THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US by Aaron H. Aceves tells a coming of age, sexual exploration, and romantic story with a lot of humor and heartfelt sincerity. It hits on some heavy topics with refreshing bluntness. The main character does use some flippant terms, as most teenagers would, to describe his mental health struggles with depression and anxiety but ultimately handles them responsibly. Meanwhile, his sexual experiences are described, not in vivid detail, but in frank terms and are not handled entirely responsibly but true to reality. Young readers should go into this book knowing that the characters are not meant to be role models, but they're rendered with beautiful depth and care. It's a great read!

I've been looking forward to This is Why They Hate Us since it came across my Twitter page. I loved Quique's character narration. The way her conveys his own life to us. At the same time, I loved how into his feelings were - the good and the bad. The ways he struggles to open up and get help, but also his longing. All the people who pull us into different directions. The people we become around others.

That feeling. Of changing who we are, of our moods and lives being so dependent on our reactionary emotions? That got me. How our entire day can be changed that way, but also how it shouldn't be that way to healthily cope with relationships and people. In This is Why They Hate Us Quique has to navigate his bisexual identity and feelings for others. How does one gauge interest if you're unsure if it's safe to do so?

I love this book so much. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how YA characters need to be allowed to make terrible mistakes because that’s just how teenagers are, and boy, does Aaron H. Aceves not shy away from that. Quique is extremely messy, but he’s just trying his best, and with the help of his friends and family, he’s able to learn and grow and become happier, and I love that for him. The exploration of mental health in this book was well-needed—I appreciate when novels show characters going to therapy and talking through their issues. This book is absolutely not to miss!

Ever since I heard about this book, I was so excited to read it! However, after reading it and enjoying it for the most part, I found that the things that I enjoyed and the things that irritated me were about even, which left me with mixed feelings. A coming-of-age story, This Is Why They Hate Us balances first loves and friendships while navigating mental health struggles and becoming comfortable with yourself.

Enrique has known he’s bisexual for years although his best friend Fabiola, who is also bi, is the only other person who knows. This summer, he’s determined to get over Saleem, the friend he has been in love with all year but doesn’t think likes guys, by pursuing the other guys in his life that he’s been getting vibes from: Tyler, the jock who gives off homoerotic energy; Ziggy, the class president Quique keeps running into; and Manny, the casual acquaintance he hangs out with sometimes.

The writing in this book really put in Quique’s head. Since the entire story is his inner monologue, you follow the overthinking that leads to his spiraling. His voice was very clear from the very beginning. I also liked the character’s closest to Quique, including his best friend Fabiola and Saleem. They’re both always there for him although in different ways; Fabiola listens and relates to his bisexuality and love life. Saleem, on the other hand, talks Quique through some of his dark moods.

The issue that Quique really struggles with, and one that’s called out in the narrative, is that he separates himself and acts differently depending on the people he’s with. Throughout the story, he realizes that it’s exhausting to never get to be his full self with everyone he loves. I liked that he learns that he doesn’t always have to hide himself from the people who have and will always support him.

I also liked reading about his relationship with his parents. Quique and his family aren’t particularly religious, but both of his parents grew up with very traditional beliefs. Even though they’ve always wanted to do the best by him, including taking him to a therapist after he confessed about having a mental breakdown, he’s afraid of how they’d react if they found out he also likes guys. However, after he comes out to both of them, they’re supportive, even if they have to overcome their residual beliefs. It’s a learning process for all of them, but I liked that Quique had one less thing to worry about.

All this being said, though, my real issue with this book stems from the fact that I think a lot of it could’ve been cut out or shortened. I understand that Quique has anxiety and overthinks things constantly, which we see in the writing as I talked about before, but there are several pages of inner monologue about topics that take you out of the story and ultimately don’t add anything at all. There are many instances of this, but the best example I can use is that at one point, he goes to the movies with his mother and then spends 3 full pages worrying about a possible armed shooter instance.

I don’t mean to downplay the very real worries that many people have, especially someone with anxiety, but this felt like such a non sequitur to the story. As I mentioned before, the writing itself already establishes very well that Quique overthinks and has intrusive thoughts. I’m typically not one to complain about the inclusion of such issues but the many occurrences of this kind of thing were so prevalent throughout the story that I couldn’t overlook them.

As for the romance, it wasn’t fully what I was anticipating, not that that’s anything against the book. I just want to clarify that this isn’t that lighthearted a story in case you were anticipating one. The other three “prospects” in this story weren’t really romantic prospects so much as people he could have a physical relationship with. Which is fine! I just don’t want people to think this is a super romance heavy book.

