A book that is more timely on its #pubday (at least here in the US) than I’m sure the author could have imagined, The Making of Her - the debut novel of Irish-Australian author Bernadette Jiwa - takes you on a journey that no one plans for, but that has impacted the lives of all too many women. More than that, it looks at the unrealistic and unattainable damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don’t standards that are thrust upon women. Beyond that, it looks at the havoc and destruction that such standards can create for everyone else.

What a wonderful captivating, heartbreaking, raw emotional story and so well portrayed.
From page one I was drawn in to the story and the lives of Martin, Joan and their grown up daughter Carmel
Joan’s and Martin met in the 1960’s and have a baby out of wedlock which they give up for adoption, not what Joan wanted. Every day she has missed the baby daughter she gave up. They have a second daughter some years later after they married and Joan struggles to connect with Carmel, she knows she is not the loving mother she should be.
Martin refuses to discuss the daughter they gave up. Joan had hoped when she turned 18 she might come to find her biological mother, she even bought a special birthday gift.
It’s years later that Joan receives a letter asking to meet and asking for help. Joan cannot say no. This letter causes a huge rift between her & Martin, their daughter Carmel can feel the tension between her parents and knows something is drastically wrong.
This story will pull at your heartstrings, a mother’s love never stops, the story is about love, relationships, family drama, power and hope for new beginnings. I didn’t want this book to end. Congratulations to this author. A top favourite read of 2022. )



Thanks to Net Galley and Penguin Group for an ARC of this book in exchange for a review

Overall, I loved the writing style and story of a woman finding her way in Ireland amid the societal and religious pressures of the times. Ms Jiwa does a beautiful job of showing the hard decisions made by Joan and the terrible repercussions. With a few sentences and descriptions, she creates the claustrophobia and limitations that Joan feels at her situation whether when she is a young woman caught in poverty and as a wife with a grown daughter and meddling mother-in-law. The tempo of the book was inconsistent for me as the flashback to London dragged and seemed to create less time for us to watch the present day situation. This meant that the time after Joan talked to Carmel seemed rushed. Carmel's acceptance of her mother after years of distance and rejection of her father seemed sudden and out of character. Overall, it is a moving story. I appreciated learning more about this time period and applauded as Joan finally took her life into her own hands.

This is Bernadette Jiwa's debut novel and it's a very good one. It will keep you turning the pages. Shedding some tears. Pulling your hair out. Wanting to kick Martin and Joan throughout the book. I was so angry at Joan until the last few chapters that I would have bit nails into. I throughly despised Martin from start to finish. He was a player and a user who wanted things his way and no other way. Well maybe his "mother's" way. Big mama's boy.

Joan and Martin were seeing each other but when his mother found out they had to hide their relationship. As much as he tried to keep her from finding out though of course she did. She sent him away to school in London to learn how to run the family business. He's a grown man so why did he have to go away to learn how to run any business that belonged to them? That part I found unbelievable. It was one way for his mum to control him is all. He let her too. But he did arrange for Joan to follow later so they could be together. Of course they could be in secret that way. Mommy would never find out. Joan gets pregnant and of course it is up to her to bear the "shame" of that. In the sixties men were not in fault at all. It was the woman or girl who was the tramp. Though Martin did promise to stand by her. He just could not bring that shame on his family or business. So he talked Joan into giving the baby up for adoption. She could not raise it on her own and certainly could not take it back to Dublin with her. So she finally agreed. Though for about a week she was livid with Martin.

Martin and Joan got married and lived in his family home with his Mummy. Of course mum is there. She's at the center of everything concerning Martin. They eventually have a child, a daughter, and live their life fairly peacefully. As long as Joan never mentions the child they gave up. Another little girl by the way. Martin had promised that someday they would see her again but of course that could not happen. His mum would find out their dirty little secret and he could not have that. Thirty years go by before Emma contacts Joan wanting to meet. Emma has a secret reason for this meeting also. Her son is dying and needs for Joan and Martin to be tested to see if they can save him. Neither Emma or her husband are a match. Joan of course does but Martin is absolutely not going to. What would his mum think. What would the people who he does business with think. No way. He's cold hearted about his own grandson.

