This book was highlighted as being in the same vein as Educated and The Glass Castle (two of my favs, which I’ll need to dissect in therapy). 😂 So, I knew I had to read it.

This book is also about a cult, which will draw me in every time. I’ve gone in deep on the unraveling of NXIVM and am eagerly anticipating the start of S2 of The Vow. I wasn’t as familiar with The Children of God, so this book provided an interesting look via Daniella Mestyanek Young‘s firsthand account, as well as her time in the military.

Many thanks to St. Martin's Press, the author, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me. All thoughts are my own.

Thank you St Martins Press for a digital ARC.

In this raw, gripping memoir, Daniella Mestyanek Young gives us a sneak peek into her life as a child in the Children of God cult. The horrors she faced at the hands of the “Uncles” are unconscionable and very difficult to read about. And yet she figured out a way to leave, on her own, at 16, get into high school (after only educating herself before with minimal materials), graduate, excel in college, and find herself in the midst of cult-like behavior again in the Army.

Daniella somehow beat all the odds with no support system and her story is powerful!

I have mixed feelings about this book. Overall, I just think it could’ve been shorter. The first portion that described her upbringing was both incredibly interesting and severely triggering. I don’t remember if the book had a trigger warning, but it most definitely should. The most interesting part of the book to me was her education after she left the cult. I wish that section of the book had been a bit more detailed! Her description of her time in the military was really fascinating, but definitely could’ve been shorter. Overall it was an interesting read because of her background, but also just so incredibly triggering and somewhat drawn out.

I’m fascinated by cults and the stories of those who have lived within and survive cults so this seemed like the perfect book for me. Admittedly, the book was hard to get into and the early pages were very triggering but I was determined to keep reading and I’m so glad I did. What an incredibly fascinating story of strength, resilience, and perseverance! I am awed by Daniella’s awareness and cognitive dissonance and ability to learn to protect herself at all costs. I’d recommend this book to anyone who loves to learn about cults and also believes that cults are all around us in the “normal” aspects of life.

Though it sounds strange to say, I know I am far from being along in finding myself drawn to stories about cults. In Young's powerful memoir, she recount the horrors of growing up within the Children of God cult. Some may go into this story already familiar with this international cult. Young spends most of her childhood in Brazil. The latter half deals with her post-cult life - largely within the US Army. Young explores more than just groupthink as she draws what some may find to be uncomfortable comparisons between cult life and army life. I think readers will definitely find a lot to digest here - and a lot to discuss. I can definitely see this becoming a popular choice for book clubs and other discussion groups.

This is the sort of nonfiction that genuinely reads like fiction. It moves a fast pace and it's easy to just keep turning the pages. It is well-written and though I am not drawn to stories about military life, Young certainly provides eye-opening insights into what it is like to be a woman in this very male-dominated organization. I wish that there had been a bit more about some of there other family members transitions from the cult, as well as the aftermath of the publicity within the organization (though Young herself was already gone by that time). It would also have been interesting to see the list of books that Young and her mother read together as their unofficial book club. Maybe a later edition of the book will include that. I also wonder if photographs are included at all... Either way, this is is a memoir that will long linger in my memory and one that I will definitely be recommending to others.

Uncultured is a remarkable memoir that shares the story of a Children of God cult survivor. What is especially poignant about the author's story is her realization of the similarities between the psychology of brainwashing cult members with basic military training. It took a lot of courage for Daniella to share her story. There is so much food for thought within the pages.

I recommend this to anyone who enjoys reading memoirs. Those interested in how women are faring in our military will also find it interesting.

Overall, the writing is good, but the author could have shortened many paragraphs. Given the author is not a writer by training, I think she did an admirable job.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing me with a free ebook version of the book in exchange for an honest review.

The Children of God cult is one of the scariest ones because it is world wide and continues in factions to this day. I think Daniella's writing was incredible and I felt for her at every turn of her life. I am grateful to her for sharing her story with us.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC!

This book reminded me a lot of Educated, which is one of my favorite books. I thought this had an even broader range than Educated because it dealt with greater cult behavior instead of an individual fundamentalist family. Definitely explored some tough topics, but I found it very engaging and her material on the military was really interesting placed in the context of cults. Would definitely recommend, albeit with a trigger warning for some of the heavier material. One of my least favorite things about memoirs is leaving them feeling dissatisfied because I found them poorly written or poorly conceived--that absolutely does not apply to this book.

