I thought that Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance would be more thriller than it was but it was an engaging read. The writer and narrator captured the widespread, long-lasting grief that an tragic accident brings. I thought it was a realistic portrayal with well-described unhappy characters who seem to eventually adjust. Great narrator.

Thank you Netgalley and MacMillan Audio for this advance listener copy in exchange for my honest review.

I absolutely loved this book. It was gut wrenching at times, but such a beautiful story. I normally don't like stories written in the second person (you), but I don't think this one could have been done any other way. This story is written sort of like a letter from one woman to her dead sister. It's raw and it's real and full of emotion.

Sally and Kathy are sisters that are extremely close. They love to spend summer days at the pool going drooling over a local boy named Billy. By the end of the summer, Kathy and Billy are an item. Until one day, a tragic accident takes Kathy's life and Sally is never the same.

There is so much emotion in this story. It takes place over the course of 15 years, including before Kathy's death and after. It's marketed as a love story and there is a love story there, but to me this felt more like a coming of age family drama. This book delves into what grief looks like. And not in a pretty way. The death scene was so powerful that it had me in tears. I don't normally cry during books, but this one was intense. These characters were so real and so relatable. I really didn't want the story to end. The audio was great, everything about it was great. This was the first 5 star read I've engaged in for quite some time!

Notes on your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Espach’s debut was a haunting tale of a girl navigating life after losing her sister. She feels connected to her sister’s boyfriend, finding comfort in his presence despite her fathers disdain for him.

The writing perfectly captured so many different stages of life, like how ridiculous middle school problems are in hindsight but how very real they are in the moment, visiting your parents as empty nesters, and dealing with every day life in the midst of grief.

In general, I avoid fiction that carries so much weight, but I loved this. The writing was phenomenal and the story shed so much light on how certain relationships impact our relationships with everyone else around us.

4 ⭐️

I went through phases with this book. I loved a lot of it; I even cried while I was listening as I drove, making for a very dangerous commute to work. I know it was about a girl growing up. We see her from young childhood through middle school to graduating high school and as a full fledged adult at the age of 28. But the thing about a book that takes place over that span of time is there is a lot of filler. Some of the filler moves the story forward, yes, but there are a lot of thoughts that Sally shares in her narrative that are a bit… much. We don’t need all these details and the book could have been shorter. All in all, a great read.

Thank you to NetGalley and MacMillan audio for the audiobook!

Notes On Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach is a sad story about two young close-knit sisters who are suddenly torn apart by a tragic accident. Sally is left reeling from the loss of her sister and proceeds to narrate her life to her sister so that she knows what is happening as Sally grows up. This is truly a coming-of-age story told in a heartbreaking manner. I really enjoyed the audio format of this book and would recommend it. The narrator did an excellent job of narrating in a way that gave each character their own voice. Read and enjoy!

The audiobook narrator significantly increased my enjoyment of this book--their delivery forced me to laugh and cry exactly when the book asked me to. I found Sally to be relatable and endearing, even at her worst. I have mixed feelings about ambiguous ends, so the cliffhanger was a bit frustrating, but I understand that what would have come next were messy logistics that I'm not sure I'd even want to read. In all, I thought the audiobook was fantastic and I was thoroughly engrossed and entertained by both the narration and the coming of age story.

Thank you to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for an audio copy in exchange for an honest review.

Sally and her older sister Kathy were best friends growing up; they spent all of their time together even shared a bedroom. Their favorite pastime was to talk about the boy they were both in love with, Billy Barnes. He and Kathy were in the same class so every evening Kathy would tell Sally every little detail she learned about him. As they grew up Kathy and Billy became very close and eventually started dating. Sally loved being around her sister and Billy. One day on the way to school tragedy strikes and Kathy is killed in a car accident with Billy behind the wheel. Sally and everyone else must do their best to cope with the unthinkable loss and try to move forward, but when Sally and Billy become close it may be too much for anyone to handle.

Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is told in story form, from Sally speaking directly to Kathy, over the course of 15 years, which I thought was very interesting and enjoyable. Everyone involved is struggling with how to bear their grief and guilt over losing Kathy. It is interesting character study especially to watch Sally grow up and yet never really leave her sister behind. Its a sad novel but an excellent read. I had the audio version narrated by Jesse Vilinsky who was also excellent. I would recommend this book.

Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach was a powerful book about the themes of loss, grief and love. Aren’t we all guilty at times of being complacent about life and all we hold dear to us? Life can change in the blink of an eye. All that we took for granted can be snatched away so quickly. The members of the Holt family have had to come to terms with that exact reality. They would each discover their own way to grieve, accept or not accept, and live with the fate their family had been dealt. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance was told from the perspective of Sally, the younger of the two daughters in the Holt family. It was tender and moving. I listened to the audiobook of this beautifully written book. It was satisfyingly narrated by Jesse Vilinsky.

A relationship between two sisters can be quite beautiful. Kathy and Sally Holt had a special bond with each other. Sally, the younger of the two sisters, looked up to her big sister and admired her very much. The two sisters were quite different in appearance and in their personalities. They grew up in a small town in Connecticut during the early 1990’s. Sally and Kathy shared a childhood bedroom and often confided in each other. Kathy always answered all of Sally’s never ending questions about life, love and even about her boyfriend, Billy Barnes. The one thing that the sisters had in common was their mutual infatuation for Billy. It was well known that Billy was popular and was a basketball star with a promising future in the sport. Billy became Kathy’s boyfriend though, not Sally’s.

One morning, Billy arrived at the Holt house to drive Kathy to school. Sally was determined to get Billy to agree to drive her to school as well. Even though Kathy opposed the idea, Sally had the upper hand in this. The night before, Kathy had gone out with Billy. She had convinced Sally to take notes on The State of the Union speech for her that would be televised that evening. Kathy was having a quiz on it the next morning. Sally was reluctant to comply but she did. During the speech, Sally’s mother revealed something about her feelings for the President. Sally wrote some of her mother’s remarks in her sister’s notebook. That morning, as the three were driving to school in Billy’s car, Kathy insisted that Sally give her the notes that she had taken for her the previous evening. Kathy immediately noticed what Sally had written about their mother and she became upset. She was shocked by what Sally had revealed about their mother but upset because she had to turn her notes in. How could she let her teacher see what Sally had written? Kathy insisted that Billy drive faster so she would not be late for her quiz but then the unthinkable happened. Life would never be the same for Sally, Billy or Sally’s parents ever again.

Through Sally’s POV, loss and grief were explored with true compassion and sincerity. Losing a child is devastating. Losing a sibling is unbearable. Losing the person you love is tragic. Loss is felt in all different degrees and can bring with it denial, guilt, intense hurt and the lack of the ability to want to move on. Sally, Billy and Sally’s parents experienced all these emotions and more. Blame was also a factor that was instilled and felt. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance examined all these feelings about the effects of a devastating loss. It was beautifully written and the ending was so completely satisfying. The characters were believable and so well developed. This was my first book that I have read by Alison Espach but would definitely seek out future books by her. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach and highly recommend it.

Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

This is book written from the perspective of younger sister Sally Holt as though she is telling her sister Kathy the "notes" of her life. It starts off with the two sisters: Kathy being in love with Billy and Sally's thoughts on the relationship and Sally's own wishes for a relationship. Of course, when Kathy "disappears" the book takes the turn from just a coming of age story and a love story, to one of loss and grief.
I enjoyed the story. I enjoyed the journey. I felt grief and love was amalgamated and explored. I had a couple of issues. One is the title. "Disappearance" gives the impression of a murder mystery. I would have preferred a totally different title, but that's just me.
I don't know why the story is addressed to Kathy. I just feel, if it was written as a story, with a 3rd person narrator, or even as a first person narrator addressing the reader, it might have felt better. It was the element of essentially saying that Kathy's disappearance is just as powerful on the first day as it is 15 years later and I had issues buying into that perspective because it somehow took away from a beautiful story.
Despite my title and perspective qualms, I totally enjoyed this book and loved reading it.

In case anyone is wondering, this is NOT a thriller/suspense novel like I originally thought it would be. Instead, it’s a coming of age story. There are some explicit scenes/language within this book, so keep that in mind when reading.