Joan finally has enough and tells their daughter, Carmel, about everything. Carmel wants to get tested and begs her dad too but to no avail. He will not. Joan finally gets some backbone and leaves Martin and Carmel leaves the business.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS HERE:
This book was so good but that ending left me hanging. What happened? Did the transplant work? Was the child saved. Did Emma ever truly get to know Joan and forgive her completely for giving her up. I was left with a few questions that would not answered. This was a five start read until that ending. It left me scratching my head. While I was very proud of Joan finally for opening up to Carmen who she had pushed away for twenty seven years, I was angry at her for actually doing that. Carmen was her chance at being a mother after she gave up her first child. I think this book had so much potential. It kept me reading but then left me confused. It is all about a mother who was devastated at having to give up her daughter but then you don't know if they ever got to know each other completely or not. Did they become parts of each other's lives and did the two sisters have a relationship? I was just so disappointed in the ending.

Thank you #NetGalley, #BernadetteJiwa, #PenguinGroupDutton for this ARC. This is my own true thoughts about this book.

3.5 stars. I recommend you read for yourself. To me it was good but not great. It left to many questions for me.

This is a story that alternates between the past (1960s ) and the present ( 1990s ) about decisions made and the repercussions of those decisions felt through the years.
Joan was forced to make an impossible decision to give up her child, a decision that haunted her the rest of her life. That decision affected every aspect of Joan's life, every day. It dictated her relationships, drove cracks in her marriage and caused her grief, guilt and anxiety throughout.
This is a chilling, haunting story and the description caught my attention straight away, but something just did not click as I was reading. For me the story and characters did not live up to my expectations based on the book's description. I could not connect with the characters, to me everyone was unlikable and it just ended up being a struggle to read. I really wanted to like this book more, I tried, and did end up finishing though disappointed. I am sure others will enjoy it more than I did. Just not the book for me at this time.
Thank you to Penguin Group Dutton and Net Galley for the free ARC, I am leaving my honest review in return.

This was a great debut novel. I spent the first half of the book not liking Joan very much but as her backstory unfolds it becomes easy to see who Joan is. Martin did not keep up his end of the agreement and Joan suffered for that. Her transformation in the last quarter of the book was fantastic and when she finally stood up to Martin & his mother Molly it was excellent. Martin should have stuck up for Joan all along and moved them in to their own house early in the marriage. That would have made for a different story though and the one I read was just lovely.

Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for the chance to read this book.

Joan and Martin have enjoyed prosperous life and raising their daughter together. Their well crafted life comes to a halt by one phone call. A daughter they gave up for adoption years before needs help. A magnificently written story about strength, families and motherhood. What drives a family a part and the strength and resilience that keeps them together. This story gives a rollercoaster of emotions and it’s a beautiful story.

Disclaimer: Thank you to NetGalley and Dutton for this review copy, I received this review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

When I saw that The Making of Her by Irish author Bernadette Jiwa was pitched as a similar voice to Maeve Binchy, I had to check it out. I’ve read / loved several of the late author’s books filled with homey, colloquial characters. Jiwa’s voice comes through with a bit more sophistication, a definitive Irish landscape, and a narrower character POV scope of three women.

Dual timelines span from unwed Joan becoming pregnant in 1965, to 1996 when she and the child’s father are living a prosperous life together. They’ve raised one daughter—but it’s not their firstborn. Chapters are served up in clusters through the timelines, interspersing between Joan, her acknowledged / semi-estranged daughter Carmel, and older sister Emma, who was adopted. Emma, at age 30, has never desired to contact the family who abandoned her, until a health crisis drives her to do so.

Skillful writing and well-fleshed, empathetic main characters engaged me throughout the narratives, with hopes to see the women reconcile and find success in the challenging paths they’ve decided to traverse.

(Content warning: adoption) I got this book as an ARC through NetGalley. I liked this book, but didn’t love it. It’s split between Joan in the 1990s (current day) where she’s a married woman and a mother, and Joan in the 1960s where she’s a young woman and meeting her husband. Joan of today has everything that she didn’t have growing up – namely, money and stability – and her life seems perfect on the surface. But as more and more of Joan’s past is revealed, we learn that she had a child who she gave up for adoption years ago – and that child has just decided to reach out, but Joan and her husband have very different ideas on what they should do. The book was fine, but some of it just felt a little too predictable.

Joan Egan, the wife of Martin, the daughter-in-law of Molly, the mother of Carmel. By all accounts, this should be enough, right? They have money, they have a beautiful home, they live a life of ease. Or so it seems from the outside.

But of course, it couldn’t be that easy. If it were, what would be the point of the book? It would be three pages long, if that. So obviously, there has to be more to the story.

The “more” is Emma. Emma is the daughter that Joan and Martin gave up for adoption thirty years earlier in England, and when she sends Joan a letter asking for the favor of a lifetime, the perfect facade begins to crumble.

I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. I would have liked to get to know the characters a little better. The potential for depth was there, but then didn’t quite come through. However, the story itself was beautiful and very well-crafted.

