I’m not a big non-fiction reader. I may look at the blurb but then normally, I just pass them by. However, there was something I found curiously intriguing about Sorry For Your Loss. I had a friend who was married to a U.S. mortician so I am familiar to some of the workings. However, a mortuary at a north of England NHS hospital and what someone learned from it, call me morbid but it definitely sparked my interest.

Sorry For Your Loss is beautifully written and author Kate Marshall an provided an excellent view into her world. That said I can see how this book may not be for everybody. If you get icked easily or struggle to handle death, be it a loss of a child, a family member or total stranger, you may want to pass on it. The author does not shy away from any of subjects as she shares death from a medical POV while still providing a caring aspect to each loss The stories she shares run the gambit from gut-wrenching sadness to humorous.

Yes, death is a harsh reality and the perspectives Kate provides is insightful, even educational. I have always been exposed to death and accepting it as a natural progression of life. However, there has always been that mystery between what happens once someone has been pronounced dead and making it to a funeral home. The author provides insight into what happens, at least where she works, and I find it very satisfying to now have an idea. Certainly TV does not portray it this way, always being so cold, clinical and faceless. Kate gives me hope that there are people who really do care, see a person and not just a random toe tag.

A word about the timeline. The author is sharing her experiences of a year’s time. Her first year in fact and to be quite honest, I gave little notice to the exact ‘when’ when all this occurred. It was just happening over a year. No big deal, right? Or so I thought because now I am fully aware Kate’s book begins in 2019 and drifts into 2020. The year of Covid. The year the world changed. I was an essential worker and thankfully not in the medical field. The view Kate shares, dealing with the death, fear, uncertainty, it’s enough to bring back all that fear and sadness we as a world all shared.

Sorry For Your Loss: What Working with the Dead Taught Me About Life by Kate Marshall is a must read. I highly recommend it and dare anyone who reads it to not come away changed.


Stars: 5

This book gives a peek at behind the scenes of a Mortuary and the NHS health system in the UK about what happens after death. I will say reading this from an American audience perspective, they seem to give a lot more respect to the dead over in the UK. Author Kate, who writes from firsthand experience, describes people being unable to say their final goodbyes to their loved ones and bodies staying in the mortuary for months on end. I say this because this would never happen in the US, where they usually cremate unclaimed bodies within a few days and then the box of ashes gets stored. Unless criminal activity is involved, and even then I would guess there is a limit to storing the body, letting the deceased reside in a freezer environment is highly unlikely in the US.

As a health care provider myself, I really appreciated the warmth and respect emanating from the pages. You can tell Kate truly values her job and giving the grieving families the best she has to offer. While I work "with the living" as she reports many providers do in the book, I understand and empathize with the necessity to respect the dead and let people grieve. And not all grief looks the same.

It was difficult reading some of the stories, especially the ones about babies and small children, but again you can tell she really tried to give the deceased a proper and dignified send off. Such an interesting contrast to the system in the US.

When we lose someone we all want to know that persons body is being resected and cared for. This book highlights the important of just that. Katie shows so much compassion and empathy and gives the reader a look behind the scene when a person dies. Very well written with compassion and a little humor at times.

This was such a eye opening and honest book. I can’t imagine what Kate has to go through on a daily basis but her gentleness, thoughtfulness and care is evident when she shares her stories. It made me think about my views on death and what I will be like when I start losing those I love. It was interesting hearing about those people she had to come alongside of and how she guided them through their despair. A great read.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for approving me for this arc

I enjoyed this book very much, the sadness of it radiated off of the pages! Everything about this was so emotional and captivating, I thought it was fabulously written and a very good insight into the lives of the people who look after our loved ones once they have passed.

Thank you Netgalley and Ad Lib Publishers for access to this arc.

I’ll start off from the beginning with some warnings. Working in a hospital mortuary, Kate Marshall (sometimes graphically) discusses the deaths of patients from the hospital as well as deceased persons who were brought in. Many of these deaths will be disturbing and or triggering. She talks about patients with mental health issues, the deaths of babies, and neglect of the elderly among others. Covid hit the UK less than a year after she started working there which added its stresses to the job. She also briefly worked with hoarders. Readers, if you have any reason to feel you shouldn’t read this due to the subject matter, listen to your gut instinct.

