In publishing I Hear the Black Raven, Claire Ishi Ayetoro has chosen to unselfishly share a personal experience that many can relate to, but few elect to share.

People who live with mental illness will find a voice of understanding in this book, which refuses to back away from the reality of bipolar disorder. In offering this vivid insight into lived experience of the condition, the author proudly blows the lid off stigma and shame and lays bare the reality with language so descriptive as to be almost confronting.

"One day as I sat up thinking in my room, my thoughts turned toward the gun.
I no longer felt the need to touch it."

That was it for me, too. For a very long time, everything was dark, and then one day it wasn't anymore. I don't know how to explain it and I'm still constantly thinking: "am I out or am I in the eye of the storm?". But the thing is: the voice, the raven, always whispers of hope and persistence.
I think in a way, the author has a similar voice to that raven. By sharing and voicing her experiences simply, she created this atmosphere that felt similar to an encounter, like a sunny day when you sit in a park, meet a stranger and you're not afraid to share your story.
Through this memoir I got to understand BD better and it definitely changed my perspective on it. I don't have any experience with it, so this book helped me realise its nature and proportions.
I'm glad I had the opportunity to read this book.

In publishing I Hear the Black Raven, Claire Ishi Ayetoro has chosen to unselfishly share a personal experience that many can relate to, but few elect to share. This bittersweet “petit memoir” is a hand held out to a stranger, an elegy to a former self, and a love letter to one’s present and future.

This memoir traces the author’s path from driven and high achieving teen through twentysomething in the midst of a full blown mental health crisis to resilient and self-aware advocate. She is unflinchingly candid in her description and analysis of herself at each moment on the journey. Despite the brief nature of the memoir, the author’s detailed analysis of her thoughts, motivations, and experiences provide a sense of fullness to the story. As a reader it could be uncomfortable to read the accounts of the manic psychosis episodes and the disordered thinking. However, the rawness of sharing those experiences reinforces Ms. Ayetoro’s determination to supersede these moments and to empathetically connect with and support others who experience similar challenges.

As the title suggests, the author’s experiences are interwoven with the narrative of a black raven who visits her at points along her timeline bringing messages of encouragement or portends of challenges to come. While I generally find this mechanism additive to a story, in this case it contrasted too strongly with the almost scholarly tone of the memoir. To fully integrate this narrative mechanism would require a shift in tone and a more skillful application of the mystical element represented by the raven.

Ultimately, this memoir is a stark but hopeful look at the experience and impact of mental illness and could be valuable to readers experiencing or responding to mental illness in their own lives. Ms. Ayetoro’s contribution is yet another step in the destigmatization of this part of the human experience.

My gratitude goes out to NetGalley and Equal Age for access to this advance review copy in exchange for an unbiased review.

“I've noticed that there are at least two perks to having a mental illness: I get to use mind-altering drugs legally, and I get to take frequent breaks from reality.” This observation by author Claire Ishi Ayetoro provides a startling abstract of the events that served to transform her life at the blossoming age of 25. She tells her riveting story in her debut memoir, I Hear the Black Raven: A Petite Memoir. For this quiet, studious black girl who had already accomplished so much as a scholar, a mentor, an artist (in 3-D woodwork, no less), a spoken-word poet, a published musician, and a writer, life's creative trajectory was going as planned. Her entire life was straight A in everything. She didn't take it for granted; that was just the way it was.

But her reality becomes suddenly derailed when she experiences—in a dramatic way—her first full-blown manic episode. Diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder, episodes do not always end well for the author, and she takes us through every conceivable emotion appropriate for the scene. It's like Ayetoro is inside her own mind, dissecting each motive, conscious and subconscious. To her credit, Ayetoro is so keenly aware of how and what she is feeling when in an episode that she is able to translate those feelings more than adequately in this surprising memoir. The reader feels exactly what Ayetoro intends. Through her uncanny, intuitive wit, she comes to understand her mental illness, and ultimately learns, through harrowing trials, education, and medical treatment, to successfully live with and manage her mental illness.

I would be amiss if I paid no mention to the black raven of the memoir's title. After providing an interesting but brief history of myths of the black raven, we are left to judge for ourselves which path we choose to guide us through Ayetoro's story. The black raven can be dark—or light.

Ayetoro's black raven first appears after a cataclysmic event that shocked the author, and will have the same effect on the reader. She manages to pack within this beautifully wrapped 4”x6” gem adversity, obstacles to overcome, moments of insanity. A raven can soar in any direction of its choosing.

I was relieved to find that this symbolic bird, for purposes of the story, directed Ayetoro down a path of sheer light. It is good to know she continues sharing her light through her professional work. I Hear the Black Raven is a satisfying, inspiring story of short but impactful life lessons embracing Bipolar 1 disorder: a petite memoir told in a most poetically fresh and creative way.

In our society mental illness has a negative stigma. Despite this stigma Claire Ishi Ayetoro bravely and honestly writes about her experiences from being diagnosed with bipolar disorder to the challenges of living with the disorder. The mini memoir was eye opening and vividly depicted mania and depression.

Claire Ishi Ayetoro has opened up dialogue about mental illness and bipolar disorder in such a succinct, powerful way. Her writing is magnetic and informative, and she is unapologetic in the way she discusses topics that have been misspoken about in the past.

I'd only say that there were some parts that didn't quite feel in place for me, or felt underdeveloped. Perhaps that's due to the small size of the memoir, but the narrative in itself didn't feel fully baked.

I am thrilled to have read this bite sized memoir, and am thankful for Ayetoro telling her story. I feel more informed about Bipolar disorder than I was before I read it.