I am not sure this needed to be a book. There is good advice in here but it really seems intuitive to me--or something that could have been better shared in a short form piece like a magazine article.

I really appreciated reading this book. This is a very interesting reflection on gender norms that incited a lot of conversations in my household ! Might get a copy to keep in my shelves at home, for future reference.

I recommend this to everyone whether you're in a partnership or not!

This was the most inclusive discussion around gender norms I have been exposed to with great examples from a diverse group of people. Includes talk about how to improve household management, raise children outside of gender norms, and improve gendered behavior in the workplace. Worth a read!

Thanks to Netgalley, St. Martin’s Press and Macmillan Audio for the ARC/audio ARC of this!

The author took on such an interesting project here, redefining archetypes and expectations - and then using the Equal Partner definition to go out an interview men who are getting things right when it comes to gender roles in the family/home. I really enjoyed hearing them talk about their relationships and how they function, and I think it could inspire other men (or partners of any gender who are not stepping up to be an equal partner) without making them feel bad about themselves. I especially found the ideas for raising children to be eventual competent adults and someone’s potential Equal Partner to be very useful and while maybe not my natural instinct also not too hard to begin implementing - especially the idea of teaching children of all genders to be “Noticers”

Mangino offers an important reframing to the typical "mother/woman" blame approach that requires more from overtaxed wives/mothers. Mangino offers a comprehensive overview of important gender concepts that will certainly help the novice but does not feel onerous for more experienced readers. What is most critical, however, is the "nuts and bolts" approach. Theory is important, but few books offer the "how to" that is often needed when implementing deep cultural exchange. This takes shape in personal stories, excellent real life scenarios with explicit dialogue suggestions, and a phenomenal set of questions to ask a co-parent before embarking on parenthood a first or second time. I truly wish I had those questions in my back pocket before having children. This is the type of instruction that is immensely helpful as folks aim to re-think traditional gender norms and parenting dynamics.

This would be a good book for people new to relationships and just getting established. It's not really aimed at those who understand gender roles and how to break them, or those who have the ability to hire out responsibilities and take back their time, whether a man or a woman.

Side note: Telling me that I have to mind my nanny's or housekeeper's caregiving responsibilities because SHE is trying to balance a lot? They can certainly manage their own time without my interference as an employer.... (For the record, our current housekeeper is a man, and he's far better than any woman who has come before him.)

Side note #2: If anyone says "how do you do it all," always always share if you have help! Cleaning service, lawn service, etc.

Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the ARC.

To be completely honest, I commend Mangino for the effort. The attempt to write this type of book, delineating "Male roles" from "Female roles" while at the same time recognizing the non-binary nature of gender in 2022, I give her credit. However, I don't know if I'm not in the right place to read this right now, or if it will ever be a book I would look forward to reading, but I could only get through about a third of it before I gave up and skimmed the rest. I'm not sure who the target audience for this book is. If it's the people in the "Male role" that need to work harder to be Equal Partners, then that's not me. And it's not a book I could recommend to an unequal partner as I can imagine the defensiveness and drama that would ensue. If it's supposed to be for someone who would qualify as the "Female role" in their household, I honestly don't know how the reminders about the inequalities they face, nor the lovely stories of the perfect equal partners that they are not in relationship with are very helpful. It was honestly pretty discouraging. Also, the author makes a great effort to point out the non-binary gender situation, but as the book progresses, uses the structure of "Zack identifies as white" but does not say how the person identifies in their gender. I find that very weird, and the "identifies as white" thing resonates strongly of a Rachel Dolezal vibe, which I'm not into. I thought we identified as our gender, but we are our race? Confusing and much more confusing why the gender isn't mentioned in a book about... gender roles.

A fantastic read! I read this as a companion piece to the semi-source materials “All the Rage” and “Fair Play” and consider it an exceptional addition to the body of research on equitable relationships. While this book does a great job of outlining the social and cultural phenomena that lead to labor imbalances in relationships, it goes a vital step further and provides a “workbook” for readers to apply what they have learned. This aspect is especially helpful in that it creates space for fixing the labor imbalance in ways where that work isn't just another task to add to the Female Role’s to-do list.

The more personal narratives about study participants also helped highlight the many ways that equity can be achieved, though I would love to see follow up on these participants. A secondary phase of this movement for relationship equity is to see if taking on the Female Role impacts the economic prospects of people coded as men as it does for those coded as women. Do they suffer during workforce re-entry issues/lose promotions/earn reduced pay over a career the same way that women do? This seems like the next step in the process of taking equitable individual partnerships and translating that to cultural norms that prioritize equity…but I do digress.

In short, this is a great book for looking at the cultural norms of labor division, evaluating the labor divide in our own homes and for formulating a pathway forwards. A solid read for anyone in a relationship, or looking to enter one.

I thought this book was awesome. It’s informative and straightforward about what gendered roles look like in a home and offers strategies to set up a new or established relationship for success. A book I wish I had when I was first starting to date!