A perceptive and powerful book, this novel tells the story of Carlisle Martin. Carlisle has always loved ballet and wants to become a professional ballerina like her mother once was. She spends only a few short weeks each year with her father, who lives in New York. Those weeks are always the highlight of Carlisle's year -- full of art, music, dance and the attention of her father, Robert, and his partner, James. After she graduates college, Carlisle hopes she will finally grow closer to Robert and James and become a part of their world. But a series of events, and a complicated history that even Carlisle does not fully understand, leads to a falling out between Carlisle and Robert. For the next 19 years, the two essentially do not speak. When Carlisle gets a call from James indicating that Robert is not long for this world, Carlisle has to decide whether to see him again. In making that decision, she reflects on her childhood, her relationship with both of her parents and James, and the way the formative events of her early years created the path for her life.

Well written and thoroughly engaging, this novel explores interesting themes related to family, art, privilege, and secrets through strong and intriguing characters, most of all Carlisle, her mother, Isabel, and James.

Highly recommended!

gosh this book was so good, i literally couldn’t put it down. there is so much emotion in this book, from the complex relationships, the art, the time period, everything. it is so beautifully written, very poetic and fast paced. this book made me appreciate the hard work of ballet dancers and what it takes to dedicate your life to something. but this book was so much more than that!!! it’s about love. wanting to be loved and appreciated by the ones who should love you the most. i felt like it really conveyed the complexity of human relationships.

I had previously read The Wanderers by this author and really enjoyed it, but this one was a bit of a slog to get through.

“This is my legacy. I come from people who are in the back of the photo. This is my inheritance. To know the precise distance between oneself and greatness.”

Carlisle Martin’s path to self discovery is predicated upon so many variables but the driving force is her past and the family in it. We meet Carlisle as an impressionable 10 year old, who is on one of her annual visits with her father and his partner in their Greenwich Village apartment, as the AIDS crisis devastates the world in which they live. On these sojourns from suburban Ohio she travels to an adult world filled with dance, music and literature, and shapes her own dreams in the shadow of her mother, a former Balanchine ballerina.
At age 24, an event occurs which fractures the family and all have a role to play in it. This slowly comes into focus throughout the novel as the character studies are deftly developed.
Now living in LA, Carlisle returns to New York City 19 years later to explore the idea of a reconciliation but the destructive nature of the unresolved conflict could be insurmountable. In the beautiful and often brutal world of ballet the story is masterfully told with the grace and compassion the characters deserve. A slim novel packing a punch, I was moved throughout and was sad to see it come to an end.

Meg Howry’s They’re Going to Love You follows Carlisle Martin, daughter of former Balanchine ballerina Isabel Osmond and Robert, who used to run the Boxhill Dance Festival. As a child, Carlisle craved the time she spent at Bank Street with her father and his partner, James — time away from her mother and her new family, and a time where she was treated as an adult. James takes Carlisle under his wing, and educates her on books, music, and most importantly, ballet. Carlisle’s time at Bank Street truly is the highlight of her year, up until it isn’t. Suddenly, Carlisle’s life is turned around — she’s no longer welcome at Bank Street, and no longer on speaking terms with her father. But when Carlisle receives a call from his partner James nineteen years later letting her know that Robert is in hospice, she finds herself back at Bank Street once again.

They’re Going to Love You is told in two timelines; one in present day with Carlisle being in her 40’s, and one following Carlisle as she grows up. Very early on, the reader is informed of how much Bank Street means to Carlisle, and of her estranged relationship with her father. I was immediately intrigued by the reason for the fall out, and was incredibly invested in how the story would play out. I think the reveal was a little more drawn out than I’d like, and the pacing felt very off as a result. I personally also enjoyed Carlisle’s coming of age storyline more — potentially because I don’t often relate with characters in their 40s.

