I found this book terribly difficult to read, mainly the expectations we place on ourselves and others. I really can’t say I enjoyed it but I did admire Lily and her daughter Pauline’s relationship.
And thank goodness for wonderful care workers like Donna.
A very topical subject and one that might be good for book clubs.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy to read.

I don’t know if saying I enjoyed this book is really the right terminology to use as it hits a bit close to home as I’m heading into the same situation as Pauline with my Dad, but it’s a well written story told from several different view points and periods in time that makes you think what would you do in the same situation.

Thanks to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book..

This novel explores several topical subjects that will hit home with Baby Boomers like myself. Pauline is a driven career woman, wife, mother, grandmother but above all a loving daughter to Lily Harford.. Lily herself has had a tough but rewarding life….widowed early, later becoming a single mother and developing her own business at the same time. Their bond is strong and seemingly invincible, until Lily, becoming increasingly frail and forgetful with age, and relocated to a nursing home, finds herself confronting her own mortality and making a difficult decision. She asks Pauline (and others) to help her end her life on her own terms and therein lies the dilemma.
The book is told from the perspective of Lily, Pauline but also Donna, a nursing aide at the home, who is fighting her own demons, but also becomes close to Lily.
Joanna Buckley writes with compassion and sensitivity about relationships past and present, triumphs and tragedies, those big life decisions and small mercies that keep us going …and resolves in a manner that will leave you pondering what would you do? How would you feel in the same situation?
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC ..recommended read.

A sad but loving novel about a matriarch journeying into dementia at her life's end. The unforgiving fear of losing her mind requires her to seek death through alternate means. The story takes you on a wonderful, moving journey that is well balanced, well told and culminates in a surprise ending. Highly recommended and well done Joanna Buckley.

Lily Harford is growing old, and an early diagnosis of dementia gives her time to reflect on her full and joyful life with husband Sam, and the way she wants to end it. Pauline, her busy daughter can barekycontemplate losing her, let alone helping her with her last request. Donna, her caregiver, is everything a caregiver should be, but this doesn’t include euthanasia. Powerful stories, beautifully told about an issue that is so very current and so very complex and so very different depending on where you stand; the dying one, the daughter, the husband, the caregiver. Who, in the end should have the right to make that decision? Beautifully written, moving and timely. Thank-you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Australia for an advance digital review copy.

We may find ourselves in Lily Hartford’s situation, learning that we or a family member have dementia and have to move to a rest home because of our failing health. If we were in this situation would we want to get someone to assist us to die so that our family did not have to see us endure the ravages of dementia?
I found this story uplifting and the three main characters were very real. Lily is aged in her eighties and has had a good life despite having lost her husband suddenly early in her marriage. She has built up a successful accounting business and brought up her daughter, Pauline.. Pauline is a school principal and is stressed by her demanding job as well as observing her Mother’s decline in health; she would like to retire but needs to keep working because of a poor financial decision made by her husband. Donna, Lily’s caregiver at the Blue Vista rest home becomes very close to Lily; we learn about her unhappy family life and failed marriage. I became attached to these people and was happy to see that Donna’s circumstances were improved at the end of the story.
It is a very modern story and I enjoyed getting to know the three women and their interesting but realistic lives. The story is told by each of the characters in alternating chapters and totally held my attention. I found the book group discussion questions thought provoking. Thanks to netgalley.com for the opportunity to read this book.

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of Lily Harford's Last Request thanks to Net Galley and author Joanna Buckley.

This is the author's first work, and it serves as an introduction to her outstanding writing. The book cover and title piqued my interest, so I purposely went past the blurb, which I'm glad I did. To be clear, I'm not delighted to skip blurb because it has a horrible plot; rather, I'm dealing with some personal troubles right now, and books are my solace...so I wanted to avoid anything that may make me weep or feel sad. But if I hadn't read this book, I would have lost out on something crucial.

What a fantastic book with fantastic writing. The lives and struggles of Lily Harford, her daughter Pauline, and her caregiver Donna are chronicled in this novel.
Lily Harford, after a prosperous life, is suffering from dementia, and her memories, cognitive abilities, and control over her life are slowly slipping away. The anguish and hardships of dementia sufferers, as well as their families' challenges and unwillingness to accept the condition, are shown in this narrative.
With this book, I wept a lot, felt a lot, and went through a lot. It's a narrative that's both heart-breaking and wonderful. As a daughter, I could identify with Pauline, but I could also empathize with Lily's problems. There are so many lovely characters in this book. Donna's character is well-developed, as is Pauline's husband Sam's. There was not a single character that I disliked, and all the characters were well-suited to the settings.

