I haven't ready any dystopian/ sci-fi/ fantasy books in quite a while, so a queer dystopian book with religious conotations was fascinating and a brilliant way to jump back into the genre!

I really enjoyed this book and had been hearing a lot of buzz surrounding it online prior to the opportunity - thank you Peachtree!

To have LGBT, Autism & Foundfamily representation in one book is equally heartbursting as it is just complete pride. We need more books with these areas represented - and it was delightful to have this within the horror/body gore genre - it was different, but in a good way!

I would die for Benji & Nick.

Fantastic read - cannot wait for more from the author in the future!

Thank you NetGalley and Peachtree Teen for this eARC, these opinions are my own. I’m a big fan of post apocalyptic stories so I was really excited to read this! The horror and body gore does not disappoint! I enjoyed both Benji and Nick! The writing was great and I enjoyed their character development! This was a hard read for not because of anything the author did but because of the religious aspects. I always forget that it’s hard for me to read any book that has to much religious connection! Even with that this was a great book! Definitely a recommended read!

this book turned out to be exactly what i wanted it to be! all i knew going in was that it was queer horror, which was beyond enough to draw me in, and it exceeded all my expectations. i loved all the characters so, so much and the found family was absolutely perfect. this book was cathartic and wonderful in every way!

I loved this book! i haven’t been a fan of dystopian novels for a while but this one made me love them again! The religious aspects behind the dystopia was so cool and different. i can not wait to reread this!

I’m obviously a big fan of queer books, so this was always going to be a book that I was going to read. As well as that, I’ve followed A.J on Twitter for a few years, as part of my foray into writing Twitter. I might not have written for a while, but I’ve still been following him and enjoying doing so. A.J seems like a great guy, so I also knew that I wanted to support him by writing a review.

Hell Followed With Us follows Benji, a trans teen who is on the run from the cult that has destroyed a lot of the world and transformed him into a bioweapon. All he wants to be able to do is just live his life as the boy he is, but after being cornered by monsters when trying to escape, he is rescued by teens from a local LGBTQA+ group. Their leader Nick is gorgeous, autistic and deadly, and he knows exactly who Benji actually is. But he agrees to let Benji stay, provided he can control his inner monster and help them. Benji agrees, but soon he finds out that Nick might not be telling him everything.

If you’re squeamish, this might not be the book for you. I’m not the biggest fan of body horror, but since I expected it in this book, it didn’t bother me very much. There’s a lot of murder and descriptions of blood and plenty of squishy things. This is very much a horror novel, and it would definitely not be fun to see on screen. Not for me anyway. The descriptions are very vivid, and they can be a little off-putting, but that’s what makes them so good.

Benji was a different example of trans rep than we’re used to seeing in media, and it was nice. Benji hasn’t done more than socially transition. He’s cut his hair short and dresses in a masculine fashion, but he doesn’t bind, and he wouldn’t get any chance to take hormones or have surgery. But he’s okay with that. He doesn’t feel dysphoric about his body, just the way others view him. Not all trans people experience dysphoria, and those that do, don’t necessarily experience it in the same way. He doesn’t hate his body, but he knows he’s a guy, and it was so wonderful to see that sort of rep. It’s also worth noting that there’s definitely transphobia within this book. Some people within the group don’t see Benji as trans due to his personal experience. On the other side, the cult still refers to him as a girl and tries to treat him as so. That can be pretty painful, as it seems he’s going to be judged no matter where he goes. Fortunately, Benji makes friends who love him no matter what.

Obviously, this book has a lot of ties to religion. The cult Benji has escaped from claims to be Christian and refers to themselves as angels. They’re doing what to do to please God. If they get rid of all other people on Earth, they’ll surely all go to Heaven. This leads to convoluted thoughts and discussions on faith. Some teenagers do want to believe, but obviously, it’s difficult to deal with. They’re having to accept that they can have faith and be good people and that not be connected to the cult. I found this pretty interesting. I’m not religious myself. Not at all. But I can see both the good and bad that religion can do. This book focuses on a lot of the bad, but there are some interesting discussions on both sides.