What struck me the most while reading this book is that here is a woman who has found her niche. It might seem strange or bizarre for Marshall to say she enjoys her job and it makes her happy given that she works in the mortuary of a large teaching hospital in the UK that also takes care of outside deaths as well. But she is someone who has found what she is good at and takes pride in the care which she provides to not only the dead and also the living who must interact with the staff. The job that Kate does is not anything to do with pathology or forensic science nor is she a funeral home director. What she does do is start the paperwork needed to register a death, arrange to let family view the deceased before the body is taken to a funeral home, and to answer questions.

She tells stories of certain cases that have passed through the department that illustrate the vagaries of how bereavement affects people and how certain cultures deal with death. Some relatives are heartbroken and collapse. Some are devastated yet remember the good and best of a loved one’s life. A few are out for petty revenge or the deceased’s watch. Others just want a last chance to say goodbye, touch a hand, smooth hair, or read Winnie the Pooh to a preterm infant.

Kate Marshall views her job as comforting the grieving along with handling the dead with care and dignity. There are a few times she drifts into a bit of moralizing or tut-tutting but never towards the dead under her care. I do agree with her advice to tell people now that you love them and make memories when you can because life is short. B

A really interesting view into a subject that isn’t discussed enough. The respect for the dead shines through and it has left me feeling more comfortable with the subject

I was intrigued by this title and then the description. Sorry for Your Loss, What Working with the Dead Taught me About Life is a memoir about Kate Marshall’s first year working in a mortuary. Death is such a taboo subject that is hard for everyone to talk about. Dealing with death reminds us all of our own mortality on top of the loss we are suffering. I was hoping to find some comfort in this book from what someone who faces it everyday might have learned.

This book was definitely nothing short of fascinating. There was a lot I didn’t know about what happens when someone dies in a hospital and the purpose of the mortuary (at least in this northern England hospital). Logistically it was very interesting to learn more about what goes on behind the scenes. It was evident by the questions that Marshall is commonly asked how naturally curious most people are, including myself considering I picked up this book.

Of course at times it was very sad, especially the stories about the mothers who visit their babies. It was very hard to read those sections, I had very conflicted feelings over it but at the end of the day it was just heartbreaking.

Most of the time though it just felt like gossip. There were a few hopeful moments but mostly it felt like the stories were chosen based on how scandalous they would come off. I did find it comforting how much of the rules are in place to respect the rights of the deceased, but otherwise there weren’t too many life lessons as much as there was rumor.

I also was not impressed with the format. The chapters progressed chronologically with each month within the first year of Marshall’s employment, but the stories felt very scattered that way. Sometimes it felt very repetitive and other times too random. It just flew from story to story without much transition.

Overall, I thought it was definitely compelling material, but not exactly what I hoping for. Thank you to NetGalley and Mardle Books for an ARC of this book.

A true story of what it’s like to work in a mortuary and everything that goes on when your loved one passes away. Heartfelt, emotional reading that will have you in tears, both of sadness at the tragedy of your loved one but of happiness about how well cared for your loved one is looked after.

Thank you to the author, Ad Lib Publishers and NetGalley, for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book approaches a topic that most of us are very uncomfortable with - death - and gives insight into the work life of someone who deals both with the dead and those left behind. The author has an amazingly kind and loving perspective, and it's obvious that she is someone who not only takes their work, but also the tenets of basic human dignity seriously and does her work with respect and compassion. Along the way, she imparts many small bits of life wisdom that have stayed with me. Don't get me wrong, there are some heart-wrenching bits, and some humorous bits as well - overall I highly recommend for anyone inching toward considering their own mortality. Which honestly should be all of us...

This was an interesting book. I enjoyed reading about the personal accounts and learning the details.

What happens behind the scenes in a hospital mortuary? A really interesting book which recounts some of the encounters the author has had with the deceased and their families. It is fascinating to hear about the different ways people react when they have lost someone close to them.

Although we know that people work in the mortuary, because we try not to think too much about what happens when we die, I had no real idea of what these people actually do. This was both enlightening and heart warming in a strange kind of way. The author describes the care and dignity afforded to each and every corpse and I only hope that when I next have to deal with mortuary staff that they will show the same compassion that she describes.

I received a free copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

A really interesting and insightful book. Definitely recommend people read this. Thank you for the advanced copy.

I would struggle to be able to review this book due to issues with the file/download. The issues stopped the flow of the book. The issues are:
- Missing words in the middle of sentences
- Stop/start sentences on different lines
- No clear definition of chapters.

Not sure if it was a file/download issue but there were lots of gaps, stop/starts which really ruined the flow. I would love the chance to read a better version as the description of the book appeals to me.

