SELF-PORTRAIT WITH NOTHING is an astonishingly memorable book. It's not just the fantastic premise (full of multiverse shenanigans and doppelgangers), but the writing was so striking and the book had so much heart I felt like I wanted to live inside of it for longer. Reminded me a bit of books by Blake Crouch, but with more emotional resonance and with a more female-centered narrative (in a very good way). Definitely a book I will be recommending to friends (and buying multiple copies of for gifts)!

A puzzling story that focuses on the daughter of an elusive painter whose clients claim that her paintings are portals to alternate versions of her subjects.

Pepper’s specialized field of expertise, osteology, has her asking ‘what.’ What does the size of the pelvis tell you? What does it mean if two bones in a certain place are fused? This prodding line of thought extends to her thoughts and imagination, constantly asking ‘what if’, constantly wondering how else reality, hers or otherwise, could’ve gone down. What if she hadn’t been given up by her birth mother? What if she never got together with her husband Ike? It becomes clear that she’s unhappy and unsure about her life, or rather unsatisfied with the imperfections of her reality and wanting a better one but constantly struggling to know if any of the scenarios she conjures are actually better. Though it was a long journey of trying to track down her mother and unraveling the mystery behind the claims of alternate doppelgängers relating to her mother’s paintings, Pepper ultimately makes peace with her imperfect life (and I appreciate that it’s a mixture of the little and big things in her life).

I feel like the different plot lines came together quite nicely to support the main theme of the book. I like the sci-fi elements. The story felt well-paced to me and I really enjoyed reading all the reflective sections as it best complements the theme of the story. I enjoyed Pepper and Ike’s relationship; despite going through a rough patch during the story, they still try to maintain communication with each other, and very honestly but lovingly calling the other person out when that person is lying to themselves or each other because they know each other well. It was fascinating reading how Ula was characterized through the client’s experiences or lack of, creating a grand, maddeningly mysterious profile of the artist.

Thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan-Tor/Forge for providing me with the e-ARC in exchange for an honest review. (less)

I am glad I read this. I was a little wary because I am not a big sci fi fan, feeling like I never really understand the science involved. But I was drawn by this novel by the idea of exploring the multiverse and whether other versions of yourself are living better lives, making better decisions, etc. I'm glad I gave this a try. It was very interesting and not too science-y. The main character, Pepper, is very relatable and very human. I enjoyed her self-discovery as well as the mystery in this novel.

I always find it harder to write a review for a book that I adored, for some reason, and so had to really sit and think about what to say other than: OOF but this is good. I found Self-Portrait with Nothing to be immensely moving, but in a subtle way which caught me unawares. Especially as someone prone to their own "in another universe" thinking, it really resonated with me. This perhaps isn't surprising - alternate universes are a favourite feature in fiction for me - but this book seemed to hit something deeper. The alternate universe aspect allowed for a lot of reflection, rather than just being a plot mechanism.
Pepper, the protagonist, is far from perfect - but she acknowledges these flaws in a way which really helps you to empathise with her. There's also an unwinding and intricate plot, meticulously thought out, and with a lot of intrigue. I kept turning aspects of the book over in my mind upon finishing it.
I'm hugely keen to see what Aimee Pokwatka writes next!

A genuinely moving and lovely book. I was rooting for Pepper - I liked her, with her two moms, and her constant pondering of what she might be doing in another universe where she made different choices. I do the same in my own life, but the biological mother who was an artist gave it an interesting twist.

Pepper is a woman surrounded by supporting and loving people. Her moms and their veterinary practice, her job where she is well respected. Her husband who adores her, even though she would go days without calling. Yet with all the love around her she is still seeking out her biological mom. Her "what ifs."

Highly recommended.

Beyond amazing! This book was an incredible read and I can't recommend it enough. This is a book you'll want on your shelf and to give as a gift. Everyone needs to read it.

I loved this book. Keep me involved all night. Magical, creepy, sci-fi, brilliant. I hope to read more by this author.

Possible 4.5 stars.

I honestly really enjoyed this book and hypothetically it would be 5 stars. However, my one personal “issue” was that I was hoping for a more horror-esque story when it’s actually more sci-fi. That being said, if you like sci-fi, you’ll LOVE this and in an alternate universe (haha) it would be a favorite of mine. It was well thought out and perfectly executed, just not what I wanted at this moment in time. Hopefully that makes since. Anyway yeah read this book.

The writing quality of this book is first-rate, and the main character pulled me in and broke my heart. She's the abandoned daughter of a famous painter. The painter specializes in portraits with a special quality - when your portrait is painted, it pulls a version of you from an alternate universe into this one. When the painter disappears, our narrator has to find her, and unravel the mysteries of her art, while facing the question, "Is there some version of me that's doing better than this?"

We all wonder that, don't we? I could connect pretty deeply with the main character, and I love the way the author handles the affectionate text messages between her and her husband. I kept getting stuck on the question, "But why would anyone ever commission one of these portraits?" Pokwatka does try to answer the question, but I couldn't quite wrap my head around the person who wouldn't immediately recognize this as a terrible idea.

Then again, the world is full of people who act on terrible ideas, isn't it?

This is well worth your time.