Daniella’s family has been high ranking members of The Children of God cult for generations. As you might expect, she suffers constant physical, emotional, and sexual abuse disguised as God’s divine love. I became desensitzed to the repeated episodes of sexual abuse Daniella suffered as the hands of the adult male members of The Family. I found myself thinking “Oh, of course, here we go again” much like the young girls in the cult must have felt with how regular and unremarkable these events became. At 15, Daniella finds her way out of the cult and into mainstream society. She graduates from high school and college and shockingly joins the military as I am screaming “No! Not another cult!” Daniella quickly realizes that the military is not that different from the world she left behind so many years ago. Recommended for those who enjoyed Educated or The Glass Castle or Cultish.

I get frustrated by memoirs that are written by people who have lived through maybe one huge event and then try to formulate a book around that. This book does not fall into that category. Rather, Young could write many memoirs about the fascinating life that she has led - full of both many tragedies and triumphs.

Young grew up in the Children of God cult, raised on communes in several countries outside the US. Her childhood was filled with abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional) and brainwashing. However, there was always a rebellious side to her personality and an intuition that the way she was living didn't fit with her core values and with what was in her heart. When she was able to escape as a teen, her drive to succeed led her to get a college education (despite her lack of formal education as a youth) and then to enter the army. After going through a rigorous basic training, Young slowly realized that she had somehow ended up in another cult (albeit a culturally-sanctioned one). Her descriptions of the events that she experienced both in the Children of God and in the military are both hard to read and immensely captivating.

The only downside to the memoir (which is written with a brutal honesty and great personal insight) is that it feels a tad long. Every story seemed relevant to Young's journey, but her story is so complex, that it did feel slightly cumbersome to get through at times. But that just made me appreciate her resiliency and strength in actually surviving all of these things! I also would have loved it if Young had dug more into how she was able to dissemble some of the teachings that were so ingrained in her as a child or how she learned to heal from her traumas as an adult.

This memoir should definitely be held up amongst its well-reviewed contemporaries (like "Educated") as a powerful story of a woman dedicated to making a life for herself in the face of adversity.

In "Uncultured", Daniella Mestyanek Young takes us on a roller coaster of a story, unraveling the truths behind her childhood, to her time in the US Army as a soldier in Afghanistan, to her eventual arrival at Walter Reed Medical Center where she's forced to confront her own physical and mental state.

First and foremost: this is not an easy read and should have a Aassive Trigger Warning for topics of sexual assault, rape, and emotional manipulation. Especially in the first part of this book, Daniella details some of the harrowing abuse and mistreatment she faced growing up in the Children of God, a religious cult that forced her to grow up in Brazil, Mexico, and California. Her own parents do nothing to shield her from the abuse, and she's forced to grow up in a community of "Aunties" and "Uncles" where she's never sure who will help or harm her.

Daniella is able to remove herself from the cult as a teenager, though, and is forced to try and live in a world that she's completely unfamiliar with. What she latches on to, however, is her love of school and learning - and even though she starts off far behind her peers, she's able to get a full scholarship to college and Texas. She continues to excel, but is persuaded to join the military afterwards, where she learns that misogyny and sexism are more pervasive than she imagined. She nonetheless is able to triumph in the face of adversity and is recognized by President Obama for her bravery in Afghanistan... but she knows her work is far from over.

I was fascinated from the start with Daniella's story and the sheer determination and grit she had, despite countless adversity and difficulty. While I'd tangentially heard of various religious cults, getting to see it from her eyes and the horrors she experienced was painful - I physically cringed at various points throughout this book. She also brought to light the mistreatment she and her fellow female colleagues experienced in the military, and I couldn't help but share in her frustration and anger.

Not an easy read and not for everyone, but I commend Daniella for the the brutal honesty in her memoir.

Every bit as good as Educated. Really. Better even, due to its wider impact. This is a book about how people behave in groups. How we justify and perpetuate harmful actions. And how much damage two groups in particular have visited on the one life being written about here. Read this to learn what you may be a part of that is causing harm to others. And to just hear an amazing story of resilience from someone whose life has been dismissed and damaged by the groups she lived with. I expect this to hit bestseller lists everywhere.

Daniella grew up in Children of God cult, one of fourteen children, first living on a compound in Brazil then Mexico. She counted down the days until she could escape the physically and sexually violent and abusive cult around age 15, only to find herself eventually in what she describes as another type of cult - the United States Army. Where similar tales of sexual assault, maltreatment, and misogyny permeates a rank structure.

