wait to see what Joanna writes next.

Lily Harford’s Last Request is a thoughtful, emotional debut novel from Joanna Buckley.

Shifting between timelines, though set primarily in the present, this story unfolds from three points of view, octogenarian Lily confronted with a diagnosis of dementia; her daughter Pauline, a stressed wife and school principal; and single woman Donna, a nursing assistant.

Through flashbacks, Lily is shown as an accomplished, strong woman who was widowed early, raised an illegitimate daughter alone, and founded a successful accountancy firm, through, and beyond, an era that frowned on such actions. In the present, Lily is devastated by a diagnosis that forces her to move from her beloved home into a nursing care facility and, frightened by the inevitable erosion of her dignity, wants to secure help to end her life on her terms. To be honest I expected Lily to have a more active role in the story, but her character is quite passive.

Usually capable and confident, as her beloved mother’s well-being declines, so too do Pauline’s emotional reserves. She’s horrified by Lily’s wish to die, and her feelings of guilt, fear and grief affects both her personal relationships and her patience with the demands of her career. Reluctant to acknowledge these stresses, Pauline struggles to hold herself together, and I sympathised with her distress.

After enduring a series of toxic relationships, Donna has discovered that she loves working in aged care, and her job provides her with some sorely lacking confidence. Though she empathises with Lily’s desire to end her life, she’s not willing to jeopardise her job, or her freedom, by agreeing to help her.

From each perspective, Buckley insightfully explores many serious life challenges such as identity, ageing, end of life decisions, mental health, loss, and family relationships. It’s an emotional journey for the characters, which Buckley presents thoughtfully and with compassion. I thought all three women came across as realistic, however I did wonder as to why such an independent woman as Lily didn’t make her own preparations to end her life (eg stockpile pills) rather than ask others to assume the risk.

There is some lovely writing in Lily Harford’s Last Request, but it’s a little heavy on the exposition, and the dialogue is sometimes clunky. I also found the pace to be a little uneven. I appreciated the epilogue, and the gentle twist.

Lily Harford’s Last Request is a thought provoking and engaging read that explores a controversial subject with sensitivity.

Beautiful, emotional, character driven story. Every so often, one comes by that really sticks with you. Lily Harford's Last Request is one of those books!

Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

Lily Harford's Last Request is a beautifully written story dealing with the controversial question of assisted dying.
Lily is in her 80s. She has been a successful businesswoman and single mother. She was once full of vitality and loving life. She had a beautiful home surrounded by memories. As her dementia progresses, we see snippets of her past life as a young and vibrant young woman.
Now her body is racked with arthritis and her memory and faculties are diminishing.
Reluctantly, her daughter Pauline feels it is time for Lily to move to assisted care at Blue Vista.
As her dementia gets worse Lily wants to die on her own terms before
She asks Donna to help her end her life before dementia gets worse and she no longer recognises her loved ones or at least partly care for herself. Donna feels for Lily and understands the reasons for the request but explains, apart from it being illegal, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Lily then makes the same request from Pauline who also explains she couldn’t help.
We know from the beginning of the book someone does assist Lily but who was it?
Throughout the story Lily reflects on her past life, her short time with a loving husband and gives us insight into the younger and very capable Lily.
There are four other key characters in the story – Pauline (Lily’s daughter), Sam (Pauline’s husband), Donna (one of Lily’s carers) and Frank who also lives at Blue Vista.
Pauline adores and admires her mother but while she thinks she is doing the right thing for her mother; feels she is abandoning her. Pauline has a responsible job as headmistress. Add this to being a wife, mother and grandmother she is feeling the stress and pressure.
Sam loves his wife, is a supportive husband and adores his mother-in-law. He is a wonderful character and does everything he can for Lily.
Donna is one of the care givers at Blue Vista who has a close bond with Lily. She loves her job and is a very caring person but because of her broken marriage and childhood experiences lacks confidence in her personal life. Her character is well developed and likeable.
Frank is a resident of Blue Vista who is also fond of Lily. He doesn’t feature a great deal in the book but plays a key part in the twist at the end.
Joanna Buckley has written her story with great sensitivity from the viewpoints of Lily Pauline and Donna. All the characters seem real and easy to relate to.
At 72 I can relate to all three women – Lily with my advancing years and wondering what the future holds; Pauline as a daughter having to deal with my mother’s dementia as well as a mother and grandmother; and Donna’s lack of confidence in my working life. All characters are real, believable, and likeable.