This story is written like a letter from Sally, to her older dead sister Kathy. She writes about their time starting in kindergarten and continues on through the loss of her sister and the years proceeding it. What’s interesting is that the narrator speaks with the maturity she’s in at that moment of time, although it appears that she’s written this letter to her sister as an adult.

I honestly don’t have many thoughts about this one, one way or the other. There were some parts that I thought that were devastatingly sad and other parts that were funny, but there were also a lot of parts that I found gave me no feelings at all. Even by the end of the story, I wasn’t sure what the point of it was. I’m sure that some people will enjoy this one, but I just thought it was okay.

Thank you to NetGalley for the audio version of this book. I really enjoyed this book. It is not normally what I read but I did enjoy it. The title threw me off when I dont feel it was really a sudden disappearance. yes losing a loved one suddenly is hard due to a motor vehicle accident. the title had me thinking it would be an abduction. Either way thats trivial. This book follows a girl into adulthood and she is remembering her life with her sister and it also dwells around the sisters boyfriend who the sister who is telling the story is basically obsessed with. theres many twists and turns in this book around the sister and the boyfriend. it was a good book overall

Although this book wasn't exactly what I was expecting after reading the publisher description, I was taken with the depths it went in exploring grief. I would describe it as a coming of age character study that pulled the reader into a family tragedy and their experience with grief. The entire story was focused on this topic and began when the narrator was a young girl, idolizing her older sister, and continued through the span of her life until later adulthood.

There were moments that broke my heart and had me feeling emotional. However, in many instances, the MC was a little too matter-of-fact in her account. For me, it lacked warmth and created some disconnect between me and the MC - particularly as she aged. I enjoyed both the psychological and relational aspects however.

I wanted to love this book but the grief aspect overwhelmed me at times and made my reading experience a little one note. It was a good read but not a great read for me.

The audio narrator did a wonderful job and I recommend the audio version.

Thank you to MacMillan Audio and Netgalley for an advanced audio copy in exchange for an honest review.

I went into this book not knowing too much. But from the title I made the assumption it would be a little bit of a Suspense or mystery/thriller, thinking the sister disappeared. When in actuality she didn’t disappeared but she died. I didn’t really like any of the characters very much. I felt bad for the mother because she never seemed to move on she seemed stuck in her grief. Sally seemed socially awkward at first and seemed to gain popularity following her sister’s death. I did not feel comfortable with The relationship between Billy and Sally. Sally seemed obsessed with Billy. I didn’t dislike the book, It was just ok for me.

Sally and Kathy Holt are as close as sisters can be. They share a room and all their secrets. That is, until that one day at the local pool when Sally almost drowned. That was the day that Billy Barnes first noticed them. The lifeguard hadn’t been paying attention to her job, but Billy saw that Sally was in trouble, and he jumped into the pool to save her. Their mother invited him over for dinner. He accepted. From that point on, Kathy and Billy were inseparable.

Sally struggled with her sister dating. Kathy was a couple of years older, but the two had been almost inseparable. And then Sally was left behind as Kathy spent all her time with Billy. Kathy told her all about the relationship, but Sally still felt left out. So much so that she insisted Billy drive her to school one morning. The night before, Kathy had gone out with him even though she was supposed to be watching the State of the Union address by President Bill Clinton. She asked Sally to take notes for her, and she had, but that means she has something that Kathy wants. So in exchange, she insists that Billy drive her to school.

As they’re going down Main Street, Kathy telling Billy to drive faster, she comes across a note Sally had written about their mother the night before. Kathy is asking Sally about it, Billy is looking at them to see what is going on, and he misses the deer in the middle of the road. When he turns to see the deer, he swerves, the front of the car going right into a tree. Billy tells Sally to run and get help, since she was in the back seat and was able to get out of the car.

Billy was injured in the accident but Kathy was killed on impact. And Sally, and her parents, are never the same.

As time goes on, Sally finds herself being drawn to Billy. She doesn’t go looking for him, but when she bumps into him, she starts talking to him. They talk online, and then later they talk on the phone late at night.

But eventually, Billy goes off to college, and later Sally does, and they lose touch. As the years go by, Sally finds herself moving away from Kathy’s memory and becoming more herself. After college, she decided to travel in Europe before settling down in New York City. She starts dating a lawyer and ends up engaged to him, freelancing as a writer and talking to her therapist about Kathy’s death and her own future.

