Unfortunately this wasn't quite the right book for me. It was interesting to start, but I quickly lost interest and ended up DNFing. Thanks for giving me a chance to read it, Netgalley and the publisher.

This wasn't for me. I found I just wasn't that interested in the author's experiences. Others may enjoy.

A coming of age memoir, this book sucked me in from page one, when the author's mother calls her a "putana" or whore. I had jumped to read this book after coming across the summary, as I was also a virgin by choice long after most of the people I knew, into my twenties as well. Without giving away spoilers or delving too deep into DelVecchio's reasoning in her decision to not have sex, one of my favorite things about this book was DelVecchio's exploration, via personal experience, into the multitude of reasons a woman may choose not to have sex - all the while, not judging those that make different decisions. Beyond the focus on sexuality and growing into adulthood, this memoir also touched on the topics of relationships with abusive parents and adoption. Overall, an engaging memoir, both for those who have had similar experiences and for those that may not understand DelVecchio's experiences or some of her decisions.

This is such a wonderfully written story. I can’t believe this is a non-fiction. I just breezed through this is one sitting!

This memoir follows Kathy, who is a virgin in her twenties, as she takes us into her world while she navigates between understanding the difference between lust and love. While staying true to her beliefs, she is constantly berated by her adoptive mother on what a whore she is. Her distrust is causing Kathy to have a lot of pent up frustrations. Despite that, she still seeks to win her mother’s love and acceptance which was quite heart wrenching to read.

I love that no matter the circumstances, Kathy remains firm in her decision to remain a virgin until she finds true love. She was not swayed or tempted and I really admire her for standing her ground. Kathy longs to be loved for who she is and not for what’s between her legs. Is that really too much to ask? She questioned herself and her decisions constantly when she is berated by her mother and those around her. Kathy had to remind herself that she is control of her body and feelings.

Her mother is truly a piece of work. I don’t understand why she would treat Kathy with such little trust and respect. I felt as confused as Kathy and I can feel her frustrations and defeat in her writing. Her writing is raw and vulnerable that you cannot help but empathise with her. I love that she managed to confront her mother and stand up for herself.

Along the way, Kathy learnt to love herself, understood herself a little better and learnt to deal with social expectations and stereotypes in regards to sex. I was truly rooting for her all they way.

Thank you Netgalley and She Writes Press for the arc.

I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley. It sounded interesting, but it was nothing like what I expected. Although extremely well-written, it was also extremely unpleasant to read.

The memoir tells the story of a young woman named Kathy, or rather, Marina (but no one knows) who is a virgin by choice. She allows this label to define her and wears it defiantly, allowing herself to be offended by anyone and everyone who thinks differently than she does. She goes through dozens and dozens of men, kissing all of them, and from my perspective, leading them on and setting traps for them. The moment one of them wants more, she wants nothing more to do with him. There seems to be nothing that any of them can do to please her, and it got to the point where I was dreading the demise of each relationship because I thought she was totally unreasonable and self-sabotaging.

Her adoptive mother is, in a word, a bitch. She’s rotten to Kathy—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive/negligent. And Kathy wants her mother’s approval so desperately. It’s depressing to read. I really did feel for her, but I also wanted to protect myself. I’m glad that she finally escaped.

There are some great insights and observations about misogyny prevalent in society, and as I said, it was extremely well-written, but I cannot recommend it because it’s so damned unpleasant. I have to give it four stars because of the caliber of writing, but I can’t give it five because I hated it. Nevertheless, there are some quotes I think are worth sharing.

A few of the brief quotes are just so profound, while some are just so cleverly stated.
Kathy thinks her virginity will protect her from the intimacy she fears, but then she realizes “...my virginity is bait, not a boundary.”
Thinking about her mother Ann: “...I wonder why it is Ann who gets to mother me. Why does she get to mis-mother me?”
“Time subtracts the space that separates us.” She says this about her proximity to a boy she likes.
And this one is just so depressing, yet so reflective of what her adoptive mother has created. “That’s what love ends up being: barbed wire that traps and tears and hurts.” I hope she has changed her view on this. I think she has.

Describing one of the boys she dates, Kathy observes, “There is an urgency in his movements, a persistence that takes me off guard and then puts me on guard.”

When she stands up to her mother, she thinks, “She knows I will give in to her, come crawling for forgiveness, be the obedient girl I have served up to her each and every time I find myself invisible in her presence, trapped in the tethered and austere knots of her disapproval like a bug fastened to the sticky webs of a mother-spider awaiting to devour her prey.”
And also regarding her mother: “I take it like a victim because I don’t know what else to do. Because she hasn’t seen me yet, and I know that deep down, she loves me, and one day, she will see me. She shames me because she loves me. She accuses me because she loves me.”

Kathy is an excellent student and an avid learner. She wants to “...eat knowledge in fistfuls without napkins, utensils, or any kind of proper etiquette, licking my finger at the taste of what I have learned.”

When she describes her relationship with John, the longest relationship she has had, and one in which the two of them love one another, she says this, “John and I have been playing a game. I’ve been waiting for him to say the words, and he’s been waiting for me. Neither of us wants to say them. He’s a coward, but I am selfish, willful. I want to force him to break up with me because I know how hard it is for him. Breaking up with a virgin because she’s a virgin. What a cad. I win.”
This was a great description of how some men (and boys) see women, though it is a bit dark: “...I see how guys watch her, and sometimes I have to push them away, disgusted by the arousal I witness them licking off their lips as they fantasize about her—a girl they do not know.”