I have never sped through a book so fast. All 14 hours of audio flew by because I was so invested in Daniella’s story and I thoroughly enjoyed her a narrator to share her own words. I was furious, I laughed, I cried, I smiled. All of the emotions in this one. It is such a raw, heartbreaking story that pulls at your heart strings but serves a compelling tale of survivorship and resilience. I am so proud and glad she was brave enough to share her unique story with the world. I hope her speaking out helps fellow cult survivors and women in arms (for which I am one), and brings her some peace.

Thank you so much to NetGalley, SMP, Macmillan Audio, and Daniella for an advance reader and listener’s copies of this powerful memoir. All thoughts are honest and my own.

**Nothing in this review should be attributed to my employer.

"𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗?"

Born into The Children of God cult, at the age of fifteen Daniella escapes a life of strict protocol, cruel punishments and sexual abuse to start over in an alien society that had been demonized all of her life. Over and over again Daniella beats the odds by gaining an education, graduating valedictorian, joining the U.S. army, and making her way up the ranks. Sadly, she finds that the life she thought she'd escaped has many parallels to the one she's living in the military.

While telling her too often adverse and always remarkable story, Daniella exposes the atrocities and injustices of the two cults that shaped her life. She tells her story with stark honestly, keen retrospection and I was repeatedly bowled over by her courage. There is so much to admire about this incredible woman.

Her powerful epilogue gives the reader much to consider and question in their own lives.

If you like memoirs, this is one you need to add to your TBR.

Thank you St. Martin's Press & NetGalley for this e-ARC. Uncultured is out now!

Further Reading & Watching:
📚 Cultish: a nonfiction book that looks at the language and methods of cults and other groups
🎥 The Invisible War: a heartbreaking and infuriating documentary about the pervasiveness of sexual assault within the U.S. military

"None of it is easy to spot, these tactics that cult leaders - and many other kinds of leaders - rely upon to gain loyalty and inspire their followers. None of it happens all at once, and all of it is genuine. People don't join cults. They join churches, organization, communities, and groups they think will solve a problem for the world or within themselves. They follow leaders, the more charismatic the better. Maybe they're driven by hope, or maybe it's fear. Maybe it is a combination of the two, strengthened by the fuel of righteousness and, often, resentment. And then the logic breaks down, but we're too tightly enthralled to these cults among us to notice."
-Daniella Mestyanek Young

WOW. WOW. WOW.
I am always impressed when someone who has experienced such overwhelming trauma and pain, can climb out of the remnants of that and make a life for themselves. I have such awe and respect for them and that is absolutely the case here. To come through the horrors that the author did and have even a remotely normal life in the end is nothing short of miraculous. I want to thank the author for being brave and having the trust it would take to write such an open and personal book; all of us who have and will read it will never be the same when the book ends.

Cults are insidious. They play on what people need [or think they need], on people's emotions and
once they have trapped them, it is close to impossible to get out. They are dangerous, and the longer they survive, the more dangerous they become [see the influx of hate groups, which are nothing but cults gone rogue] and the more people get hurt. The interesting thing about this story is that the author is born INTO the cult and knows no other life. When reading this, one must remember this - choices that get made when all you have known is trauma and pain and indoctrination are NOT going to always be the best - no one who has lived that life is even remotely prepared for "real" life when they are finally able to get out.

If you choose to read this book [and I highly recommend listening to the author read the audiobook], you need to be prepared. This is a graphic, soul searing, gut-wrenching, ugly crying for the massive loss of so much innocence kind of book. There are many graphic scenes, but there are never gratuitous. They are just the life that the author led and it is important to know it. It helps one appreciate just how far the author had to crawl to have even a note of normal. And trust me, you will appreciate ALL that you have once you've finished this.

Sometimes, when the author narrates the audiobook, you may get a great book that doesn't fully come off that way due to the poor way they narrate. Thankfully, that is not the case here [in fact, I hope that she narrates other books because she is excellent!], and hearing the author tell her story just made the story come more alive [though in some parts, that just adds to the serious emotional toll this book will take on you]. I am so glad that I was able to get the ARC from the audio publisher; it was just the icing on the cake.

Thank you to NetGalley, Daniella Mestyanek Young, St. Martin Press, and Macmillan Audio for providing the ARCS in exchange for an honest review.

4 stars.*

I've long been fascinated with all things true crime and it's not a big step into the world of cults.

