1.50 Stars. I read the premise and I thought this would be a very cute read. A lesbian actress finds herself in a TV role similar to The 100 and hopes to stop the writers from making the mistake of the cruel “Bury You Gays Trope” by dating her costar IRL and having her become too popular to the fans to kill off. I love fauxmances and thought this would be a great fit instead this felt lifeless, hard to connect to and care about, and even a bit uncomfortable at times, and that was before I recognized the author’s name.

I personally don’t mind reading sapphic stories written by queer men. There are some trans and gay men that I have been reading their sapphic stories for over a decade. If I don’t know a name well normally it doesn’t stand out, so the Z R initials was not ringing a bell until I came onto Goodreads wondering if anyone else thought this book was as disappointing as I did, and then I remembered Silk Fire was under a different name and May the Best Man Win was under this one. Look, I’m not going to go into this whole big thing, but Ellor doesn’t seem to like lesbians. Do I think he hates us, not sure but I think he has some big hang-ups that he needs to work on, and he keeps getting into these controversies about it. I think in this day in age with books being banned left and right, we must be careful before we label something too problematic, but for me personally, I’m Not okay with Ellor’s dislike for me, being turned around so he can cash it in to make money on it. Again, for me personally I would choose not to promote this book, but I already did not like the story anyway, so the rating is right the only difference is I rounded down instead of up.

I don’t feel like writing much so I’ll just mention a few problems. There is no character building at all. There is a large cast of people and I honestly felt lost at who was who. I only knew the two main characters and a few family members. It took me forever to realize the brother of the main character IRL is also their best friend on the set? I’m still not even sure. I had a hard time even knowing if a character was supposed to be POC, and that was not good since that lead to what pretended to be an important part in the book, but then it fizzled away to nothing anyway. The writing just felt like a mess.

Then there were parts that just felt odd or uncomfortable. Other people have mention them in their reviews, so I won’t go into them all but one that really stood out is when an adult woman asked the main character who is not 18, yet so still a minor, because the adult knows they are a lesbian and has a girlfriend, she asks something to the affect like “you’re not doing that horrible scissoring thing are you?” The main character answers back something like “no ma’am, that’s not a real thing.” Sure, Ellor whatever you say, the new expert on lesbians. I just can’t.

This book didn't feel very welcoming towards the Lesbian community and was quite hard to read. The premise seemed interesting but I couldn't get behind some of the messages that were coming through that felt harmful. Not for me.

*I received a copy of this book in exchange of an honest review.

Lily Ashton has gained fame from playing Morgantha (a lesbian warrior) on Galaxy Spark. It's so important that they are a representation for queer girls everywhere. So when Lily discovers that Alietta, the love interest for Morgantha, is being killed off in the next season, a fake-dating scheme with the actress who plays Alieta is created. But Lily is having a hard time with the word "girl" and the way it feels when applied to her. Frey, the gaming persona that Lily has through an MMORPG world, feels real in the way that their identity never has, but they continue to be Lily because it means so much to everyone else. But how long can they pretend to be something they aren't?

A few times while reading the book, I enjoyed it. I liked that almost every character was introduced within the first chapter. While it did feel a little bit info dumpy in the first place, it was nice to kind of get a feel for everything. But there were a few things that turned me off. The first being pacing. I kept feeling like I wasn't really getting anything out of the book. At times it sped along, like the first few chapters, but then it seemed as if nothing was happening. I wish the characters didn't feel so flat and one dimensional. It was pretty easy to guess what was going to happen through the rest of the book. However, there is a lot of representation in the book.

A cute Hollywood YA romance that tries to tackle first relationships, gender revelations, and the infamous bury-your-gays trope. It's a sweet story, and though the casual narration style wasn't an immediate hit for me, I did ultimately like the book.

