“He squinted at himself. Why can’t he be beautiful? Everything would be easier if he was beautiful.”

When You Call My Name follows Adam and Ben, two gay teens with different backgrounds, as they learn about themselves, friendship, and love.

This book is so indescribably real. Every word I read felt like it had been lived, because it has. When You Call My Name depicts the struggle of the LGBTQ+ community during the AIDS epidemic, and the fight for love.

There’s no one demographic I would recommend this book to. Anyone could read this book and learn something from it, and I encourage whoever reads this to do so.

This short review took a while to write, because When You Call My Name left me speechless for days after I finished it. For that reason, I’ll let the book do the rest of the talking.

“The opening scene is easy. Exterior: Greenwich Village. The first week of a new decade. A gust of wind, a lucky taxi, a question. Will you come? And then the rest will unfold in mysterious and surprising ways. But there will be no happy ending, because there will be no ending at all. The movie will last forever.”

This book is set during the height of the AIDS epidemic and it's about two gay teenagers (17 and 18, I think), coming of age. It's technically a romance between these two gay teenagers, but their coming of age is more at the forefront, I think? You kind of know that they're eventually going to get together, and I didn't really feel one way or another about it. The pop culture references in this book are also kind of rough, especially because for a lot of them, I Simply Didn't Get Them, I Am Too Young.

And it's really sad, and really slow in some places, and I think maybe I'd like to read it slowly, over the course of a summer instead of fairly rapidly for a review. (Honestly I was approved for this in December so that one's on me.) Four and a half stars, rounded down for NetGalley.

Beautifully written, and with a truly excellent sense for characterization (I don't think there's a single character here, no matter how minor, that doesn't come off as fully realized) I think this book deserves to be read far and wide, not just for the significance of its' subject matter, but for how good of a story it tells. (And, of course, for the lovingly depicted look at NYC in the 90's!) Shaw does a really good job of compiling details - listing off where people are going and what they're wearing - which adds an even greater sense of depth to the characters and scenes depicted here.

Really, the only thing that didn't work for me, I'm sorry to say, was Adam and Ben's relationship. You keep waiting for them to come together and then when they do they're both just kind of...there. Compared to literally every other character interaction (no matter how one off) their scenes felt so dull and shoe-horned in. I think a stronger sense of who they were going to be to each other might have helped, or even if they had just met a smidge earlier so they could've helped each other more overtly.

Aside from that though, this is a wonderful book that is important for younger readers to have. I would definitely recommend it.

When You Call My Name is a bittersweet story that takes place during the height of the AIDS epidemic, of two strangers whose paths cross more than once, and who eventually become friends. But their seemingly random meetings throughout the story are always surrounded by heartache and pain.

Adam has met the love of his life, but a secret that Callum carries threatens their relationship. Ben’s own secret forces him from his mother’s home, which leads to new beginnings for Ben.

Be prepared with tissues when you read this because it will be hard to get through it without crying at least once. It is an eye-opening account of what much of the gay community had to face in the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic—blame, ridicule, prejudice, death, hopelessness, fear. There is truth behind the fiction, from knowing someone who had it, to fearing you might contract it. It is easy to connect with the characters even if you have never experienced what they are going through.

The pop culture references were a bit much, and even as someone who was alive during the late 80s/early 90s, I still had a hard time recognizing a lot of them. I also found a few of Ben’s scenes while he’s at his new job to drag on. Though it made sense for them to be written in lots of detail, it made the book a chore to get through, and I found myself skipping ahead during those parts. That being said, anyone can enjoy this book. I have seen it compared to the likes of Adam Silvera, and that is a fair comparison—the New York setting and the heartbreak that comes with being in a relationship are all on parr with Silvera, so fans of him should definitely give this book a chance.

This story is about so many things that it’s almost difficult to review - but in a good way. This book is about so much more than just the AIDs epidemic in 1990 in NYC.