While there were several aspects of They’re Going to Love You that I didn’t love, I really loved how it approached human relationships, and how complex they can be. Particularly, surrounding Carlisle, and her parental figures: Isabel, Robert, and James. Howrey delights in creating dynamic characters — at times, I was incredibly frustrated with them, and at others, I felt so deeply for them. We’re shown glimpses of Carlisle’s childhood that while may feel small and ordinary, are pivotal moments in Carlisle’s lives. Carlisle, as our main character, is so driven and self-aware. Her loneliness broke my heart, and I felt so badly for her. It was incredibly easy to put myself in her shoes. Throughout the novel, Carlisle struggles with not just her sense of self, but also her relationships with the adults in her life — and how all of that is tied directly to dance. Isabel is balancing what it means to be a mother with the notion that her dreams of ballet are dashed. For James, ballet is an escape from the tragedies of the real world.

One quote in particular haunts me in particular:

“What I totally get is that my father loves James best and James loves Robert best and Isabel loves Yuto and Ben best and everyone I know has someone they love best. I'm no one's best.”

Carlisle struggles with feeling unwanted and unloved — a direct nod to the novel’s title, They’re Going to Love You. While the story focuses on Carlisle’s relationship with her father, Robert, we do get some closure for the relationship with her mother as well. The phone goes two ways; both parties have to want to make amends and to move forward in order for growth and healing, and we see exactly that.

Something else I loved about They’re Going to Love You is how evident Howrey’s love is for ballet. It truly was palpable, and I felt transported back to my dance studio the entire time I was reading it. Howrey’s writing is simply beautiful. As much as They’re Going to Love You is a story about ballet and art, it’s also about family legacy, and how we’re shaped by our parents. Howrey begs the question of what it means to dream, to love, to heal and to grieve in They’re Going to Love You, and does so with such care. While it felt a little short and unfinished to me, I would still recommend it for its complex relationships and beautiful imagery.

Carlisle has always dreamed of being a professional ballerina. While she and her mother lived in Ohio, she always dreamed of moving in with her father and James and attending the prestigious dance school in New York. feeling like she is neither her mothers, nor her fathers priority, Carlisle has always been drawn to James and the many lessons he has taught her during her life. Now it’s been 19 years since she spoke to either he father or James, when she gets a call that her father is dying.

I love books about ballet, and this one did not disappoint. It was also highly recommended by @mrstevenrowley and lets be honest, I would read the microwave manual if Steven told me to, or if he wrote it! This book was so beautifully written, and it pulled me in right from the start. Honestly though, I don’t even know where to begin in reviewing it. This book was about family, love, ambition, dreams, forgiveness, betrayal, friendship, identity, and so much more. I loved the look at the family dynamics and how much one is willing to pay for their dreams. Another reviewer called this book elegant, and honestly, I could not agree more.

After reading this one, I feel like a pro on ballet! I knew almost nothing about ballet before this but I don't think you do need to in order to enjoy this one.

I was so invested in the complex family dynamics that were center of the story and related so much to the characters trying to find a sense of themselves and where they belong.

This was such a heartbreaking and all encompassing book that was written beautifully and lyrically. This will stay with me for a while!

For as little as I know about ballet, I absolutely love reading stories about it. Howrey did an amazing job of showcasing the brutal world of the ballet scene while also bringing in family dynamics, mental illness, insecurities and betrayal. With its non linear timeline, I don’t know that this is a book for everyone, but it was certainly a book for me. The characters were all flawed, but you felt sympathy for them as they struggled with lost dreams, lost loved and getting older in a world that values youth and virility. I absolutely loved Carlisle and her narration, but James was the most compelling to me with Isabel as a close second. This book is absolutely a slower burn, but the way Howrey writes makes you wanting to keep turning the pages. I found it haunting and mesmerizing and I absolutely cannot wait to read more from Howrey.

Thank you to NetGalley and Doubleday Books for an advanced digital reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.

This is my first Meg Howrey. I really was looking forward to reading this because it had to do with ballet. I grew up a dancer. Following this story felt easy and I think the terminology was simple enough for non dancer readers to grasp. I think Meg did a wonderful job creating this world for readers to immerse in. I think this is an engaging read for anyone looking for a glimpse into that profession and art form.