And then her parents call. There is a big storm coming, coincidentally named Hurricane Kathy, and they want to know if Sally will come home for the storm. She decides to go, and when she finds out that Billy is back in town, having taken over his father’s garden center, she goes to his store. Her father is threatening to cut down their old trees himself, and she wants to find someone to give him a hand. But how will she deal with seeing him again after all those years, with Hurricane Kathy heading their way?

Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is part coming-of-age, part love letter from one sister to another. It’s a study of sisterhood, of grief, of finding yourself after a tragedy. Author Alison Espach has crafted this moving story of growing up and figuring out who you are and who you want to be. There is a lot of sadness in this story, but there is also healing, and it’s a genuinely interesting story to follow.

I listened to the audio book of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance, and narrator Jesse Vilinsky brings Sally’s voice to life. It takes some getting used to, as the way Sally’s voice is written, especially early in the book, there is a lot of conversations where the back and forth are punctuated with “he said” and “she said.” It gets repetitive and almost tedious, but it also serves a purpose. The way Sally tells these stories is an extension of how she thinks, how she organizes information. So the more you get to know Sally (and the older and more sophisticated her thinking gets), the more you understand Espach’s choice in using that repetition.

I found myself swept up by Sally’s story. I was surprised by the depth of the trauma, of Sally’s recovery, of Sally’s growth. And hearing the snippets of Billy’s story is so powerful. There were moments I found myself crying at this book, and yet I kept wanting to go back for more. Honestly, I was sad when I got to the end. I thought the storm at the end was inspired, and it was the perfect metaphor for the ghost of Kathy that haunted these individuals for so long. I would definitely recommend this one, but keep those tissues at hand because you will need them at unexpected moments.

A copy of the audio book for Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance was provided by Macmillan Audio through NetGalley, with many thanks.

I was so close to giving this a 5! I really loved how it was written. I read the first 70 % and listened to the rest on audio. The audio narrator was perfection and this book translated perfectly to audio, I felt like the narrator was talking to me and telling me her story.

So why the 4 instead of 5? One thing I could have done without is I thought there was a lot of mentions of animal deaths I could have done without these. Another thing was the end I just wanted more. I went into this one thinking this was a thriller or mystery, but I would describe this as a dark coming of age story/literary fiction. If you go into this expecting a mystery you might be slightly disappointed so please don’t make that mistake.

Other then my thoughts above I thought this was perfect. I loved the writing so much. And I can’t wait to read more from this author. I felt the way the grief was written in this story was so relatable and I loved how real life events were woven into this story to make it feel more real.

Thanks to Henry holt and Macmillan audio for my copies!

This book in its essence is a deep exploration of grief. We follow Sally Holt as she writes to her older sister Kathy. Kathy and Sally had a special sisters bond and when Kathy developed a crush on Billy Barnes, Sally was at her side to ogle him at the pool and watch from afar. When Kathy and Billy start dating Sally continues to watch them and hear from her sister about their developments.
One day tragedy strikes and Kathy is gone. Billy is no longer a staple in Sally's life but she is not okay with that. They develop a friendship that Sally clings to as she grieves for her sister.

If you want a book that is one girl to woman's letter of grief and how she shows and expresses her grief over time then pick this up. My struggle with the book is that is was never anything else. I saw the ending of this book from the outset and it was just a slow and winding road to get there. Life I said in my heading I wanted to love this book, I really did, but for me it just fell short of my hopes and expectations.

This may be a great book, but I couldn't finish it because I honestly could not stand the narrator. Her voice just grated on me and I hated her little kid tone. It was obnoxious and didn't sound like a child at all to me, but rather a caricature of what an adult thinks a child should sound like.

The loss of a child brings the kind of inconsolable grief that defies comprehension. I was glued to the news yesterday as the reports of a horrific school shooting broke across the US. This too common occurrence hit me with sadness, frustration, and hopelessness. It probably didn't help that I was nearly finished reading a book that hit very close to the subject matter. Alison Espach's Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance deals with the tragic death of a child and its impact on the family. When I accepted a copy of the novel from the publisher, I was drawn to the summery image on the cover, unaware of what the book was actually about. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is an ode to the family bond and the power of love in spite of despair. It amounts to a literary journey that is far more emotional and impactful than your typical summer read.