It’s about:
• Finding yourself and your community
• Learning how to accept yourself and situations that weren’t in your plans
• Finding family when your own isn’t enough
• Coming out and learning how to take up space
• Coming to terms with grief, love, loss, and everything in between
• Pop culture including fashion, art, film, and music of the 80s/90s

Honestly, this book was a difficult read. I felt really sad and hollowed out to the point that I needed to step away from the book sometimes. It’s just that the characters are all so endearing and lovely. I was really rooting for them and I felt like I was going through their pain with them.

The book follows two different teens and their experiences. Adam is a 17-year-old film addict who gets asked out by a customer, Callum, while on the clock at the video store where he works. The two experience a sweet and cute whirlwind romance and just as Adam realizes he’s experiencing the first real love of his life, he finds out that Callum has AIDs.

Our other main character, Ben, is an 18-year-old fashion fiend who has just been kicked out of his mother’s house after she finds his stash of gay magazines. He comes to NYC to stay with his brother and finds a job as a fashion photographer’s assistant. While in the city, Ben begins to come into his own when he discovers the East Village where there are many queer people.

The teens’ storylines intersect when Adam and Ben meet by happenchance and they begin blossoming in all new ways.

Overall, this was a really heartfelt and emotional read filled with both sorrow and hope. It really captures the place and time that it’s going after. I did feel like some of the pop culture references were laid on a bit thick and it seemed unnatural at times. The pacing was also challenged in some parts of the story where things seemed to drag for a while before picking back up. Still a great read and highly recommended! My rating is a 4.5/5 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This is a story about coming of age, love, and friendship.  It is 1990, and Adam is about to graduate from high school and head to college at NYU.  A film buff, he spends much of his time working in a video store.  There, he meets cute and charming Callum, who asks him out on his first date.  Adam accepts and quickly falls for Callum, just like a movie romance.  

Ben, also a high school senior, has just left his home in upstate New York after his mother discovers his secret stash of gay magazines.  He moves to New York to live with his older brother.  After his brother's girlfriend, a fashion photographer, learns that Ben is fashion obsessed, she invites him to work as her assistant on a series of photo shoots.  Ben is thrilled to be able to pursue his interest and be able to live more openly than he could in his home and hometown.

Then, things begin to turn for both Ben and Adam.  Ben learns that even New York City is not as open as he thought.  And Adam is crestfallen when Callum disappears -- and possibly even more upset when he finally locates Callum at the hospital and realizes that Callum is very ill.  When Ben and Adam meet near that hospital, it seems like any other chance encounter but, as they continue to cross paths again and again, they slowly realize there is much more to their relationship.

This was a terrific book.  It captures the joys and sorrows of a particular and important moment of time -- New York City at the very beginning of the 1990s, as the HIV/AIDS epidemic is at its height.  Through Adam, Callum, and Ben, and those in their lives, the author deftly shows the highs and lows for gay teens coming of age in this era.  The stories of Adam and Callum's relationship, Adam and Ben's budding friendship, and Adam and Ben's effort to find their place among their birth families and found families are alternatively heartwarming and heartbreaking.  The book, on the one hand, feels like a much different time and, on the other, has deep resonance for our current moment.  Do not expect to emerge from this book with dry eyes.

Strongly recommended!

Really beautiful. For an audience born after worst years of the AIDs epidemic in the United States, the scale and scope of the tragedy—which is still ongoing for many communities—is hard to comprehend. I thought this YA story handled it in a really accessible way for that audience.

Has a great concept, but it’s really oddly structured and paced. I typically like dual POV narratives, but the switching every few pages got on my nerves.

