This was a breathtaking dystopian novel dealing with religious trauma and religious cults with a phenomenal queer cast and so much intensity.

Benji, a trans boy who is on the run from the religious cult he escaped from. They have made him a deadly monster with their bioweapon for mass distraction and he is dying from the inside out.

This is a world where monsters walk among them, made from religious zealots masquerading as godly people. When Nick, the leader of a group of teens from the lgbtq+ community center, known as the ALC happens upon Benji, he takes him in even though he knows his secret.

Even still, after all that Benji has been through, he has a hard time breaking through all of the mindset drilled into him from his upbringing. He doesn’t want to be the monster that they have made him though. Thinking that he and Nick and the rest of the ALC will be working together to right injustices the zealots have thrust upon the world, Benji has no idea of Nick’s deception; the real reason he has included Benji into their group.

This is such a poignant read with intense prose and messages. The world building is incredible. The amount of great representation in this book is a pure joy to see. There is seriously so much to this book. Adventure and found family. I loved it!

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC of this book. All opinions are my own.

What a hauntingly captivating novel from White. This was a page turner from the very first page. I thought this was well done and very striking. I would happily recommend this!

First Impressions: Most people in my book committee hated this book. As one of few Trans ppl in the group I felt it was important I read it even though I’m not a big fan of the horror genre. (so I thought)

I was anxious about getting triggered by the violence & gore of this book. However, It didn’t faze me. I consider myself someone especially sensitive to that kind of thing and I wasn’t impacted by it in this book at all. I think this is because visually I was imagining the adventure time animation style when gore was mentioned and that helped me. As a trans person who went to catholic school and saw the way the “most religious” (read mean nuns) interact behind closed doors. This was a book I NEEDED to read. AJW is an autistic Trans man and writes his characters with so much love you can feel it. As a white queer author he kept his MC’s from his own perspective and added ethnic and racial diversity to the side characters in the ideal way I want white authors to include people like me. We (Queer POC) exist but dont talk for us, put us in your story but don't pretend to know what we are thinking. I understand that some catholic people may be offended by the way the cult in this book is so closely linked to catholicism but I urge those people to consider what its like being in those institutions as a queer/trans individual. How you have to listen to hatred about who you are every sunday as if that's gospel. How it makes you hate yourself from the inside out. As a queer teen I prayed to G-d to make me different more than once, kids who have had this experience deserve this book.

AJW had neopronouns used consistently throughout the book (Xe/Xem/Xir)
He had criticism’s about cisgender queer folks ( something we need SO MUCH MORE OF in the LGBTQ+ community) He showed our MC Benji, a trans boy who didn’t feel the need to bind. As a Trans non binary person who wants to be read as more masculine without changing my body this is like life changing stuff to read. There's no one way to be Trans and AJW gives us so much to examine while writing beautifully.

Wow wow wow. This book was phenomenal and the perfect read after binging the new season of Stranger Things. White managed to create an apocalyptic atmosphere so gruesome and paranormal with monsters created from the bioweapon known as "The Flood". The story starts with Benji running away from the religious cult he was raised in. From the start this story is fast paced and immediately immerses you into this horrific scene of a young trans boy who just lost his father; the parent who accepted him and wanted to see him safe and free from the cult. From that moment the story keeps a quick pace, dragging out the right moments to build suspense. But overall it was very fast paced and hard to put down. You wanted to know what was going to happen next.
I am a reader who struggles to picture things visually in her mind but White was detailed and it was easier for me to create an image of the setting, the monsters, and characters. The writing in this story was so thought out and beautiful. The use of romantic and flowery writing in a dark horror story was so impactful to me as a reader. I absolutely loved it.

The descriptions in this book are absolutely to die for! The author forces you right into the pages and it feels like you’re there. I could feel the anger coursing through every line, and I loved it. The traumatized Sunday School kid in me healed a bit as I read this

If the song Antichrist by The 1975 was a book, it would be this one. I don't know how to explain it, but both the song and the book scratch at the same very specific spot in my brain.

This is not a perfect book. Yet, somehow, that fact seems to only enhance the effect of this story. This is such a gory and horrifying story, but at the same time, it feels so healing. It’s such an honest exploration of how deep the consequences of our choices, both good and bad, can reach and how many people they can impact. How even good people can make bad decisions, or how the “right” decision is not always the best one. As someone who doesn't have half of the lived experiences of these characters, I have to say this is where the author excels—everything feels so real, so possible, so raw, that you, as a reader, can't help but lean into Benji's rage and root for him to do his worst.