Thanks to Bernadette Jiwa, Penguin Group Dutton and Netgalley for this ARC in return for my honest review.

A period book that really makes you feel the struggles of being pregnant before marriage in the 60s. How times have changed. Joan and Martin married in 1969, but previously had a baby out of wed lock. While Joan did not want to give up the child, she had no means to take of the baby girl and followed Martin's lead on the adoption. Fast forward to 1996 when Joan is contacted by her adult daughter who wants to meet. But not to make a connection. She needs help and Joan may be her last chance. This was an emotional read with lost of depth and very relatable characters,

The Making of Her takes us on a journey in Ireland in the 1960s and 1990s. Joan meets Martin by chance after leaving her job at a sweets factory and sees him laboring on his bike making deliveries for his father’s company. After purposely putting herself in his path one day, they begin to find reasons to meet each other in their free time. Once Martin’s mother discovers that he is seeing her, her disapproval is evident, so they attempt to meet in secret. After one encounter, Joan finds herself pregnant. Unmarried and not in a financial place to raise a child, she gives her baby that she named April, up for adoption.

Fast forward to the 1990s and Joan finds a letter addressed to her. Upon opening the letter, she finds the child she gave up for adoption thirty years ago contacting her and wanting to talk to her. Joan hasn’t mentioned the child she gave up to the child she and Martin had after getting married. Martin is also not in favor of contacting their child they gave up and it causes tensions to run high in their household. Emma née April has a sick child and is seeking a donor to help cure him. Will Joan find herself willing to help Emma or will she honor Martin’s wishes to have nothing to do with Emma and her family?

The Making of Her takes us back and forth between the timelines to fill in what happened leading up to the adoption and Joan’s journey to discover her daughter and what could have been. I found Joan’s complexity in regards to her role as a mother fascinating to follow. Even though she is a mother to grown children, you see how the loss of her mother early in life, her fractured relationship with her mother-in-law, as well as the time in which she was developing what her role in the household was during the 1960s stunted her nurturing side. As is in so many storylines, we see Joan come full circle, blossom into who she always had inside her, and realize her power as a woman in the face of uncertainty.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for the advanced copy. Opinions expressed are my own. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#netgalley #arc #bernadettejiwa #themakingofher #penguinrandomhouse

An awesome book about choices we make when we are younger that can affect us for the rest of our lives. It's about A mother and a daughter. Its about family and what that means. Most of all its about second chances.
Joan falls for Martin instantly when she sees him trying to get his bike up the hill to deliver materials. It takes awhile but they eventually meet and fall in love. Martin is to inherit a business and his mother makes no secret that she doesn't approve of his sons choice. She even makes them stop seeing each other. All that changes when Martin leaves for school and invites Joan to go with him. Joan decides to sleep with him one weekend and Martin swares he'll take care of her. Then she starts to show and Martin changes his mind. He all but insists that they give up the baby. Joan goes along with it because of lack of choice not because she agrees. A part of her dies that day.
The story is told from Joan's point of view and switches between now and the 60's when Joan was growing up. I loved to see the difference between how she is now and what made her that way. It really gives the reader a connection with the character. I felt for her so much. The novel is a good look into how women were treated in the 60's and how limited their choices were.

Joan grew up poor, married rich. But her husband was such an ahole, and his mum was so toxic. 30 years ago she gave up a child to avoid scandal, and then married him. Like hello man! Man up and marry her before the baby came. Alas no, he was an idiot and this was the 60s . I get it. It could have been much worse for her. Catholic institutions back then, yikes, she was lucky. And I guess I have to give him some credit for marrying her.

The book takes place back then, and in now. The child that was given up comes back. But honestly, Emma was not that nice either. I mean if she had listened to her mum. I can't say I liked anyone in this book.

I think it could have been more interesting if more about the 60s and less about a middle aged couple bickering

Absolute lovely novel of a woman's mental anguish with regrd to abortion and adoption.

This story is so well crafted with layers that struck so many emotions and thoughts about the situation as well as the characters.

Great read!

Joan and her husband live in comfort, along with their daughter Carmel. She has been keeping a secret for 30 years from everyone she knows, even her daughter. Both Joan and Carmel work at the business and Martin's mother lives with them. The mother is one nasty piece of work and Joan has just about had enough. How much can one woman take from another woman? Joan is at her wit's end.

Prior to her marriage, Joan lives with her sister Teresa and their father. They come from a family of five and when their mother dies in childbirth, the younger siblings are removed from the home. After this happens, the father starts drinking heavily, not being able to care for the family, as soon as they can the girls get jobs just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

While working at the Candy Factory, she meets and falls in love with a delivery boy, unbeknownst to her, he is the heir to the family business, just doing deliveries between his schooling and breaks. They start dating, fall in love, and then Joan gets pregnant.

