Tough to read at times- this is about trauma- but thoughtful and thought provoking. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC, It's a helpful read.

A necessary look at grief and pain, which we will all at some point endure. I appreciated the refective tone of this book as well as the vivid writing.

This leaves you with a lot to mull over. It's very insightful and thought-provoking, and I think makes a great read-along with some similar recent titles like Rachel Aviv's Strangers to Ourselves or Anil Ananthaswamy's The Man Who Wasn't There, for comparisons of ideas about how we perceive ourselves and how the worst happening affects that.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒈𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒅, 𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅, 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔.

Afterlives is a fascinating word for people who have had misfortune dumped upon them. There is no end to feel good stories on television, in movies, and on bookshelves that recycle Nietzsche’s famous adage, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Uplifting tales of untold horrors, trauma where the victim comes out on the other side strong as an oak, wise as an owl and almost euphoric in conquering their misfortune. I always wonder, then what? As human beings, our emotions aren’t static. Each day brings challenges, more so when your way of life has been upended. Coming through the other end of accidents, illnesses, trauma, mistakes or having been the victim of a brutal crime isn’t the end of a chapter that you never pick up again. Not for those living afterlives, where their place in life has been torn from its roots. What, then, do such catastrophic events make of us?

Mike Mariani found himself facing a life-altering, chronic illness, grasping at the meaning of suffering making for a stronger human being. The adage leaves out the fragility, vulnerability, anger, pain, disbelief, shame, sorrow, confusion, resentment that arrives with the new reality. These are challenges that come to define a person, whether they want them to or not. Life as they knew it has ceased to exist and it is disorientating, suddenly they are estranged from their own lives. Funny to read such a book on the heels of Covid-19 and the deep depression people felt collectively, the unreality of routines on hold. Imagine never getting back to what is normal for you. As I read this book, I took it personally, my own health struggles and those of loved ones. The world can feel like a cold place in the wake of diagnosis, blessed to be alive, but truly feeling crucified by your failing body. You have been evicted from your identity, in a sense, and there is no amount of rallying from others, nor a warrior like stance that is going to return you to the life that anchored you before. One day you have the strength to fight, the next you plummet, that’s the ugly truth.

Brutal crime is an entirely different beast, one that I won’t pretend to understand the ramifications of. There are innocent victims and perpetrators here, sometimes a person encompasses both. I won’t deny being inspired by Mike’s subjects, who are facing their own afterlives, ones they never opted to live, but don’t think it’s meant to be an uplifting, pleasurable read so you go back to your life feeling safe and secure, tragedy barred. Sure, they have withstood the very nightmares people fear, but their lives are evolving with each day they meet. There are new challenges to face, the past returns to torment, and sometimes, memories take flight altogether, leaving them betrayed by their own minds (not uncommon in brain injuries). Another casualty is loved ones of the victims, friends and family who are now meeting someone different from the person they knew. People drop off, just another loss to mourn. If you are of a religious bend, how do the miseries you now live with take on meaning, is it deserved punishment? Are you earning your place in heaven by bearing a cross? If you are into philosophy or art, is this a source for creation, all this undue suffering and misery? If your faith is in science, how do cold, hard facts now define your purpose, your existence? It’s terrifying how are beliefs are tested.

Not all those living afterlives are victims of circumstance, take Sean, who commits a crime at seventeen that leaves him sentenced to life in prison. What led to his choices, what followed? There are many types of prisons, anyone dealing with PTSD can attest to this. It’s not just physical, mental, nor emotional. These stories truly are about ‘reconstructing’ one’s life after ruin, how the expectations of ‘pulling yourself together’ is often unrealistic and just as traumatizing as the event itself. They are reports of adversity, resilience, humility, and grief- they are personal endeavors that take constant revision. There is beauty in the ‘refinement’ each person has undertaken, and incredible strength of character, and I don’t say that lightly. These are some of the heaviest wounds I have ever read about. They are all, like us, a work in progress, but facing much harder challenges. We don’t know what fate has in store for us, philosophy, religion, or science may be a balm for our pains, but there aren’t any words or discoveries that can encompass the shifts that take place after catastrophe, to think so is an assault.

The reader is confronted by invisible lives; it reminds me that you never know what someone else is going through. It is incredible that people give birth to a new way of life, sorting through what they can salvage and what they must discard to go on. Yes, read it!

𝗣𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲: 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝟑𝟎, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗣𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴
𝗕𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲

This book was interesting, and informative. I appreciate the way the author built up his point, with so many characters and stories of trauma, as well as the changes it inflicts, in a clear, cohesive, compassionate and inspiring manner. I was sad for the circumstances and suffering yet enjoyed this book. Thank you NetGalley, the author and publisher for the e-reader for review. All opinions are my own.

Trying to cope with his own traumas, former English professor and journalist Mike Mariani set out to discover commonalities in how people are affected by profoundly life-changing traumas. The author reviewed the scientific research on trauma and conducted dozens of interviews with people who had experienced catastrophic losses.