‘… sometimes I close my eyes and say something, just to allow myself the momentary fantasy that it’s a youthful me uttering the words. I know that sounds stupid and foolish but in lots of ways, inside, I don’t feel all that different to when I was young.’

Lily Harford's Last Request was never going to be an easy read but I was unprepared for just how beautifully Joanna captures this contemporary issue of assisted dying. With exceptional writing offering three viewpoints that comprehensively explore the struggles and complexity of this poignant and thought provoking topic. Taking place over a period of eighteen months, Joanna gives her readers three narratives with an inclusion of flashbacks from Lily’s past also embedded in the tale. The final epilogue over some six years later brings it neatly to conclusion.

‘In other cultures the elderly are revered, kept close to the family fold, their wisdom actively sought, their presence valued and appreciated. I don’t want outsiders to handle the burden of my decline, where I’m shunted off to an artificial world, a final whistle-stop where people don’t so much live as wait to die.’

Providing three narratives allows Joanna to provide multiple perspectives that provide a holistic tale with at least one sure to speak to her readers. Firstly, there is Lily the mother who is aware of her ageing and mental deterioration. Some see her wish as cowardice, others more decidedly courageous. Secondly, her daughter Pauline who finds herself not only struggling in adjusting to her mother’s condition but at a stage in her life where she is fighting her own demons. Finally, there is the carer, Donna, who through her interactions with Lily comes face to face with life challenges that have continued to plague her.

‘She was sure her husband simply saw fatigue and disgruntlement, when what she was experiencing was a mental frailty she’d never known - and couldn’t reconcile within herself.’

All three women combine to produce a deeply emotional read that resonated with me on multiple levels. Indeed, it is confronting in its resonance as I could identify with something from each of their individual stories. The fear of losing one’s mind and memories deteriorating provides a physical and emotional upheaval entering into the frailties that age brings and its impact on those nearest and dearest.

‘The reality is there’s been a role reversal: in growing old I have, in all practical matters, become the child and they the parents.’

Joanna’s writing on both the overarching theme and the three distinct narratives is done with such compassion and the utmost sensitivity. Relationships, decisions, resolutions will have readers considering what their own actions would be. The prologue and ending adds that mysterious dimension that engages readers on another level regarding the final outcome.

‘I’m having a good day. I’m focused. Unlike other times when I almost scream at the frustration of not being able to draw forward a name or idea or object from the black depths of my memory, to bring it somewhere in the light where I can take hold of it and speak it and swish it around in my mind like I would a pleasing taste in my mouth. That luxury, of not ever having to give a second thought to the instant and easy accessibility of language, has gone.’

I highly recommend Lily Harford's Last Request in both its exploration and celebration of a life, love and ageing. Wherever you are on your own life journey - grandmother/father, mother/father, daughter/son - this book is sure to touch your heart with its careful look at how choices are never simple and very rarely easy.

‘I’ve possessed a sharp mind all my life. It’s been the cornerstone of my success and my whole self-image. Without it, what am I?’











This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.

Lily Harford's last request is a big one...help me to die. And this is how the book starts, with Lily's death.

From the start, we go all the way back to the beginning, exploring Lily's life until she finally ends up in a nursing home.
Three strong women, play a part in this book, Lily, her daughter Pauline, and the carer from the nursing home, Donna, whose stories are told in alternate chapters, but come together to form the story of Lily's last months.

The stories of the different characters are woven together beautifully. While Lily may be at the end of her life, a life well lived, Pauline and Donna look back on their own lives, and look toward the future, learning from Lily that you are in charge of your life...it is what you choose to make of it, so make it a good one.

Throughout the book, the reader is always aware that one of these characters helped Lily to die...but it's (as you can probably guess) not until the end of the book that find out who.

Lily Harford lives in Finn Bay, she grew up in the small seaside town in Queensland and she’s in her mid-eighties. She has had a full active life, running her own accounting business and with the support of her parents, she raised her daughter Pauline. At a time when very few women went to university, had a career and were single mothers.