Martin has her come to England and live and work in a boarding house with a very nice lady who helps Joan all she can.

Joan is mistaken about the notion that they will get married and she will have a nice little family. Not happening as Martin is insisting that she give the baby up for adoption. She is horrified by the notion of giving her baby away but Martin can not see reason. "What will people think?" In the 60s it was taboo to get pregnant if unmarried. Joan capitulates and gives up her baby. She is absolutely heartbroken for 30 years and her relationship with Martin is strained almost to the breaking point. She is beginning to hate her mother-in-law and despises Martin for not standing up to her.

A letter arrives from the daughter she gave up for adoption wanting a favor from Joan. This favor is very important to Emma and her family. It could mean life and death. Joan talks to Martin about it but he forbids her from seeing the daughter, again "What will people think?" Joan has had enough at this time, tells Carmel about her past life, and decides with Carmel's help to help Emma.

Written in such a compassionate way and depicts how life was for unmarried pregnant women in the 1960s. I was rooting for Joan this whole time, hoping that she would finally stand up to Martin and tell him to go fly a kite! She needs to be able to make amends for her oldest daughter.

I love any book that takes place in Ireland and a story of an unwed, pregnant woman in Ireland really did have dire consequences for the mother and child. Most of the women were sent to live in what was called the Magdalene Laundries. That did not happen in Joan's case but she still lived with the guilt of what they had done.

This book I thought was very inspiring, what a person will go through and still persevere! I give the book 4 stars.

I received a copy for review purposes only.

I was super excited to read this from the moment I read the summary and saw the cover. Right up my alley.

The beginning was a little slow, but then I couldn't stop reading after about 30%. I had to know what was going to happen to our characters. I am truly invested in Joan, Carmel, and little Ben. I hope we get a book 2 because there are a lot of stories left that is for sure. I would love to see Joan find her lost siblings too. Poor thing went through so much.

Grrr to Martin and his toxic Mother. And I'm not feeling Emma right about now.

Overall I enjoyed this. It needed more though. I hope we get a book 2!!!!! More please.

I read The Making of Her by @bernadettejiwa on the flight to Denver earlier this week and I really enjoyed this debut novel!

I love books set in Ireland and with the comment for fans of Maeve Binchy I was immediately interested in Making of Her. It's a book about family secrets and coming together set in Dublin in the 1960s and 1990s.

Joan has kept a secret for 30 years and when she receives a letter from the daughter she was coerced into giving up for adoption her life is turned upside down. Her daughter needs help and the only person who knows she has a child is her husband, the baby's father. Joan is ready to come to terms with the choice she made even if it cracks an already strained marriage.

I loved how this book went back and forth between time periods and ultimately the decisions Joan made. This was a character driven novel and while they aren't usually my favorite I was drawn in this story and liked the emotions and read it in one sitting on the plane!

In Dublin 1996 Joan and Martin Egan are living well with the success of their family business. Their daughter Carmel is poised to take over for her parents at some point. Then Joan receives a letter from Emma, the daughter she and Martin gave up for adoption thirty years ago. Her reaction, and the reactions of her closest family, will change how Joan feels about both the past and the future.

I will fully own that this story hit close to home for me and probably colored my review, but I loved this book. Told mostly from Joan's point of view (with a few chapters from Carmel and Emma's POV), Joan is forced to reconcile her past and the choices she made with where her is life is at currently. I felt the writing was excellent and all the characters rang true for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for providing me with an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book is out now.

The Making of Her is set in Dublin, with a dual timeline. It opens in the 90s, with Protagonist, Joan, living a very upper middle class life with her husband, Martin and daughter, Carmel. From all outward appearances, theirs is a happy life, yet it’s obvious from the start that Joan is holding back, The reason for her sadness becomes apparent when she receives a letter from the daughter she and Martin relinquished many years ago . Flashback to the 60s and we find a teenage pregnancy and a very conflicted couple who feel they have nowhere else to turn. Martin is all for relinquishing, and seemingly accepts the outcome and carries on as if it never happened. Joan is never entirely comfortable with their decision. The effects are very detrimental and eat away at the marital relationship as negatively affect Joan’s mothering of Carmel.. the author does a very convincing job of creating a mood as well as setting the environment and mores of the 60’s. This was a quick read, if somewhat depressing along the way. Joan welcomes a second chance with her first daughter, but many things have to change.
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity of an early read in exchange for an honest review.
#NetGalley. #The Making of Her