I think the world-building was pretty good. This is set in a near-future America, so technology-wise, there’s nothing that different. The world is ending, and people do have very little left. In this sort of novel, you kind of expect to see some changes in technology, but this book was pretty analogue. It helped add to the dying world feel to this book, and it was pretty good. The cult and everything else made so much sense and made for a gripping read.

Overall, this was a pretty good book. I’m so glad that I’ve read it, even if it was grosser than I’d usually like. This is definitely a book worth reading.

Thank you to Netgallery and PeachtreeTeen for providing me with an electronic ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is gonna be a long review because I could talk about this book for ages.
This is one of the best books I have ever read, and probably my favorite standalone of all time.

It is gory, horrific, feral, and raw. Full of trans rage and queer survival. I want to see more books like this. Give me messy traumatized teenagers fighting back. Give me books with casts of queer characters not just side characters. Give me queer books written by queer authors FOR queer readers, not watered down into fluff or a sob story to be easily digested by the masses.

I will say, it is very heavy with themes of religious trauma and a lot of body horror so please, PLEASE LOOK AT THE TRIGGER WARNINGS. The author has a detailed list on his website.

I loved the inclusion of the bible versus and sermons etc. If you have less of a knowledge of Christianity it might be less impactful but I think the idea will still come across as clear. The specific language used screams of extremist evangelical Christianity in a hauntingly accurate way.

This book had me sucked in from the very first chapter. It's fast paced, and moves quickly without sacrificing character development or world building. There are so many great twists and reveals. So many times I thought I knew EXACTLY where the plot was going only for it to go in a completely different direction.

This book made me feel so many feelings. I laughed, I screamed, my jaw dropped (literally dropped, and stayed open for a full minute.) I had to stop reading just to yell the word "EW" multiple times. Then a page later I would stop to squeal in delight over a cute character interaction. It perfectly balances heartwarming moments with absolutely horrific gore and body horror.

It's got found family, a brooding bad boy love interest, and queer kids fighting to stop the end of the world.

The characters? THE CHARACTERS.

I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR BENJI AND NICK. Benji's voice immediately drew me in. I think this is the first time where I LOVED that it's in first person. It just wouldn't have worked any other way.

I also loved that we got a few chapters from Nick's pov as well.

Speaking of Nick

THE AUTISM REPRESENTATION.
Nick says he is autistic. Hes not just coded, or implied to be autistic. HE IS AUTISTIC. The sensory issues, the stimming, going non verbal, everything was just so well done. He is badass and morally grey in the best way, but also a traumatized neurodivergent gay teen just trying his best to keep hinself and his friends alive. I love that he gets to be a love interest as well. The relationship between Nick and Benji was so fricking cute. I need to make a beaded lizard for myself and then cry about being alone.

The side characters are diverse in race, ethnicity, religion, orientation, gender identity, and ability.

AND THE DIVERSITY IS SO WELL DONE

The queer representation? I have never seen it done better. Almost every character is queer. There are characters who use neo pronouns, they/them pronouns, gay characters, queer characters who are Catholic, Muslim, Jewish. I cant remember the exact orientations of them all but it's a diverse range.

The jokes/nods to the queer community and queer discourse today? Perfection.

I would recommend it for fans of It (2017), Supernatural, Hannibal, Welcome to Night Vale, The Magnus Archives etc. Its queer horror with monsters and gore. Also if you liked the movie Venom but probably not for the reasons the directors envisioned.

It also reminded me of some of my favorite 2010s dystopian/ post apocalyptic novels except way more queer. Books like Unwind or Gone.

Overall this was just an amazing book. As a bookseller I cant wait to be able to sell this to customers and have it on display in the store. I hope that others will enjoy it as much as I have.

4.25

Wow, I loved this. I tend to steer clear from post-apocalyptic fiction, but the premise of this seemed unique and I am so glad I took the chance on it.

