Okay, so I'm not sure that I agree that a child can have borderline personality disorder (or any personality disorder) as I don't think that children's personalities are fully formed yet. However, this book packs in some good information on dealing with a child whom you suspect has issues like borderline personality disorder. BPD is a difficult disease, often misdiagnosed, and creates havoc everywhere around the person with it. It's so important to learn skills and coping mechanisms to deal with it, especially when you love your child. Bravo for writing such a difficult book.

This was a decent read for parents. There were some great points to be made. It was not a read to sit down with, but definitely a good point of reference when navigating the complex world of parenting.

While I don't think anything in here is inherently wrong or misguided, to me it misses the mark as adjusting fire for focusing on children and parents

Having read the original book, I think this feels forced, as is the authors take situations for adults with BPD and push them and redirect towards children and adolescents. To me, it loses some of its authenticity.

*received for free from netgalley for honest review* I didn't need to read this book since i don't have any children, but seemed like a useful book to read and i think it was. Would recommend.

Will be helpful for parents of children suffering from borderline personality disorder especially hearing about how other parents have dealt with various issues.

Borderline Personality Disorder is rampant in my family, so this is an issue I have a lot of experience with. This book is written by one of the authors of Stop Walking on Eggshells, which I have not read but I have heard that it really vilifies people with BPD. I believe that, as this book really shines an unpleasant light on people with the disorder. Kreger talks constantly about not "feeding the monster" and while he's referring to the illness, it makes it seem like he considers kids and young adults with BPD to be monsters. He gives a lot of examples of behavior of kids and adults with BPD that's really abusive, ugly, illegal, threatening, etc.

Chapters include subjects like what to do if your child is arrested, dealing with their self harm and suicide threats/warnings, dealing with grown children who have BPD and are abusing or neglecting your grandchildren, what to do if they abuse you, dealing with their drug abuse, etc. They are mostly depicted as incredibly volatile, aggressive, manipulative, selfish, delusional and mean. Some people with BPD certainly can be, but this book doesn't even really go into the many people who are more inwardly abusive - quietly hating themselves, self harming, thinking nobody loves them, etc.

It also really gives the impression that all cases are severe and permanent, and that your BPD child will never really be successful and/or happy. The best case scenario here is that they can be functional or at least not live with you and make you miserable for the rest of your life. Most of the "success stories" involve parents who "learned to set limits" and often cut off contact or became very peripheral in their adult children's lives. The parents are depicted as saintly, faultless victims, and it never really goes into the fact that BPD is often a reaction to severe childhood abuse, neglect and/or trauma (not at all always -- there does seem to be a high genetic factor).

It's written in a fairly punitive, very controlling way. I can imagine a lot of the advice making situations worse and making teens feel much more depressed and alone, like the advice to take your child's bedroom door off for two weeks if they self harm. There's also just no real feeling of support and hope for parents or kids. The only support for parents is really in the sense of you can take your life back, not of your child will get through this and it can better for everyone.

I suspect that a lot of parents of kids with BPD will like this book. There are lots of quotes from other parents about what the experience has been like for them and/or what worked for them. It's very validating of parents and the advice about how to communicate is fairly helpful (don't rationalize or argue, do empathize and be brief, etc.). I can't help but feel that life will be harder for a lot of kids whose parents get this book, though, and not necessarily in an ultimately constructive way. The lack of empathy is just staggering. It really does depict people with BPD like life-destroying psychopaths.

This is a subject that needs to be written about, but it's a shame that this is the book that was written.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.

I have struggeled with the thought of having bpd for about a year now, but mental health care in my country is almost non existent so I haven’t been able to get diagnosed yet. This book was eye opening. I discussed some parts with my parents and everything fell in its place. Was nice to read and be understood for once

Such a great book for anyone working with parents or children. Highly recommend!! This has great advice that you can provide to families!