*note: I am not trans so please uphold trans reviews over mine*

I'd like to preface my review with noting that before I started reading this book, I researched the author to make sure they were trans (and they are) because I am trying to be better about not reading or upholding books about important topics that are not written by someone in the respective group (ie not reading books about racism by white people). Imagine the irony (and my delight) at finding a tweet by the author that says "a proposal: if you are a non-trans researcher (at any level) studying, or thinking of studying, trans people, earnestly ask yourself how what you’re doing can, does, or will actively aid trans survival and flourishing. If you can’t answer that well or at all, do something else!" I so fully support this and thought it deserved mention.

I requested this book on NetGalley because I felt it important to be aware of the 'side affects' that are experienced by people post-transition so that I don't accidentally perpetuate the negative ones.

I appreciate that in the very first paragraph, Malatino emphasizes the hardships experienced by Black and brown transpeople. Whenever I am reading non-fiction about social-justice related topics, I try to be mindful on if the books truly are intersectional. I haven't finished reading the entire book because every few sentences give me pause, but I am pleased by the representation in this book and think it entertains a much needed dialogue on transitioning and the expectations of trans people.

Note: some reviewers found the language in this book to be academic jargon. As someone with an English MA I am likely a terrible judge of this so I wanted it to be noted.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for giving me free access to the advanced copy of this book to read.

My review in Serbian is here: https://talas.org.rs/2023/05/08/pisati-teoriju-kao-depresivna-trans-osoba-deo-prvi/

DNF (sadly)

As an ally of the LGBT+ community I really wanted to utilize this read to help further my knowledge of the Trans experience. I simply feel as though I am not smart enough to understand this clearly, brilliant person's writing. What I did get through I only took away a few points from quite a few pages. I am very out of practice with academic writing and I feel that I just misinterpreted the synopsis and thought that this would be a more narrative style of story rather than a dissertation style which also affected my enjoyment of this book.

I am hoping to find an audio copy of this title in the future as I am usually able to better understand this academic style through auditory means.

*Thank you to NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review an ARC copy of this title.

I very much appreciate being gifted this copy of Side Affects by Hil Malatino, and the opportunity to read & review it. Thanks to the publisher.

This book is meant for an academic audience and my academic days are far behind me yet I found it very compelling. I don't think it is meant for a wide ranging audience and the author is probably fine with that however if you choose to read it or even glean through it you won't be disappointed.

Malatino has a profound voice and provides contemporary and past examples that allows the reader to truly understand the "Side Affects" they are referring to in the title. One would hope all readers have more compassion, empathy and understanding after reading Side Affects.

Although I did have to refer to Google at times or re-read a few passages it didn't take away from my reading experience.

I also spent the time reading some of the works and watching the documentaries referred to in the book. I think about Southern Comfort and Robert Eads often. I have encouraged my friends and family to watch it as well. I have a chronic illness and compare my health journey to his often in my mind. Although no one wants to be sick my journey has been privileged compared to his. It makes me weep, and I am not being melodramatic.

I also read Little Fish by Casey Plett in the middle of reading Side Affects. Since this is a review for Side Affects I won't go into detail but it's definitely worth the read, more so if you are Canadian.

I have been challenging myself to read different voices and different genres. Although I have always been an ally everything I thought I knew has been shifted due to reading this book. For the better.

I really enjoyed this book, but it took me about a month to finish. The pages are densely packed with information, which is amazing but it is difficult to sit down and read. It is definitely written purely for academia. I was slightly disappointed by that, only because it is so filled with important information but is inaccessible to the average person. The book disparages those who make this kind of information hidden away and only for the highly educated, while simultaneously writing in an overly intellectualized, difficult to understand way. The critiques of queer critical theories only existing in academia and the rampant classism in the system falls a little flat when the style of writing does exactly what it is railing against.

That being said, I cannot understate the importance of the information presented here. This is the kind of nuance that transgender issues have been deserving for a long, long time. Malatino is clearly an expert in the field, and this book is incredible with what it offers. Everyone should give this a chance, even if it does take a while to comprehend. I think the target audience here is people familiar with trans issues who are looking for a deeper insight and more nuance to the transgender experience. If that is not you, it may require googling on the side to fully understand but it still so worth it.