Yes, there are detailed descriptions of gore and violence (the author provides content warnings at the front) but the heart of this story is the characters. They are all kids just doing what they can to stay alive despite the world being out to get them and I loved them all. Benji is an angry trans boy on the run from a fundamentalist cult that wants to wipe out humanity. His pure joy and confusion when he finds the ALC and sees another trans person made me tear up. And Nick! I loved him so much.

I will say that this book really throws you into the world and makes you orient yourself much more than I expected from a YA release. That being said, the writing was enthralling and I found that once I started the book I could not put it down. If this is what White can do in his debut, I can't wait to read his sophomore release!

"hell followed with us" is an astounding debut novel from Andrew Joseph White about a queer trans teen boy escaping from a "christian" cult - after being infected with a bioweapon primed to transform him into a deadly, powerful monster. please refer to the author's website/note for content warnings as it is dystopia/horror.

i cannot explain how stunning this book is. it explores religious trauma and ecofacism, queer community and neurodivergence, abuse and rage. this book is furious. it is about burning down your oppressors, and like ajw said in his author's note, smoke will get in your eyes. (btw please read his note. it is so, so good and indicative of the book to come).

benji's physical transformation into a monster is so much more than a metaphor for transitioning physically as a trans person - in fact, i don't see it as that at all. it is about him claiming his body, taking control of his self image, taking up space with the all of his rage and joy and queerness. it is about mentally healing as a trans person abused by a transphobic society - not physically changing. and this is what makes the ending so fantastic - all of this build up that could feel tedious at the 30-60% marks is proven necessary to create what i thought was just the perfect conclusion. it is angry and imperfect and hopeful and AH. just so good. ALSO nick is autistic and it was so lovely to read about another neurodivergent human :) especially because he was the leader of the armed resistance??? it's just not about his autism but he IS and it's important but not his only trait and it is so fantastic. i needed this rep with all my soul.

one thing to note is that you will not be given a lot of backstory in terms of the bioweapon/world building, so don't expect it. it's not what the book is about, but it does take time to realize that and can be a bit confusing if you are expecting something else.

queer community. UGH. ugh. i think this displayed well that queer and trans* people can be awful just like everyone else??? frequently i think books forget that lgbtq+ folks are human, with a full spectrum of emotions and personalities - we don't always say and think the in the kindest or most liberal ways. we can be cruel and kind and confusing - our relationships are complex, not always black and white.

i think that is my main take away from this book. it is gloriously messy. i felt uncomfortable with even the characters i liked sometimes because that is the POINT! because this book is purposefully brutal and angry and raw - its not polished and polite and healthy. but it's real.

i am excited to see what ajw writes in the future, because this was way out of my genre comfort zone but it was stunning.

(thank you to netgalley and peachtree teen for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.)

I'd like to thank the author and publisher for sending me an arc through Netgalley!

Hell Followed With Us is the perfect mix of horror, queerness and found family.The characters are stunningly developed without any of them feeling two dimensional, yes this includes the side characters as well which was refreshing to see in a YA novel.

Horror is one of the genres that intimidate me which is probably why it took me a while to get to this book but I absolutely loved it from the second that I got into it. The world is relatively easy to understand and get into and the characters have a strong voice throughout the story.

Overall this was a stunning story perfect for anyone who wants to read something on the darker side that still feels like a hug.

LGBTQ+ Boys (and girls, and other pals) becoming themselves, becoming monsters, falling in love, fighting for their lives and livelihood in the expanse of a dead and rotting world. This novel is so unique and intriguing. It has traditional horror/monstrosity tones, with beautiful inclusivity and an intense apocalyptic setting.

I love the complexity of all the characters. They each are dealing with their own identities, coming to terms with the parts they can’t change about themselves and how to fight to be themselves. The religion and faith are definitely two different themes here and I like to see how they can coexist or be separate entities depending on the characters and their experiences.

I also really liked the underlying themes of love and acceptance. They were very strong and definitely had a big part in the ending scenes of the novel. Everyone has their “monsters”, and we have to learn to live with our own and with the ones of the people we care about if they are willing to accept it back.

Gore, hatred, and diversity, Andrew Joseph White delivers an angelic dark mutation of holy gender, diversity, and payback.