I was aware the living can act in strange ways when confronted with death but I wasnt expecting someone working in a related field to have such compassion, respect and regard for the dead. The care the author put into to making the bodies especially babies and children look as normal as possible and the kindness provided to next of kin was really moving. It has made me curious if the dead are treated similarly in Australia.
Reading this book was a very enlightening experience which has opened my mind to a different viewpoint on death itself and the process. Also the effect of the never ending nightmare of COVID on mortuaries was something I hadn’t considered up till now. I can only imagine how stressful it was for staff involved during the worst of it all.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free digital copy of the book in return for an honest review.

Thank you to Kate Marshall, Mardle Books and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This book although shocking in its content is sensitively written and gives the reader a behind the scenes insight into life in a hospital mortuary.

It wasn't an easy read and won't be for everyone but it was well written and I'd recommend it as a left field book club choice because it would get us talking about the subject of mortality which is a subject none of us want to think about

2 stars

Honestly, as someone interested in death care, I was looking forward to reading a book from a hospital mortuary worker (as opposed to a mortician, funeral director, scientist, or investigative journalist). Unfortunately, I felt that this book was uninterested in providing any concrete information about death care and was more a rather shallow reflection on what the author ‘learned’ from working with bodies (namely: appreciate the time you have and make stuff easy for your surviving family). While these are valuable insights, they could be just as well conveyed in an op-ed, and a full-length book was far too bloated a medium for this project.

The writing is amateurish and highly repetitive. The chapters meander, ostensibly arranged to tell chronologically-ordered anecdotes but with no thematic organization. The same tidbits of information (for example, learning about women who knit accessories for the bodies of pre-term infants) are repeated two or three times. The author cannot decide whether to call the bodies she cares for “patients,” “guests,” or “clients,” which might have been a fun commentary on the awkward lack of language we have around death but in practice just came across as clumsy.

There is little to no mention of the history of the death industry in England (where the author lives and works) or the world at large, aside from noting that Muslim families like to bury their dead quickly. What little sociological, psychological, or historical insights about death we receive all come from the author’s anecdotes; no outside research has been done on any of these subjects, leaving them all feeling flat (especially because this is a memoir of only a single year working in a hospital mortuary).

The most interesting and new part of this book is the commentary on how the mortuary work changed when COVID-19 hit the UK, which, while crucial, only earned a mention in the last fifth of the book.

This book is quite short; it’s still too long. The repetitive, meandering procession of anecdotes and advice boils down to the author’s lukewarm encouragement for readers to not stress the petty stuff and focus on the positive, because life is short. Positive as this message is, it’s hardly groundbreaking, and the book does not include the lifetime experience, beautiful writing, or academic research I would expect to back up the space it takes in the telling.

'Sorry for your Loss' describes Kate Marshall's first year working in a mortuary at a north of England NHS hospital. In it, she pulls back the viewing curtain on this setting, and tells the stories of different people's lives and deaths.

Death is quite a taboo subject in British culture, and Marshall's frankness (as relayed by Watson-Brown) is refreshing, The stories were interesting and gave insights as to how a mortuary works and people's reactions to visiting it (e.g. the shock at finding a body straight out of a fridge is freezing cold, when it would always have been warm in life). However, I found some of the prose repetitive and unpolished, making it feels as if chapters had been padded. I would also have preferred slightly more personal insights as some of the tone of the book was quite othering (e.g. when talking about people who hoard). However, this book will hold its own within the cannon of literature around working in the NHS.

I picked up this book as I lost my mum this year and still find it hard without her every day.

This memoir was beautifully and sympathetically written by by Kate who works in a hospital mortuary. She is surrounded by the effects of death every day and her insight and experiences resounded with me.

Dying is part of life but it still affects the family involved deeply and this is explored with a great deal of love and compassion.

Covid robbed many families of the things which help their grief. I feel privileged as I had time to spend with my loved one.

The reluctance of society to deal with death is something which needs to be addressed and I feel this book opened up this difficult issue.

Overall the need to spend more time with our loved ones and not to sweat the small stuff was something I took from the book and a lesson I have learned as well. The process of grieving is unique to everyone and how each person deals with it is beautifully portrayed

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for my chance to read this book one I would highly recommend .

This was a brilliant exploration into the after of death. I really appreciated the authors' focus on interacting with the families of the deceased. As someone who works in healthcare, there isn't much opportunity to follow-up and support the families of the deceased, since there are always more patients. Marshall reminds us of how defining grief is to the family.
I appreciated the lighthearted moments in between, with the overall message of appreciating life and living for today.