When you get pregnant for the first time, you have no idea what lies ahead of you parenting-wise. The night before your wedding, you have no idea what all marriage entails or what it means to be a wife. You say the vow till death do you part, and you don't know how you will deal with the death of your spouse until you have to.

Rebecca and Hal had a typical marriage. They had four kids, a house, and good jobs that paid the bills. They additionally resented each other at the same time. A sexless marriage, affairs, and undealt with anger. Until one night when Hal fell ill. It started as a stomach ache and ended with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, stage four. Four months later, he was gone at age 44.

The memoir focuses on the four months before Hal's passing, then turns to Rebecca and how she learns to live again without a husband. Through his illness, Rebecca comes to terms with the failed marriage, the love and hate she feels for Hal, the celebration of his life, and the forgiveness she feels for him as his life is ending.

This book is a must-read if you love memoirs. The one-story is told by an unhappy wife in a loveless marriage who comes to terms with her husband's illness and the love/hate relationship the two had while he was alive. Then, Rebecca found her joy after his death and learned to live again was excellent.

Death brings out and makes us confront all of the difficult emotions that are inside us. Hate mingles with love and repulsion mixes with adoration. Rebecca Woolf explores this theme in her novel when he husband Hal, whom she already had a difficult relationship with, gets diagnosed with cancer. Exploring grief and all of the good and bad that it brings, Woolf writes a compelling story that gets the reader thinking and, more importantly, that she can use to work through these emotions. While I don't think I was necessarily in love with this book, I'm sure many others will be.

(4.5 stars out of 5) Rebecca Woolf is one of the OG of bloggers. She wrote candidly about her unexpected pregnancy at 23 and the trials and tribulations of motherhood on Girl's Gone Child, so it shouldn't be a surprise to her long-time readers that the same candor would ground her new book <i>All of This</i> which is about the death of her husband Hal, who died of pancreatic cancer at 44 years old.

Woolf writes honestly about the complex emotions of caring for a husband that she fantasized about leaving. Woolf is fair in her examination of her husband, herself, and their relationship. None are looked at through rose-colored glasses, as often happens when someone dies. Her honesty may come as a shock to some readers, especially if they haven't read her blog (I suspect this book is going to have a much wider reading base than just her fans) because she doesn't pull punches when talking about her own choices in her marriage and in the aftermath of Hal's death. Nor does she hide what are some very ugly revelations about her husband. The book is a frank and earnest account of what grief looks like and how it doesn't really fit the molds we often see in popular culture.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this book.

“Rebecca and Hal had a normal marriage. Four kids, a house, jobs that paid the bills. They also had resentment that sometimes teetered on hatred, years of no sex, a handful of affairs, and long-simmering anger.
Then one night, Hal felt knots in his stomach. Several doctor appointments later, he discovered he had stage four pancreatic cancer, and four months later, he was dead. He was 44”

This memoir wasn’t just about losing a loved one and going through the motions of grieving. It was actually also about the author finding her true honest self, with all her flaws, and she holds nothing back.

The author dives in baring all her most inner thoughts/feelings with regards to the unhappiness of her marriage right before her husband’s diagnosis, to the somewhat “relief” she felt when he passed. This memoir may not be for everyone, but I appreciate this author speaking her truth as she saw and felt it. Unapologetically raw feelings, with some humor and sadness is what you will find in these pages.

TW: cancer, death of a loved one, sexual assault, affairs


Thank you @netgalley, @harperonebooks, and author for this digital ARC in exchange for my honest review

I don't think I'm the target audience for this book.

The first part (leading up to Hal's death) was reasonably compelling, but the story kind of lost momentum / went off the rails in the second half.

An unflinchingly honest look at a marriage ended by death before it could be ended by divorce. If the author had not said from the beginning that this was a memoir, I would not have known. It reads just like fiction. There was a lot of jumping around in time within the chapters which was sometimes hard to keep up with. It also felt like she was possibly dancing around and hinting at other abuses in her marriage besides the ones discussed which felt strange since she was brutally honest about every other aspect of her life.

Raw and honest, “All of This” is a well written memoir of terminal illness, love, hate, grief, life, death, desire, & so much more.

A sincere thank you to NetGalley and Harper One for providing me a copy of “All of This” in exchange for an honest review. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to read this story and leave my review voluntarily.

A brutally honest book about the authors dealing with her husbands four month battle with cancer and her life afterwards. The author was planning on divorce just prior to his diagnosis and she remained with him until the end. I could relate to some of her story as I lost my husband to cancer last year but he was the love of my life. I applaud the authors honesty in the telling of her story and her right, as well as others, to live their life as they want. Thank you to Netgalley, the author and publisher for an e-arc in exchange for my honest opinion.

After 14 years of marriage, Rebecca and her husband, Hal, decide it is finally time to divorce. But then Hal is diagnosed with terminal cancer and given only a few months to live. So Rebecca must now must stay with Hal. She still wants to leave Hal but also wants to support him through his last days. She navigates a whirlwind of emotions, both loving and hating him, remembering the good times and the bad. After Hal's death, Rebecca struggles with grief because she isn't feeling what people expect or would find acceptable. She feels free. But how do you tell people that death can also bring relief?

This book discussed grief, love, and marriage. She lays it all out there: her affairs, her troubled relationship with a sometimes verbally and emotionally abusive husband, and her mixed emotions after his death. I imagine Woolf''s honesty will be a great comfort to many women that has experienced becoming a widow.