Andre Joseph White delivers a dark and strange novel around religion, fanaticism, and the terrifying image of angels. Monsters without shape, multiple eyes, and wings. White plays with the juxtaposition of those monstrous beings to the real-life angels: diverse youth.

A story packed with action scenes full of gore and explicit descriptions of bodies blowing up and monsters crying to help. A rhapsody of pain and revenge plagued the novel; however, the reader will not miss the villain: a cult, a group of prejudiced people that want to see the world burn but that mainly won't recognize your identity and will not respect your being nor pronouns.

While reading the novel, I was not sure what made this novel fall into the horror genre: the monsters based on the Bible and the gore of the events; or the horrible prejudice of the characters who rejected the main character's identity.

In a display of hatred, rage, and love for one's life, the novel flashes hot as an inferno burning the real sin of the world. Together in a fight for equality, Benji reaffirms who he is, who he has become, and how to change the world.

Rating: 4.5
I loved this book. It was easy to picture the world and everything happening from the beginning. I liked the characters and the writing. The only thing I didn't really like was the Bible verses that felt randomly thrown in.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book, in exchange for an honest review.

Hell Followed with Us is the queer, post-apocalyptic horror novel I didn't know I needed. The novel is set a short time after a fundamental Christian group initiated the apocalypse, and began killing in the name of God. They call themselves the "Angels," and believe that their path to heaven lies in the annihilation of all non-believers. The apocalypse began with the Flood, a contagious disease meant to turn people into monsters, rotted from the inside-out. The Angels affectionately refer to these monsters as Graces, and believe them to be their glorious weapon. After all, the Graces aid in their "holy war" to kill anyone who doesn't accept this new world order.

At the heart of it all is a special grace called Seraph. A creation the Angels have made to control all other Graces. The Angels believe that it is Seraph that will lead them to victory and finally secure their place in heaven.

However, the person transforming into Seraph is a young, trans teen named Benji, who isn't sure if he believes in the Angels' cause anymore. When he and his dad make a run for it, tragedy begets a new way of thinking. Benji is taken into the fold of the local LGBT center, where he meets other queer teens like him. Here, he grapples with his upbringing and identity, and ultimately must make a choice.

This book is a brutal and all too familiar narrative for those who have grown up with religious trauma, particularly if you're also queer. Extra points if you also struggle with mental illness. The book is a near-constant barrage of horrifying yet exquisitely intricate body horror that resonated with me and my complicated history with organized religion.

At the heart of it all is a boy who has been abused and mistrated, and doesn't know how to process the complicated feelings of love and betrayal he experiences.

I didn't give the book a full five stars, because I felt like there was still room for improvement. While many books suffer from beginning too early in the story, I feel like this book began too late. We're dropped into a heart breaking scene that doesn't get the proper emotional weight, in my opinion. And while it continues to be referenced throughout the book, I still don't think the impact of the event on Benji's psyche is conveyed as well as it could be.

The plot, too, feels like it could have been expanded in moments of contraction, and contracted in moments of expansion. In other words, sometimes the focus of the story feels misplaced. I would have liked to see more world-building with some of the side characters and plots, too.

There is also autism rep that I feel like is a bit heavy-handed, in my opinion as an autistic person. I adored the character, and much of his characterization I identified with. I just think that when we are first introduced to his POV, the way he talks about his autism is a bit contrived. I personally think it would have been more impactful if it had been introduced in a more nuanced way.

Also, note that while the narrative has many trans characters, the antagonists of the novel are explicitly transphobic for a large portion of the text. Including, but not limited to repeated misgendering and forcing a trans character to wear gendered clothing they don't want to wear. The text does not condone it, but it is present and may be triggering to some.

CW/TW: gore, violence, body horror, teeth pulling, bones breaking, transphobia, religious fundamentalism, religious trauma, dysphoria, abuse, abusive romantic relationships, child abuse (parent to child)...that's all I can think of at the moment, but there may be more. It's a very graphic book, so if that's not your jam, keep that in mind.