I did like Quique’s relationship with Saleem though. He tries to spend time away from him for a bit since he doesn’t think he can keep his feelings hidden anymore. When they are together, however, it’s clear that Saleem is very patient and caring and he wants the best for Quique no matter what. I shouldn’t spoil the ending but I think it’s enough to say that this book ends happily for both of them.

Overall, This Is Why They Hate Us was a strong debut novel that tackles the many difficulties of being a teenager discovering yourself. I enjoyed most of the story, especially the characters and their clear love and support for each other. While some aspects of the story did irritate me and leave me with mixed feelings for the book overall, I think many other people will enjoy This Is Why They Hate Us, especially if they enjoy bisexual coming-of-age stories.

This Is Why They Hate Us is an important, emotional and funny book. First off, this cover is stunning. It's the colors of the bisexual flag, our main character is bisexual. While the main character only pursues male relationships in this book, it's explained why. There's four love interests, I didn't really care for three of them, just for Saleem. This book had a lot of POC representation, and Saleem is Palestinian and Muslim. This book also brought up the Palestine/Israel conflict. My heart really hurt for Saleem many times in this book. This is the first time I've seen that discussed in YA, and it is something that needs to be talked about way more. This book was also very sex positive, something else we need more of in YA. This book was really funny, especially with the dating app. I also loved the relationship Enrique had with his parents. Recommend to all my YA LGBT+ friends!

ok this was actually so good!! however id on't think it should be marketed as "self-discovery"/"coming of age" because it's more of a romance, the mc already knows he's bi! otherwise this was really gritty and heart-wrenching, highly recommend.

So many parts of this book just absolutely read me to filth. The main character is bisexual, in love with his best friend, using others as distractions from his said best friend, and has an array of mental health issues. This isn't a story of self discovery; Quique knows that he's bi before the book begins and the story focuses more on his relationship to his sexuality, coming out to those which he's scared to, and his journey with coupling his mental health struggles with his need to feel validated and loved by others.

There were some (albeit rare) instances in this book where the writing felt very unrealistic to the way teens speak, which took me out of the story a bit, though I would say this author does a better job than most YA writers on that front. There were also moments in this story in which the writing quality wasn't the /best/, which only stood out because the rest of the story had really good writing. For instance, there were a couple times when the setting wasn't super clear, so I couldn't paint the best picture in my mind while reading and my timeline was a bit confused. Still, I want to emphasize that the story was so totally awesome that I don't want my small criticisms to discourage anybody from reading this book.

I also wished the book was longer, because the pacing felt a bit rushed at times--though that could just be me not wanting the book to be over because I related to so many parts. This book helped me discover parts of myself that I hadn't been able to name, especially on the mental health/relationships front, and I didn't want it to end lol! Aceves read me to filth and I just wanted him to KEEP reading me, basically.

Since I am an ownvoices bisexual reviewer, I would be amiss if I didn't mention it! I thought the author did a wonderful job. The main character only romantically pursues other boys, though the reason for that is discussed and reflected upon often, and I could totally relate to the main characters reasons. I also enjoyed the way Quique found mentor figures and how he turned to queer fiction. His connection to one queer book in particular (CMBYN but BASHING OCCURS. That book is not romanticized in this story.) was so beautifully written and /god/ I just related to it so MUCH, such an important moment to occur in this story.

I'm sorry this review was so incoherent, hopefully people understand the jist of what I'm saying. While I wish this book was so much longer, I still really loved it. Quique was such a relatable character and the author felt so authentic not only in the way sexuality was discussed but also just writing for the Gen-Z canon. I'm feeling a bit itchy after finishing just because i want so much more lol, but that's probably a good thing? WRITE A SEQUEL PLEASEEEEEEEEEE

3.75ish stars

I am trying to think of something I didn't like about this book and am coming up empty. Everything about it was so WONDERFUL. I don't know how to properly put all my emotions from reading this into words. I loved this book. So much. It is very raw and emotional and hopeful. Somehow, these characters were able to worm themselves into my heart and make me want to laugh, cry, and scream all at once. What I loved most about this book is how true it felt. All of it was so genuine. The characters were quite messy and flawed, but so relatable. Quique, especially, was a character I saw so much of myself in, it was scary. I don't often relate to a character quite THIS much and so reading this was a strange and rewarding experience. It was like being in someone else's mind that's somehow a mirror of my own. Aceves captured so many things I felt and explained my own feelings better than I could and it was so wild to read this and keep thinking "oh my gosh this is me" throughout. This book is so important and desperately needed. Endlessly thankful to Aceves for writing it.

FLEW through this excellent, incredible book. Tightly written, earnest, laugh-out-loud funny at several parts—one of the best YA books I've read in ages.