Mrs Tobias is a character-driven multi-generation story about the relations between daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws. It features solid New York City, specifically UWS, and Jewish references that readers might enjoy. The story was well written, though I personally prefer a little more plot than this offered. Still, the characters were thoughtfully developed, and I appreciated how this story had both humorous and heartfelt moments.

Thank you Harper Perennial for my final copy in exchange for my review.

“despite grumbles and gripes, irritation and incompatibility, I believe we are a family united in optimism.”

The Real Mrs Tobias is a witty, sometimes gritty, easy yet poignant read… a multigenerational revealing of the intricately complex relationships of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law (lol, all sharing the name Mrs Tobias!). It’s a wonder more books don’t showcase this relationship… it’s ripe for storytelling!

As in any family, there are interesting dynamics in the relationships between the MILs/DILs as well as with their husbands and sons, which especially come to the forefront when the family gathers together. The story is told from 3 POVs (Melanie, her MIL Veronika and her DIL Birdie) and over time you see that as much as the characters are different, they are also often the same…all strong yet flawed. As the stories progress, their relationships grow, especially between Veronika and Melanie. They learn how to slowly let go of control and expectation, realizing they’re all on the same team, allowing themselves to become vulnerable and develop respect for one another. Some of the more touching moments are the beautiful snippets where you see real respect develop betw Veronika and Melanie.

One thing I loved was the painting of relational contrasts throughout the book: mother/daughter vs mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, MOTHER-in-law/daughter-in-law vs FATHER-in-law/daughter-in-law; mother/daughter vs grandmother/granddaughter. There were also comparisons highlighted in regional personalities (midwest Iowa vs northeast NYC) and in religious tradition (Jewish and Christian).

The book is funny, but with some serious storylines as well that cover topics like dementia, infidelity, finding yourself and facing responsibility. Maybe there were too many to delve into fully, but then again, it adds to the chaos of family drama so in a way it works.

I have to say, this book had a wonderful family cadence that made me think of one of my favorite movies, “Moonstruck”. I’m thinking this would make a fun movie too!

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

Family Ties in Jeopardy

Psychotherapists abound. Where could you find a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both with viable practices? In a novel by Sally Koslow, it appears. This novel is somewhat predictable, but it has enough “chutzpah” to grab the reader from the very beginning.

Veronika, note the spelling, is the know-it-all mother-in-law who sets the rules and expects instant responses to her plans from this tight family. Mel (real name Melanie) is married to Veronika’s son, Jake, they have adult twins, Micha (son) and Jordan (daughter). It’s a larger cast of characters, and I will add one more name: Birdie, who is married to Micha. She is the most likeable character.

Altogether, it is the Tobias clan. They are a close group with many of the mundane problems and pure joys close families enjoy and endure. Micha gets in trouble, which is the basis of the plot, and the story moves forward, with more characterizations and small scenes that were not necessary.

The novel peaks when Birdie leaves Micha and the family must plow through some difficult health problems mixed with the joy of granddaughter, Alice. There are startling scenes; however, Koslow packs in many secondary characters. Each one serves a purpose with a different agenda, but it becomes overwhelming. Some of the humor is lost in the feisty scenes among family members.

The women are stronger than the men, or course, as they steer through family crises. The novel focuses on the Jewish Tobias family. Nonetheless, Birdie’s Iowan family represents a sharp contrast and provides astute perception among resilient strong women.

My gratitude to Net Galley and Harper Paperbacks. All opinions expressed are my own.

Sally Koslow's "The Real Mrs. Tobias" focuses, in part, on Melanie Glazer, a Jewish social worker in her mid-forties who habitually gives unwanted advice to her grown twins, Micah and Jordan. Melanie and her spouse of twenty-five years, Jake, are concerned about Micah, who married an Iowan named Birdie after she became pregnant. Unfortunately, Micah is immature, unambitious, and irresponsible. For her part, Birdie gave up a coveted spot in the Iowa Writers' Workshop in order to raise their daughter, Alice, who is almost four. Furthermore, Melanie tries, with little success, to get along with her judgmental and uncompromising mother-in-law, seventy-four-year-old Veronika, a psychiatrist and analyst with a thriving private practice in Manhattan.