My only real criticism is that I think the few chapters we get from secondary characters’ POVs don’t add anything to the story; however, they don’t detract from it either. Also, I could have made it with fewer Bible quotes, but there's something so precise and so cruelly accurate about the way the author uses religion here that, in the end, I didn’t mind it.

Lastly, I would have loved to get more information about what the Judgement Day was and what actually happened. Consider this my plea for Andrew to write a prequel novella walking us through it. Please? PLEASE??? I NEED TO KNOW!

*incomprehensible screaming* (affectionate)

"Do you believe in God?
—I do, please stop, there's so much blood"

READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS. They are not a joke. Take them seriously. This book is as brutal as it is brilliant, and it is filled with potentially disturbing imagery and triggers. It is not for everyone. Please, please, please I am begging you to READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS.

Okay, got that? Good.

This book will not leave my head; I am paying it rent, and I don't even care. Hell Followed with Us wrecked me in the best kind of way. It tore me to pieces and then—gently, lovingly—sewed the pieces back together. It beckoned me forward and held me close, tenderly ripping my heart from my chest and holding it in the space between us. It was an intensely intimate experience, and I will return to it, over and over, until I know it the way the sun knows the horizon, the way the moon knows the stars. Memories of lines, scenes, emotions, haunt my waking hours—the imagery, the feeling, the hollow ache of it all.

I loved everything about this book. It is gloriously nasty and horrific. I have read it twice now, and I still cannot describe just how much this book means to me. It is everything. I want to read it again immediately. I loved it the first time, I loved it endlessly more the second. Never have I reread a book so quickly. Never has a book hit so much harder the second time around. Never has a book felt more like a home.

Hell Followed with Us is a brilliant debut. It blew away every expectation I had. Andrew's masterful use of prose, complex and delightful characters, and incredible worldbuilding come together to craft a story that will pull readers in and stay with them for a long time. I have never read anything like it, and I desperately hope to see more books like this in the future.

So, what is it about?

"If they want their monster, make them suffer for it."

Benji was raised by Angels: the Christian fundamentalist cult that unleashed Armageddon via the Flood, a powerful bioweapon capable of wiping out billions in a matter of days. If you're lucky, the Flood will kill you, and quick—new bones growing through your lungs, organs liquefying into black sludge, your skull splitting open to accommodate a new set of teeth. If you're not… you become a Grace: a holy warrior of God. An abomination made of ruined corpses held together and kept alive by the very virus that destroyed them.

Wanting nothing to do with the Angels and their genocidal grab for salvation, Benji runs away, finding safety and community for the first time in the ALC—Acheson's LGBTQ+ Center. But Benji doesn't have long before he transforms into Seraph: the six-winged monster the Angels created to wipe out what little remains of humanity. Benji's determined to keep Seraph out of the Angel's hands and to not become the "perfect weapon" of God he was intended to be, but the Angels won't take no for an answer.

"What gets me most of all, though, is that everybody here is a nonbeliever. All of them. Not a single one believes in the Angelic Movement. Not a single one has given themselves to God in the exact way the Angels demand it. Every person is someone I've been taught to hate since I first stepped foot in New Nazareth."

The characters in this book are amazing. Hell Followed with Us has some of the most nuanced and complex characters I've ever seen. They're so well-developed that it's easy to imagine them as real people, to believe that they have lives outside of the plot of the story rather than existing for the sake of the narrative. I really appreciated the diverse representation within the ALC, which felt very authentically true to a queer youth center surviving the apocalypse. Religion is also dealt with in a nuanced and sensitive way, especially when it comes to Benji's struggle with his own faith. Even the characters I would willingly and happily hunt for sport are still given depth, still humanized even in their monstrosity. Which is horrifying. And brilliant.

"Listen to me. My name is Benjamin Woodside. I'm gay and trans as hell, I am a boy, my pronouns are he/him, and I am a goddamn person."

Benji is a love letter written to angry, trans kids who never wanted to fight the world but weren't given a choice. He goes through so much growth and change that it's impossible to say much about him without risking spoilers. He is soft and gentle and sweet and kind, but he is also a raging, feral, monstrous creature who can and will commit violent murder. Benji is a single thin thread away from snapping at any given moment, and, like, I get it. Same, dude. And he only gets more feral as the Flood rampages through his body, turning him from tiny boy into giant disgusting flesh thing. And despite all that, he wants so badly to be good (he talks about it at least 33 times), and he is. He is.

"Also, please note that at least two boys are devastatingly in love with this giant rotting monster, and I think that's pretty cool." -Andrew via Instagram

"He understood the wild look in its eyes when it saw something it could protect, because he feels the same way every time someone comes to him for help."