I have been listening to a podcast about the Synanon Cult and cannot stop thinking about it between episode releases. When I saw this title was available on NetGalley I lept at the chance to read it.

Uncultured is the story of Daniella, born 3rd generation into The Children of God. By all accounts, a cult. By many, the most tragic, harmful to children cult of them all.

Told entirely first person, Daniella takes us from her mother's pregnancy with her (at 14, the result of the encouraged sex with multiple partners and children as espoused by the founder and leader of "The Family", Grandfather, who was a close friend of her own father, through her early childhood inside the cult, with their rules, and strict guidelines, and blatant sexual assault of children. Daniella is abused from the age of 6, and knows her entire life that she does not fit in and that this is wrong. Her questioning earns her punishment after punishment.

Her coming of age inside The Family is awful and painful to read, but also incredibly inspiring, as at just 15, Daniiella makes the incredibly courageous move to leave the Cult and move to the US to be with one of her 14 siblings. In the USA, Daniella has to figure out life outside of the cult. Deprogramming is hard, and despite her intelligence and gumption,before very long she finds herself sigend up for another Cult: the US Army.

Daniella's story is important and inspiring. It is well-written and while deeply disturbing it is also encourangeing that there can be life after cult indoctrination and despicable abuse.

*with thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC in exchage for this honest review.

𝙈𝙮 𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

𝙈𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨:

Holy crow. I love reading about cults, and do so quite often, but this book was wild.

You’re going to read the first half-ish and be like, wow, this girl has really been through it, but wait… because the second half is just as fascinating. It’s amazing what this woman went through and what she was able to overcome in her lifetime so far.

And her writing style is excellent. If you’re concerned that it may be just another dry, boring memoir, don’t be. It kept me thoroughly engaged throughout the entire thing.

Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin’s Press, Macmillan Audio and Daniella Mestyanek Young for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

Uncultured is available now.

✨Book Review✨

It might be officially fall, but Tulsa weather hasn’t gotten the memo. I’m still enjoying my flowers, for now. I’m so ready for cooler temperatures and beautiful foliage. 🍁

Thank you to @netgalley and @stmartinspress for the eARC of Uncultured. I don’t remember who I saw review this book, but I saw it somewhere here on #bookstagram and was intrigued.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Do you like memoirs? Books about cults?

If you said yes to either of those questions ➡️ READ THIS BOOK.

The Children of God cult that Daniella grew up in is 🤢. Major content warning of pedofilia, so be prepared going into this read.

Mestyanek’s transparency is genuine and her story is amazing. I highly, highly recommend this one!

Uncultured will stay with me for a long time. My desire to read about cults is what drew me to this memoir. The story of Daniella Mestyanek Young being born into and growing up in the cult known as The Children of God and thus leaving as a teen, to then enlist in the US Army, I was ready for the heartbreaking details and inspiration of Daniella's ability to overcome.
I was pleasantly surprised by how well written the book is. I recommend to everyone, but be aware there are some tough topics discussed and could be triggering for some folks.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an opportunity to read and review honestly an advanced digital copy.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press for the gifted copy!

“Did I just join another cult?”

That’s what Danielle Mestyanek Young thinks as she realizes the similarities between her literal cult upbringing, and her career in the US ARMY.

“Uncultured” is Mestyanek’s memoir about her childhood and subsequent escape from the Children of God (also known as “The Family”) cult. The first half of the book details her life from a small child, her realization she’s in a cult, then her escape to Texas and the ramifications of said escape (when she was just in high school!) I really have an interest in true crime and cults, so this wasn’t my first time reading about the Children of God, but I’m always interested in learning more. It read like a good documentary - her firsthand accounts of her upbringing was shocking, to say the least.

Then the second half of the book is her time in the US ARMY, and how similar the situations were to each other (namely, the rape and sexual assault that happens in both). My interest in the book dipped a little during the retelling of her time in the US ARMY, but it was still captivating to hear her accounts. As a reader I felt horrified for Young that she thought she had escaped her cult, only to turn around and be in one unknowingly again.

There are major trigger warnings in this book, as with any piece of media about cults, so read with caution. The entire memoir was heartbreaking - hearing what disgusting things children go through in this cult, and what adults go through in the ARMY is a tough pill to swallow, and unfortunately more common than we think. It you are interested in any kind of true crime, or cult information, this book is right up your alley, so I definitely recommend it. I’m glad Mestyanek was able to tell her story, so that it hopefully will be talked about, discussed, and action will be taken more than it is now.