Thank you to NetGalley, HarperCollins Children's Books, and HarperTeen for the e-ARC of this book. I didn't know anything about the author or their previous works going into my reading, but the description sounded right up my alley - especially in terms of fandom, being super-online, and on-screen media representation. SO much of my reading experience felt like I was reading a very rough first draft -like not even the draft you turn in for edits, but the kind of rough sketch you write yourself when you just have to put an idea down on-page. There were a few moments throughout that seemed like they could be going in an interesting direction and then that would immediately pass - and I wonder if I was seeing glimpses of actual editing work, either by the author or I'm sure a very talented publisher edit team. There were way too many characters or names mentioned in a relatively short amount of pages, especially from the beginning, and it's a lot to keep track of - but also they never went anywhere memorable. The leads also fell flat to me, and never made me care about anything they were experiencing. I also feel like you have to be VERY online and immersed in social media fandom or fanfic communities or gaming etc. to understand ANYTHING that's going on, but if you ARE, then you instantly will spot the problematic elements as they occur. I could see where the story might go, where it may say something meaningful about fandom or actors advocating for their characters to be properly represented on-screen, or it *could* be an impactful work about a teen discovering their gender identity -- but I found that this text actually never got there or did any of those well.

From the cover, I was expecting a fun romantic comedy. Instead, the lead character is angry and entitled. They're constantly bemoaning the fact that something has to change and only they can change it but it's such a burden. It just seemed like, given Frey's support system, they could have found better ways of handling the situation.

This could have been an amazing, empowering, uplifting story. Instead, I was just confused and annoyed.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC I received. This is my honest and voluntary review.

*I did not know of the authors beliefs and behaviors before requesting this book.*
*Please support the HarperCollins strike*
I just felt uncomfortable during the whole reading. There is a reason this book has a low review rating.
1. If the author is this problematic, they don't deserve the attention. I don't feel comfortable speaking about what has been said, as I am a white cisgender lesbian. Just research it.
2. This is a YA novel. That means talking about sex acts in that way (An adult asking a MINOR about "that awful scissoring thing) is not acceptable. Not to mention that the author is obviously not educated in the matter.
3. There were so many side characters that I couldn't really remember any of them. They were there, but no real personality.
4. The main reveal was so predictable that I knew what it was way before reading it.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you for this eARC copy.

This book was a bit slow for me to get into but the cover is very cute.

I loved that there are different representations of the Queer community throughout,

I think that the overall story needs a little more development and the premise sounded amazing and promising but fell flat.

Book description

Queer actor Lily Ashton has found fame playing lesbian warrior Morgantha on the hit TV show Galaxy Spark. Lily knows how little representation queer girls have, so when the showrunners reveal that Morgantha’s on-screen love interest, Alietta, is going to be killed off, Lily orchestrates an elaborate fake-dating scheme with the standoffish actress who plays her, to generate press and ensure a happy ending for the #Morganetta ship.

But while playing a doting girlfriend on- and off-screen, Lily struggles with whether a word like “girl” applies to them at all.

Lily’s always been good at playing a part. But are they ready to share their real self, even if it means throwing everything they’ve fought for away?

Life is hard when you are a tv star. Life is even harder when you are one of the only out and proud members of a tv show. Lily Ashton realizes that representation truly matters. In fact, Lily has fought for the show to be more inclusive and allow her character of Morgantha to have a relationship in the upcoming season with Alietta. Yet they soon find out that Morgantha and Alietta’s love is going to be short lived as Alietta will be killed off. Having fought so hard for such positive representation and due to some seriously bad press Lilly and the actress playing Atietta, Greta, start a fake-romance to try and save not only Atietta, but Greta’s job.
Off the screen Lily is just a nerd who loves to escape into the world of video games where they can be anything that they want. They can have friends who know nothing about them and just escape all the stress of being a big tv star. In fact, it is in this game that they start to question their identity.
Can Lily figure out who they are and how it fits with their current life.
This book was odd. I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it. I appreciated that there are different representations of the community throughout, and that Lily is trying so hard to figure out who they are. Yet reading through fellow readers reviews I am a bit upset to hear that there is some type of scandal involving the author. While I don’t know the statements made by this author, if they have been saying some of the things, I am reading then this book is not one that I can recommend to any patron. Representation matters, but who it comes from matters as well.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. I wanted to enjoy this book and I did not know about the author’s problematic behavior, I learned after. I think the concept sounds amazing but I would have been better if it was written by a woman. This book fell flat for me.