Nick is my favorite character in HFWU, and probably also my favorite character in anything. His chapters completely gutted me. His narration just hits different, and I related to it in so many ways. Nick is trying so hard. He is desperate to keep the ALC alive and safe, even if it comes at the expense of his own wellbeing. He is also the source of my first ever healthy coping mechanism. The lizards, the lizards . I have made so many bead lizards now, and I love them so much.

"Nick holds the knife out to me, the blade between his dirty, bruised fingers. He trusts me. Even after seeing the letter, even knowing what I'll become.
I take the handle."

Nick and Benji's relationship is so important to me for so many reasons. I won't say much more because it's really something you need to experience for yourself, but despite the bead lizards and the bobby pins and the laughter and the bandages, I have to agree with Andrew on this:

"in honor of Valentine's day, i bestow the knowledge that the most romantic moment in hell followed with us (in my mind at least) is when the love interest barely convinces the viscera-covered, rage-feral, half-rotted protagonist to not murder him :')" -Andrew via Twitter

That is all.

"No, I should be the one saying that. I should be thanking her, Nick, and the ALC. For this, and the bobby pins, and the hands holding me upright, and the people I saved and who saved me. Those are the things I would burn down the Angels for."

Found family is one of my favorite tropes, and there is so much of that here. I love the ALC. See Chapter 25 for the scene I desperately want to talk about here but can't because spoilers.

"It. I can't keep saying it. That's not right. I want to press my hands to its, their, their skin, reach into their organs the way Theo brought the flesh to his lips, whisper to them, We're the same thing, we're the same, can you tell?"

As much as I adore the other relationships in the book, Benji's relationship with the Graces is my favorite. The way Benji interacts with these horrific body-horror monstrosities is so loving and gentle. He calls to them. He whispers that it's okay, that he's here, that he's scared too. He sees who they are underneath all the rotting flesh, afraid and in pain and deserving of love and compassion and help. He holds them, he loves them. And the Graces in turn curl around him, protective and seeking comfort at the same time. They come to him like moths to a flame; look to him like flowers turning towards the sun; cling to him like a child to a parent, trusting him to take care of them. It's precious.

And to end it off, I leave you with couple quotes from Salvador because xe is a treasure:

"I'm super trans. Like, an honestly heretical amount of trans."

"I think we're in a situation where eating the rich is not only allowed but acceptable, encouraged, and part of a well-rounded diet. Essential vitamins and minerals, you know."

If you read a single book this year, make it this one.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and Peachtree Teen in exchange for an honest review.


Original review posted 03/15:

*incomprehensible screaming* (affectionate)

Proper review to come whenever I manage to be remotely coherent about this book. I cannot form a single sentence that makes any sense right now because I have Too Many Feelings, but I acquired a physical arc today, which is genuinely one of the best things that's ever happened to me, so I'm going to go read it again.

At first this had 4* potential but then it got convoluted and I was struggling to follow on, and by the end I wasn't even that sure what had happened. Then I got to the acknowledgements and saw that the agent was Zabé Ellor (author of two shitshow books) and that made sense.

Gory, gruesome, and blisteringly angry, this is a trans story unlike any I've read before. I'm not so far removed from my days of being a young and furious trans teen myself, in that I definitely wasn't unaffected by the raw emotion in this book. Ultimately, that wasn't enough for me to get really engrossed, and I just found myself kind of lost and confused by the origins of the Flood, the extent of the New Nazareth fascism in the world, and what exactly the point of the Seraph experiment even was. Still,I think this will really be a hit with the queer and trans youth, and I won't hesitate to recommend it to them.

This was phenomenal. I don’t really have the words to describe this book right now but I’m sitting here in shock of how good it was.

The concept is so interesting and although I don’t usually read horror, this pulled me in from the get-go. It starts off right in the middle of the action and made me want to keep reading, to the point where I read this in just two sittings. The horror and graphic parts were icky and gross and I loved them.

I especially loved the anger that Benji felt and how it was described and showcased. As a trans person, anger is something I know very well. Anger at the world, at the system, at everything.

Not only that, but there was so much representation. From characters using neopronouns to the autistic rep in Nick, everything worked perfectly for me.

I also think this book did a great job with moving the plot along and giving hints on what would happen next without being too predictable.

LGBT REP: Gay trans male mc, gay autistic mc/li, nonbinary sc, sapphic scs, queer and trans scs, lesbian sc, ace sc

Content Warnings: graphic violence and gore, transphobia, deadnaming, domestic abuse, religious trauma/abuse, self-injury, attempted suicide

Two years ago, a doomsday cult released a mutating virus called the Flood onto the world. After growing up as one of their experiments, Benji finally escapes them and finds refuge with a small resistance group of queer teens. However, he must learn how to control the virus inside of him before he destroys what's left of humanity.

Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White is a queer post-apocalyptic horror YA that packs a bite. It doesn't shy away from blood and gore and pays homage to games like Resident Evil and The Evil Within, so if you love body horror and grotesque monsters, you're in for a treat.

This story is fast-paced and throws you into the action right from the start. However, as a result, the relationships tend to feel rushed. Characters trust each other and divulge heavily personal information unrealistically quickly, which is something I would expect people to be weary of given the brutal setting.

Also, I found the worldbuilding intriguing and I would've loved to have seen it fleshed out more! For instance, there isn't really an explanation for how the virus triggers the transformation process, what dictates the virus’ incubation time, and what causes the different mutation variations (Graces, Seraphs, Abominations, etc.).

Overall, Hell Followed with Us is a messy but delightfully fierce book about found family, religious trauma, and unleashing your inner monster.

Benji is sixteen-years-old and is on the run from the religious cult who's raised him for the past five years - the very same cult who decimated the world's population and left very few clusters of survivors scattered around the globe. He's searching for a place where he can't be found, and, more importantly, where they can't get their hands on the dangerous and perfected bioweapon they infected him with. When he feels trapped, Benji is rescued by a group of teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ Center (ALC for short). Their leader, Nick - gorgeous, autistic, and deadly shot - knows the secret Benji has been hiding - the bioweapon is mutating him into a monster deadly enough to wipe out the rest of humanity, or at least the rest of the nonbelievers. Still, Benji is offered a place of solace at the ALC, as long as he can control the monster and use its power to keep the others safe. Benji agrees, until he learns that Nick has secrets of his own, and that he may never truly be safe.

*the letter from the author prior to the start of the novel has the following content warning: "this book contains depictions of graphic violence, transphobia, domestic and religious abuse, self-injury, and attempted suicide." please take care of yourself and pick this up only if you're in a good head-space to do so, it will still be there when you're ready*

Now I am not a reader who actively chooses to pick up book that are heavy on action and gore. From the letter from the author at the beginning I knew what I was getting into, I just don't normally pick up these kinds of books. But I want to be clear that I'm not saying these books don't deserve to be written. Hell Followed With Us is full of anger and trauma and rebelling against the force that has made you feel worthless for longer than you can remember. It's about trying to escape in order to heal and being re-traumatized at every turn. There is hurt. A lot of it. And underlying it all, there is hope. It's a story that needs to be told, and certainly one that will find its audience - it has already found a pretty substantial following with whom its message has resonated so strongly, and I'm glad to see it. The book starts off with action, Benji trying to escape the scene where his father has just been murdered by people whom he's been taught to trust, and I'll admit I was a bit confused. It's one of those stories where you're thrown in and have to keep reading in order for things to be explained, and it definitely took me some time to become accustomed to the world. While I do think the ended got a little muddled, again it's a point of major action and I got a bit confused, there is so much to love about everything in between. From found family (the queer teens at the ALC who may not always get along but rely on each other for survival), to on page and named autistic representation in Nick, to Benji's inner thoughts about dysmorphia, there are so many discussion that caught me off guard in the best way and were more powerful than I can put into words.

One thing I especially want to highlight is the massive religious trauma wielded throughout the book. It really does such a great job at showing just how destructive indoctrination can be on someone's health and mindset. It doesn't matter how strongly you've deconstructed, or how much you know in your mind and heart that what you've been taught all those years is harmful and hateful, there will always be times when those teaching crop back up in your life and make you react in certain ways. This doesn't mean you've failed in your journey of healing, far from it as long as you acknowledge your words and actions as harmful - it just shows how deeply trauma can affect someone. As someone who spent more than half their life at religious institutions, even I have to give myself pause when a thought crosses my mind sometimes. Not everything I've ever been taught has been wrong, but I've had to sort out my beliefs so they better align with what I, in the present, believe to be right.

In conclusion, I'm not entirely sure this review made a lot of sense. I have a lot of thoughts about Hell Followed With Us, and I'm sure that I'll gain more insight from the story when reading a second time, since I'm not personally skimming through some of the heavier action to make sure the characters I care about made it out ok. I truly can't wait to see the book find [more of] its audience and to resonate with readers who need to feel like their feelings are valid and acceptable. *Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher, Peachtree Teen, for the early copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.*

This book won my heart early on and fully delivered. It has the diverse queer rep we need, and particularly the rep young readers have been starving for. Coupled with a nuanced representation of religious trauma, this book was both healing for my mid-twenties self and something I desperately wish I had had as a teenager.