Lily noticed she’s starting to forget things, at first she puts it down to getting older, it gets worse and she’s diagnosed with Dementia. Pauline’s wants her mother to be safe, she finds a lovely nursing home in Finn Bay, convinces Lily to sell her house and move into room eighteen. Both Lily and Pauline underestimate the impact this will have on their lives, Pauline feels terribly guilty and Lily feels trapped in a body that’s slowly failing her.

Mother and daughter have always been very close, both are high achievers and have similar personalities. Pauline’s struggling with a heavy work load, she’s a school principal, a wife to Sam, mother to Rachel and has two grandchildren. With her beloved mother fading fast, her rock, Pauline is having trouble coping and she knows it's only going to get worse.

The staff at Blue Vista are lovely, one carer in particular is kind, thoughtful and Lily becomes close to her. Donna’s struggled in her personal life, her family put her down, her marriage failed, she likes working in aged care and Lily thinks she would make a wonderful nurse. Lily Harford’s Last Request is about Lily facing her own mortality, she would like to make the choice to end her life and before she gets any worse. She asks both Donna and Pauline to help her, they point out to her that it’s illegal and they can’t do it.

The narrative is about aging, friendship, courage, dignity, and the worry of having older parents and how much you fear losing them. I received a copy of this book kindly from NetGalley and Harlequin Australia, in exchange for on honest review, it’s a very emotional story, Joanna Buckley writes with feeling, sensitivity, tact, and five stars from me.

EXCERPT: 'You won't need it.'

'Oh.'

So that's that then, is it? Each piece, large and small. Pass, fail,this is worthy of transporting, that doesn't make the grade, space for this, no requirement for that. My coveted Wedgwood serving platter, twin silver candlesticks (a wedding gift from Pa and Ma that they couldn't afford), my mother's pale blue napkin rings, two handtowels embroidered with cream ribbon, red high-heeled shoes now too narrow to accommodate the bunions on my feet, silk scarves in colours of the sea, boxes of cut crystal wine glasses, the Victorian oak dining table that has eavesdropped on many a family conversation. My life is being offered up, judged, valued and dispensed.

I tighten my jaw like it's the weir stopping a brewing fury from escaping. I sit, as straight backed as I can, willing my emotions to follow suit as the animated discussion and pointing and measuring and nodding and stickering happens around me. I'm expecting a rage to rip me apart any minute. I try to tell myself the move will be for the best, that they have my interests at heart. But all I want to do is bellow: 'Put everything back and get out of my house! I've changed my bloody mind - you can take the 'FOR SALE' sign down and stick it where the sun don't shine!'

ABOUT 'LILY HARFORD'S LAST REQUEST': Knowing she is sliding into dementia, Lily Harford is ready to give up her life ... but can she persuade someone to commit the illegal act of taking it from her?

Lily has lived a joyful, independent life in a seaside town in Queensland, running her own business and raising a daughter as a single mother at a time when few women did so. Now health and circumstance have pushed her into a nursing home, and her memory is failing, although events of the past remain fresh. Like pulling back the layers of a Russian doll, Lily recalls the former selves - mother, professional woman, lover, daughter - who still exist inside her.

Lily's daughter, Pauline, has been pushed to her limits by her demanding job, as well as the needs of her mother, husband, daughter and grandchildren. And now her mother is begging to die. Nurse aide Donna, still recovering from a dysfunctional childhood and the demise of her marriage, finds comfort in Lily's kindness and down to earth wisdom. As Lily fades, she asks Donna, too, to help her end her life.

MY THOUGHTS: I wanted to love Lily Harford's Last Request but, while I mostly liked it, I didn't love it. I found the characters hard to empathize with, hard to relate to, even Lily, whom I had expected to adore. The only character who I thought was really well portrayed was Donna, the very caring Nursing Assistant in the care home. I liked the way we saw into both her personal and professional lives and are made aware of how often her very important role is belittled and disrespected by others.

Pauline, Lily's HeadTeacher daughter, overpowered Lily's story which I thought was a shame. Although I could understand the author's intent in demonstrating the effects Lily's declining health has on her, she didn't come across well. I thought she was controlling and manipulative.

