Who doesn't have at least one narcissist in their family or group of friends? There seems to be more of them than ever, so I wanted to read this book to find out how to live among and with them without getting trapped by their negative toxicity. This book will explain what a narcissist is and go a step further and help you figure out how to live with them and ways to protect yourself. Unfortunately, there are times that you can't just stop knowing a narcissist and this book will help you survive!!

Fantastic book on narcissism. The author writes in a perfect mix of wit, hint of sarcasm, and serious content. This book covers the span of so much information, but not in an overwhelming way. Very simple. I enjoyed that he didn’t downplay the potential dangers of narcissism while also acknowledging that we all have some narcissistic characteristics but that there is a difference between characteristics and a personality disorder. One of the most interesting things I learned from this was that a full blown narcissist personality disorder can, in fact, not be cured. That was interesting to me. He also talks about the points when this turns to abuse and when you turn and walk (or run) away.
But along with that, he discusses the true nature of narcissism being born and growing in our current culture. How to treat people with these traits. How to avoid these traits in ourselves. How to recognize them as well and how they may interact with different personalities. Very thorough.
I loved that there was also a basic test to answer “am I a narcissist?” (However in this netgalley copy, THERE WAS NO TEST!! It just passed right over it! Ugh!) Although of course he encourages that this must be officially diagnosed by a professional.
As someone who has a narcissist pretty close to me for a long time, I found myself saying, “yep, yep, yep,” so often and really was able to take away some good info on how to handle certain situations. I’d recommend this book.

Writers will often read self-help books to capture the depths of their characters' inner lives and diagnoses. If this is why you're reading this book, and not that you have a pile of narcissists around you, you'll find insights that make the battle feel winnable. Coping strategies stand out, and you'll soon not be able the mercy of these grabbers. Solutions are here. The keys to some of the most confounding attacks and grumblings are here. You may find that your 'character' is hard to understand because you/reader are not anything like them. Sometimes it's a relief to get the message that this is a puzzle you can't solve, so skedaddle. You'll be fine. Your characters will be fine.

This was everywhere! The author threw around some reviews and made a mistaken over all assumption. Human are not all narcissists and not all narcissists are the same.

This book was a good read and I believe I enjoyed it because of my personal background in mental health and getting my master's in school counseling. I believe the book did lack in some parts and I did begin to get distracted and lost my attention.

I always love reading about people's personality traits. This book was quite interesting and very informative. I found it was able to prompt thinking about the people in my life (and in society in general) who may fit the description! I did enjoy the advance copy provided by NetGalley but will probably revisit the hard copy of this book as I think some of the material will be better presented/viewed in printed form versus ebook format. I will also be exploring other works by this author.

I received the eARC of this book via NetGalley a while ago, but found the tone in the introduction a little off-putting. I set it down for a few weeks and then came back to it.

The author uses an undertone of humor in his writing, it’s of course meant to make the book more personable and conversational, as well as make the subject matter less intimidating, but in this instance, it felt out of place. The author felt distant from this subject matter.

I don’t mean this disrespectfully, but I’m always a bit skeptical when a book about something like narcissism is written by someone who doesn’t have an advanced degree or first-hand experience in that area. I know the author has a degree in Communication and did quite a bit of research, including interviewing people in this field, yet it still felt like there was a distance from subject matter.

This reads like a casual and somewhat entertaining conversation with a friend who is interested in the subject matter. A self-help book of sorts, a guide for recognizing narcissistic patterns of behavior or NPD and how you (and your personality type) might respond to a narcissist.

I did appreciate that this book talks about narcissism in society - specifically in leadership, groups and on social media. That is an interesting and important conversation.

Unfortunately, this book wasn’t my cup of tea and didn’t approach this subject matter in a way I could appreciate. I feel this needs to be approached with more of a degree of sensitivity. But I think some readers will take something away and it will make them think.

What an informative and entertaining book about narcissism! I learned a lot about this topic and glad that this non-fiction book was presented in an easy to understand way! It was not too sciency and the narrator was great! It explains what narcissism is, narcissistic traits which is different from narcissistic personality disorder, the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath, how to handle a narcissist and so much more!

I do feel that reading about the four-colour behavioral model in the author's previous book Surrounded by Idiots may help to understand certain area in this book much more.