Wildly horrific, queer sci-fi dystopia about religious terrorist cells, bioweapons, found families, and body horror. Releasing this in Pride month is genius, but it would be even more apropos at the end, to start Wrath month.

If you like dystopian books, horror & monsters, and queer found families this book is for you!

This was so good! Who doesn't love a group of queer teens destroying a terrorist religious cult.
Books like this remind me how much I love dystopian and post-apocalyptic fiction. It was so well done and everything hit a bit too close to home. The story is set not that far away in the future, the climate crisis has become a lot worse, right-wings religious extremists took the power and unleashed a plague called the Flood to eradicate the population. The virus turns people into monsters called the Graces, which they try to control to kill all the heretics left, but their goal is to make a monster supreme, the Seraph, to become their weapon and wipe humanity entirely. And who better than a 16yo trans boy to be the vessel of such a monster.
I love monsters and gory body horror transformations, and what I love even more are monsters accepting and loving themselves as such. And I'm a sucker for the queer found family trope so I couldn't not love this book. The characters were all so great and complex and all the ALC teens are my children I love them so much.

Hell Followed With Us is so beautiful horrific! I don’t read horror but I made an exception for this. I adored Benji and Nick so much. Their characters and the rep was so beautiful and captivating. This book was truly monstrous and I couldn’t look away!

Benji is our trans boy running from a cult that wants to use him to save the world; but the dead him, the person he isn’t and the name they won’t let him escape.

Nick is autistic and leads a LQBTQ+ youth center of survivors during this apocalyptic time. He lets Benji in and the two are faced with their unraveling religious trauma, their feelings for each other, and the cult trying to kill them.

This story is full of gore and rage and retribution. I LOVED the fast pace and the way it made me feel. The writing was beautiful. The relationships melted me. I genuinely loved all the characters and the found family aspect.

If you like monstrous trans boys, platonic relationships, and horror this book is for you.

A very queer high fantasy where it's the queer kids against a super religious cult in a fight for humanity - literally. When the Angels create a bioweapon meant to wipe out the last of humanity, who will prevail & win this battle?

The premise and the plot of this book sound amazing, and the execution was very well done - the only thing I wish is that there was more explanation of the world building in the story itself rather than mostly from the description. This could very well be a misunderstanding of the worldbuilding on my part from my lack of reading high fantasy, but it would have made for a better reading experience for me!

Despite it being a little bit difficult to grasp, I was still hooked. Mostly in thanks to the amazing representation we see throughout. The cast of queer and otherwise diverse characters is so refreshing to see, especially in such a religious-based novel. I love the angst and anger we see from our trans and autistic characters - something not quite as often seen in books, yet very justified. It's quite a different approach than most of the queer books I've read, which makes it stand out.

However, I'm only giving it 3 stars because of the disconnect with the world building & lack of explanation that did hinder my reading experience. While I love and appreciate all of the representation, overall it's just an average read for me.

Rep: trans, nonbinary (neopronouns!), gay, sapphic, aro, autistic, Black, Latine, & Mulsim characters

CW: death, child death, war, body horror, graphic violence, fire, transphobia, misgendering, deadnaming, domestic abuse, religious abuse, self-injury, attempted suicide, vomit

Rating system:
5 - absolutely love, little-to-no dislikes that did not impact my reading experience

4 - great book, minor dislikes that did have an impact on my reading experience

3 - good/decent book but for some reason did not hook me or there were some problematic things that just were not addressed or greatly impacted my reading experience

2 - is either a book I did not click with and did not enjoy, problematic aspects are not addressed and severely impacted my reading experience, or I DNF'd but think it has potential for others

1 - is very problematic, I would not recommend the book to anyone

Sometimes you end up falling in love with a book even if it's a difficult read. Hell Followed with Us is one such book for me. Even though I had a hard time reading all the religious trauma, Benjis journey to finding his strength and family captured me. And while I wish there was more information about how the world has changed, I strongly recommend this book!

This is by far one of my favourite books ever. It is absolutely unhinged in the best way possible, and every page is exquisite. I am 100% feral for this book and I will be picking up everything Andrew Joseph White publishes for the rest of forever.

Dnf at 33% for purely personal reasons.

I think this book is phenomenal and will do so well once published. But major trigger warning for religious trauma, mass disease/pandemic and homophobia. I expected it going in but didn’t realize how much it would effect me.

I really enjoyed Andrew Joseph White’s writing style and he crafted such an incredible story. The world is also scarily believable.

I have a three star rating because I don’t feel this book deserves a negative rating at all. It is just not a book I can read.