A compassionate caring depiction of growing old and wanting to be in control of yourself as your later years arrive.
Lily doesn’t want to be a burden, dementia means that she no longer wants to live, who will help her carry out her last request? Lily has enjoyed her life, her daughter Pauline struggles with placing her mother into a retirement home. Lily’s nurse Donna enjoys their friendship, she also doesn’t want to watch Lily’s health deteriorate.
This book asks the questions that a lot of people face when an older loved one is nearing the end of their life, family and friends are often too emotionally invested to clearly make important decisions.
A thought provoking book that’s sure to provide plenty of discussion!
Thanks so much to the publisher, NetGalley and the author, for allowing me to read this topical book.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Lily Harford and her daughter had always been close as Pauline grew from toddler to teenager and young woman. Lily was a single mother and their support of one another shone through as Pauline married Sam, had Rachel who then married and had two children. Now Lily was in her eighties, her body and mind were slowing down. She knew the big house she’d always lived in was too big for her, but Lily wasn’t prepared to go to a nursing home. The battle that Pauline and Sam went through to see her settled in was heart wrenching for them. Pauline was sick with worry for her mum, devastated at the thought of her beloved mother not being there anymore…

Donna was an aide at the home Lily was at, and the two of them forged a close friendship. But Donna drew the line at helping Lily die. Lily didn’t want to get to the stage of not knowing anyone and her diagnosis of vascular dementia made her see it was coming, and faster than she wanted it to. She wanted to die while she was still able to make the decision herself, but would anyone help her on her way? Lily’s life had been a full one, and one she’d always been in control of – she couldn’t bear the thought of losing control.

Lily Harford’s Last Request by Aussie author Joanna Buckley is an outstanding look at the heartache of growing old and frail, of having a wonderful life and gradually losing everything that is familiar. Pauline is a character who was stressed to the max with her job as principal at the local school keeping her busy, her family life, and the anxiety over her beloved mother. Sam was a great support and I felt for him as well. But Lily’s character was remarkable! Set in Queensland in a beachside suburb, the ocean played a large part of the novel as well. I really enjoyed Lily Harford’s Last Request and have no hesitation in recommending it highly.

With thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my digital ARC to read in exchange for an honest review.

This is a wonderful book. Heartfelt and poignant, it will stay in your mind long after you finish reading it.

Lily Harford’s last request is a debut novel by Melbourne writer Joanna Buckley. Lily has always lead a rather full life with raising a daughter on her own and setting up her very successful book keeping business. It is with a lot of regret that her daughter Pauline makes the joint decision to move Lily (who is now in her 80’s) into care as she is showing early signs of dementia. Lily accepts that this must happen and strikes up a friendship with Donna who is one of the PCA’s that work at the facility. The story is told from 3 POV’s – Lily, Donna and Pauline and is a very sensitive story of a woman who is in decline and does not wish to go the way her father did and asks both women to end her life for her at the appropriate time. Both Pauline & Donna are horrified at this request.
Having been through a similar situation (not asking to end one’s life!) with my own mother, I could relate to this story so well, and how sad it is for our bodies to let us down at the end of our life. Lily’s daughter Pauline has her own demanding job plus a daughter and grand children of her own and feels like she is juggling too many balls that may all come crashing down, I know how she felt.
This book was very well written for a debut novel and did not hide any of the good, bad and ugly of ageing. I commend the author for tackling such a sensitive subject which she did very well. Please do not be put off by the subject matter as it was an excellent read!
Thank you to Harlequin Australia for a copy of this book for review purposes.

Joanna Buckley's debut novel addresses end of life issues that are both timely and provocative. Her characters are genuine and engaging while grappling with one of the hardest questions we face as a society - 'How do we express our love and what choices do we in fact have, when facing a terminal diagnosis?

A beautiful story of love and family. A mum who has given her all to give her daughter the best in life and love
The one thing her daughter can't give her is dying with dignity, Lily wants this as her last wish
A friend steps up from left field
Great story a real picture of life and death, along with aren't we all allowed to die with dignity at our own pace

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Australia for an ARC to read and review.

I found this a very difficult book to read. But regardless this was an interesting and engaging read.

