Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Do you want to read a memoir about a girl who survived the Children of God cult and went on to have a career in the military? Do you want to read about systemic military corruption?

Pre-reading:
True crime vibes from the cover.

Thick of it:
Yes, the military is another cult.

God this is so sad. I hate religion. I hate men.

I went to type I hate religion, I hate men again. God like that’s going to be this entire book. Fuckkkk. I just fundamentally don’t understand these fucking idiots and their absolute cruelty.

So heavens girl is on Wikipedia. I hate men. I have no faith in humanity. Holy fuck.

This man is pure evil.

God, the most basic google and there are so many victims.

The Capricorn party must be a nightmare lol.

Chick fil a.

I'd love to read those school papers.

This. Book. Is. So. Hard. To. Read.

It’s very good, just like so upsetting to be a lady.

Oh, John.

Wow, I never knew that about red hair!

What downsides, assholes?

Fuck general order one. Fuck all this. Just stop raping and controlling women. It’s not fucking hard.

Yes. Yes, they do.

I’m hormonal and about to get my period, but fuck that made me tear up.

This book is gonna make me cry at work holy shit.

Mr. President, We’re Not Lesbians is the best chapter title omg.


Post-reading:
Wow, so hard to read. I felt guilty putting it down, but I definitely took breaks with this book. It’s a memoir, so it’s her life experiences, so it’s really hard to critique it. What she went through is horrific. Her story is so valuable. If you go in not knowing about the Children of God cult or much about the army’s corruption you will learn a lot. I think the book misses its 5 star sparkle just because it is a little bare bones. It’s definitely a recount of everything that happened, and she starts to go into how it’s impacted her and her way of thinking, but I think there could’ve been some more depth there. I also feel like it ends a smidge abruptly. We don’t really get any information about how she readjusted to the rest of the world after leaving the army- just that she did. Also, fair warning, it’s just gonna be upsetting to read. I think most women at this point know life sucks based strictly on our sex, but it’s still hard to read about how shitty it is, and how many shitty, shitty people are keeping the world stuck like this.

Who should read this:
People interested in cults
Feminists
People interested in military corruption

Do I want to reread this:
No, I think I’ll just remember it.

Similar books:
* Educated by Tara Westover-memoir about escaping religious extremism
* Excavation by Wendy C. Ortiz-memoir about childhood grooming

WOW. Thank you Daniella for taking the time to write this for the world to see the dangers of cult (and cult think) and learn from her experiences. I am amazed by her bravery and strength- she took hardship and turned it into motivation. She found a way out of the Children of God cult and built her own knowledge and career by sheer self-determination, even when she had both emotional and real-life roadblocks to overcome.

This is a must-read. There is so much to take away from this and I am thankful that Daniella was brilliant enough to overcome and to BE BETTER. She didn't let her childhood or her challenges define her. This is a fascinating story- one that brough real tears to my eyes more than once.

wow, what a powerful memoir. I loved reading her story of growing up in the Children of God cult, followed by her time in the army. Content warnings abound in this book, but it was beautifully written. I rooted for her all throughout my reading.

There are not enough words to describe how powerful this book is.

Pick it up. Read it. Read it again. Pass it along to someone else. Talk about it with them.

Five stars. A+. Head of the class.

PHEW. Well-written and compelling, this story follow Daniella through her time growing up in the Children of God cult, then her time in the army, and finally her time recovering from some terrifying symptoms that got her evacuated from the army.

As others have noted, this book comes with major trigger warnings. Abuse, sexual abuse, parental neglect, etc. Please proceed with caution.

If you are in the headspace for it, the book is a fascinating exploration of cults. Especially the first half.

Uncultured is a fascinating insight into the Children of God. Young allows an immense amount of vulnerability in sharing her story. I enjoyed the first half, but must say that the second half set in the military was a bit of a slog to read.

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC for an honest review.

I could not put down Daniella's memoir. She overcame an unthinkable childhood with her roots tied in the Children of God Cult and was determined to do anything for her freedom and more education. She then went on to be a Military Intelligence Officer in the 101st Airborne Division and as I knew her to be, one hell of a runner! Her book is brilliantly written with insight from her studies in Organizational Psychology at Harvard. She comes from a perspective that allowed me to feel like I wasn't alone in my own experiences. She is a hero in a war that no one sees, the one where we are all just trying our best to be on the same team.
I'm so excited for her to share her story and her triumph.

Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for a review copy of Uncultured: A Memoir of Cults, War, and Belonging by Daniella Mestyanek Young.

Daniella grew up in Brazil, as a third-generation cult member of The Family, or Children of God. She is subject to horrific physical, sexual, and verbal abuse from her elders, all in the name of David Berg’s brand of “Christianity.” After escaping the cult at age 15, Daniela adjusts to adolescence in the “System” (America). The memoir continues to follow her along her journey through traditional education, relationships, and eventually, the military.

I’m left speechless after finishing up Uncultured in just two days time. Couldn’t put it down. Mestyanek Young is a great storyteller and wow — what a story she has to tell. Despite the devastatingly sad subject matter, Daniella managed to make her memoir feel like a heart-to-heart amongst good friends. Still, there were a few loose ends I desperately wanted tied up. At the same, who I am to want a trauma survivor to put a neat little bow around such difficult situations?

Overall, I give 4 stars to Uncultured. If you’re a fan of cult-related literature, stories of triumph, or just appreciate a conversational tone during tough times, this book is definitely up your alley.

Great memoirs have the power to show us that even though we have different experiences, there is universality; they can, whether implicitly or explicitly, highlight both the ways in which we are different and the ways in which we share experiences.

One of the things that ties us together is our connection to each other, to groups and to culture. We’re all a product of the groups (and culture) that we surround ourselves with (whether we have a choice in the matter or not). Uncultured by Danielle Mestyanak Young not only serves as an honest, raw and alive portrait of one woman’s life lived; it allows us to see that we aren’t alone.

Through her storytelling, she always finds a way to tie what seems like an incredibly unique experience back to ideas and systems we can all connect and relate to, and recognize in ourselves.

Separated into three portions (three of the most impactful periods of her life), Daniella chronicles her life growing up in the Children of God cult, her time after escaping and integrating back into the Systemite (real) world as well as her time in the military. As we all know, we are products of our past and our experiences and Daniella has incredible intuitiveness about her that recognizes the connections between the many formative things that have happened to her and her situation at any given time. Her insight into herself and her environment is absolutely enlightening, and follows a progression that rings true.

As you can imagine, this one can be tough to read with incidents of sexual violence (including against children) and mental illness. But every single thing is included for a reason here, highlighting how much these issues can impact our lives for a long time. To shy away from these incidences would not give a full picture of Daniella's life; reading of these incidences is painful but as the book progresses, we realize how crucial they become in shaping her future and the way she processes what happens to her.

I have read a few books which do highlight the cult experience, but there is always something that feels separate about it. Something to the effect of, I wasn't there, so I can't possibly relate in any way. But with her truthful, honest candor and her ability to look back at her life through a lens of how it is all connected, Daniella helps us see that for ourselves. While we haven't shared some of the specific experiences she had, we can see that we're not alone and that there are indeed recurring themes throughout all of our lives (like the effects of groups and culture), they may just look a little different but that also make us quite similar.

I found this to be too grim and depressing for me to read as of right now. I have read many sad and gritty memoirs and non fictions but the child abuse here- sexual and physical- felt relentless from within a few pages with no let up.

‘Uncultured’ asks what makes a group -- a cult?

Born into the sex cult known as The Children of God, Daniella Mestyanek Young is uniquely qualified in the subject. Her memoir, however, does not open with life in the well-known cult but instead at Basic Training for the United States Army, with Mestyanek questioning if she just joined another cult. This framing kept me leaping from clue to clue, trying to chase down what makes a cult.

Part one starts with Mestyanek’s life in The Children of God, a cult formed by David Berg in 1969. The cult, or ‘The Family’ as its members refer to it, is a violent sex cult that believes they live in the End Times. Discipline and sex are the tenets of day-to-day life, and not even young children are protected. David Berg saw himself as a shepherd ready to guide his flock, but Mestaynek reminds us, “shepherds always eat their sheep in the end.” Mestyanek takes you by the hand and guides you through her terrifying childhood, shielding your eyes when necessary but allowing you to come near to her fear and pain.

When she leaves ‘The Family,’ you think you have a good hold on what it means to be a cult, then she joins the U.S. Army. The parallels jump off the page as she works through Basic Training, but it never stops. Her promising career is continually halted, and her life is put at risk for simply existing inside a female body.