An incredible story that effortlessly blends the trans experience with religious trauma and body horror. Queer rage took center stage in this story, with a strong supporting cast of queer and trans rebels fighting for a future free from religious eco-terrorism. This is YA story that is equal parts gorgeous, uncomfortable, eerie, and so very queer. One of my favorite reads of the year so far.

4.75 rounded up.

"I wrote this book for a few reasons: Because I wanted more stories about boys like me. Because I was angry. Because I still am. But mainly, I wanted to show queer kids that they can walk through hell and come out alive.” - Andrew Joseph White

This quote from the author’s note at the beginning of the book is what completely sold me on picking this up. This book. This. Book.

I read this in about a day. It’s mostly fast paced and the story and characters just draw you in. I was surprised by twists that I honestly should have seen coming but I was too focused on Benji and the clock ticking down on him.

There’s action right at the start as you’re thrown into this post-apocalyptic world and learn what happened through the characters and chapter epigraphs. I really enjoyed White’s writing style; the language and imagery are raw, emphatic, and visceral. He balances tension, suspense, and moments of softness to lighten the dark and give you, and Benji, a breath, before stepping back into hellfire.

I really enjoyed Benji’s character arc and transformation (literally). Nick was also a great love interest—it’s not often the mysterious hot badass is autistic. I also liked how the romance is very much a minor subplot and did not overshadow the plot and Benji’s character development. They’re teenagers, but they’ve also had to become child soldiers as an Evangelical eco-fascist terrorist cult commits genocide. I also thoroughly enjoyed all the queer rep, thought it was well done, including covering bigotry within queer communities towards those already under fire.

I will say that if you're not familiar with Christianity beyond the general things you probably pick up because imperialism/colonialism, this might feel very Bible quote/reference heavy. Which, while understandable and I knew going in there would be a lot of Biblical references and allusions, many went over my head or I mentally handwaved them since I didn’t know the context and any context provided was limited, and I did quickly end up skipping over them.

For all that this book is dark and violent and full of horrors, at it’s core it's hopeful. It shows hope as people who claw their way through the monsters that try and extinguish them. Sometimes hope is a monster itself, forged in blood and fueled on rage.

This is a powerful, angry debut that queer teens need. Queer adults too. I am definitely going to keep an eye out for White’s future work, and go back and check out his short stories.

I really enjoyed this book from the get go. It jumps right into the action without making the reader feel lost but the world. I immediately enjoyed the main character Benji from the get go. Even if we are seeing him first in a pretty traumatising experience. This was a great way to set up his character and his place in the story.

The book can be boiled down to a post apocalyptic horror. The book is set in a world where there has been an event called ‘the flood’ and the survivors can be split into two categories; people who are part of the religious cult and people who fighting back against the cult.

I liked a lot of things in this book. I liked Benji a lot and the supporting cast of entirely queer characters. You as the reader can tell how much this means to Benji as a gay trans boy. Since he grew up sheltered in an extreme version of Christianity with a mother who was a church leader, he has a lot of trauma around that to deal with.

While I did enjoy the book, I was pretty confused with a lot of the world building elements. I didn’t full grasp Benni’s own power or completely get what the ‘flood’ was but other than that, I really enjoyed reading this.

<b>*going around like a town crier* ANGRY GAYS!! THIS ONE IS FOR THE ANDRY GAYS!! WRATH MONTH IS NOW A BOOK!!</b>

Hell Followed With Us is simply *chef's kiss*. It's a new favourite & I hope this is the next hit in YA, when it cames out in June!
This book follows Benji (a gay trans 16yo boy), as he flees the dystopian-creating genocide-by-bioweapon christian extremist cult, and ends up being rescued by the queer teens of the resistance. But Benji has a secret, and it can either bring the end of times or stop them. [very <i>Good Omens</i> of them, I just realized - Crowley&Aziraphale would love these kids].
The book touches on found family, religion (and religious trauma) and queer anger; with racial, sexuality, gender identity and various religion affiliations represented, as well as several disabilities, including autism. #OwnVoices for autism, and sexuality (gay) /gender identity (trans).