This is a moving book about Lily Harford who has been diagnosed with Dementia, her life during her younger years, and the 'present' time (that being the early 2000s), as well as the life of her daughter Pauline, and Donna a nurse at the nursing home that Lily resides.

The characters are very relatable and written very well, that readers are able to connect and relate to them.

Lily Harford’s Last Request is a poignant contemporary fiction novel set in Queensland by a debut Australian author. I was sent a widget by the publisher - I doubt I would’ve selected this on my own - and was intrigued to read an exploration of the issues surrounding assisted dying, especially since it recently became legal here in New Zealand after a referendum demonstrated overwhelming public support for the right to choose, but it is not yet legal in Australia. I thought this was a mostly well-written and accurate portrayal of the challenges faced by many families as dementia becomes increasingly common in our ageing population, let down by mostly unsympathetic characters and a disorientating non-linear narrative.

This is told from the perspective of Lily, who has multi-infarct dementia and lives in a nursing home, her daughter Pauline, who is struggling with her demanding job as a school principal on top of her various family issues, and caring nurse aide Donna, who becomes close to Lily. The book begins with Lily apparently being suffocated - which she welcomes as an escape from the prison her failing body has become. In a series of flashbacks we learn about her life as the daughter of hardworking but poor parents who built a successful life for herself running her own accounting practice, and raised her daughter on her at a time when single motherhood was viewed with contempt. As Lily gradually loses her mind and her cherished independence, she decides she wants to die on her own terms before she loses all dignity or the capacity to act - but who can she persuade to break the law for her?

Unfortunately all of Lily’s sections are in first person present - which I loathe - I accept that given the structure of the book this is probably necessary for the “now” chapters, but it made all the flashbacks clunky and took me out of the story. Some chapters start with a date but then run into the other point of view characters’ and it’s often unclear when the events are happening, which was unnecessarily confusing - I had to keep scrolling back to keep it clear, which got annoying.

My other problem with this was that I didn’t like either of the two central characters - Lily is prickly, proud, selfish and insensitive to others’ feelings - she wants everything her own way. Others might view her in a more charitable light - she had a difficult life and clearly many admirable traits, but I couldn’t get past her refusal to stop asking Donna to essentially murder her when she knows how uncomfortable it makes her - and what the consequences would be if she were discovered. While obviously I had sympathy for her plight, it’s not fair to put an unwilling carer in that position. She is miserable at having to move out of her large house straight into a rest home, but as an intelligent woman and an accountant she should’ve foreseen this and downsized into a suitable unit before things ever got that bad, leaving her poor family no choice but to become the bad guys forcing her out of her home.

Pauline, meanwhile, is too much of a martyr, and blames her amiable husband for her situation in a way that rankled - would it be OK for a man to blame his wife not not taking a higher paid job that would make them miserable so that he can retire early? I think not. She wallows in guilt about putting her mother into a home despite it being the only sensible solution, and is completely unrealistic wanting her to live forever because she personally can’t cope with the pain of losing her (this is exactly what happened with my grandmother who suffered a miserable few years of total dependence because my aunts refused to allow nature to take it’s course and insisted on full hospital care for every illness that might’ve allowed her a gentle escape.) I could identify with her misgivings about menopause and thought the (minor spoiler alert) depression was realistic and sensitively handled.

I did like Donna, working hard at one of the most unappreciated jobs there is, fighting to restore her self-esteem after escaping a bad marriage and awful family. I liked that her life outside of work was developed, and we see her indecision about whether to comply with Lily’s terrible request.
There was a slight mystery element as the question of who did finally comply is not answered until the end. I’m not sure I found it believable to be honest, but I did like the rest of the ending.
Overall this is a good, if serious and slightly depressing read - 3.5 rounded down for the present tense.
This would be an excellent Book Club pick as there’s lots to discuss - there is a list of suggested questions at the end. The author doesn’t debate the rights and wrongs of assisted dying, but lets us make up our own minds. It’s topical for me in that a report came out today stating that since euthanasia & assisted suicide became legal ten here weeks ago, about 70 people have gone through the application process and about 20 have done it. Is that a lot or not for a population of 5 million? I don’t know. I’m glad that here at least, people like Lily have the option to decide what’s right for them.