Told from the viewpoints of Lily, Pauline and Donna, the story lost impetus with the inclusion of flashbacks to the characters earlier lives. There needs to be a point to flashbacks - the revelation of an important piece of information, or something relevant to the formation of the person's character - but mostly these were just fillers and made the story feel disjointed.

I would have enjoyed Lily Harford's Last Request more had it focused more on Lily and less on Pauline. The 'surprise' revelation at the end would have been better built up to, rather than just dumped in there. I think the conversations between Lily and 'Frank' would have made for interesting reading - a lot more interesting than Pauline's constant introspection.

If you are looking for an uplifting read, this isn't it. But if you are interested in or concerned about the concept of assisted dying, there is definitely food for thought here.

Lily Harford's Last Request is a debut novel, and I applaud the author in her intent, but would like to encourage her not to overcomplicate the plot. Keep it simple and let it flow.

PS: I don't see why Lily couldn't have taken her beautiful silk scarves with her!

⭐⭐⭐


#LilyHarfordsLastRequest #NetGalley

I: @joannabuckleyauthor @harlequinaus

T: @HarlequinAUS

#australianfiction #contemporaryfiction #deathanddying #familydrama #mentalhealth #sliceoflife

THE AUTHOR: Joanna Buckley is an author based in Melbourne. She has a background in creating short stories, poetry, social media content and educational materials, and has also worked as a copywriter and editor. Joanna is a mother of three and a part-time careers counsellor.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Harlequin Australia, HQ, for providing a digital ARC of Lily Harford's Last Request by Joanna Buckley for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review is also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and my webpage

Lily Harford wants to die on her terms. She has had to sell her family home and move into an aged care facility, she also has the beginning’s of dementia.
Lily watched her own father suffer from dementia and knows that it is a cruel way to die. That is why she asks a friend to help her die.

This is a beautifully written book that explores what it’s like to grow old and not be able to do the things you once could.
Lily is a delightful character with lots of life experience. It is so sad to see her lose her independence and slowly lose her memory. I loved the chapters that went back to when Lily was a girl and then a young women.

I wasn’t overly keen on Lily’s daughter, Pauline, she came across as uncaring. I get she had other things going on in her life but it was like she didn’t have time to deal with her Mum.

This was a new to me author and I look forward to reading more by this author.

This is a really emotional story, beautifully told, it takes in the life of Lily Harford, as she is getting older and wanting to decide when she leaves this world can she find someone who will have the courage to help her, maybe her daughter Pauline or nurse assistant Donna, this is a story that is sure to keep the reader turning the pages.

Lily has lived a full life in the small coastal town of Finn Bay on the Pacific Ocean, she has run her own account firm and been a single mum to her daughter Pauline, but as she is aging her daughter is worried about her being in the house on her own and even though it takes a bit Lily agrees to move into the local assisted care home. Things get more worrying for Lily when she is diagnosed with vascular dementia, Lily remembers seeing her father die this way and that is not what she wants for herself.

Pauline is beside herself with worry over her mother and her stressful life as a school principal does not help with her worries, her husband Sam is there for her as is her daughter Rachel but Pauline seems to be falling apart at the moment and her mother is asking to die. There is Donna as well a loving caring nurse’s assistant who is very fond of Lily, Donna has problems of her own but worries so much about Lily and her wish to die, and will there be someone who will help Lily?

This story digs deep into the way that we help our aging families, it is thought provoking and emotional and moving as we get to Lily more and what has been in her past and we see the love that Pauline has for her mother and all of the guilt and emotions that come with putting the person you love into aged care. The characters are wonderfully written and easy to get to know and I feel their pain as they struggle with Lily’s wish. This is a story that had me feeling very emotional throughout with thoughts of my parents, it is a story that I do highly recommend.

My thanks to Harlequin AU and Netgalley for my digital copy to read and review.

<b>Lily Harfords Last Request</b> is an excellent debut novel by author Joanna Buckley.   Included at the end was a statement which I believe sums it up marvellously.
<i><b> Lily Harford’s Last Request is scaffolded on the heavy topic of assisted dying and there are many moments of angst and sadness in the main characters’ lives.</b></i>

Sometimes there's nothing better than finding a book that resonates with you.    Other times the content can be too close to home and the timing not quite right making the reading difficult.  Sadly, such was the case for me with this one.   I don't wish to detract from the book, but all too often I found myself nodding my head in acknowledgment of something far too familiar.   The deterioration of the mind and memory that comes with dementia was spot on, and so too were the descriptions of the indignities and physical frailties associated with the decline.      