Koslow's characters are generally well-drawn, and we grow to care about them. Moreover, there are humorous and satirical passages about mothers-in-law who refuse to mind their own business. Meanwhile, although Micah and Birdie adore Alice and do not want to hurt her, they fear that their marriage may be unraveling. The novel touches on such subjects as adultery; a serious car accident and its aftermath; Melanie's sessions with her clients; and Birdie's decision to pay an extended visit to her good-hearted relatives in Iowa.

"The Other Mrs. Tobias" holds our interest, but it is weakened by too much hand-wringing and melodrama. In addition, as the narrative draws to a close, Koslow introduces upbeat elements that strain credulity. The underlying theme is that the Tobiases, in spite of their differences, are bound by strong ties. The members of this clan may argue vociferously, but they eventually realize that they need one another's love and support in order to navigate life's challenges. Although this book has amusing and entertaining passages, it might have been more satisfying had Koslow injected more realism into her portrait of a family in crisis.

The Real Mrs. Tobias by Sally Koslow is a highly recommended domestic drama about mothers- and daughters-in-law.

This mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship story is set in NYC in 2015. The plot follows three women in the Tobias family. The matriarch, Veronika, is a psychotherapist; Melanie (Mel) is both a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law and a counselor; and Birdie who is newly married to Mel's son, Micah,is mother to Alice. When Micah does something irresponsible and stupid, all the women chime in with their opinions on what he should do and how he should respond. Since they have already been having marital problems, after a visit from the police, Birdie takes Alice back to her parents house in Iowa.

This is an entertaining look at how strong, determined women ostensibly keep families together but the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship story is also full of stereotypes. For the most part, each chapter was narrated by one of the Tobias women, Veronika, Mel, or Birdie. The focus on a multi-generational family and all the problems inherent in their lives allows for the plot to build drama and tension. The characters are portrayed as real people with flaws and shortcomings, but with a rather light touch.

Those who love family dramas will likely enjoy The Real Mrs. Tobias. The writing is excellent and Koslow does a good job providing drama and humor in the plot. Since I enjoyed it but didn't love it, I'm a bit of an outlier. Admittedly, I'm becoming rather tired of novels that are set in NYC, let alone portraying all Mid-Westerner's as stereo typically stoic. This could be a good choice for books clubs that focus on women's fiction since there are plenty of topics and plot points in the novel that beg discussion.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of HarperCollins via NetGalley.
The review will be published on Barnes & Noble, Google Books, Edelweiss, and Amazon.

While this sounded interesting to me, there is something about the writing that is not working for me. After trying this book multiple times and not wanting to dig back in, I am going to DNF for now. I think this will go over with the book club crowd well.

A fun read about an Upper West Side Jewish family that includes a few generations and focuses on the mother-in-law relationship. If you enjoy a family saga and can identify with New York Jewish life, you're sure to eagerly wolf down this novel. The distinct personalities of each character make for an unforgettable romp through their lives and contemporary issues are addressed as well. All in all, a nice break from one's own reality.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.