Thanks to Harlequin Australia for the ARC. I am posting this honest review voluntarily.
Lily Harford’s Last Request is published on February 2nd.

When I first started reading this book I thought I may not like it. I loved the blurb and thought the story would be interesting and intriguing but with each chapter I found (at first) that it seemed to jump around between timeframes, memories and people. But it did so in a way that it really worked and it really helped me understand the story and the characters better.

This is the story of a woman who is aging in a way she doesn't want, with memory lose and the lose of her freedom. This is is story of a life lived and taking control at the end. This is a story that makes you think, it is emotional and it is heart-breaking yet understandable.

It is very well written, and could be hard for some people to read but for me it is a great read, it is definitely thought provoking and is relevant to our lives.

Highly recommend it.

My rating:

Plot: 4 out of 5 stars
Writing: 4 out of 5 stars
Character development: 4 out of 5 stars
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars

Recommended for readers of:

Women’s Fiction
General Fiction

Review:


I enjoyed this book as it deals with the heartbreaking subject of dementia in a thought provoking and compassionate way. The story is well written and is told from the point of view of the three main characters The actions and motivations of each of the characters is explained in detail, this gave the story a realistic feel and kept it captivating to the end.

Review copy provided by NetGalley at no cost to me.

Found this an easy read even though lily’s health issues. I think this book highlights how hard it is for us to see our parents suffer. Thank you @netgalley for providing me with this book.

Lily Harford’s Last Request by Joanna Buckley

Lily Harford has lived in Finn Bay in Queensland for most of her life, she is now in her eighties and has started to forget things. When her doctor diagnosed her with Vascular Dementia, Lily recalled how her father died with dementia completely confused, not remembering anyone and without dignity. Lily wants to die in her own terms and keeps asking Donna, her nurse at the retirement home, to help her die but Donna keeps refusing to do this illegal act.

This book is written in from three points of view; Lilly, Donna and Pauline who is Lilly’s daughter.
A beautifully written book that makes you realise how difficult it is for those that are getting old and frail slowly digressing.

I would like to thank Net Galley and Harlequin Australia for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

“But sometimes trying to remember things is like attempting to scoop slippery fish out of a muddy pool with bare hands. I make the occasional contact and even hold on for a short time, but then the images, sounds and emotions slip away again and I’m jerked back to the immediate, the now, which is always such a huge let-down. I’ve possessed a sharp mind all my life. It’s been the cornerstone of my success and my whole self-image. Without it, what am I?”

Lily Harford’s Last Request is the first novel by Australian journalist and author, Joanna Buckley. Lily Harford just wants to die. It's true that at eighty-seven she has had an amazing life: widowed early, but establishing and maintaining her own accounting business for almost forty years, raising Pauline as a single mother, grandmother to Rachel, great grandmother to Luke and Rosie: her family and friends agree she has always been a formidable figure.

“A femininely handsome woman, she had always been a living embodiment of the traits she’d espoused to Pauline from a young age– strength and capability, confidence and willpower, optimism and control. Solid at every turn. And in recent years a long-retired great-grandmother, still so vibrant, so hard wearing. Not like now.”

Having to give up her beloved home on King Street, to enter Finn Bay’s Blue Vista Care Facility, to lose her independence? Heart-breaking. Her recall has been frustratingly faulty of late, and that worries her family, perhaps more than it does Lily.

But as she becomes aware of her own deterioration, she remembers her own father’s slow and lingering death, and is desperate to avoid that fate: “I’m not frightened of death. I’ve had a full and long life. But I need to go on my terms while I still have some control, before this narrow window closes on me and I no longer even know that that’s what I want.”

Donna Charleston loves her job as a caring assistant at Blue Vista, loves the residents, and loves doing whatever she can to make their lives enjoyable. When Lily begs for her help to die, she’s not surprised or shocked: she can well understand why but, as she explains repeatedly, she just can’t risk her job or her freedom. And it’s not only Donna from whom Lily begs this mercy: it’s no spoiler to reveal that someone eventually agrees to help her die.