Lily's life exemplified courage, strength, kindness, and knowledge, and her fall caused a great deal of sadness. After reading the book, you will wonder what you would do if someone in your family had this disease. I'm choking even as I write this review.

There are just a few novels that can have such an impact on me even after I've finished reading them. I must express my gratitude to the author for this lovely book. This book will be launched on February 2, 2022, and I plan to purchase a copy. This is a book that I would suggest to anybody.

I will be posting all the reviews on goodreads and and my blog eventually.
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/?ref=nav_home
Blog - https://dynastybook.wordpress.com/

I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Lily Hartford has dementia and wants to end her life on her terms. Joanna Buckley has approached a heart breaking subject with sensitivity and kindness.

Joanna tells this story through the eyes of Lily, her daughter, Pauline, and her nurse aide, Donna.

This book is a moving novel depicting how we celebrate the lives of the people we love and how we cope with a debilitating illness as it strips the identity and dignity of the person we are losing.

I would absolutely recommend this book, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The opening paragraphs are confronting, so we can guess right from the outset what Lily Harford’s last request might be. But how it reaches that conclusion is the main focus of the novel and is told primarily through the viewpoints of three women - Lily herself, her daughter Pauline and aged-care worker, Donna.

Lily is horrified when she begins to realise that her memory is slipping, that age has finally caught up with her. A successful business woman and single mother, she’s dealt with life’s many challenges with vigour, strength and confidence. Dementia and decay aren’t supposed to happen to her. She is determined to exit on her own terms, but for that she is going to need help. She starts off protesting and mulling over her current situation - “… even if my brain and body are on the way to buggery, I’m not going to let them go downhill without a fight” – although as time passes, she loses impetus and gradually falls back into past memories of her youth and early loves.

Pauline is a school principal who has to deal with her own career stresses and other mid-life issues. Equally as “capable, dependable and robust” as her mother, she is in danger of falling apart as she witnesses Lily’s personality slipping away. Pauline and her husband Sam are forced to sell Lily’s house and send her to “an institution [that], no matter how lovely its aspect, facilities and staff, [is] no substitute for a family home and its happy, rich lattice of memories.”

Donna, divorced and unsuccessful with men, suffers from low self-esteem, but absolutely loves her job in aged care and she will form a strong bond with Lily when she comes to live at Blue Vista. However, she is deeply disturbed by Lily’s “request” of her. When the crisis is reached, she fears her slip back into alcoholism may have made her do something terrible.

This is a powerful novel that will speak to everyone who has already had to face - or will in the future - the inevitable difficult decisions around caring for an ageing loved one who may suffer from dementia or need intensive end-of-life care. It also poses vital questions about euthanasia.

The characters are all appealing and perfectly drawn: Lily, once full of vitality who dreads succumbing to gibbering helplessness; Pauline, struggling to maintain some quality of life for her mother but also dreading the time when she will lose her; Donna, who is simply wonderful and a warm reflection of all the real workers like her in aged care who genuinely love what they do in looking after the elderly and frail. As the principal male in the story, Pauline's husband Sam, also demonstrates the best masculine supportive and positive qualities.

It’s been a long time since a novel made me sad and teary yet also optimistic and uplifted. Joanna Buckley’s beautiful novel will speak to many and deserves a wide readership.

Five Stars

(With many thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collins Australia for the ARC.)

Available for pre-order (published 2 February 2022)

This book was so moving and beautiful. I really hope this comes out in the audio version because I would love to get this for my mum.

Many thanks to Netgalley and HQ Fiction for this ARC and for my review and comments.

This read starts at the end of Lily Harford's life. Her body, against her mental wishes, struggles to stay alive when the alternative is the opposite. One could imagine that even in the event of knowing that there lies an unwanted future of a decaying mind and preparing for a death on one's own terms, the body as in childbirth simply takes over, in birthing the body wants to expel it's reproduction, in death the body fights to live.

The author takes us back and reveals the very situation that many find themselves in, stressful work and ageing parent(s). It's a time when all the balls up in the air as is being experienced by Lily's daughter Pauline. Pauline has a very responsible job as Head of her school. Her job requires so much from her, manager, child welfare officer, negotiator, politician, finance director etc etc and then there is her mother, husband, daughter and grandchildren. If only she could retire!

Why has Pauline taken all this on, well simply Lily is the problem. Lily has set a very high bar, raising Pauline as a single parent, assisted by grandparents and at the same time running a very successful business. A formidable woman. The example is there for Pauline to emulate. Pauline though is suffering, diagnosed with depression as well as one would suspect chronic fatigue syndrome, pushing the boundaries and hating it, she is moody, bad tempered and has the occasional unexpected public outburst. Fortunately Pauline does have a very sympathetic and understanding husband but wait, he's part of the problem also, just why didn't he take that high paying job that would have given them financial freedom?