Overall, this was a good book to go to if you want to learn about narcissism. I thoroughly enjoyed it and planning on reading the author's backlisted books starting with Surrounded by Psychopaths.


Pub. Date: June 21st, 2022

***Thank you St. Martin's Essentials and NetGalley for this gifted reading copy. All opinions expressed are my own.***

Interesting descriptions of degrees of narcissism. It seems we all must have a little bit of self promotion or there is no self esteem. It's all in deciding at what point is it too much of a good thing and when does it become clinical and maybe even dangerous to be around these behaviours. He outlines narcissism similar to his other books using colors to categorize For anyone seeking clarification, this is a good reference. It can get pretty deep and confusing so I'd advise taking notes unless you're skimming thru just to see what it's all about. Excellent descriptions and examples are provided.
I was provided an advanced reader copy but was under no obligation to write a review. The opinions expressed are my own. Thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for allowing me access to the book.

If there are any narcissists in your life, or people who are prone to narcissistic behavior, this book will be very helpful to you. Thomas Erikson has written a highly informative book that starts with the behaviors that are classic to narcissism, and goes on to help understand and effectively cope with any narcissists that might be in your life. He also takes it a step further to show what narcissism tendencies look like in society today. I was surprised by how many there were that I now just take to be normal behavior (social media I'm looking at you). I learned a lot of very good information and swear I highlighted half of this book. In particular I appreciated the examples on how to not apologize for creating boundaries, and Thomas gives very good, clear examples that will be easy to model in my own communication when I need it.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

This book teaches exactly what a narcissist is and what to do with the ones you have in your own life. I think it gave a really good analysis of what narcissism is and allowed me to see the traits of it in certain family members.

Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson
Published: June 21, 2022
St. Martin’s Essentials

This book introduces the general reader to the characteristics of the narcissistic personality. The author includes examples and anecdotes about the behavior of narcissists and gives some strategies and suggestions for coping with this personality type.

Author Thomas Erikson has a specific way of looking at the people around him. He’s developed a system for classifying people using the DISC system. He divides people into four main groups: Dominance (Red), Influence (Yellow), Stability (Green), and Compliance (Blue). Using the color designations as a shortcut, he can speak to the qualities, strengths, and weaknesses of each personality type using the colors as a shortcut.

And if those four DISC qualities sound like an oversimplification of the complex human experience, Erikson understands that very few people are only in one category. He recognizes that most of us are a combination of colors and experience a more layered life than these descriptions offer. But the way he uses these colors to describe how people react, or how narcissists can use someone’s weaknesses against them, hit home for me so hard when he described exactly how a former boss forced me out of my job, and in a way I hadn’t been able to put into words myself. With this simple system is a lot of understanding of human behavior.

For his latest book, Erikson takes his system and applies it to narcissists. I think most everyone has encountered one, whether it be a boss (or former boss), a classmate, a coworker, a family member, or just someone you recognize in the public eye. Erikson uses his DISC system to show readers how narcissists read people and can figure out the most effective way to control them.

But most of this book is simply a deep dive into what a narcissist is and how to recognize them. And more important, he gives people very strategic ideas for getting away from a narcissistic relationship. Erikson talks about our culture and how it contributes to the growing number of narcissists we have, and he talks about about how much of personality comes from our environment as opposed to what we’re born with. And while all that is important and interesting, it’s not the best part.

The best part of Surrounded by Narcissists is how well Erikson understands how destructive manipulators can be and how much time he spends helping readers get out of those toxic relationships—or to avoid them altogether. There is so much smart advice about what to say and not to say, what to do and not to do, that those struggling with someone in their life that they think may be a narcissist can find understanding and relief in these pages.

I really liked Surrounded by Narcissists. I have read some of Erikson’s work in the past, and I am a fan of his DISC system. It has helped me understand my own behaviors as well as the people around me, and I think that’s made me a more thoughtful person. And as someone who has felt vulnerable to manipulative people in the past, I loved how specific Erikson was in giving advice in dealing with narcissists. I think this is a fantastic book for anyone who needs to find a way out of a bad relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a work thing. He gets it, he has thought long and hard about what to do about it, and he’s sharing all he knows with us. I hate calling books a must-read, but Surrounded by Narcissists just may be a must-read in today’s culture.

Egalleys for Surrounded by Narcissists were provided by St. Martin’s Press Essentials through NetGalley, with many thanks.