It is super fast-paced, I read this in three sittings. I enjoyed the writing and the world-building, and that cover is just stunning! I ended up pre-ordering my physical copy before finishing my ARC and can't wait to have it in my hands!

<blockquote> <a href="https://twitter.com/meakoopa/status/742234804654092288"> "oh sorry if we are being unfair unfortunately u guys murdered all the nice gays & now there's just us: the assholes."</a> </blockquote>

<blockquote> <a href="https://twitter.com/meakoopa/status/742238554093281280">"the queers who were nice/patient/gentle all got shot or bullied to death all that's left r me & the other pissed-off cockroach motherfuckers" </a> </blockquote>

START RAMBLING:

While I think this story will ruffle many feathers (no pun intended), I adore that this type of representation is out there - and by representation I am not mentioning the #rep of the book (while that is very good), but the feeling it portrays. So much queer media we see is done to still be palatable to straight audiences. This is not your queer assimilationist story; this is not written to appease non-queer people. It takes a much more complex perspective to being queer, because it evokes a feeling that marginalized communities are not often allowed to express - anger. There is no place for the anger you build as a queer person in the world, no place for the ones who imagine tearing it all down, in common media. Wrath Month being July (after Pride Month in June) has been a joke in (at least some) queer circles online for years now, and the concept of queer stories having to be "clean" has been discussed for decades. This book brings these to the forefront of the public eye and it's so refreshing to see. I'm so glad this got published, but I'm also so confused how it did.

<blockquote><i>There's some king of awful, enduring myth: that after the end of the world, people will turn on one another. That people will become hateful and selfish. That's just not true. It's never been true.</i></blockquote>

Because the thing is... with this type of anger. It's intrinsically connected to love. In a world that tries to beat the community you love down, your defense mechanism, in the face of hopelessness, ends up being anger. Anger started the Stonewall riots, and the riots happened from unjust, incessant prosecution to the self and to the found family that people had in those spaces. Is that romantic? 100%. We should have so much more love and so much less contention for one another. Trans people particularly know the pitfalls and the failures of others in the LGBTQ+ community.... But I also believe it. Enter the profound aspect of found family in this story. It is so well done and allows for, even in the dire circumstances they find themselves in, such a diverse cast of characters and representations (including some people in the community being assholes).

<blockquote><i>We are alive, we are alive, holy shit, we are alive.</i></blockquote>

I was weary when I realized there was plague end-of-the-world thing going on, but seeing the masks playing a role in the story was actually kind of fun. The fantastical element was really fun to read, even if quite gore-y.


Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC. All opinions are my own.


<i><b>CW: Violence, Blood/Body horror/Gore, Vomit, Religious bigotry, Transphobia, Homophobia, Deadnaming, Dysphoria, Death, Rape/Sexual assault, Classism, Sexual content, Cursing, mentions of suicide attempt.</b></i>

Queer kids always have to fight for survival in a world that doesn't think they should exist, or against family who doesn't understand or accept them. Thankfully, it isn't *usually* in a post-apocalyptic hellscape where Christian evangelical eco-terrorists have unleashed vicious bioweapons against the world (dubbed The Flood) that destroyed most of the Earth's population. Soldiers dubbed Angels prowl the streets looking for non-believers to string up and kill,

Benji is their greatest victory, a trans boy infected with the flood to become something terrible and beautiful and vicious to behold, Seraph.

Benji also doesn't want to be their bioweapon and has never wanted what his mother or the rest of the cult has planned for him. When he escaped New Nazareth, only to see his Dad gunned down before being helped by a pack of queer teens. Faced with the options of running away, or making the Angels pay Benji chooses the latter.

Hell Followed with Us is a stellar addition to the YA Horror/Dystopia genre with a cast of unapologetically queer characters, a world that is on the brink of ruin, and villains that seem all too real in the way they're written.

Andrew Joseph White got me hooked in the first few sentences, and from there I could barely stop reading. When I say I finished the last 70% of the book in a single marathon-reading session I'm not joking.

