Not Too Old for That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging by Vicki Larson

To be fair, I feel like I need to acknowledge that I don’t think I’m the target audience for this one. I expected this to be a reflection on ageism, including research on how women’s disadvantages that come from existing in a patriarchy tend to compound over time. And, it does do that—but it’s written more like a self-help book for mid-to-old aged women.

My main complaint is the inconsistent tone. It seems unable to decide between total commitment to addressing older women directly vs. suggestions for preparing for old age. The author is heavy-handed with advice based on anecdotal evidence, but does include some research. The author seems to both excuse and condemn women’s clinging onto their youth in a way that left me occasionally confused.

However, the book covers interesting topics ranging from how women essentially turn invisible as they age, to myths about post-menopausal women and their sex drives, to medical negligence towards menopause, to financial wellness. What the book does well is anticipate how these attitudes have space for change given the trajectory of women making up more than half the population in the future as well as less women having children. Eventually, treating older women as invisible has to change, right?

My favorite part was on financial literacy, explaining how straight women have come to so often defer to their male partners for investing and growing their wealth. I’ve never felt more encouraged to stay vigilant over my own finances.

Overall, I can’t say I’d recommend this to my peers (20s-30s), but I do think it would make a good gift for the older women in your life! I suspect it would be a more meaningful read for someone older, who can more directly relate to the author’s stories.

📖: (3/5) ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm sure this book will be a huge hit with aging middle class and upper class white women. The author is in her 60's and has suddenly realized that all those things she thought about old people all these years are now what people are thinking about her, and suddenly she doesn't like them. The book is written in exactly the same tone as every other professional white woman author book like this, such as Why We Can't Sleep (another book that was gobbled up by their peer group and left me nonplussed). The formula is to do a bunch of research so you can quote all kinds of data, quote a bunch of other upper class women's books, and toss in personal anecdotes. Also, pay lots of lip service to marginalized women in an othering, they have it so much tougher even than I do, I'm so progressive for acknowledging this kind of way. It's exceptionally well written if you like that formula.

Chapters include finances, sex, friendships, etc. We are supposed to be shocked that older women have sex. We get lots of facts and figures about how many do, how many haven't for years, how much sex lesbian women have, etc. The whole thing felt like a very long term paper to me, or like something that should have been an article but was stretched out to become a book that the next upper middle class professional white woman author will quote in her book.

I didn't really learn anything new or feel inspired in any way. Larson tells us a lot about how older women will soon outnumber young ones and we're going to rewrite the rules because it's not fair how older women are seen in our society. I would be much more impressed if she'd written it before she was considered old herself. And ultimately, she didn't really say anything that made me feel any more informed or optimistic.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.

I had really hoped to learn something from this book but it is so poorly written that it is next to impossible to figure out what she is trying to say.