I desperately wish that SURROUNDED BY NARCISSISTS by Thomas Erikson wasn't such an essential book. I wish that the world was filled with self-aware, wise and wonderful others, but until it is, there is this intelligent, well-crafted book to explain not only what might have landed us in this very strange, strained time, but also what we can do to thrive and shape our lives with clear eyes and warm hearts. This was one of those books that had me nodding agreement, mulling life events, and looking in my own heart to shed light on a pervasive, negative way of being in the world. I received an early copy of this book and these opinions are my own, unbiased thoughts.

I was drawn to this book because of my inability to reasonably cope with the narcissists in my life. I appreciated the practical advice given and was able to better understand the source of this personality trait. I wish that I could get one of my "narcissist" friends to actually read it too!

Thank you to NetGalley for allowing my honest review on Surrounded by a narcissist.

Surrounded by a narcissist explains what a narcissist is, How to determine the characteristics of a narcissist, and How to tell the difference between a narcissist and a Psychopath. It does talk about the Jail system and goes in-depth with what they need and how to satisfy them.

I do think this book can have you looking at people sideways because you are analyzing people base off what you learned.

Very good information

Surrounded by Narcissists How to Effectively Recognize, Avoid, and Defend Yourself Against Toxic People (and Not Lose Your Mind) [The Surrounded by Idiots Series] by Thomas Erikson is an informative read pull of use information. This is a book worth reading, especially if you are dealing with narcissists in your life.

Thomas Erickson continues his Surrounded by Idiots series with an engaging and informative study of narcissistic traits in “Surrounded by Narcissists”. This book helps its readers to recognize narcissistic traits and provides some tips to address them according to their color of human behavior. I especially enjoyed the discussion on well-intentioned actions that can nurture and encourage narcissistic traits.
I give this book 5 stars and recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about these traits and ways to protect their sanity.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Essentials for the DRC of “Surrounded by Narcissists”.

US society, it seems, is a narcissism-generating machine. Largely dealt with in silence, the harm narcissistic people cause in public and private spheres impacts all of us. In any relationship, a narcissist uses very specific strategies to control you, and the conversation about them, so they appear brilliant at all times. A recent scandal involving a specific Hollywood star's behavior towards another person is understandable more completely in this light. Doubtless you can see many traits in the stories the author uses to explain narcissism that adhere to lots of folks you know...but never knew why you had trouble warming up to them.

A word of caution: Don't think you're suddenly a mental-health professional and run around diagnosing others. They won't like it, and it will bite you hard. The author is careful, unsurprisingly since his brand is as a communicator, to state that he is synthesizing research and presenting conclusions based on data, not on his mental-health expertise.

Surrounded by Narcissists by Thomas Erikson
Published: June 21, 2022
St. Martin’s Essentials
Pages: 306
Genre: Self-Help, Non-Fiction
KKECReads Rating: 4/5
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.

Thomas Erikson is a motivator, author, and public speaker. His book Surrounded by Idiots is one of the world’s best-selling non-fiction books and has been translated into over 40 languages. His way of sharing his knowledge with his readers is by using specific storytelling and lots of humor. To achieve new skills should be easy. Therefore, he does not write in a way packed with numbers and details, but rather in a way that will make the reader say: Ah! I recognize that! Thomas has devoted close to 30 years of his career to helping people communicate with each other. Along the way, he´s developed practical and functional tools that facilitate professional and private life. Thomas believes in the importance of a higher understanding of others to decrease the number of unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts in a relationship or at work.

“If you don’t know which problem you’re supposed to be solving, you won’t even see any need for a solution.”

Thomas Erikson takes a deep dive into narcissism and a lot of the causes and effects relating to narcissism.

The statistics were staggering, and the examples provided were fascinating and terrifying. The research was very well done and thorough, and while Thomas Erikson is not a doctor, he has done the work to provide the facts.

I found the examples and scenarios so interesting. It’s wild because as I was reading these chapters, there would be individuals who would flash into my mind with various explanations.

I found using the fictional Linda to explain the spectrum of narcissism helpful. Overall, I found this book hard to put down. It is well written and easy to understand.

I enjoyed how there were pieces of Erikson’s previous text, Surrounded by Psychopaths, mentioned. After reading the thorough, well-presented, and written to be a valuable tool for those dealing with a narcissist on any level; I may have to read the rest of Erikson’s books.