Pauline is able to eventually convince her mother that it's time to give up the family home and to move into aged care, a beautiful place with a sea view but it's still aged care and for which Lily's experiences like so many away from her home of memories, garden and the scent of flowers blooming and wet grass after rain to the controlled nursing home environment and the so obvious unpleasant smells, her health and memory rapidly declines.

Donna is a dedicated aged health care worker and forms a real bond with Lily who one day out of the blue makes an unexpected desperate request from her. This is a conundrum for Donna, on one hand she can see the terrible decline of Lily but to honour her request is an unfair lack of judgement on Lily's part that would have long term consequences for her. Still, it plays on her mind as does her family's poor attitude toward her and the memories of her earlier life's struggles. There is no way she can placate Lily's request but this doesn't diminish her caring for her and often goes to the home on days off.

Five years after Lily dies Donna makes an unexpected visit to Pauline's home and hands her an envelope addressed to her from her mother. Donna was made to promise that this letter would not be delivered to her daughter sooner than this time. Pauline reads the letter and while the contents are enlightening on one hand are not what had finally played out, the truth known only to Pauline.

Thank you Joanna Buckley and thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read Lily Harford's Last Request.
I had a feeling it would be a moving intergenerational story and I wasn't disappointed. The emotion was pleasantly not overdone and it was all the more moving for that restraint. I'm not generally a fan of timelines jumping around, but found this one easier than most to accept and even enjoy. The progressively earlier versions of Lily were a lovely layering of the complexities of a life. I felt strongly connected and had the same kind of tug of war that Pauline did wanting to hang on and let go. It kept me wondering.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with this book for an honest review.
Such a beautiful book that looks at the topic of assisted dying.
The characters of Pauline, Lily and Donna become intertwined when Lily moves to a nursing home, but the story shows their lives together as well as their individual lives along with a few flashbacks.
The story was beautifully written and the characters grew with complexity as the story progressed.

This is a great read. I enjoyed all of Joanna Buckley’s characters, but I especially loved Lily.

I found the author’s style of going back to different decades of Lily’s past and describing what was happening with her back then really appealing. This is an absorbing book that I read in a short period of time.

Lily has led a tough earlier life, losing her husband in the Second World War as a young woman. She has close and loving parents who are supportive of her when she gets pregnant at 30, with the child’s father nowhere to be seen. She enjoys a close relationship with her daughter, Pauline, for whom she has always worked hard to support.

Lily develops dementia in her mid 80s, and Pauline reluctantly puts her in a nursing home as her memory worsens. Pauline is a dutiful and loving daughter. She finds having to put her mum in a home so very hard. She works as a school Principal. She adores her grandchildren and loves to spend time with them. She is juggling too many competing responsibilities, which takes an adverse toll on her emotionally resulting in her eventually undertaking counselling.

Pauline loves her husband, Sam, but despairs of his irresponsible streak, which has led to them losing a lot of money in the past. At 55, she’d like to retire. She can’t, as she’s the main breadwinner and she and Sam still have a mortgage. She resents Sam because of this.

Pauline organises a rota of family to visit Lily in the nursing home so that she doesn’t get lonely. Lily meets Donna in the nursing home, who is employed as a carer there. She is an extremely kind and caring person. She suffers from a lack of confidence arising from being treated poorly by her siblings in her formative years. They go on to treat her badly in later years with her brother acting in a sociopathic way towards her, and her sister generally being uncaring. She has come out of a bad marriage with a totally selfish man called Derek. That experience has also scarred her emotionally and undermined her self confidence even further.

Lily and Donna form a close relationship. Donna is the only person at the nursing hind who treats her as an equal and doesn’t patronise her. As Lily’s condition worsens, she asks Donna a number of times to help her to die. Donna cannot bring herself to do this. Lily also asks Pauline to help her die, who equally refuses.

There is a man called Frank at the nursing home who clearly has much affection for Lily, and he pays her a lot of attention.

On Christmas Day 2007, Lily spends an idyllic day at Pauline and Sam’s home. She has had enough of her deteriorating condition and badly wants to end her suffering and her life, wishing for the lovely Christmas Day to be her last great memory. She has a stroke, which depresses her further.

Lily is dead by New Year’s Day, 2008. She passes away in the early hours, seemingly from natural causes.

Did she pass naturally though or did someone help Lily to end things?

This book is extremely well written. It’s a very engaging story. I highly recommend this book to others. I am hoping to read more by Joanna Buckley.

Many thanks to Netgalley for giving me an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.