Many thanks to Net Galley and Light Messages Publishing for an ARC of this book in exchange for a review.
A beautifully written account of a man who has Parkinson’s but is a carer for his elderly mother for 10 years. His mum is 96 when he starts this journey and she lives to be 105. She is a wonderful character full of life and wants to continue living.

This is a heartfelt read, full of emotions, difficult decisions, Love is felt in this story every day, the authors love for his mother, the professional woman who help him with her care, everyone’s commitment.
There are topics which we often don’t want to think or talk about. A thought provoking read.

This was a moving account of grief that felt both relatable and unique. Confronting your own deterioration alongside the slow loss of a parent was a stand out perspective that felt fresh. I would recommend this book to anyone in mid-life.

This was a hard book to read, probably because just four months have passed after the death of my father, who was bedridden for a long time.
Although my mother was his primary caregiver, my brother and I were actively involved in almost all aspects of his care. Like Iverson, my mother and I had to deal with our medical problems.
My father did not have dementia. He was 20 years younger than Iverson’s mother. Also, we did not seek or receive any outside help, financial or otherwise.
Regardless of the differences, we also faced many challenges, underwent many changes, and experienced a gamut of emotions. I could relate to Iverson’s account. It is sensitive, wise, humble, and honest.
I liked the way he describes the women caregivers who helped take care of his mother. His references to the caregiving situation may pertain to the US. However, it makes you think more seriously about it, especially given the rise in the geriatric population the world over.

WINTER STARS is an eloquently written and profoundly moving intimate memoir of the caregiving from an aging son and an elderly mother's final life journey. I enjoyed it immensely.

A busy, successful broadcast journalist recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, Dave Iverson decided to do something he'd never quite imagined. Within the pages of this stunning debut memoir, the author shines!

WINTER STARS is a moving story of his ten-year caregiving journey. At the age of 59, he moved in to take care of his 95-year-old mom. She ultimately lived to be 105 years old.

Dave's father had passed away with Parkinson's, and his brother was diagnosed and himself. As a baby boomer, he knew he could not put his mother in a home. Until age 96, Adelaide lived in her house independently since the 1950s and after her husband passed. She was very active and lived life to the fullest.

However, at age 96, when she came down with pneumonia, she decided to cut up her driver's license. She thought it was time, which gave her control of the situation. Adelaide did not want to die.

Adelaide thought there were two of herself.
The pretty and smart one who knows how to do things.
Then there's the bad side—the one who's ugly and stupid and can't do anything.
At times she does not know which one is present.

At age 101, she began the early stages of dementia. She had been a force, a former teacher, devoted spouse, mother of three, an avid reacher, a sports fan, a loyal friend, and a powerhouse volunteer. When he decided to move in, he did not know many things about being a caregiver. He never expected to be for an entire decade before her passing at age 105.

TRIBUTE: As the author describes in this beautiful memoir, this journey affected him, humbled him, and reoriented him more than any other experience in his life. He also gives tribute to the remarkable women who accompanied him on this journey and those who changed his life and his mom's.

Like many of us who have been down this road with our aging parents and as baby boomers (myself),—we are thinking of our end of life as well. How do we want to be cared for when we no longer can on our own? Especially for those of us who are single and live alone and grown children are many states away with lives of their own.

CAREGIVING: Caregiving involves doing things you never imagined. There are decisions to make about home health care, insurance, cost, Medicare, skilled nursing, hospice, nursing assistants, plus the daily challengings of caring for an elder similar to a young child. But changing diapers for an adult mom, with trips to the bathroom, dressing, doctor visits, medications, feeding are all part of the daily tasks and cooking and cleaning. There is so much to learn and it often feels like a crash course.

At the same time, try your best to be patient with lack of sleep while up multiple times during the night while still working with a full-time career, a life, and a disease of your own. With ten years of this, there are financial burdens, loans, and other considerations.

Adelaide had "staying" power. Each time she got an infection, she seemed to bounce back. But felt trapped and hated who she was becoming. No longer the person she was before. With letters from her husband and other treasure and memories of the past, and outings, Iverson knew he had to have more help. He needed balance to be his best when he was there.

SPECIALIZED ASSISTANCE:I loved the two generous women who helped care for his mom, Eileen and Sinai. If we all had two remarkable women like this at the end of our lives. Even one undergoing cancer treatments of her own was always there. And the help of hospice nurse Chris and others. These two women turned the old house into a home once more.

LIFE SUPPORT: As time goes on, there are also considerations about when to stop care. She did not want life support, but they still provided medications to help extend her life and quality of life. There always seemed to be more chapters.

With raw emotions, Iverson talks honestly of the struggles and decisions. His outlet was his work and his running.

"Running gives you the illusion that you're in charge of your body until your body lets you know otherwise. Caregiving, on the other hand, never offers that fantasy. Instead, it made me feel like I was driving a car that was careening down the highway with my seatbelt unbuckled and someone next to me grabbing at the steering wheel. Sometimes I wasn't even sure I was in the front seat."


You choose how to respond to certain challenges. The two women, Eileen and Sinai showed him caregiving was an exercise in acceptance. These two women who were immigrants taught Iverson that sometimes it's America's newest arrivals who offer the comforting embrace. At his lowest, the two provided him with a safe harbor.

A beautiful memoir told with compassion and love. I especially love the quotes at different ages and stages from Adelaide and the honest words of the son. I adored the ending with both women there to the end and even the special outfit tunic and pants that the women had specially made for her and the way they cleaned and dressed her with special care before the hearse arrived, allowing the family time with her. Who could ask for anything more?

Admirable, Dave Iverson's unselfish care for his mom. I cannot see either of my grown sons spending a weekend taking care of me, much less putting their life on hold and doing this for 10 years. A fortunate mom to have a son so caring. For this reason, I hope I can afford an end-of-life Doula!

I highly recommend this book! A fitting title and eloquently written. We all want to die with dignity and hopefully pain-free in an environment with people who genuinely care for you and give you the personalized attention that you can be honest with until the end. Our healthcare is not cut out to give this specialized care as to why so many have changed the plans for their loved ones.

NOTE: All royalties from the sale of Winter Stars go to support: The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research, Dance for PD, and Avenidas, a San Francisco Bay Area Organization providing caregiver support.

DEDICATION: The book is dedicated to his mother, Adelaide, caregivers, Eileen and Sinai; and his wife, Lynn.

For the vast number of families confronting —or will soon face—a caregiving journey, Winter Stars offers an intimate, unvarnished portrait of the challenges, choices, and life lessons.

Also prior to reading WINTER STARS, I read an arc of the beautifully moving novel by Jessica Strawser also out today, March 22nd, THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW.

THE CAREGIVERS in Winter Stars reminded me so much of the End-of-Life Doula, Nova in Jessica's book. I definitely want a Doula. I think they are so special and if you cannot find an Eileen and Sinai, or a caring son, you will most definitely want a Doulas like Nova. I highly recommend both these books. One non-fiction and one fictional; however, they both highlight end-of-life journeys with one older and one younger.

A special thank you to Light Messages Publishing and NetGalley for a digital ARC. Thank you for the opportunity. I also purchased the hardcover copy for my home library.

Blog Review Posted @ www.JudithDCollins
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5 Stars
Pub Date: March 22, 2022
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