Betrayal and Containment in an Excellent Writing Performance

Present: Nineteen years is a long time to be estranged from your father. Add his male partner and it’s a strong duo. The lead character is the daughter, Carlisle Martin, now in her 40’s, a dancer who has become a famous choreographer. Her father, Robert, is dying and she feels compelled to return to their home on Bank Street in Greenwich Village. The author takes the reader on a back-and-forth timespan from her childhood to Bank Street to Mexico and then does a full circle. It was maddening sometimes, but the book held my interest.

Past: James, her father’s partner, is also a ballet star and teacher. Robert and Isobel, her mother, share the love of dance . She lives with her mother in Ohio and visits Robert and James for two weeks a year at the Bank Street home. As the reader goes back and forth, the strength of Carlisle’s talent and her 6’2” height becomes the center as she tried to find her way. Robert and James seemed to have some money but per Robert’s father’s will, the grandfather has chosen Carlisle to inherit the Bank Street home upon Robert’s death. As a dancer, trying to find her way, she does not have much confidence and believes that she is supposed to give Bank Street to James.

The book is loaded with emotion, James is effusive, Robert is smart but distanced himself from his daughter because of an emotional trauma, which became overblown. Isobel is straight-forward and our main character, Carlisle, understandably runs through a myriad of emotions as she goes from tryout after tryout to gain admission to different dance schools and programs. We

This is not an ordinary novel. It is about dance, choreography, AIDS epidemic, and love and much more.. Often the book is a painstaking movement of present and past on multiple levels. However, the characters are complex and serious, and it is an excellent portrayal of dance, perseverance and fifth position!

My gratitude to Net Galley and Doubleday for this pre-published book. All opinions expressed are my own.

I will be thinking about this story for a long time. I loved it, though I almost didn’t get a chance to. The beginning was a little stilted, a bit clunky to get through.
I’ve thought about why that is and I think it’s because, from the very beginning, you are thrown into a familiarity between the characters before you know them yourselves. By about a 1/3 of the book, you start to understand the dynamic and it’s easy to delve into the rest.
When I initially heard about They’re Going to Love You, I thought it was a book about a ballerina. This is true, to a point.
Split between a few timelines, this is, rather, about Carlisle and the life she dedicates to art.
Coming from a legacy of two successful ballerinas, she initially chases a career as one herself. It never quite works out for her and we spent most of the novel learning both how that effects her, and what she does with this fate.
It is also a love story. Between her and her father, her father and his partner, and one she has herself. It is about the wreckage of love, how love rebuilds us, pushes us forward and the art that it is, in and of itself.
I loved what this story left me with and I will be picking it up many times in my life.

This book blew me away. It’s beautifully written, poetry on every page, but never overdone. It is poignant and gutting and absolutely riveting.

Carlisle comes from a ballet family and the story goes back and forth between her as an adult forging her own career path as a choreographer and her early adulthood when she was trying to be a ballerina and something awful happened to cause a decades-long rift between herself and her father.

I love the books about creatives struggling through their process whether it's opera singers or ballet dancers or fina artists or the countless number of books that exist about writers. It’s always interesting to me and this book stands as one of the best in the genre.

Meg Howrey broke my heart wide open with They're Going to Love You. A beautiful and poignant portrayal of a family and the many webs, connections, and relationships that it's made of and created over decades. It was also an incredibly fascinating look into the lives of dancers and choreographers, while touching upon issues like the HIV/AIDS epidemic in NYC in the 90s, gay parents, and estranged relationships. It was JAM PACKED, but never overwhelming. A late blooming coming of age story set against the backdrop of the harsh and often cruel world of ballet.

You're going to love this book! From the writing to the characters to the plot to the exploration of dance and family and dreams.... this book is beautiful all around. It's not beautiful because of everyone's successes, but rather because of the raw humanity displayed throughout this book. It is tender and heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once. I adored the arc of Carlisle as we trace her life in the present and the past, in her relationships with her parents and lovers and friends, and as she experiences dreams and disappointments throughout her days.

Meg Howrey's writing is exquisite. Her background in dance is apparent, as is her insight into people. This is such a lovely book!

Thanks to NetGalley, Doubleday, and the author for the eARC. All opinions are my own.