An incredibly powerful, insightful, important book. This book should be required reading for all humans as a means to try to understand. I will carry this wisdom with me personally and professionally.

This book was uh. Very Scientific, and I was definitely expecting something more like a pop-psychology book? Very Academic, very Queer Theory. It’s a great book! But it wasn’t really my cup of tea, just because I already do SO MUCH academic reading for school. If you are a person who is not Actively In College, I recommend this book - if you like that kind of writing. Three and a half stars from me, rounded up for NetGalley.

"Some days (weeks, months, years)," Hil Malatino begins, "being trans feels bad. To say so isn't particularly insightful--it's merely factic. Yet there's not much available cultural space for actually existing trans people to think through, let alone speak of, such bad feeling with any degree of nuance or complexity ... the genres of trans living are whittled down to just a few: hero worship, demonology, victimology." Malatino goes on to illustrate the similarly limiting framing of trans experiences in gender dysphoria and euphoria. In Side Effects, Malatino aims to articulate from a more granular lens feelings and common experiences that tend to accompany the experience of being transgender within a Western geographic framework. In naming these "bad feelings," Malatino aims to help trans readers "begin the long process of working with and through them."

I loved this book. I felt seen and held in the articulations of trans experience in its pages. If I had anything to say to the negative, it would be that the writing style fits squarely within queer/critical theory academia, which can be difficult to understand for readers without prior initiation. Throughout the book, criticism of oppressive systems of power are commonly addressed but within the folds of its own pages this book perpetuates a certain classist firewall limiting comprehension to readers who either have the time or prior education to understand its often dense language and references. There were definitely more accessible breaks from the academic jargon and it may be that the author was attempting to write in a more accessible style but failed to do so consistently. Queer theory definitely has a long history and there may be more merits to the writing style than I'm able to comprehend but it's hard for me to overlook the readers it can exclude.

Malatino posits five core side effects of trans experience with which he bases the first five chapters on: fatigue, numbness/dissociation, envy, rage, and burnout. While it may sound like a bummer of a read (and, to be fair, naming challenging feelings can and does often elicit an emotional resonance that, while healing, can be challenging), I found the chapters to be incredibly deep, informed by both history and fiction and nonfiction narratives of trans authorship, articulating the spaces in which these feelings arise and the benefit these feelings provide to us even amidst the challenge they offer. Some of the most meaningful passages for me were on how trans intimacies (t4t) serve as a form of resilience and space of mutual recognition through which to weather the storm of exclusion from the safety of cisnormative social structures. As well, postulating envy as a defining emotion for trans experience in place of dysphoria (placing the heart of trans experience within desire rather than squarely within feeling bad).

Chapter six focuses on society trans and cis attempts to ameliorate trans suffering and the exclusionary and white-centering ideologies and practices that often accompany such attempts. I found this to be the most analytically thin chapter but it had some very interesting information on the history of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health (WPATH) that helps hone a critical eye to the institution.

Overall, I found this an immensely important book for me (a white transfeminine reader). It's a book that I plan to re-read, perhaps many times.

Everything discussed in this book is compelling but also incredibly academic. If you’re not used to reading academic publications, then the language may keep you from understanding the text. However, if that isn’t the case, and you’re interested in gender theory, then I highly recommend reading this.

As a cis person who is interested in gender studies but has no proper foreknowledge, Side Affects granted me incredibly important insights into the trans experience. Even though the language wasn’t very accessible, the ideas themselves were written very coherently and were not all that difficult to grasp. At times, the chapters felt long, especially when other texts were discussed in quite some detail, but this was never bothersome as it was always interesting enough. As someone who struggles with getting through most non-fiction books, this was a delight to read, though not always easy when it comes to the subject matter itself. I think that the author occasionally referring to his personal experiences helped with that, as it made me feel more connected to the book.

Personally, I loved the books and articles that were referenced (and have checked many of them out already) so this is certainly a good book to start out with if this is something that interests you. I got introduced to many authors and new vocabulary and I’ll definitely keep everything I learned close at hand. Overall, it’s an amazingly informative publication that I’m certain will enlighten many people in academia, trans or otherwise.