Athletically and intelligently gifted, Mestyanek runs literal circles around the people in her life. Her stamina, strength, and perseverance are awe-inspiring without ever being overbearing. We see many of her triumphs and ride with her through the lows. Loveable in her vulnerability, Mestyanek’s ‘Uncultured’ is a must-read for anyone with an interest in what it means to belong. It will leave you questioning every group you join -- “when does a cult end, and a culture begin?”

I do love memoirs, and I was so pleased to get access to this one. Daniella's story is so compelling, and I am in awe of her! Raised in the Children of God cult as a third generation member, Daniella shouldn't have been able to "backslide." She was a visible member of The Family due to her family status, so to see her get out and make a life of her own is truly remarkable. Then, after finishing college, she joins the US Army. Her time there broke barriers for women, as well as almost breaking Daniella.

Daniella's writing style makes this memoir a very quick read. It is engaging from the beginning. The difficulties she faced in Afghanistan from the loss of friends to the accusations she endured were all presented in a way that you could just feel the stress rolling from her. The descriptions of her childhood abuses just made my stomach churn because no one really defended her at all. Overall, this is a memoir about perseverance. Well done!

This is a deeply moving memoir about a woman who grew up in a cult and how that continued to shape her relationships and her mentality throughout her life. Reading Daniella's story, you cannot help but feel your heart break for the girl that she was and the woman that she becomes, learning that the ideologies that shape you as a child continue to follow you throughout adulthood. Despite no longer being in the cult, the mentality that is instilled in her from a young age continues throughout her life, shaping her future experiences, especially once she enlists into the army.

The memoir is impactful in its simplicity, allowing the reader to understand vast history of the Children of God into the story of Daniella and her family. It is also incredibly difficult to put down as Daniella's life continues and moves forward but faces new challenges wherever she goes next.

ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book was a tough read from the first page to the last, not because it wasn't well written but because of the content and all that the author has been through. I think that it is very important to read stories like these so victims like Daniella's experiences are heard. Trigger warning: there is quite a bit of content about sexual abuse. I wasn't really expecting the the second half of the book about her time in the army to mirror her time in The Children of God cult. There was a lot to unpack here, and Daniella did that without holding back. You will learn a lot about The Children of God, even if you have already heard of the cult, as well as the struggles women go through in the army. It will all make you angry on Daniella's behalf. I am so glad she wrote this book about her experiences to educate the world.

A perfect memoir. Young describes an extreme experience in a way that makes people want to read about the most horrific childhood. I laughed, cried, and also rejoiced in her journey.

Born third generation into a cult, Daniella Mestyanek Young’s entire existence was controlled. Through geographical, physical, emotional and sexual domination, the leaders of the Children of God kept her in line. In Uncultured, a well-paced memoir, the author brings us inside the glass-topped walls of the compounds where she lived and where her mother bore child after child, some of whom Daniella didn’t know were her siblings, and where families were torn apart to serve the erratic rules of the cult. Denied books and any cultural references aside from what the cult chose for her, the young Daniella’s curiosity and innate inquisitiveness pushed her into territory where she would either flounder or flourish. Excommunicated in her mid-teens and sent to live with a sibling she’d never met, she enrolled in high school in Texas, her first public school experience. Crappy job, no support system, no idea how to survive in The System outside the cult, Daniella made mistakes and had victories. After university, she essentially joined another cult: the US Army. Rampant sexism, behavioral expectations that put all the onus on women, and the ever-present threat of rape permeated every day. Don’t get raped. That’s a life mantra you wouldn’t want wish on anyone.

The best memoirs answer the question: So what? Even in retelling a horrendous childhood and war experiences, we still wonder, so what? Mestyanek Young doesn’t leave us hanging. Through introspection and unflinching honesty, she finds the thread that runs through her life and gives her readers an understanding of how groups control their members and how we can identify that if we know what to look for. It’s no great leap to go from reading this book to examining the groups we belong to and others we see represented by political parties, churches and schools.

In a period where cult memoirs could have a bookshelf in every bookshop, Uncultured stands out for its honesty and implications for what the world can produce, both terrible and terribly good.

This book is phenomenal. Because Daniella has experienced permissive and sometimes violent patriarchy where the rubber meets the road, in a cult and later in the military, she speaks from a place of very strong authority on the topic. Besides the knowledge she imparts, she shares a brilliantly written, funny, sometimes sad, ultimately inspiring story. Truly unforgettable, and such an important read. Her very life challenges readers' assumptions about the limits of the human spirit and how we are able to transform ourselves, and triumph over adversity.