Meanwhile, Pauline Walters is dismayed to see her mother’s decline, afraid of losing her altogether: “a recognition that everything Pauline was, everything her life had rested itself upon with confidence and reassurance, was bound up with her mother’s fortitude and mental strength, her almost-invincibility. Without these, it was as if the whole lot– all that Pauline had known to be dependable and true about her mother and therefore herself– could tumble at any moment.”

The story plays out over some eighteen months and is carried by three narrators: Lily, Pauline and Donna. Lilly’s narrative includes flashbacks that reach progressively further into her past, these incidents gradually revealing her history. An epilogue six years on provides a neat resolution.

Buckley presents the reader with a picture of ageing, dementia and the right to die from three perspectives: the sufferer, the carer and the close family member. She gives the reader an insightful depiction of the anguish, the grief as severe as if the person had already died, that family (in this case, most especially Pauline), suffer as they mourn the strong woman they all admired and loved.

Buckley’s characters are multi-faceted and by no means perfect: a daughter who works too hard, expecting far too much of herself; a son-in-law whose heart is in the right place, even if his head hasn’t always been; a carer undermined by a toxic family and partner, all demonstrate that life doesn’t hold back on the challenges to be faced. This novel offers a sober treatment of a serious topic, not often lightened by humour: a thought-provoking read.
This unbiased review is from an uncorrected proof copy provided by NetGalley and Harlequin Australia

Lily Harford's Last Request was a sweet book about Lily, an elderly woman, and those close to her. Lily is put into a nursing home in the seaside Queensland town of Finn Bay when she starts forgetting things and slips into Dementia. All her life Lily has been a strong, independent woman and doesn’t want to live a life like this.

The story alternates between the point of view of Lily, her daughter Pauline and her nursing home helper Donna. We see the struggle for not only Lily, but also for Pauline, trying to navigate an aging mother, a daughter and grandchildren and a job as a school headmaster. Donna’s point of view outlines the difficulties for nursing home staff as they become attached to residents.

The timelines also alternate from the past to the present as characters look back over their lives. A nice story about the sad topic of someone nearing their end of life.

‘Is this really happening? I wish I could somehow have lassoed time when I was younger, hauled it in and slowed it down.’

In a small seaside town in Queensland, Lily Harford has lived a long and productive life. Lily raised her daughter, Pauline, as a single mother and has had a successful business. But now in her eighties, becoming frail and with her memory failing, Lily would like to negotiate an end to her life on her own terms.

Lily’s daughter Pauline is facing pressures of her own. She is juggling the demands of a busy job with family responsibilities and wants to avoid facing her mother’s mortality. And once Lily moves into the Blue Vista nursing home, she makes friends with Donna, a nursing assistant. Donna is kind and compassionate, and still dealing with low confidence: the legacy of an abusive childhood and a failed relationship.

Three women at very different life stages: Lily remembers life before her body started to fail (and fears sliding into dementia); Pauline feels guilty that she cannot care for Pauline herself (and puts herself under even more pressure juggling work and family responsibilities); and Donna has yet to learn to have confidence in herself.

Many of us, reading this novel, will be able to relate to at least two of these women. Some of us, who have already farewelled aged parents after long and debilitating illnesses, will relate to Lily’s desire to end her life. And we will feel, too, for those who have requested (and often been denied) such assistance. While Lily may be the central character, Pauline and Donna are important. At every stage, life is full of challenges. Lily’s memories remind the reader that every elderly person was once young. Losing independence is difficult enough, losing control over body and mind can be devastating.

A thought-provoking novel about ageing, life challenges, emotions, relationships, and self-image.

Note: My thanks to NetGalley and Harlequin Australia HQ for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

A very difficult book to read at this stage of life. I can’t honestly say I ‘enjoyed’ this book, in fact I struggled to finish it. But it was well written and concentrated on some awful realities. Relatable characters, and a good dose of mystery until the end. Too real for me though. I like escapism at the moment.