It is safe to say that Sally Holt idolizes her older sister, Kathy. Sally loves that her sister seems to know everything about everything. The pair are inseparable as they spend that last summer together. Sally soaks up every moment and bit of information as she prepares to start her first year in high school. Kathy develops a crush on Billy, the attractive boy who has drawn the eye of many of the local girls since his daredevil antics back in the fifth grade. Before the end of the summer, Billy and Kathy officially begin dating, and they reluctantly let Sally tag along. It isn't unusual then that Billy and Kathy give in to Sally's begging and agree to take her to school. By the end of the day, Kathy will be dead, and Billy and Sally will be left to pick up the pieces.

The next fifteen years see Sally learning to live in her sister's absence. She has lost the one person she could trust, confide in, and just be herself with. Sally can't help but blame Kathy's death on herself. She was the one who insisted Billy and Kathy drive her to school that day. Had she not done so, her sister may still have been alive. The impact of Kathy's death doesn't stop with Sally. We see Billy struggling to accept his hand in the tragedy, turning away from his bright future to a self-destructive path that no one can stop him from following. The parents of both girls are equally impacted. Their relationship devolves into one party unable to accept the reality of their loss as the other simply wants to move past it. All of this comes together to form a somber coming of age story that you can't help but absorb.

Everyone deals with heartbreak differently. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance sees Alison Espach present her own contemplations upon grief and loss through the eyes of a young woman directly in the process of dealing with it. By having the younger sister of the tragically lost girl narrate the novel, we are provided with an intimate view of a family and community dealing with their agony. Despite the melancholy subject matter, I was struck by how funny the book could be. The dichotomy between grief and humor seems to go hand in hand. After all, there cannot be darkness without light to compare it against. Espach never dares to pretend to have any answers. Grieving is such a personal process, that it would be impossible to say whether this is the right or wrong way. Instead, she writes an intimate novel that allows her characters to naturally go through life, making decisions that seem authentic to each of them. This is a powerful novel that delves into subject matter that may not be everyone's ideal reading material. Still, I'm glad to have read and experienced this thoughtfully written narrative.

🛟👧Notes on your sudden disappearance👧

✍️: Alison Espach
✨:⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thank you so much @netgalley and @macmillian.audio for my audio ARC of this one!

I really wish I had known what this book was about before I read it. I usually go into books blind, I don’t like having any preconceived notions or ideas but I usually at least know the genre so it’s fine. I had this one all wrong and it caused me not to like the book as much.

This book is not a thriller or a gripping story with lots of action (as I was anticipating). It’s a coming of age story. It’s the story of a young girl, telling her sister of her life, her thoughts, her feelings, goings on in her life, from when she was a young girl looking up to her, through the tragedy of her death, and the aftermath of living life without her. We follow Sally from middle school through young adulthood, and we hear about her grief, her family, and both eventful and mundane things that happen in her life. I wish I had known what to expect in this book because for the first half I was bored and waiting for the ‘story’ to start. I took a break then, once I realized what the book was and I enjoyed the second half so much more. Sally’s story is moving and deep, and I found myself relating to so much of her life and her way of thinking. I am giving this 3⭐️‘s because I was bored and almost quit but I think if I’d gone into this with different expectations it would have been much higher!

Do you read a books synopsis before you start reading? I honestly never do! I like to know the genre but that’s it- those multiple paragraph synopses give so much away and I would much rather be surprised by the story ☺️

This story is about sisters and grief and going on after something terrible happens. It is told from Sally's point of view as if she is talking to her older sister, Kathy. It is about how ordinary life is altered forever after a tragedy. It is definitely not a feel good kind of book but it is hopeful in the end.

What worked for me:
- mostly likable and relatable characters
- an enjoyable relationship between sisters that is true to life
- it puts you in that "what would I do/say/react" headspace over and over
- I kept wanting to see what was going to happen to these people. I wanted them to heal and be able to move forward so badly.

What didn't work for me:
- some chapters were long and probably could have been more tightly edited