The beginning of this novel created a visual experience for me —
The center of American Ballet was in New York — and the center New York Ballet was George Balanchine, a Russian who created a world-class ballet company and a school to train dancers.

We meet protagonist, Carlisle Martin. Her mother, Isabel danced with Balanchine. Carlisle, too, would have loved to dance with Balanchine. Although a good ballet dancer, with a beautiful ballet physique, she didn’t quite have the proficiency or confidence in her own skills as much as her mother had had.

Carlisle lived in Ohio with her mother….(who later re-married Ben - when Carlisle was twelve years old….and they have a baby boy together: Yuto. Being a new older sister was felt oddly foreign to Carlisle — an outsider as well.

It was understandable that Carlisle cherished her summer vacations in New York — with her father, Robert. (who once dance and managed the LaGrange Ballet…until later he ran a dance festival in upstate New York.
It was pure magical summer-fun for Carlisle as a teenage girl to spend time in New York with her father — and his partner, James.
She was always greeted with enthusiasm from their two cats: Olga and Maria.
Carlisle didn’t understand GAY…or PASSING…or AIDS yet….but in time.
Robert and James lived in four story brownstone, in Greenwich Village, They named their large-[room for dance practice]-apt. BANK STREET.
The apartment was purchased in 1975 by James’ father with money from an inheritance. (later in the book there will be friction and complications about this property) —but for many years, Carlisle’s best days were staying with Robert and James. She had her own ‘Carlisle’ bedroom that was appropriately - age - updated with each year Carlisle got a little older. Those ‘alive’ happy festive summer days — with dinner parties - fun adult friends that James and Robert invited over to Bank Street — we’re glamorously enriching
Back in Ohio ….Carlisle never saw men hold hands or call each other honey.
And back in Ohio, her mom was busy with a new baby.
So….I liked the setting in the beginning.

As Carlisle got older, (a professional choreographer living in Los Angeles)….the storytelling, (over-written),
the writing [long rambling descriptions of inconsequential things], slow pacing, more telling and less showing, events that didn’t build cohesively together, cliches, overly mambo-jumbo melodrama, professional name dropping that felt flat [showy rather than purposeful], and a puzzling plot…..(Carlisle and her father were estranged for nineteen years)….
It took much too long —to learn ‘anything’ about the estrangement— (other than we know there was a betrayal) and when we ‘finally’ do learn what happened—it seemed insignificant.
I felt it was ‘rude’ to drag out the major plot for more than half the book….only to fill the prose with ‘impressive’ Ballet jargon…..and other unnecessary details that had little to do with the overall story.

BORING…moments danced side-by-side with substantial moments.
For example — who knows much about “Pavane”?
[a stately dance in slow duple time, popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and performed an elaborate clothing]
Boring storytelling choices were intertwine throughout this novel.
A couple more examples:
“Afternoon in Los Angeles. I am doing a pavane in my living room because of this job coming up where I need to provide Baroque choreography for a movie. I’ve been told strict historical accuracy isn’t as important to the director as ‘wit’, which could mean absolutely anything at all (including strict historical accuracy), so I need to have options ready”.

Or…
“The guy who delivers pot to my employer’s son tells me his cat sitter also did ballet. My employer is an enormously wealthy widow who runs a charitable arts organization. James was right: art in America has always relied on gorgons”.

What? Gorgons? Greek mythology? Snakes?
Really? That’s art in America?
A gorgons head is a symbol of terror, death, …..used to ward off evil.
Art is a dangerous threat in America?
The storytelling often just got not only mundane but ridiculous.

I know next to nothing about editing — but this book needed more re-writes and a seriously skilled editor.

The best parts was of the storytelling were the psychological inquiries into troubled relationships:
Carlisle’s father was dying. And not only was she estranged from him for 19 years but she pushed her mother away as well.
“I was a disloyal daughter to her too. I allied myself with men who let me into their lives for two weeks a year. I pushed her away and she let me do it too easily, which I resented”.

I kept reading through my disappointments. Some plot developments didn’t make sense or should have been explained more…and the ending was anti-climatic.

2.5 stars ….rating up to 3 average stars with flaws.