The author relates the stories of six individuals who experienced different types of traumas: accidents resulting in traumatic brain injury, paraplegia, and leg amputation; drug addiction and gang activity that resulted in imprisonment; and a genetic condition causing eventual blindness. Interspersed with these stories, he discusses his own experiences of early loss of a parent and chronic illness. He is very good at conveying people’s stories in a relatable way.

Overall, I found this book very informative and an interesting read. I liked how the author elucidated the various ways trauma changes us both for better and for worse. I read a lot about trauma, and this is one of the best books I’ve read on how those experiences affect our identity. My only complaints are minor. I sometimes had trouble following the stories of the six different individuals since the stories are interspersed over several chapters and it was easy for me to mix them up. In addition, he sometimes succumbs to purple prose, which I occasionally found tiring.

The book includes swearing and depictions of violence. Also, be aware that the author has an extensive vocabulary, and you might encounter some unfamiliar words.

I was provided an ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: This is a very important book. The author carefully examined how transformative events--events that significantly alter one's life--create a different afterlife. He argues that Nietzsche's "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" is a flawed premise, but rather "what doesn't kill us, makes us." He carefully follows six people who have suffered life altering events: traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury, incarceration along with other hurdles. Mariani himself found his life completely altered after the onset of chronic fatigue syndrome and he writes short chapters about his own life. I believe that almost everyone will experience a life event that cleaves their lives into a "before" and an "after" and this beautifully written, carefully researched book will offer a guide path for how the life that comes after, is ideally, a life that integrates the event and is fully realized. Ed Yong recommends this book and so do I.

Thanks Netgalley for allowing me to read this book. Imagine feeling sick and lethargic and having no answers. After months of visiting doctors to finally getting a diagnosis and finding ways to adapt to your new normal. This makes the author question his life and the lives of others. This is an insightful and thought provoking journey that the author took us on.

Six people are grouped together in this book that are diverse and yet, they all have faced an intense breaking point in their lives. Each person had to search for a new awakening and the findings were approached in a scholarly manner.

Sophie Papp is from Victoria, British Columbia. She was riding in a car when her cousin who was driving lost control. Sophie was rushed to the hospital with a serious brain injury. When she regained her consciousness, this quiet easy-going young girl was now talkative with a higher degree of intelligence.

Valerie Piro from NYC was also in a car accident in 2008. The doctors spent six hours rebuilding her 7th cervical vertebra with metal plates and screws. She lost the ability to feel below her sternum and said it felt like she touched a body that wasn’t hers.

Gina Applebee from Charleston, SC was born as a twin with her sister Andrea. During the delivery in 1985, there were problems and Gina couldn’t breathe. She was literally fighting for her life. She ended up with a rare genetic disorder that caused her retinal cells to gradually deteriorate.

Jason Dixon graduated in 1997 from High School in Central Florida. He enjoyed the life of parties and met a girl from Pittsburgh. He decided to move there to be with her. He packed his belongings and some pain pills which were used by a relative that had died. It was his intention to sell them. However, he started taking the OxyContin. Next was Heroin and a run of bad decisions to pay for his drug addiction which sent him to prison.

Sean Taylor was from Aurora, CO. He was part of a gang and as a young teenager, his gun went off and the bullet went inside someone’s home and killed a young boy. He turned himself in and was sent to prison.

JR Vigil, born in 1980, was in a car accident in Guam. He had a traumatic brain injury with 42 days in ICU. Both legs had to be amputated while he was in a coma.

The author also wrote about his diagnosis with chronic fatigue syndrome. He had been an English professor at a local college in NY. He questioned how an illness, serious injury or catastrophe can change a person’s life and identity. The reader is challenged to look deep into the souls of these individuals with some quotes from Nietzsche and other well-known philosophers. The six interviewed had extreme cases of pain and it’s terrifying to think of what they endured.

It was clear that the author had piles of information in his head and could have easily written twice as much. There was an incredible amount of research done to create this book with a list of references at the end. It must have been an extensive process initially to eliminate all but six people. With each chapter, he wrote about the changes that happened in their lives – gradually over time -- which made it suspenseful.

I was impressed how he was able to convey such a detailed description of the places, feelings and thoughts of the individual profiles. His writing transports the reader to a place that makes you feel their pain with images that are strongly planted in the words. It's not a quick read as it takes some time to digest all he has to say. While there are parts that are lengthy, the material is awe-inspiring and thought provoking. This book is one that teaches about the human soul. As one of the participants said, “we love finding meaning” in life.

I had an ARC from NetGalley. I work in trauma counseling so I thoroughly enjoyed the people in the book who had trauma and how they overcame. I did not get the authors added parts about his illness, it didn’t flow. The in between stories parts were wordy and not necessary and didn’t add to the transitions. I thought it was going to have a more scientific feel to it.

Mike Mariano explores experience through clear language and thoughtful, honest reflection. A very helpful book.