It has the ease of language and the visceral plot choices that I so rarely see in traditional publishing, making it feel like I was reading fanfic. Which is to say it was smooth, subversive, and had me utterly enthralled.

If you love YA horror, are terrified of what the world could become, or were once a queer kid ready to bite a chunk out of a predatory world in order to survive, this book should ABSOLUTELY be on your TBR.

This book throws you right in. It doesn’t slowly break it all down for you. Just dunks you right into the story and forces you to figure out what is going on which is my preferred style. At first I had no clue what was going on and it just felt like watching a character get destroyed for no reason. But then it all starts to make sense and it’s just heartbreaking. To see everything Benji is running from was just gut wrenching. The imagery and the depth hit so hard and made it hard to keep from getting emotional. I wish I could break down what happens but I feel doing so minimizes the struggles so I’m just gonna say to go read it and experience it for yourself. It’s an eye opening must read.


Thanks to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC.

Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White

Edition: Ebook, 412 pages, first published in 2022

Disclaimer: I got this ARC from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity!

At first I wanna state that I won't make a summary of the story because the blurb is already perfect (which is not always the case). I don't feel the need to add something to it.

So let's start with my overall impression of the book:
I simply love it. From the first page on I was absolutely hooked!
Let's take a look at the author's notice before said first page. He wrote not only about trigger warnings, which I always appreciate very much at the beginning of a story (or at least a hint that there are some at the end of the book in case you don't want to know them), but some very honest things that are very heartfelt. I really liked that the book began with that, because the story itself is pretty heavy.

Every chapter is decorated with a very beautiful illustration and starts of with a quote from a memory, a statement or something out of the manifesto of the cult. In most cases they have something to do with what happens in the chapter. I am normally not a big fan of quotes but these are part of the story and they are enriching the plot, so big thumbs up here.

The story starts with a bang, captivating from the first page on. You'll get thrown into an intense point of action but it's easy to follow the story. The background informations, all what you'll need to know to understand what has happened and what is going to happen is delivered in easy to stomach portions which are only intensifying the curiosity of the reader. I enjoyed the whole composition a lot. The worldbuilding is amazing, the characters are unique and their development is very believable.

This book deals with some really heavy topics. Not only because it's dystopia and nearly all humans are dead but because of the survivors. The apocalypse happened only a few years ago and so the suffering and the loss are still pretty fresh, the trauma is there every second.
But that's nothing against these religious cultists, who have caused the Apocalypse themselves. They are blinded by their insanity and their "believe" in a god and see themselves as the judge and executioner after rules they invented. They kill, they torture, they hate, their own but more so the "non-believers".
I'm agnostic, I don't get religion and how people can shape their lifestyle after a book some dudes 2000 years ago allegedly wrote about a guy who said his dad was a non provable deity. I mean... what? How can people believe their are better than other based on that? I think religion is scary and that makes these cultist villains in this book so believable.
This book is cruel, unforgiving, dramatic, intense and still shows tiny rays of hope every now and then.
Even in the face of doom there will always some good people trying to do the right thing.

I loved the representation. There is so much! The MC is trans and gay, other important characters are gay, lesbian, nonbinary, autistic and more. I was very impressed how this whole "how does a trans kid lives in a world were there are no possibilities anymore to change their body" spiel was played out.

The one thing I didn't understand was why we got most of the story from Benji's first person perspective, but Nick's and Theo's part were told in third person perspective. I don't get why it was done like this. It just threw me off each time and I don't think it was to keep a bigger emotional distance to Nick and Theo because why would we have to do that? Their story parts were important too.

All in all this is a book I highly recommend and I am super grateful for the ARC. I will definitely buy it as a hardcover because the cover art is stunning!

As mentioned before, this book contains a lot of heavy topics and while I am recommending it, people should know what they are getting into, so let's end this review with
TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING:
Transphobia, Death on and off page, Fighting, Psychological Manipulation, Abuse, Mutation, Body Horror, Monster, Gore, Vomiting, Blood, Religionist, Killing, Sex (off on page), Death of a parent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Abuse, Hate crime