Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy of the audiobook for review. The audio was fine, but the book was problematic.

Content warning and spoilers re: Sexual Assault

I did not enjoy this book. I read to the 48% mark and reached what I will refer to as The Incident before I retired this audiobook. I was terribly bored the entire time, but had every intention of finishing it because I made a commitment to review it. Chapter 36 made me decide to put it down, because some books just aren’t worth it.

I will begin by saying that marketing this as a mystery or thriller is a mistake. There’s nothing thrilling about it. And the titular character of Caroline is as dull as the protagonist Nick, leaving very little mystery to surround them.

I make a conscious effort to read from a diverse range of authors. I’ve never read anything written by a sight-impaired author, which is interesting because sighted authors don’t think anything of describing physical items, a blind author cannot do that in the same way, and this book addresses that. I wish I had the chance to enjoy it.

The protagonist, Nick, is blind and his story is about practicing law, struggling to fit in at a law firm in the 1980s without his sight, and pursuing a passion for fiction writing by night. At his creative writing class, he meets a woman named Caroline. She is supposed to be some great mysterious seductress, but the most I really see from her is furniture shopping and meeting the parents. Very boring stuff.

And their sex life… well, we won’t call it spicy. She asks Nick to spank her cheeks, first one and then the other. He is immediately uncomfortable. What comes next should be uncharacteristic of someone shy to spank his girlfriend.

This brings me to The Incident. Chapter 36.

In an attempt to spice up their sex life, Caroline invites over her friend Doreen, gets her sufficiently boozed up to not really know what she’s doing, and undress her for Nick’s pleasure. At first, she does appear to consent, and he has sex with her in front of Caroline, for her pleasure. Doreen very quickly sobers up and revokes consent.

Unbothered, Nick simply changes over to Caroline, internally commenting that she “feels more like home” anyway. Even by 1980s standards, it was not socially acceptable to have nonconsensual sex with someone too drunk to consent. Doreen is screaming profanity at the two of them, finding her clothes, while they laugh and have sex with each other.

After the incident, Nick is looking to Caroline for reassurance that Doreen “wanted it.” And she reassures him, despite evidence that Doreen clearly did not want it. He does not once think to speak to Doreen, ask if she is okay or how she feels about the matter, or apologize. HE HAS CONCERN THAT SHE MAY HAVE PASSED A VENEREAL DISEASE TO HIM.

That’s evidence of a scum bag. And I don’t believe this is supposed to be an unlikeable character, but it is. They both are.

Perhaps the remaining 52% of the novel redeems them, but frankly, I don’t care.

I find this novel to be guilty of not only dullness, but of being completely tone deaf.

I will not recommend the book. I do strongly suggest having a content warning for future readers.

I loved Nick, he was such a deep person. Blind but so powerful on others types of feelings. Caroline was also so alive and so senstive. I felt so much their story, it touched my heart. I am so thankful for my family even not all is perfect and and many times is hard to go on. So is this book souch a vital story. It can happen to everyone. It depends on everyone how we cope with hard situations.

Thanks to Books Fluent publishers and Netgalley fir this audiobook.