I've read many, many books about relationships, so I thought I'd heard it all until reading this book. Eric Barker takes many of the things relationship experts and couples counselors tell you and flip them on their head: What's *really* the cause of most divorces? How can you tell when your partner's lying? Barker's got advice for us all, whether we want to enhance our romantic relationships or our platonic ones.

Entertaining book with valuable ideas to ponder about relating to others. I would read more by this author.

Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for the ARC. This was such an interesting read about all types of human relationships by looking at the science. I will keep thinking abut many ideas presented through the research, examples and stories. The one that was new to me and I will keep pondering was the placebo story. If one is curious and open to rethinking what one thought they knew, this book will definitely shift your perspective on how you see the world.

PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS by Eric Barker is subtitled "The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships is (Mostly) Wrong." Blogger Eric Barker, who has written previously about work and success in Barking Up the Wrong Tree, adopts a humorous approach to investigating current research about relationships. He begins with a short vignette about hostage negotiation and moves on to a section on judging other people. Each chapter begins with a memorable story (e.g., Mrs. Sherlock Holmes) and concludes with a transition (e.g., "the primary thing we have to contend with is our own cognitive biases. ...") to the next. He focuses on 4 main questions: Can you judge a book by its cover? Is a friend in need a friend indeed? Does love conquer all? And, Is no man an island? Barker does an excellent job of commenting on concepts like loneliness, popularity, technology versus face-to-face interactions, cooperation, belonging, to name just a few. Library Journal aptly describes PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS as a "humorous, science-based exploration of human relationships and what makes them last." Students and readers in general will find it to be an enjoyable, informative read. I definitely recommend Barker's new title, especially to our Psychology teachers.

Blog link: https://bakadesuyo.com/

Not all books so educational as this one about relationships are fun. But Eric Barker has managed to write both an informative and entertaining book all at once.

I highly recommend this book for the surprising things you'll learn (and unlearn) from Barker's research on relationships of all sorts. It's written in a very relational and easy-to-read format. And since everybody has to deal with people, we all can utilize the information that Barker shares.

Here are a few quotes:

"Pretty much every form of marriage therapy recommends active listening during conflict. I go back to my hotel and double-check. And I’m right. It is recommended by everyone . . . It just doesn’t work."

"If you think of your happiest moments, they will be about people. The most painful moments will too. Our relationships to others make or break our lives."

"Whatever you think is going on in your spouse’s head, two thirds of the time, you’re wrong. Yet here’s the truly funny part: we think we’re awesome at reading others."

"Truth be told, if you wanted to focus on something, skip body language and laser focus on their speech. When we can hear someone but not see them, empathic ability declines only about 4 percent. When we can see someone but not hear them, the drop-off is a whopping 54 percent. Pay less attention to whether they cross their legs and more attention to when their voice changes."

"Work by Gallup found that 70 percent of marital satisfaction is due to the couple’s friendship. Tom Rath says it’s five times as critical to a good marriage as physical intimacy."

As a result of reading this book, I'll be making changes for the better in my relationships. When we know better, we do better. And Barker is showing us what to know better. It's now up to me to do better.

My thanks to NetGalley and HarperOne for the review copy of this book.

This was not what I expecting, but it was OK. I liked the light hearted tone, and stories. But it I did not find it particularly helpful. I'm sure other will find it useful.

Thanks very much for the free review copy!

I have read and loved Eric Barker's blog for years, so I was thrilled to get his new book, examining the science of relationships and proving / disproving common advice. It did not disappoint! So many insights, but written in a very digestible and easy to use format. Just as with his blog, he sums each chapter up with a list of key takeaways, which is really helpful for processing the information you learned and actually putting it to use. Although I already knew some of the studies cited, Barker brought them together in a new way, and I appreciated that he takes you on the learning journey with him by pointing out different perspectives even when they don't agree with each other. I didn't remember any of the content from the blog, so it seems to be all new, which was refreshing for a blog-writer-turned-book-author, and Barker made sure each chapter led into the next ("now that we've talked about ABC, let's go on to explore DEF"), which helped keep it engaging. Definitely recommend!

Before I even hit the 10% mark, I thought, "Right now I am not very engaged with this book." Eric Barker wrote a great book previously, so I really wanted to see what he had to say about human relationships. Communities matter a lot. While he manages to surprise the reader again and again, it was unpleasant to read.

I have a psychology degree, so I have been introduced to some of the research Eric draws upon. And I just found the reading experience consistently unpleasantly jarring. I received a review copy from NetGalley and have left my opinion.