‘Lily Harford’s Last Request’ was very close to the bone for me, having cared for my father, my mother and then my step-father. It touched me remembering my mother’s fear of Alzheimer’s and how she faced it as she lost words, lost dignity, lost all before she could do anything about it. She went from a strong, intellectual, vital woman to a mere shadow of herself, still smiling and singing but, eventually, depending on us to make the most important decisions about her life. Thank goodness we’d always been close enough for me to know what she’d want.
The mother/daughter relationship was very believable to me, as was the caring relationship that Donna shared with Lily in the nursing home. It was all too familiar.
It was a very satisfying ending, something that I wish my mother could have had.
Thanks for the opportunity to review this book. It’s ones like these that make it all worthwhile.

Under what circumstances would you ask someone to end your life? This is a question posed by Lily Harford’s Last Request by Joanna Buckley. But this book is not just about assisted suicide but also about family relationships, self-image, past trauma, navigating present difficulties, and consequences of feelings resulting from past and present emotions.
Lily is a trailblazer. A single mother and a successful businesswoman in a time when both were unusual. However, her body and mind begin to let her down and ageing takes its toll. The much- dreaded loss of independence follows and Lily is shunted off to a nursing home. Past memories are fresh, but Lily struggles to live in the present, as dementia takes hold. Lily recalls her former selves - mother, professional woman, lover, daughter - who still exist inside her with numerous flashbacks.
Lily's only daughter, Pauline, struggles with a demanding but fulfilling job, a husband who is a disappointment, a daughter and grandchildren. Her and Lily’s bond has always been strong, but Pauline is struggling to resolve being the person caught between generations, still working herself with her own daughter and granddaughters to care for. Reynolds captures the guilt of not being able to care for a parent personally and the feeling that you are abandoning them and also that the parent is also abandoning the child
The third point of view is nurse aide Donna, still recovering from a dysfunctional childhood and the demise of her marriage, and a loss of confidence. She connects with Lily and sees her as a person, not a dementia patient. Donna’s family are not nice. Basically, they are bullies, seeking out the weakest member, who happens to be Donna. “…teasing cloaked in humour, jokey scrutiny of her personality carried out with the precision of eye surgery.”
There are some wonderful pieces of writing about family and intimate dynamics. This piece about Pauline and her husband Sam is one: “Although she loved him and her snitchy barbs embarrassed her, the criticism slithered greasily out of her mouth, even as she watched her husband’s face close over in battle-worn surrender.”
Self-image is another theme. Both Pauline and her mother seem to have curated images of themselves, both internally and extern ally reinforced. For Pauline it is how we get trapped in an image of ourselves designed by ourselves but bolstered by other people’s perceived expectations. Pauline’s diagnosis of depression gives her a glimpse of permission to stop being invulnerable and perfect, and so in control.
Lily’s thoughts are more nuanced. “I’ve possessed a sharp mind all my life. It’s been the cornerstone of my success and my whole self-image. Without it, what am I?” She also ponders the nature of dementia: “It’s as though all the light and colour are leaching away”. What hurts the most is the realization of the effects of dementia: “I’ve come to know what the look on his face means. ‘Have I already mentioned that?’
This is an interesting exploration of ageing from the perspective of the aged and their loved ones and it explores many topical themes.

This to me was a hard read and I don’t know how I could happily recommend it to anyone particularly and elderly person. Sure death is inevitable but one doesn’t want to dwell on that and the god awful things that start to go wrong as we decline.
Lily Hartford has dementia and while she is still able to have lucid moments she has asked anyone who will listen, to help her die before the disease takes over her mind completely. Her daughter Pauline is wracked with guilt as she has recently uprooted Lily from her family home and put her In a nursing home./retirement village. With flashbacks to Lily’s youth we learn a lot more about this strong independent woman as we do Pauline and Donna, a care giver at the Village.
Was it because of my age (mid 60s) and the thought of what could be to come, that I found it a hard read? Probably. I completely understand Lily’s request to die before she was unable to decide for herself, and as her body betrayed her as too, well who wants to live like that.

#LilyHarfordsLastRequest #NetGalley

I loved this book. Thank you NetGalley for my advanced copy. I was so intrigued with the opening I couldn’t wait to find out who was the …….

A tale of love, fear, anger and courage all rolled into a story that affects many families around the world.

Heartbreaking at times but it felt like a true account. And what a fabulous ending.

Great job and a great read!!!