2.5 stars

Lily Ashton found fame by playing Morgantha on the popular TV show, Galaxy Spark. She loves the show for the queer representation it has, but when she learns that the showrunners plan on killing off her on-screen love interest, she decides to do something about it. So, she arranges a fake dating scheme with her co-star in hopes to drum up support for their relationship.

Though Lily plays a queer girl on screen, she recently has starting struggling with her gender identity and whether the term "girl" really applies to her. Through her online gaming community, she's able to find her true identity. And if she's lucky, she maybe will even find love.

Thanks to NetGalley and HarperTeen for an advanced copy of this book to review! I was intrigued by the premise, but unfortunately the actual book fell a little flat. I think it's partially because there are a lot of characters and things going on in this book that it was difficult for the author to develop any one aspect of the story well.

Before reading this, I didn't know about the author's problematic comments about the lesbian community, but I unfortunately thing they also come out in this book. It's like the author thinks that there's just one way of being queer, and if you don't fit that mold, you can't be a part of that community. There's one moment where, after being dressed up in a gown for an event, the main character says "You can't see a trace of queer on me." While that may be true for Frey, implying that being dressed super feminine somehow makes you less queer is....not great. It's little moments like that peppered throughout the book that really made me inwardly cringe.

However, there is ace representation and I did appreciate the conversations about sex not proving your identity. Those are important in the context of the LGBTQ community, I just wish it hadn't sort of brought down other people who may identify as a part of that community.

All in all, there was potential, but much of this book fell flat. There's lots of other LGBTQ+ YA that I'd recommend instead.

I'm struggling to write this review. I would have done anything for this book when I was the target age for it. Even as a fully fledged nebulously queer adult, it hit me almost comically hard. When I was a teenager, the idea of queer representation in children's media was hilarious or horrific, depending on who you asked, and the representation itself also fell along those two poles - the reduction of queerness to comedy or to tragedy. When Korra and Asami walked off screen, holding hands, I was 19. Ellior tackles this subject matter with earnestness and gravity, but also joy. My heart ached and leapt for the characters, sweet teenagers fighting to see themselves in their own art. This book is a joyous gift of authentic teenage emotions despite the above average shenanigans. Despite the extraordinary circumstances, characters grapple with everyday problems only magnified. Struggling with standing up for themselves, their privileges and lack thereof, with feelings of inadequacy and self esteem, and parent troubles.

EDIT: I am leaving my original review intact, however learning more about the author changes the perception of much of the dialogue from teenagers-trying-to-understand-nuance in a flat out skeezy light. I am deeply disappointed.

Thank you to Netgalley for the advance review copy! All opinions in this review are my own.

Also, I did not learn this author was problematic until after I received my ARC.

Ok first off! The cover! That was the reason I decided to pick this one up! 10/10 gorgeous

I really like books about actors and their experiences on set, so that was a positive about this book.

However, I didn’t feel like the characters and plot were entirely fleshed out. While I was reading, I kept feeling like there was just something missing.

Not planning to pick up another from this author.

First, thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Now, the author is probably not the person to be writing this kind of thing; some of the things in this book come off as... Well, yikes. But even outside of that, the book just wasn't great. There were too many characters, it went too quickly, the writing was just okay, and it fell flat in literally all the ways, which was so disappointing because the premise promised so many things that ended up not being delivered. The characters were hard to care about; in fact, all of them were vaguely unlikable in the beginning. I know the intended audience for this book, but it still seemed to talk down to its readers.

The premise sounded lovely. Nothing was carried forward in the book, unfortunately.