This is a powerful and moving story. Adam, in his last year of high school in 1990 New York City and a movie aficionado, meets Callum at the video store where he works, and the two quickly fall for each other. They see each other every week, until one week that Callum disappears. Adam finally finds Callum at a hospital, where it becomes clear that he is very ill. Bereft, Adam has a chance meeting with Ben outside of the hospital. Ben has fled his hometown to make a life for himself in New York City. As Adam and Ben make their way through this critical time in their lives, navigating first love, the opportunity to live openly, family support and hostility, illness, and discrimination, they face a future full of uncertainties -- not least of all the role they will play in each other's lives.

This book is a touching set of stories about coming of age in a specific moment of time, exploring first love, friendship, loss, and hope. Highly recommended!

Wow. Just wow. It has been so long since a book has moved me as much as this one did. I picked this up because it covers a topic in history that I feel isn’t discussed as much as it should be, and I am so thankful that I did. Truly, this book is beautiful. I connected to the characters deeply and quickly because they all feel human. Even the side characters feel like real breathing humans, not just words on a page. Everyone should read this book. It is the most beautiful thing I have read in years, and I would be honored to have it in my library.

"When You Call my Name" is a YA book about two eighteen year old boys experiencing what it means to be a gay man in New York during the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in 1990. The story alternates between Adam and Ben’s perspectives and shares the differences in their experiences until, slowly, their stories begin to intertwine.
Adam’s perspective deals more with falling in love, familial support, found family in the LGBT community, and the direct effects of loving and losing someone who has HIV/AIDS. The emotional intensity in Adam’s point of view is heartbreaking and beautifully written.
Ben’s perspective deals more with the harassment, disapproval, and abuse he receives as a gay man and standing strong through all the bullsh*t that people throw at him. "Ben's sexuality begins to feel less like a secret and more like a badge of honor" is spot on, and I loved reading Ben's perspective so much because of it.
Adam’s love of film and Ben’s love of fashion styling are woven throughout their stories and ultimately lead them to the people that will change their lives forever. Including each other.
“When You Call my Name” flowed so well and the alternating perspectives balanced each other throughout every important moment. I loved this book so much. It never felt too slow or too rushed, each narrator had a distinct personality and their voices were easily distinguishable, the story itself had the perfect balance of feel-good moments and heartache. I loved the glimpses of each other that Ben and Adam got until their lives fully collided and they really became friends.
Painful, beautiful, heartfelt. I cried probably half a dozen times reading “When You Call my Name”, and any book with the power to make me cry deserves all the praise in the world. I don’t have enough good things to say about this book, but I highly recommend it.
I don’t know if Shaw has any intention of writing a sequel about Adam and Ben’s friendship, but I’d read it in a heartbeat.

What an...incredibly powerful novel. I knew going in that this would be heartbreaking, but it was also beautiful and explorative and sweet. I don't really have the right words to put how I feel into this review, but you definitely need to read it, especially if you're unfamiliar with this epidemic.

The year is 1990, the place is NYC, and Madonna is on every station and supermodels are on every magazine cover. All of this sounds great but it is also the height of the AIDS epidemic, people were dying at an alarming rate, many of them gay men of all ages. Ben and Adam are both beginning their journey as part of the Gay community in different ways for both of them there is love, fear, excitement and sadness in discovering who they are and how the world views them. When Adam meets Callum his whole world changes and his heart loves for the first time, but his connection with Ben continues to grow and develop built out of chance meetings and shared confidences. This book is a love letter to NYC in the 90’s (the cultural history is astounding) and to all then men young and old who lost their lives to this horrible sickness. As the author reminds the reader at the end of the book AIDS is still a prevalent issue today as so many people do not have access to the healthcare and support they need. This book gutted me, it broke my heart more than once, and it was absolutely beautiful.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.

There is something so bittersweet about a love that you can never hang on to. When Adam falls for Callum he really believes they have a long time left together. When things change, Adam is left brokenhearted and must figure out where his life will go from here. Ben moves out of his mother's house after she finds his stash of queer magazines. He has to figure out what his life looks like now as an openly gay teen. When Adam and Ben meet they might just find out what life and friendship really mean and what being fully seen really feels like.

