I was deeply affected reading this, especially as Qureshi wrestled with how to tell her family she was interested in marrying someone from outside their community, which is a really difficult decision to make, despite being raised in a western society. It’s also a potentially incredibly isolating decision, and unlike some women I knew, Qureshi’s family came round.

This isn’t my usual genre but I’m glad that I read it. It gave me an insight to other cultures and how longe can work in different ways. A good read. Well worth trying it for something different to your usual reads.

When I read fhe blurb of this book, 'the words 'straddled between two worlds – school and teenage crushes in one, and the expectations and unwritten rules of her family's south Asian social circle in the other' had me sold. I was immediately drawn to this memoir, being a young adult in a south asian household myself. I had certain expectations going into the book and yes, they were met but not quite in the extravagant, larger than life way, flamboyant way I had imagined. Instead they were met by the tender, quiet, humble yet inspiring prose of Qureshi.

There were parts i related to and smiled and cried about, like her Paris apartment and the demise of her father, and then there were parts which I sped through and sounded pretty mundane. I don't know how memoirs are supposed to feel but this one felt like the author wrote it as an act of catharsis, for her own self, without trying hard to meet the expectations of her target audience. It was like she just wanted her story to be told, no matter the need for fancy words or flamboyant buildup. And truly, that's where the magic lies when it comes to such memoirs i think - the fact that they are being told.

Thanks Netgalley for my e-arc!

A lovely memoir of finding love in the modern age. A cute little read to give some hope to your dating life.

I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

As a reader who doesn't reach as much nonfiction, I appreciated taking the time to read Qureshi's memoir. In the market, there is a lack of high quality memoirs produced by Muslim women writers, and this book addresses this crucial gap while offering an insight into Qureshi's life as a Muslim British South Asian woman whose faith is not up for debate. I love her honesty as she tells us how she's gotten to where she is through trials and errors. This is a beautiful story of love, grief and what it means to find yourself. Although the focus of the memoir is the process by which she met her husband, the book seemed deeper to me- it was indeed about how she truly met "herself."

How We Met is a cute, quick read of an ordinary love story. What makes this story special is that the actual meeting sounds like any way a couple in the 21st century would meet. This would have been fun to listen to on audiobook, but as a book, it left me wanting more (especially more of the misadventures). Maybe Qureshi is more suited to essays and anthologies.

Thank you <i>Netgalley</i> and<i>Eliott &Thompson</i> for letting me review this book.

Huma Qureshi's words were like dancing butterflies before my eyes, it's not exotic but it's beautiful because of the familiarity. Although the author shares South Asian lineage, before going into I was sceptical that this might be very different & I might not like it at all as there can be so much western prerspectives of things. Nevertheless, as soon as I started reading I fell in love with the writing, every line was embracing me with the familiarity, familiarity of the culture; with the mother-daughter bond that Huma and her mother share, the dispute between them got me screaming like "big relate". I felt it in my heart when she talked about her father and I can understand the dilemma she was going through while going out with Richard so easily.
This was the first time I read a memoir and I never expected it to be so well written but it was! I could relate to Huma so much even though there were so many differences of opinions, she seemed an incredibly sensible person and totally human to me.

Reading this book has given me the required hope to believe I'm going to get that love I deserve. I want to sent the author a gift basket for sharing her story with us.

4.5 stars.
I picked this up because I was intrigued by the summary to this book. As a child of South Asian parents, like the author, I felt there was a similarity to our experiences: strict parents, restrictive upbringings, with marriage seen as the pinnacle of (and sole meaning to) our existences.

I could relate to Qureshi’s confusion, very similar to my own as an adolescent, when, after years of being told not to interact with males, she was supposed to marry who they picked. As a second generation kid of immigrants, this was difficult to process and integrate into my view of what I thought my life should be. Qureshi described this dissonance so well. As well as the process, often humiliating for her, of meeting prospective husbands.

She also described the lifelong programming we’re given, and that she wholeheartedly believed in, that South Asian women are nothing without a husband (and children), which caused the author so much pain and sadness, as none of the methods she tried over years to meet a suitable man panned out. The men she did meet ranged from cringeworthy, terribly self-centred to plainly awful, the further Qureshi moved from her supposed best before date. (Yeah, the aunties are always keen to let you know how or how you do not meet requirements the older you get.)

This moving memoir brought up a LOT of emotions, taking me back to unpleasant discussions with my own parents, and the ridiculous notion in the South Asian community that a woman is nothing without a man.

I was deeply affected reading this, especially as Qureshi wrestled with how to tell her family she was interested in marrying someone from outside their community, which is a really difficult decision to make, despite being raised in a western society. It’s also a potentially incredibly isolating decision, and unlike some women I knew, Qureshi’s family came round.

While not a long book, it was interesting to read about all the choices and questions Qureshi had to work out about herself and her choice of partner. This was an emotional, difficult, but also really enjoyable read.

Thank you to Netgalley and to Elliott & Thompson for this ARC in exchange for my review.

How We Met is a gentle and moving memoir of finding love. It’s incredibly readable, enjoyable and deeply personal story.

