I read KC Davis’ self published How to Keep House While Drowning in January 2021 and since then I have recommended it to many many people and bought it for a few. I was delighted to see that Davis’ book is being republished by a Simon & Schuster imprint, Simon Element. I hope it gets in the hands of more people. I consider this an essential book.

I value this book on several levels. One: my ability to stay on top of multiple care tasks a day is a challenge at the best of times, and it diminishes when my mental health challenges loom larger. KC Davis outlines practical strategies for getting done what needs to get done and I find that very useful when I usually do three things, but can only do one.

Two: I work with clients who struggle with care tasks to varying degrees. Years ago I started working with a teen who was struggling to finish high school. Her mother thought that it would be easier for her to get her homework done if her room was clean and organized. I spent half an hour with the teen talking about the piles in her room and how she functioned with them. It was all organized and more importantly, because everything was out where she could see it, she didn’t forget it’s existence. Later she took her mother on a tour and explained the organizational flow of what her mother saw as mess. The compromise was no dirty dishes or open food in the room for more than 24 hours and her mom would stop fighting about the mess. The fighting and stress around conflict was a bigger barrier to getting homework done than the mess itself.

Three: the kindness! Oh, the kindness! Shame is a terrible way to motivate yourself or anyone else. Davis encourages us to reframe tasks from obligations to kindnesses. She also encourages us to jettison the idea of the right way to do something and honor the way that works for us. She reiterates often through the book that what works for others may not work for you. I clean up my kitchen before I go to bed, not because I should, but as a kindness to my morning self. At a minimum, I make sure the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher and I have space to make coffee. I have had people say, wouldn’t it be easier and faster to clean up right after dinner? Sure, but my brain is uninterested in cleaning right after I eat.

I should note that I am white and reasonably able bodied. My barriers to cleaning and organizing are mental health and executive function. I also don’t have the racialized notions of cleanliness layered on top of my particular cultural notions about cleanliness. I appreciated that in this expanded edition, Davis reaches out to a few people (including Black disability activist Imani Barbarin!) to make sure the book is as inclusive as she could make it.

How to keep house while drowning is still a short, easy read. It may not give you the keys to the clean house of your dreams, but it will give you some keys to caring for yourself.

I received this as an advance reader copy from Simon Element via NetGalley. My opinions are my own.

Books on organizing and cleaning are popular with out patrons, so I snagged this ARC when it popped up. This is easily the kindest, most compassionate, and most realistic book I've come across on the topic of dealing with mess and clutter. I've bought this for my library collection, and have a copy on order to gift to a friend who struggles with this and is always looking for good advice.

I absolutely loved this book. I loke that it was written specifically with neurodivergent people in mind which makes it a littke easier for to follow for someone like me with anxiety. It gives practical advice without making you feel like it is unrealistic to achieve. I will definitely be reaching for this book any time my mess is out of control.

As I’m writing this review, the dishes aren’t done, there is laundry piled in every room of my house, and don’t even get me started on the state of the kids’ playroom. But it’s all okay. None of this is a failure on my behalf, and How to Keep House While Drowning helped me immensely in my perception of that.

This is not one of those normal self-help books that gives you ways to organize your stuff into the perfectly functioning, spotless house. Davis is clearly one of us. She is not only a licensed counselor, but struggles with executive functioning. She had a toddler and an infant during the pandemic. How does she do it? Well, this book lays out her “secret.”

Well, what is her secret? Is her house spotless? Is she a cleaning organizing guru? No!! She lets the laundry pile up. She has dirty dishes on the counter. She struggles to brush her teeth. But you know what is different for her? She has rid herself of the guilt associated with not completing these tasks. Her main message through the book, one that I have been repeating over and over since reading it is that care tasks (like cleaning) are morally neutral. You are not a bad person or a failure for not doing them.

Taking this message, that care tasks are morally neutral, Davis expands the thought exercise to all aspects of keeping a house and existing as a person. Realizing that self-worth is not tied to the appearance of your house is a huge step in mental health. And that is what she is advocating, a healthy mind in approaching living.

This book is relatively short and easy to work through in a few sittings, even with a busy schedule. The chapters are bite sized and tackle different elements of the home. (For example, the chapter on cleaning the car is simply: I don’t clean my car.) I have read several self-help books of a similar vein, but nothing has ever stuck before. I’m encouraged by this book and technique, and hope this time something will be different going forward. Part of that is that it entails a frame of mind and a way of thinking instead of actions (though there are some action steps included as well for those that like that), I’m hoping for long term change. Fad cleaning and organizing tend to drop off with energy and motivation level, but this method does not require motivation or energy. I’ll take it.

*I would like to thank the publisher, author, and NetGalley for providing an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*

So I am not a huge how to or self help book reader, but I saw this book and thought This is what I need being a SAHM to 4 little kids.

But I was still skeptical... I mean could this book really help me? So I decide I will get through one chapter... Next thing I know I am almost halfway through the book. It is such a short and easy read that really was enjoyable to read

This book is not a cleaning schedule or a giant to do list for your home. It has practical ways of cleaning especially when you don't want to, which for me is honestly most of the time.

5/5 for this book!
#NetGalley #howtokeephousewhiledrowning

How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis was the book I needed to read…and maybe you do too. Davis is a licensed therapist who suffered from postpartum after having her second child during the start of the pandemic. She is also a former addict and has ADHD. The book is not so much about the right way of keeping your house orderly, but rather giving yourself permission to find systems that work for you…even if that means never folding the laundry. She developed the book with neurodivergents in mind and acknowledges her privilege by having other experts chime in where needed. Chapters are short but impactful. Mental health is at the forefront of the book. Sometimes surviving and making it to tomorrow is more important than doing the dishes. If your sink is full of dirty dishes, congratulations, you feed yourself and your family! #netgalley #April2022

I'm 6 months postpartum with baby # 2, have postpartum depression and have a serious dislike for laundry. Reading this book by K.C. Davis has been a game changer. Her philosophy of you don't work for your house, your house works for you left me thinking how very true that is. Why do we need to have things in order around the house based on Social norms of what's expected instead of how it can help to better serve us? This was a quick and easy read that I recommend to anyone postpartum, with depression, with chronic health issues or just has a serious dislike for certain household tasks.

I suffer from anxiety and at times it’s debilitating. This book is a lifesaver. It teaches you had a manage household tasks when it feels overwhelming. Highly recommend!

As a Nuerodivergent person married to a Nuerodivergent person with two neurodivergent kids in a small apartment during a pandemic, this book was very necessary. Trust me. Full of hacks as well as how to deal with shame messages and self care.

I am that rare autistic who doesn’t typically struggle with executive functioning skills. However, I DO struggle with what Davis calls assigning morality and shame to care tasks.

I love Davis’s TikTok videos: she is upfront and unafraid about calling a spade a spade, and she does that in this book, too. And, even better, this book is written to be neurodivergent-friendly. I rarely am able to finish nonfiction books (give me a story any day!), but I read this in two sittings.

It is incredibly down-to-earth and will be incredibly helpful for so many people who see Rachel Hollis and Marie Alonso and are frustrated at how perfect their lives look in the pictures while the readers’ own lives never seem to live up to the guidelines in the self-help books. But, your life can look like Davis’s. This book sets you up for success AND self-compassion.