1/5

ARC kindly provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review

When I first read the blurb of this book, I knew it was something I definitely wanted to read. During the time when I got approved of the e-galley, the Netflix TV show and sapphic vampire romanceFirst Kill was cancelled after its first season. While I never watched the show (I watched half of one episode but found it just wasn't for me), a lot of fans, especially members of the LGBTQ+ community were disappointed about its cancellation. It sparked a lot of conversation about queer representation and the treatment of queer people on TV and so, the timing of this book was impeccable all things considered.

Acting The Part follows queer actress, Lily Ashton who, after finding out their love interest in the popular TV show they star in is going to be killed off, creates an elaborate fake dating scheme where they date the actress playing their love interest to generate publicity and save their #Morganetta ship from being cut. While Lily plays the part of a female actress in real life, online, Lily plays in multiplayer games where the character they play, Frey, fells more authentically them than the female body they see themselves as in the mirror. Since #Morganetta feels so important to viewers, Lily continues presenting as a girl however, the more they continue the charade, the more they feel the hurt and weight of pretending.

While I really liked the premise of the book, I felt like it felt a bit short in its execution which is such a shame because I really wanted to love this book with all my heart. For starters, I personally felt like while we saw Lily change, develop and understand who they are inclusive of their transition from she/her pronouns to they/them, I didn't really get the depth I was looking for all this time. I wanted to know how Lily was feeling and understand their layers and personality but unfortunately, I didn't really connect and feel attached to them.

I knew why Lily enjoyed online gaming and what the community they play with has done for them but I felt like that online group was just there without adding anything necessarily more to the story. There were foundations laid for a really great found family trope but I felt like it wasn't taken advantage of. It was clear the group was mainly used to deepen Lily's relationship with their online love interest but I felt like if there was more depth and layering to the friendship group then this book's rating for me would've definitely increased.

Additionally, the book felt really fast and as such, it was hard to connect to any of the characters which was really disappointing. Greta, who was the girl Lily fake dated, was introduced really early on in the story and while they were dating, I felt like Greta wasn't really present. As in, their dates were often skimmed over without going into detail or without showing the moments where the two were together. As a result, I couldn't really connect and fall in love with the two as a couple. There wasn't enough chemistry between them and even when the big reveal happened, I didn't really feel anything because there was little to no romantic tension. That was because so many of those tension-filled moments were left out and we were left with a skeleton of what could've been a great romance.

The other thing I found a bit off was how there were apparently two show-runners running an entire TV show. Keep in mind this TV show was said to be extremely popular with heaps of fans around the world. It felt a bit unrealistic that there were only two people ensuring its success with one writer and one director.

That being said, the book did shine a light on a lot of relevant topics such as racism, ageism, privilege and homophobia in the film industry. I would love to see more books deal with these topics in the future. The book primarily focused on Lily's journey of self-discovery and I felt like this was its main strength. Without this reflection of sexuality, identity and what it means to be a trans-masc person, I probably would've rated it lower if I'm being honest. While it added a few layers to Lily's characterisation, with all the other factors involved, it wasn't enough to increase my rating.

All in all, Acting the Part, while dealing with a lot of relevant and important topics, did fall short pacing wise and romance wise. I wanted more depth to the chemistry and to the characterisation of the main character and the side characters. While the personality and the characterisation of Lily did showcase a lot of reflection on identity, sexuality and privilege, I felt like there wasn't enough there to really connect me to their character.

ACTUAL RATING: 2.4 STARS

disclaimer: had no idea about this author and their comments until after looking at these reviews but I was already done the book so…

this could’ve been so much better, I wanted to love it - a comp to Ashley Poston is practically a guarantee read for me. however, we had so many characters and what felt like so few time with them that I didn’t really care about them?? also the writing…this was so repetitive I really just couldn’t enjoy it. this book just wasn’t for me.


thank you to NetGalley for an arc in exchange for an honest review

The story centers on two actors in a popular fantasy show, Galaxy Spark. The first person narrator, Lily, who has been out as queer for a while now, is in a gender identity crisis, which isn't helped by her mother's plan to have Lily's next gig be a heteronormative modern Cinderella story. Lily convinces Galaxy Spark's producers to create a queer romance for Lily's character Morgantha and co-star Greta's character Alieta, and of course that's followed by a fake offscreen romance. Meanwhile, Lily is living a true life as Frey in an online questing game, where they first identify themself as trans with some help from a new member of the band, Aida.