The empathy, grace and love shines through the narrative. Woven in two timelines: ‘These days’ and ‘Those days’ it does what it says on the cover, tells the story of how Qureshi met her husband; a British Pakistani Muslim woman finding her husband, a white, non-Muslim British man. It’s a simply told story of an ordinary romantic love. Yet this is what gives the book its power and beauty and makes it difficult to put down.

From the beginning we know the ending: marriage, a child, a life together. But still I found myself desperate for answers. How did they meet? What were their first dates like? How did their religion and culture impact their lives? Did he convert to Islam? Were her family accepting of her choice?

I tend not to read cosy and heartwarming books but this one has the power to lift your spirits and encourage a curiosity for others lives whilst reflecting on one’s own. If you love memoirs then this is a must read!

How We Met is sweet cute little memoir detailing how the author met her husband. I absolutely love Huma Qureshi's writing, having read some of her essays previously, and so I was so happy to get my hands on this,

Thank you to the author, Elliott & Thompson and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Having read a few of the author's essays previously, I was looking forward to reading this book. And I found this thoughtful, loving account of her struggle to grow in her identity and find acceptance and love deeply touching. An exploration of familial love, love in friendships, the love of a life partner, and self-love are woven together into a tapestry that helps us understand how important it is to examine - and question where needed - which beliefs and values are really important to us, where we got them from and if these are foundational, or more than a label. I look forward to reading more from this author.

So this is a decent book, the layout of the review copy made it difficult to get into the complete story especially with the way it’s structured! The general premise of the book is decent and could have done with being longer but I guess that’s the whole premise of the book! An enjoyable one and an easy read if you like love (but not love that’s just easy, straightforward and like a book) thanks for the early opportunity to read this early

I enjoyed this short book (not least bc a big part of it is set in the West Mids). Its length meant I was left unsatisfied overall, however, and would have liked to read more about some of the elements that were covered only briefly but felt important to the message of the book. For example, the Mr Bean anecdote and Sad Girl Years feel more formative than they're given space for.

This is a cute almost lighthearted read. The author is a British/Pakistani Muslim woman reflecting on how she met and navigated the circumstances surrounding meeting her husband.
I liked that it was a story about ordinary people's lives which I liked, and that family and love are at its heart. I could relate to the journey of moving from the Midlands to London for opportunities, and I empathised with her journey to finding her voice and freedom. The parts on caring for her father and her grief at his passing were very moving.

Sometimes I wanted more from it, but I understand that it is her story in a world /  specifically a country that makes a lot of assumptions about Muslim women and women of colour, and sometimes that includes judgments from within your own community. It's Huma's story, with plenty of warmth and heart.

I loved this book. The way the Author writes about the struggles of balancing culture, her own dreams, and her life in a modern western country, is very effective. A reader can feel through the pages, the emotions and the internal conflict she battles.

It portrays aptly the habits immigrants have of sticking to their culture as steadfastly as possible- in the current context, the writer's mother setting her up to meet potential husbands through the community, or how in typical Indian subcontinent fashion, news travels by the speed of light through the grapevine, with each and every person feeling that they have an absolute right to make their opinions known to the people in question and so on. It is an interesting read for anyone who has romanticised notions of the 'great lives' people lead- of freedom and of individuality in 'foreign countries'- or for those who speak critically of them for letting go of culture, compromising rather easily with tradition etc.

I particularly loved the use of a few words of Hindi/Urdu in the book and only wish it was done a bit more. It would have connected the readers a bit more to the people in the book with Amee, saying something in Urdu and the Author responding in broken Urdu (as she writes her Urdu is) and English together. In some areas, I craved more detail- like how it took her brothers (one longer than the other) to come around to her situation, or a few other instances.

Would certainly recommend. Thanks to Net Galley for ARC

I enjoy reading stories about people from other cultures. How We Met is just such a story, The author despaired ever meeting a suitable partner, according to her cultural and religious expectations, mostly from her family. I have read many stories like this, but each one is unique. I liked how the author persevered and defied cultural expectations when she found her husband, who was very different. It was a sweet story.

I absolutely loved this! What a fantastic plot, beautifully written, intertwining the relationships between the characters in such an ingenious and realistic way.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I adored reding this memoir about Hima and her husband meeting in London. Huma a Muslim goes into great detail on the Muslim culture surrounding marriage that I knew very little of. She meets Richard and sparks fly. And we learn of a blossoming love. Loved it!

A gentle and lovely "how I met your father" story.

Author Huma Qureshi is Muslim, English born to Pakistani immigrant parents. Her parents love her and provided her many western educational opportunities, but there was always an understanding that Huma would eventually marry someone from their own culture, likely through an arranged marriage.

This book is Qureshi's memoir of love. It is a "coming of age" story that chronicles her growth from a youth anxiously holding her parents at bay in the hopes of pursuing her own education and career, to a young woman frantically hoping for a match that is both allowable in her culture and respectful of her personhood, to a grown adult who is finally at peace with her self, strong enough to build the life and the family for which she had longed.

In the midst of this love story are essential elements of life- learning to honor your family of origin while also making your own way, redefining your own faith, learning to trust your own inner authority.

I appreciated the opportunity to read an ARC of this gentle book. My thanks to the author, publisher and #NetGalley. #HowWeMet