This is no doubt a beautiful novel, but I had to put it down early on because the writing was just not for me. I regularly read literary fiction but I think this was more literary than I enjoy. It's beautiful, but I struggled to pick up and maintain focus. Four stars because I don't want my personal preference to take away what is clearly a well-written novel.

They're Going to Love You is a beautifully written, yet heartbreaking novel about life, family and struggle. Raised by a ballerina and ballet choreographer, Carlisle Martin a ballet choreographer herself has been estranged from her father for 19 years. When she received a phone call that he is dying, Carlisle takes a hard look at herself, racked with guilt, to determine how she can visit him.

Character-driver and written as a stream of conscious the story took me a beat to get in sync with but once I did, I felt the words flowed right off the page and into my brain. The story is compelling, inspirational and will have you hanging on every last word. I felt an instant connection to Carlisle because of my own experiences growing up with chaotic parents and I enjoyed that They're Going to Love You chronicles Carlisle's life from young to current so that the reader is able to track what and why certain things happen.

Overall I really enjoyed this book and would recommend reading it. Also, I love that the name Carlisle was used for a female character, it's not that common and I enjoyed it.

Thank you to NetGalley, DoubleDay Books and Meg Howrey for giving me access to an eARC in exchange for feedback.

Wow, this is a stunning book full of turmoil, emotion, and sincere humanity.

Carlisle was raised by a ballerina and ballet choreographer, then pursued her own dreams of becoming a professional ballerina, but was unsuccessful due (in part) to her unusual height. This story follows her from childhood to mid-forties, exploring the complicated relationships she has with both of her parents as well as her father's partner, James. After a falling out with her father, Carlisle hasn't really spoken to him in nineteen years, but when she is informed of his impending death, she struggles with her own grief and guilt while deciding when to visit, how to behave, and what to say.

This book is written in sort of a stream of consciousness style, which make it extremely approachable and relatable, even with all of the heavy, difficult topics that it covers. AIDS, suicide, rejection, depression, loneliness, grief, anger, abortion — the list is endless. And yet, the story is beautiful and empowering, championing the power of love and forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, it's also sad, but not in the way that will pull you under and depress you when you finish the read.

I laughed aloud several times, smiled to myself even more frequently, and saw many pieces of myself in Carlisle despite our extremely different circumstances. This book and its characters are beautiful and heartbreaking in equal measure. I wholeheartedly recommend it, even if you've never seen a ballet. (But in that case, I also recommend you go and see a ballet!)

Thank you to Meg Howrey, Doubleday Books, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC!

This book felt really really slow to me. I really wanted to love this, especially based off of the blurb. This book is ultimately about family and the complexities of relationships.

The writing is beautiful and poetic, but at times felt like it tried to be too lit fic. It lost my attention spam more than a couple times and had to go back to see what I missed. It does pick up in the middle once more details are revealed, but I just think this is not my flavor.

The cover is beautiful and I wanted to love this. As you can tell from the reviews, most of the readers loved this!

Thanks Netgalley and Doubleday Books for a chance to review this!

Ballet choreographer Carlisle Martin hasn't spoken to her father in 19 years when she gets a call and finds out that he's dying.

The publishers blurb made me think the AIDS crisis would be at the forefront of this story, like in The Great Believers, but that’s not the case at all. AIDS is very much in the background. Instead, it’s about the relationship between Carlisle and her father and between Carlisle and her father’s partner, James. It’s extremely character-driven, internal, and small in scope. Nothing really happens, especially for the first half of the book until you start finding out why Carlisle and her father are estranged, but the writing is beautiful and I found that the (digital) pages still turned quickly.

Ballet is the main theme and backdrop of this story, and I loved that element. It’s obvious that Howrey is a dancer herself. I danced throughout high school and college, and while it wasn’t ballet and I wasn’t all that good, it was really fun to immerse myself in the world of dance and the mind of a ballerina for the duration of this book

Overall I really enjoyed this story. If a character-driven novel about ballet sounds appealing to you, pick this one up! Ultimately, while I loved the reading experience, I’m not sure this story will stick with me in the long term, so I give it 4 stars.