Thank you to the publisher for a chance to read this ARC!

In 'Side Affects', Hil Malantino opens up a space for a nuanced exploration of the 'bad' feelings specific to the trans experience. I think this book is vitally important, because, as Malantino argues, there can be great reluctance in expressing anything other than dysphoric or euphoric feelings in relation to being trans, for fear of coming across as 'inauthentic or threatening' to others, especially those who act in bad faith. The text is relatively short, and despite being highly academic, I still found it accessible as a reader. It's definitely a book I would want to read if I were learning about these topics in a formal setting. Reading it made me want to be taught by Malantino!

Chapter by chapter, Malantino explores emotions such as rage, envy, fatigue, and numbness, making use of examples in media and contemporary world events in smooth, digestible transitions. I found the chapters on numbness and envy particularly interesting, and definitely felt understood by the author. It's exceptionally rare to read a book that explores topics such as these, and some parts of the book really felt like a lifeline.

Ultimately, Malantino is writing about ways in which we must confront difficult emotions, work through them rather than avoiding them or fearing them, so as to reconcile with the past and heal. Being stuck very much in the 'flat affect', it feels like an enormous mountain to climb, and too much water under the bridge. That's why I hope younger readers, perhaps those at university, might read this book and begin considering its lessons early enough in life not to fall so deep into the spiral.

I am very grateful to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an ARC of 'Side Affects'. These opinions are my own.

sad i had to dnf. Of what I could understand of this book it was insightful and got me thinking about my own transition and experiences as a trans person. and I really wanted to be able to read more of this as it pertains to my senior thesis I’m currently working on. But the writing in this is inaccessible, which is one of my least favorite thinks about academia. I wish academia would stop using writing that is gibberish to the average person, and even worse for people like me with learning disabilities.

It almost physically pains me to admit that I DNF’d this book—allow me to explain.

I’m no stranger to ten dollar words—I’ve been (good-naturedly) teased for being needlessly verbose both at work and in my personal life. Probably not a unique experience from someone who’s always been an avid reader!

However, ‘Side Affects’ by Hil Malatino had me regularly searching Google for phrases used in the introduction alone. It was a slog to even get through the intro and first chapter before I reminded myself that I don’t have to finish anything that I’m not actively enjoying.

While I did find some insightful sentiments on trans theory, I felt this work to be too academic for me to really retain any of the information. It’s what turns me off to so much theory in the first place and gives me a new appreciation for authors who can break down big concepts into easily digestible writing.

All this to say that if you have a solid foundation for reading academic theory and want to learn more about the trans experience, you’ll likely get much more out of this book than I did.

Thank you to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for providing me with a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a really great academic text that has a lot of important things to say about gender, trans rights and trans history, among many other things, and it is therefore a very tough book to review.

I felt this book would've been better taken in had I taken time to read each chapter and process it, but that is not in my nature and I binge-read the whole thing. I enjoyed it very much, though it was at times quite dense. It would be great to read and dissect as a group, as there are many well-presented arguments here that would make for great conversations with the right people.

Reading this feels like reading a textbook, but a textbook that actually has something worthwhile to say. I’m not certain if this is the goal of the publication, but if the reader’s intention is to dive deep and empathize, while reading complex language, you’re in the right place. It is not a light casual read. Despite my experiences as a writer, librarian worker, and having two college degrees, I found parts of this to be so dense with vocabulary that I couldn't make sense of it.
That being said, the author is highlighting that often trans people are viewed one dimensionally, and only within the scope of their transness, which tends to diminish their other lived experiences and emotions. The message shared and explained is extremely worth reading and exploring, and is well discussed.

Thank you to NetGalley and The University of Minnesota Press for providing me with an ARC of this title!

A difficult read at times, Side Affects provides a much needed look at what it means to live a trans life. Narratives often get wrapped up in the traditional identity politics of being trans, but this book examines the inner workings of trans people and their feelings. There's a lot of burnout associated with being trans and living in a world that doesn't offer proper support, and this book covers how trans people experience that burnout and the ways it can manifest in day to day life.