This sums up the story though. It was never about her virginity. It was about her secrets and trying to find the person who would treat them with care and love her no matter what ugliness lay beneath the surface. “He doesn’t say anything, as if he knows I’ve never told a soul before. That these are virgin words. That he’s the first to receive them. And he waits, holding his breath, ready to cup them in his hands and nurture them like rare gems that have never seen the light before.”

A relatable coming of age story with a sexual discovery undertone. Intriguing read. Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this thought provoking book

i can relate very much to this book. loved it. i am a huge fan of memoirs and marina delvecchio knocked it out of the park

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for sending me an advanced copy of this title in exchange for an honest review.

Full review to come, but the gist of this review is that this book is almost unreadable. It's repetitive stream of consciousness in the worst way. From about 30% on, I just kept wishing the book would end already. Literally took me over a month to read this book because I just didn't care at all.

Updates from my initial thoughts:
Kathy/Marina has an insane "not like other girls" complex. I was *so* frustrated reading this book because it was all about Kathy talking about how she doesn't wear much makeup. And she won't sleep around. And she's just so naturally thin. And she gets all this male attention even though she's sooooo plain and only wears jeans and flannels. I wanted to SCREAM with how annoying I found Kathy and how she simultaneously thinks nothing and everything of herself.

Besides the inanity of our MC, we also have to deal with the repetitive nature of the story as a whole. Like, I'm sorry, but I can only hear about you dating your 7th guy named John for so long. I know that your drink is only one White Russian and that you drink it until your "chin goes numb" when you go dancing. You do not have to tell me 18 times. PLEASE. Please. Get an editor and shorten this memoir significantly.

I hated almost every second of this book and was waiting for it to just finally be over. Then it did finally end.... supremely underwhelmingly. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone.

I was very excited for this book but to be honest I found it to be very boring. There was nothing that was keeping me invested and wanting to find out what happens next. While I appreciate this is a memoir, it was not the book for me but others may enjoy it.

I really enjoyed this book. Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the chance to read this ARC. Can’t wait for more by author!

Kathy, a young woman in New York, lives under the rule of her adoptive mother who obsesses over the belief Kathy is grossly promiscuous. Through the eyes of Kathy, we find anything but. Rather, we find an independent woman on a quest to find and establish her true identity. This heart-wrenching story about the unwarranted labels placed on women and the ability to overcome all odds is a glimpse into our own pasts. I thoroughly enjoyed this book for its bold commentary on the challenges of being a woman.

There are many acknowledgments of sexuality; how it defines you, how you define it, and its place in our cultural paradigm. The self-acknowledged idea of sexuality is individually crafted, with no right or wrong answer to how you choose to express it.
In this memoir, we follow Kathy, a twenty-year-old virgin. She navigates her family dynamic while going out into the world, trying to figure out how she fits into the dynamic of life while finding acceptance. There were good things to be had. The writing often is beautiful, with excellent prose that intertwines poetry to create fantastic imagery to her mental states. I liked her dynamic within her family, more so how it was presented and navigated, as there is often no correct answer or happy ending when it comes to those closest to you.
In this read, the adjacent characters aren’t there much, additions in her life that come and go and imprint things onto her, lessons to take. I liked these dynamics, but I think that’s all I wanted.
This, at times, reads like a Wattpad fanfiction with sometimes dubious messaging. It is often hard to critique firsthand experiences; however, when illustrating one’s introspective dealings with sexuality, it is understandable that one may criticize another’s viewpoint. It sometimes read as a very ‘not like other girls’ type of narrative, which is not harmful, in context but in the scheme of gender norms and the diversity of perspectives prevalent in the sphere of humanity, it is hard to overlook something that reads as potentially misogynistic.
Even when it did not come directly from our protagonist, which it sometimes did, the explicit remarks made by many of her suitors and subsequent lack of dialogue surrounding it makes it seem ok. The way it is situated and fixated in the book makes it seem ok.
There are a lot of aspects to this book that I enjoyed, with some great messages and themes; however, some come off as very anti-girl, whether it meant to or not. Thank you to she writes press and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book allowed me to step into a time and a life I’m unfamiliar with. It explores everything from the cultural and societal constructs that impact our sexuality to the power of female relationships to the complexities of daughter-mother relationships, specifically an adoptive one. The story that I loved most that was explored in this book came earlier in it; DelVicchio recounts a Hawaii trip fling turned failed romance when he broke things off when she upheld the boundaries she set around sex. This story stood out to me because it felt the most fully realized to me. I did struggle with the story being presented without any reflection interwoven throughout, which made me wonder what the author thought about some of the problematic things she thought when she was younger (ie congratulating herself for saving herself without acknowledging the validity of another choice). At a time where purity culture is being reevaluated and questioned, this book, while it tells a complex and relatable and touching narrative, perpetuates the ideas at times.

The description of “The Virgin Chronicles” was quite enticing, however; the book fell flat. I was never very engaged in the book and had to start over several times. The style is a narrative but it seems choppy and not told in a congruent way.

Thank you to the publisher, She Writes Press, and NetGalley for granting my a free eCopy in exchange for my opinions.

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to enjoy this book, but I hated it. I’m not sure if it’s the age gap or translation, but the book felt very disjointed to me. The flow of the story didn’t have any natural rhythm to it almost as if it was written as it was remembered. There was a lot of potential from the summary, but the book just felt overly simplified in comparison. I also hated the relationship between the mother and the manic character.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

This ARC was provided to me via Kindle, She Writes Press and by #NetGalley. Opinions expressed are completely my own.

An interesting journey shared via memoir. It’s not easy to be so open and transparent, kudos for that alone.