When I went to check out what others said about the book on Goodreads, I noted a lot of rancor. Readers accuse author Ellor of being misogynistic and lesbophobic. I looked around for an inciting incident but didn't find it, so I'm unclear if Ellor, a trans man, did something egregious, or if the commenters are TERFy. Therefore I read the book with as much awareness and care as I can summon as a ciswoman. I did find that Lily paints womanhood with a femme brush and denies that femmes can be queer.

"...you can't see a trace of queer on me. I'm stuffed in a tight green dress, frilled and fitted with a wide bust. My shoulder-length hair is curled and stacked high on my head. Heavy makeup covers my zits, and my blush and eyeliner are bright and camera-ready."

I think there are hella queer femmes who would live their best lives in a premier gown.

Also, "Thank god I didn't pick up on the conditioning that gives so many girls in Hollywood a problem with food. Maybe that should have been my first clue I wasn't a girl at all."

I will note that I appreciate the lowercase "god."

I've got more quotes to back up my thoughts on Frey/Ellor's narrow definition of queer, but there are other aspects of the book I want to amplify, like Greta being asexual and Frey's journey with whiteness and using their/his platform for pushing back against racism, as well as homophobia. The Galaxy Spark creators assemble a diverse cast and then kill off the non-normative characters at the first opportunity for maximum emotional manipulation. It's Frey's half-brother, who is Black and another actor on the show, who kicks off the rebellion, expanding Frey's understanding of who all is othered in the industry, and suddenly everyone is on board, with a female executive saying, "When I came into this business, I was fighting with all I had just to carve out a space for me. But a space for me, a cis white lady isn't good enough."

Ellor gives us a view into coming into yourself as a sexual minority even within sexual minorities with Frey wondering, "Maybe I'm just nebulous and weird. Maybe I made all this dysphoria up for attention." and "It's harder to say 'I'm nonbinary' or 'I'm asexual' without getting into a big debate defending that your identity exists." For me the struggle went a little long, but ymmv. There are important realities conveyed in this queer teen romance. I'm eager to learn what others more vulnerable to misportrayal have to say about the book.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the free DRC.

Just as a disclaimer: I don’t know what the other reviews are about. I’m not a big Twitter person and honestly the less I know about an author the better.

This book felt very much like a chronically online book, if that makes sense. Like if you were on tumblr or Twitter a lot, that you would grasp the book. Which I am on tumblr a lot so thankfully it did make some sense to me, but I didn’t love reading it. The characters in general felt flat, like they were molded to fit in with the general ship that would resonate with (white) queer fans online but without any of the actual work to give them solid personalities. There were nice elements in here, but I wasn’t very interested in the overall book.

Even if the author WASN’T problematic, this would still be 1 star. It would have been 1.5, but the mention of TikTok drove it down to 1. You need to understand A LOT about internet culture to understand this book. Thankfully I do, but many won’t. There are a lot of references to AO3 and fanfics in general and cancel culture in general as well. There are way too many characters and I hated all of them

I could not possibly have loved this ARC more. Lily is a queer teenage star on a scifi show who is trying to figure out her future when she finds out her show is about to kill off her character's grilfriend. Lily and her costar, shy Greta, are determined to save the "ship" and bury the kill your gays trope. Lily feels most themself when she is playing with her online video game friends, who don't know she's a famous actor. This book has everything. Identity discovery, FAKE DATING, mystery admirer, mistaken identity, nonbinary representation, WLW representation! 5/5 stars.