Source of book: NetGalley (thank you)
Relevant disclaimers: None
Please note: This review may not be reproduced or quoted, in whole or in part, without explicit consent from the author.

This is a really difficult book to talk about, because I’m conscious of my lack of standing, the subject matter is intense and painful, and the style tends towards the remorselessly academic. Which makes it hard to recommend as anything other than a work of scholarship. As a work of scholarship, though … well, I don’t really have standing to assess that *either*. I’m increasingly wondering why on earth I was approved for this. Still, for what little my judgement counts for given that I’m utter layperson, Side Affects struck me as deeply compelling.

Forgive me from the brutalisation of what a complex premise: but essentially Side Affects is essentially an exploration of some the negative emotions attendant upon being trans, emotions that—Malatino argues—are often denied or minimised in pursuit of a standardised, simplified trans story i.e. of trauma followed by medical intervention followed by happiness. While it’s a very different book, in both focus and approach, to The Transgender Issue (and anyone looking for in the other stands to be if not disappointed then at least somewhat confused) what these two texts do have in common is a commitment to the creation of narratives of transness that are neither framed by nor answerable to those pre-defined by an inescapably transphobic cultural context.

I struggled most—as a randomer who picked up a scholarly work—in the early parts of Side Affects, since these are the sections that seemed to me to be the most inseparable from academic discourse. Which is not to say there’s anything wrong with academic discourse but, ye gods—and I realise this is slightly hypocritical coming from me—is there a tendency to use six-hundred-and-seventy words instead of forty. And that’s not to say the language is imprecise, or even impenetrable, it’s just … there’s a lot of it? I mean, I’ve never seen ‘bifurcated’ so many times in a single book. To take an example,

“When is one “post” transition? Who experiences such unity between feeling and perception, given how radically thrown—nonsovereign, out of one’s control—modes of intersubjective corporeal perception are? Is there ever an experience of subjectivity-in-sociality that isn’t, to some (significant) extent, shaped by dissonance and misrecognition, particularly if, as Berlant reminds us, “recognition is the misrecognition you can bear?” Is there ever a moment where we are—transparently, in all our complexity, intuitively and deeply—known by those others we share space with? Where those others understand our bodyminds in precisely the ways in which we desire them to? Even if such moments are possible, or at least feel possible, that doesn’t erase the prior years of consistent dissonance, misgendering, and misrecognition, nor does it easily transform the anxiety and fear that one cultivates as a product of living through (routine, quotidian, incessant) moments.”

*breathes*

Now, I either adapted or, its following chapters, Side Affects moved into an academic mould I find more personally accessible: that of critical analysis of various books, documentaries, and other pieces of media. Either way, from Numbness onwards (the book is structured around a succession of negative emotions—Fatigue, Numbness, Envy, Rage, Burnout—before focusing on questions of healing and resilience, and the ways that they too can reinforce problematic hegemonies) I felt like a more useful recipient of what this book was telling me.

In particular, I was able to see past the nature of the language to recognise the passion that exists alongside it. Not, I hasten to add, that any writer is required to show me their passion before I’ll listen to what they’re saying. I think I just wasn’t quite prepared for an academic text to … move me? Illuminate me, education me, interest me, certainly. But in the end I did find Side Affects quite beautiful: it’s an unabashedly intellectual book with an equally unabashedly emotional heart. And, this may not be how one is supposed to assess scholarship, but I kind of loved it for that.

“Together, we imagined a possibility instead of an ending. This is the real story of bodies. Movement, joy, and release into new configurations. Our bodies do not need to be perfect or exactly as they were when we were born. We are not ruled by the shape we arrive in. We adapt, heal, and expand. Our bodies are not an ending, but a beginning. This is a truth I am willing to die for.”

I'm trans so this book hit really close to home. There's this sense that you have to be quiet, be grateful, when you have access to transition-related care that others might not have the privilege to acquire. This book flips those expectations on its side and acknowledges trans feelings of envy, burnout, and just plain sadness as trans folks go on the very individual journey of transitioning to be seen as their authentic selves. Just like in fiction, where there needs to be space to write happy queer stories along with sadder ones, there should be a space on readers' nonfiction shelves for a book of this nature.