Lily Harford, an elderly woman has been diagnosed with dementia and she wants desperately to end her life on her own terms, just as she has always lived her life.     She has always had a sharp mind and has been an independent woman.    She was a single mum and a successful business woman in an era when this was not the norm.    Now she fears the disease and what it will do to her mind, her memories, how it will change her personality and lead to the loss of her independence. Extremely legitimate concerns from what I've observed.

I had tried to read this when the novel was due to be published but needed to put it aside as a family member of my own went into palliatve care and died.     Her name, her disease, her decline had exactly replicated what the character Lily had feared...and then some.   The writing was a bit too close for comfort and took me through some very hard territory.   It wasn't only the descriptions of the dementia.   Moving an elderly person out of their own home and into an assisted living facility is not remotely an easy thing to do - even when it's for their own well being - and feelings of guilt and sadness rose to the surface. 

Watching the deterioration of a loved one, seeing the progression of the disease and corresponding decline is not easy as Lily Harfords beloved daughter Pauline was to learn, and as our family was simultaneously experiencing.

Donna, the aged care assistant who befriended Lily, had a thankless job.    Family and friends did not respect the good work she did nor the way she cared for the residents, and she was between a rock and a hard place being unable to assist in the only way that really matered to Lily.  

From the prologue we knew Lily got her wish but we didnt know who her saviour had been.  The remainder of the book allowed us to get to know Lily via flashbacks to various times in her life, and to try to piece together who might have come to her aid.   It was only in the denouement that it all came together.

I only wish I'd encountered this book at a different time.   It was well written, had good characters and a moving story but was way too hard to read when I did.

My thanks to the author, HQ Fiction and Netgalley for the opportunity of reading this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book is a difficult read & therefore a difficult review! I found I didn't warm to some of the main characters, particularly Pauline. I also struggled with some of the dialogue which I found quite stilted as it moved from Lily in first person to the other characters. It was a thought provoking read & opens many questions around mortality, life choices, regrets, morals & love.

Thanks @netgalley & @harlequinaus for the ARC

Lily Harford is 87, and slowly falling into dementia. Having watched family members lose the battle with this disease she looks forward to the end with terror, asking those who love her for help before she loses herself. Woven through Lily's later years are her memories, gradually reeling further and further back to her girlhood, through her important milestones. And interspersed through the memories are the stories of Pauline, Lily's daughter (overachieving, sandwiched between looking after her mother and her own children and grandchildren, and dealing with her own mental health issues) and Donna, Lily's carer (single, lacking in confidence, devoted to her charge).

This is a poignant, thoughtful book about the quality of a life well lived, the lives we touch, and what we would do for the ones we love.

Beautifully written, this gives insight into the lives of carers. Having watched my own mother sandwiched between caring for my elderly grandmother and spending time with me and my own children, this book gave me a greater insight into what she has gone through, and I found myself thinking of my own family as I read.

A stunning novel of love, empathy, courage and connection.

~Many thanks to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review~

Lily Harford’s Last Request by Australian author Joanna Buckley is a heart felt emotional journey of growing old with dignity, facing the realities of dementia and the deeply felt stress of a family who love you and want what is best for you.
The characters are superbly developed. Lily Harford is a wonderful depiction of a strong women who wants to face old age and ailments with as much dignity as she possibly can. Her daughter Pauline is also a strong women who at times struggles to cope with her mum and her husband, Sam, which whom she often feels disappointed. Both Pauline and Sam struggle with Lily’s ageing and her diagnosis with dementia and make the difficult decision to convince Lily to move into assisted care; it is here where Donna appears. Donna works in the Aged Care Facility and befriends most of the people there but develops a special relationship with Lily. As the title suggests Lily is looking for someone to help her die with dignity before she can’t remember who she is and losing control of herself.
Some incredible issues here which are sensitively portrayed and explored.

Confronting story but highly recommended.

Thank you to Netgalley and Harlequin Australia for a copy to read and review.