I would like to thank NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I have been impatiently waiting for the release of All of This. I have been a follower of Rebecca's work online and have always loved the real and beautiful way she talked about just about everything. This memoir is real and raw and beautiful. Grief isn't just one thing. Widows aren't supposed to act in just one way. A marriage that ends in death isn't always something we sit in the dark and mourn. The loss of a person and the loss of the marriage and the loss of the spouse and father can all be four very different things. I'm grateful to Rebecca for being willing to open herself up in this way, for paving the way for others to be their own truth tellers.

Grief is complicated- but even more so when you both love and loathe the person you lost. This unforgettable memoir explores the complexities of mourning a man you no longer wanted to be married to and the unexpected joys of the aftermath. Raw and honest, often uncomfortably so. The best memoir I've read in a long time.

I did, however, almost pass it over as the cover comes off as fiction. Otherwise 5 stars.

This book is painful to read yet difficult to put down. The honesty of the author is apparent at all times. The grief of a failing marriage when her spouse dies...leaving her with guilt, along with freedom...She decides to live her life the way she chooses, finally, no matter what that entails. Others can go along with her or not...this story, the life of a confused, grieving widow, is one that comes alive on the pages...no holds barred...letting it all out...I am not sure I could read this again...to the bitter end...this book was sent to me by Netgalley for review electronically.

All of This by Rebecca Woolf is a memoir that expands our understanding of grief and unpacks the complexities of death in marriage that was already dead.

After 14 years of marriage, Rebecca and her husband, Hal, decide it is finally time to divorce. But then Hal is diagnosed with terminal cancer and given only a few months to live. So Rebecca must now reconcile wanting to leave Hal with also wanting to support him through his last days. She navigates a whirlwind of emotions, both loving and hating him, remembering the good times and the bad. After Hal's death, Rebecca struggles with grief because she isn't feeling what people expect or would find acceptable. She feels free. But how do you tell people that death can also bring relief?

This book discussed grief, love, marriage, and desire in ways I haven't read before. It felt brutally honest while also scared of how people would perceive and receive the author's truth. There is a lot to process, both for the author and the reader. There were times when I was totally absorbed by the story and also times when I felt disoriented by crashing of conflicting emotions. The writing is powerful and captures the multitude of feelings through apt metaphors. The book is well crafted. I enjoyed reading it even when there were times that I couldn't quite find a connection to it.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the Kindle ARC. All of This is the most brutally honest memoir I've read in a long time. Rebecca Woolf tells the story of her 13 year marriage and raising four children with a man she had only known a few months before she became pregnant. As with a lot of marriages, at first there is love, companionship, conversation and a connection. As time went by, Rebecca's marriage showed cracks in its foundation, which wasn't a firm foundation to begin with. While considering a divorce due to the unhappiness in her marrage, her husband is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Rebecca remains loyal and cares for him prior to his death. Rebecca and Hal are honest with their children about what is going to happen. The twist in this memoir and the rawest truth is that Rebecca is not entirely sad that she will be alone to raise her children. Ms. Woolf's story and her writing show the many complexities to marriage, love, happiness, unhappiness and the death of a spouse.

This was a very honest and open memoir, which I always appreciate, because, whats the point in writing a memoir if it isnt truthful? Woolf’s writing style was intriguing and at times, i almost forgot this was nonfiction, being pulled into the story here.

Rebecca Woolf has written a memoir about grief that changes the conversation as we know it––and we, as readers, will all be the better for it. She speaks with brutal honesty about a brutal subject and her words will resonate with so many experiences: the loss of a spouse, the loss of a marriage, the loss of identity, and the journey to reclaim one's voice. She is paving the way for a new dialogue about widowhood and womanhood with ALL OF THIS, bringing to light topics unspoken for far too long.

This memoir is really heavy at times, but ultimately is an honest portrayl of how grief never leaves us it just changes.

All of This isn't a grief book, or a cancer book, or a traditional widow's journey where a tragic hero(ine) mourns a beloved partner who passed too young.

As Rebecca Woolf's husband Hal receives a cancer diagnosis and dies within a few months, she holds space for the good and the bad, supporting her children as they grieve while recognizing that she was about to divorce him. It's a guide for how to figure out your own self in the wake of a relationship to someone who was, frankly, not a great guy, and how to raise daughters who make decisions about their bodies, love and sex.

Woolf confronts tropes about widowhood, and spends the second half talking about her sexuality after her husband's death. This part of the book has a less clear timeline than the beginning, and begins to wander a bit, but Woolf's insight into love and her desire for a non monogamous partnership takes her to some interesting places (including a bit with an Uber driver that made me teary).

I've been following Rebecca Woolf for like a decade now (?!) and this is my favorite Woolf - honest, raw, funny, revelatory, blunt. She paints a picture of a dying man and a struggling marriage that is complex - like all humans are - without denying herself her feelings, rooting them in the social constructs all girls are raised with.

[With thanks to NetGalley for the ARC]

This is a provocative story but I just did not care enough about the author. I was not familiar with her prior work - blog or instagram fame, so maybe that's why?

Rebecca Wolf has written a raw open honest memoir of her husband’s illness.She shares with us their marriage his difficult behavior towards her.The healing she has while caring fr him till his passing and the life she creates for herself.Absolutely amazing memoir will be recommending.#netgalley #harperone