The three women in the Tobias family - Veronika Tobias ( the matriarch), Mel (wife of Veronika's son Jake), and Birdie ( wife of Micah, Veronika's grandson) are as different as they could be. Veronika is cold as ice and no one dares to cross her. She loves her husband passionately, even more than she loves being a mother to Jake. Now that her husband is showing signs of dementia, her icy facade is starting show cracks and she is afraid her husband will forget who she is. Mel wants to be in control and has never met a problem she can't fix, except for her children that is. Her endless pushing and prodding in their lives is not only pushing her daughter away but is doing nothing to help her son's marriage. Micah made a mistake and Birdie is unable to forgive him for it. Granted, he hasn't exactly owned up to that mistake and tried to make things right. Until he does, Birdie isn't sure if she can move forward in this marriage. Three strong-willed Tobias women.... only time will tell if they will remain a family or scatter to the winds.
This book was excellent. This was family drama at it's best. This was reminiscent of "This Is Us" and books by Barbara Delinsky, Elin Hilderbrand, and Jane Green. There was not only conflict between each mother-in-law & daughter-in-law, but also within each family. This book will appeal to anyone, I think, because we all experience some sort of family bond.... be it through blood, marriage or friendship. I highly recommend this one!

The premise to this multigenerational novel sounded intriguing, but the writing style just wasn't for me.

A complex, multi-layered story that makes you ask yourself just how far you would go for a little vid one. Multi- dimensional characters really bring the story to life

This is a multi generational story told from the point of view of three women, Veronika, Mel, and Birdie. They have all married into the Tobias family. Veronika is the matriarch, Mel is her daughter in law and Birdie is Mel’s daughter in law. I found the story well written and the characters engaging. Family dynamics play a central role. I read this in two days because it was a really enjoyable read. I was left wanting to know what would happen next to these women, always a sign that the book is a keeper!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me early access to this book in exchange for an honest review.
In "The Real Mrs. Tobias", we are introduced to three women in the Tobias family - each one at a different stage of their life/family. The lives of Veronika (mother-in-law to Mel), Mel (mother-in-law to Birdie), and Birdie are told through alternating POV chapters. I found the characters to be well-developed, and the plot line believable. I was anxious to see what was next for the women and their families in between my reading sessions. The book is likely to appeal to those who enjoy family drama and character development, versus a page turning plot. #TheRealMrsTobias #NetGalley

A witty, big-hearted multi-generational story about three women who have married into the Tobias family in NYC. The matriarch, Veronika, is a therapist dealing with her husband's slide into dementia. Her daughter-in-law Mel is also a therapist, dealing with middle-aged re-evaluation of her life choices, particularly her marriage. Birdie is married to Mel's son Micah, who struggles to grow up and accept responsibility after a drunken accident one night. The story alternates between the women's stories and there is much to relate to no matter what stage of life the reader is in. Would make a fantastic book club selection.

The Real Mrs. Tobias is a pleasant read following three Mrs. Tobias - matriarch Veronika (the original Mrs. Tobias), Melanie (Veronika’s daughter-in-law), and Birdie (Veronika’s granddaughter-in-law and Melanie’s daughter-in-law). Veronika is a psychotherapist whose poise and stern nature intimidates Melanie and Birdie. Melanie is described as flighty. She is a counselor and devotes most of her energy to loving her only granddaughter, Alice, and worrying about her son, Micah who seems to be squandering his life away and is prone to making terrible decisions. Birdie is Micah’s wife and her patience for him is wearing thin. She left a prestigious writing program in Iowa to follow Micah to New York and is now wondering whether she made the right call…

There is plenty to enjoy about the story. It is chock full of drama and the chapters alternate between Veronika’s, Melanie’s, and Birdie’s situations. There is a lot going on throughout the novel and while that helps create necessary tension and moves the plot forward I also think having so many plot points prevented us from really getting to know or be able to sympathize with any of the characters. Also, Micah was terrible and I feel like this wasn’t mentioned enough.

It reminded me of Therese Anne Fowler’s It All Comes Down to This as they share the family drama / multi-generational aspect and focus on women in the family. Recommended to anyone looking for a diverting read about the women in one family trying to live their lives as happily as they can.

Thank you Harper Perennial and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy.

Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review
Expected publication date: September 13, 2022
“The Real Mrs. Tobias” is a foray into the complex and complicated relationships of mothers and daughters- in law. Sally Koslow’s multi-generational tale covers marriage, divorce, Lewy body dementia, in vitro fertilization and, the shadow over it all, the heartbreak of unachievable expectations.
The three women known as “Mrs. Tobias” are; Veronika, the matriarch and psychotherapist living with her husband, David in New York City, Mel, Veronika’s daughter-in-law, a social worker who always feels unable to meet the expectations placed on her since becoming a Tobias, and Bertie, Mel’s daughter-in-law from the Midwest, who feels like a fish-out-of-water in bustling New York City. All three women are desperate to live their own lives, but also feel the need to incessantly involve themselves in the lives of their family members. When each female is struck with their own personal tragedy, only the strong will of all three Mrs. Tobias’ can pull the entire clan through it all.
Koslow’s mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship story is the story from which all such stereotypes derived from. An overachieving mother, who disapproves of her son’s choice in a wife, and the women who feel the need to meet her expectations, while never quite being able to reach them (and avoid their own disapprovals as well). This story had me reeling, laughing, crying and sighing- sometimes all at once.
The characters are completely honest and relatable, with their quirks and eccentricities. Each chapter was narrated by one of the Tobias women, so it was easy to build a rapport and camaraderie with all of them. When Veronika, Mel and Birdie reveal their vulnerable, emotional sides, it only made me love them more.
“The Real Mrs. Tobias” is a charmingly heart-wrenching read, and I flew through the pages. The plot was easy to invest in, and Koslow’s ending delivered on all fronts.

I enjoyed The Real Mrs Tobias by Sally Koslow. It's easy to engage with the story of the 3 generations of Mrs. Tobias--Veronika, Birdie, and Mel, and their extended family as they traverse life changes and necessary choices. I was really enjoying the book until a highly improbable plot point came about and then I was distracted by the improbability and how I wished an editor had helped the author make different choices. Sadly the improbability and the fall out turned my empathy to dislike for one character. Others may not be as bothered by this coincidence in which case this is a 4 star read but for me I'm a 3.5
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

“The Real Mrs. Tobias” is the latest novel by Sally Koslow, author of “The Widow Waltz” and “Another Side of Paradise.”

Here, we meet three generations of women, each who has had the privilege to be Mrs. Tobias. We start with the matriarch of the family, Veronika, a psychotherapist, is used to solving her patients’ problems, but the problem she cannot fix is her husband's rapid deterioration into dementia. Her daughter in law, Mel, also a psychotherapist and mother to adult twins, is facing middle-aged angst and has started to question her marriage to Jake as she reconnects with a past lover. Mel’s own daughter in law, Birdie, flees to Iowa after her husband, Micah, refuses to admit his responsibility in a hit and run that left a woman seriously injured.

I love multi-generational stories that focus on the ugliness (and joy) of family. I related to all three women, even though they were quite different. So many things go wrong in this novel, but there is also so much right with how this story is told. “The Real Mrs. Tobias” is poignantly realistic, but Sally Koslow manages to balance the moments of sorrow with plenty of humor.

Thanks to the author, the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to give this novel an early read.

I was completely caught up in the Tobias family drama. Three generations with very headstrong women and what can only be called interfering mothers and mother-in-laws. This family has more than its share of problems (health, mother—in-laws, a criminal act, adultery and artificial insemination) that are almost all made worse by interfering, strong, stubborn women. BUT, it is all very believable and not too much for one novel. And those strong women, easy to admire and like-able!
I really enjoyed this book and am grateful for the opportunity to review a DRC that was provided by NetGalley and Harper Collins Publishers.

I predict that THE REAL MRS. TOBIAS will be a huge success! This is a well-written engaging family saga about three women who marry into the same family.

I especially admired the inter-generational differences among the women and how Koslow portrays each woman's inner struggles as contrasted with her outer appearance.

Funny at times, the narrative moves along at a nice clip and the ending provides a satisfying conclusion.

Highly recommended for fans of women's fiction and well-suited for bookclubs.

Oh my goodness, I couldn't get enough of this book. So real, and full of drama. Loved this book.
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.