At its core, this story was really sweet. There were a lot of relationships in here that are very well done. Ben and Gil's friendship was my favorite. The love these two have for each other is so apparent and easily gushes out of the pages. Victor and Jack are two side characters that I fell completely in love with. I would love a book that focuses on their remaining time together.

What I didn't enjoy about this book is the pacing. I felt like the story dragged in numerous places which took me out of the story a little bit. When I hit these lulls in the story I had to take a step away and catch a breather. Had they have not been there I feel like I would have binged the entire book.

While this isn't a book I would reach for again I do think it's still a worthwhile read. It provides a glimpse into the past of what young gay individuals experienced during the HIV/AIDS epidemic. We see them losing their friends and loved ones, dealing with their own fears contracting the deadly virus, and learning how to love and hope in such a dangerous time.

I got this book from NetGalley and MacMillian Childrens Publishing Group, these opinions are my own. This book took me on a roller coaster of emotions! I grew up in the nineties but I was young enough that what was going on with AIDS didn’t feel like it impacted me much, it’s a part of LGBTQ+ history that I still feel like I know too little about. I enjoyed reading about Adam and Ben and what it would have been like to be a teenager and gay in the nineties! I enjoyed the pop culture references, bit of nostalgia for me! This book was lovely and heartbreaking, especially Adam’s journey with Callum. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and highly recommend it!

Coming out and being gay isn’t easy, but in the 1990’s its was a different world. In When You Call My Name, Tucker Shaw explores coming out, living with AIDS, loving someone with AIDS, and losing someone with AIDS. Adam meets Callum, an aspiring conductor, at his video rental job. He fell fast and hard, then Callum disappears. It’s then that Adam discovers that Callum has AIDS and he must make choices that will change his world. Ben’s men’s magazine collection is discovered by his mother and she promptly kicks him out. He moves in with his doctor brother, Gil, and begins working with Gil’s girlfriend Rebecca. When Adam and Ben’s world collide it is hardly love at first sight. A story of found family, grief, coming out, and love in all its forms, When You Call My Name is and amazing book that needs to be read, to see how far we’ve come and how far we have to go.

This destroyed my heart and then stitched it back together. Shaw imbues his writing with such care, tenderness, emotion, & humanity. I felt transported, in a way unlike many books I've read in the past few years. I adored every moment of this book, both the heartache & the joy. Highly, highly recommend; I'll be preordering a copy & suggesting my library do so too.

I thought this book was absolutely gorgeous. A fantastic story about love, loss, and putting yourself back together. I think queer teens today really need to hear stories centering the HIV/AIDS crisis in the late 80s and early 90s: no story could do it real justice, but each book I read about it surprises me more. When You Call My Name sould be on every gay teenager's summer reading list.

This book will stick with me forever. It's so vivid and so impactful.

My heart is a little bit broken and I cried several tears. This book wasn't what I expected at all.

I've known about the 80s and 90s and HIV, and I knew it was awful. This book immerses you into the heart of the pain and uncertainty of 1990 in New York City. It's hard to read, but worth it.

It actually captures what it was like to live in NYC through the eyes of two gay 18 year old men. One navigating his first relationship, love, and loss. The other finding a place to belong.

The beginning is slow and I put down the book a lot during the first 1/2 or so. But about 1/2 way through and I didn't want to put it down anymore. I was officially won over.

It's worth the read, even if it breaks your heart.

This book is heartbreaking, meaningful, and relatable. I absolutely loved both Ben and Adam, and I liked that this wasn't typical meet-cute-instalove. Instead, it showed the sad and confusing aspects of love and identity.

Adam's relationship was probably my favorite; you just couldn't help but love them. Ben and Gil was also refreshing.

The only downside was that the end dragged a little bit. I love the confusion that Adam feels after, but I just kept on thinking, "I would love if this were over because this would be a beautiful ending.. now."