To be completely honest, this is a subject that I can personally relate to. However, the book itself was so rigid that getting into it was difficult. I cannot say that I finished reading the book. I personally believe that the book would gain from having a more approachable feel and wording. However, I will definitely give it another try!

Are Christian ministers more "play-actors," mere "professionals," or "authentic persons?" With sky-high expectations from the public, the temptation is to become something less of ourselves. As the famous Shakespeare phrase says, "All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players." With a keen understanding of the human psyche, Shakespeare's comedy, "As You Like It," reminds us of the way we all tend to behave in front of other people. Like the professionals in a commercial on TV, people get paid to put on a facade by exaggerating the quality of a particular product or service. In fact, anyone in a public-facing environment would be tempted toward becoming something that they are not. Those of us in public ministries are not exempted from such temptations. We prefer praises rather than criticisms. If acting a little bit unlike ourselves would win more applause, many would. If doing something authentic invites vicious criticism, most dare not. This book casts a spotlight on situations where ministry personnel become professionals to look good in front of people rather than humble servants faithful to God's calling in Jesus. The thesis of this book is that the more we are in Christ, the more ourselves we become which in turn improves our authenticity in ministry. What does it mean to be fully ourselves? This is the key question that the author, Sarah Bereza will address. She adds that the closer we are to God's glorious light, the truer our colours will shine. Before one could deal with authentic ministering in love, there are seven barriers to overcome. These are:
Positional Expectation
Inadequate conceptual framework of Ministry
Unable to establish the realistic boundaries of neighbourhood
Struggle to manage the private/public image
Tackling Difficult Issues of Life
Sensitivity in Sharing; Navigating needs shared privately in the public sphere
Learning to Minister to People's Needs in spite of our feelings
Bereze gives us several aspects of the kind of foundation we all need to have. The first aspect is self-examination. We do this by asking a series of questions. What is the foundation for being fully ourselves? How do we prevent this from becoming self-centeredness or selfishness? What is healthy self-knowledge? Though she does not go into detail about the "interior work" we need to do prior to being fully present in ministry, these questions should guide our journey of self-awareness, and not let unholy versions take root. The second aspect to examine is our relationships. Not only do we provide counsel for others, but we also need counsel for ourselves. We need to be cared for as well. This will reduce our vulnerability to pitfalls arising from defensiveness. We need constructive feedback. That means having people we trust give us helpful feedback where necessary. Knowing that the person cares and has kind intent should reduce our resistance to change. The third aspect is our work environment. This is not simply the physical bricks and mortar buildings but the fit between skills and job. If there is no fit, or if there is a lack of competence, then we would not be able to become the best version of ourselves.

By leading us through the various pitfalls to avoid, we learn to become more observant of the things happening inside us even as we deal with the challenges of ministry. Bereza teaches us how to distinguish between authenticity and persona; honesty and hypocrisy; naturalness and pretense; etc. Toward the end, the author gives us some tips about honesty and being fully ourselves in a Church service.

My Thoughts
As a pastor, there is so much in this book that I could identify with. The temptations to shy away from our true selves are immense for different reasons. Despite our best intentions, there are multitudes of expectations from all kinds of people. I remember hearing a respected preacher sharing about his vulnerabilities and weaknesses on the pulpit. Many applauded his honesty and willingness to be open about his brokenness. At the end of the service, a Church member criticized him for not being a stronger leader to lead the weaker members of the congregation. At that moment, the preacher felt a sense of a "damned-if-you-do" and "damned-if-you-don't" situation. Being honest is not easy. If we only share 50% of ourselves and reserve the other half to protect other people's identities, is that honest enough? What about being 90% honest when we hide certain details out of privacy concerns? Will people then criticize for us being less than 100%? Pastors do have their own private lives, but sometimes, some Church members do not realize their struggles to manage private matters with public concerns. Establishing boundaries is never an easy thing. How do we ever achieve a balance? I would say, experience matters a lot. Trust too. Bereza manages to pinpoint many salient areas of temptations to be aware of. Some of the issues have no easy answers, especially the part about curating oneself and deceptiveness. Sometimes, withholding information for a while could be perceived as dishonest. Sharing information could be seen as a breach of confidentiality. Not sharing sensitive material could be deemed a lack of trust or openness. Drawing boundaries could also peel back years of trust in relationships. Moreover, issues too could have varying degrees of interpretation. What is allowable for some might be controversial for others. The way forward: Develop a "plurality of expressions." That means learning about different ways to express something so that more people will have a better understanding of the issues at stake. This needs time, experience, and lots of grace from all sides.

There are many practical issues that Bereza has highlighted. Many of them are spot-on with regard to why many ministry personnel tries to take the "professional" route instead of the "self-revealing" route. Spiritually, I think it is because of sin. Just like Adam and Eve who try to hide from God after eating the forbidden fruit, all of us have that tendency to hide something from others. It is also common to have husbands and wives hide things from each other. It is not easy to be fully ourselves. Even among the list of interviewees that the author had conducted, there are individuals preferring to use mere pseudonyms or without their full names.

I applaud Bereza for a bold attempt to highlight an oft-neglected matter of the need for honesty in the light of a society that is increasingly protective of their private and confidential lives. If there is one major challenge toward building true authentic communities, it is learning when to be public and when to be private. There is basically one main way to find that balance: Ask and communicate frequently. Even people who had given us permission before to share might change their minds sometime in the future. This book should give ministry people not only food for thought but reminders to be authentic without fear.

Sarah Bereza (PhD, Duke Univ.) shares resources for church staff, including a podcast (What Fresh Insight) and newsletter, at sarah-bereza.com. She lives in St. Louis, MO with her husband and two sons.

Rating:

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This book has been provided courtesy of Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.