I will admit, I was absolutely intrigued by the idea of this book before reading. "Marriage Be Hard" seems like the quintessential book for married folk like me who grew up "churchy," as Kev describes it. While I was raised up to absorb a long list of things not to do in church, I wasn't always instructed on what TO DO in many real life situations-- relationships and marriage included. This book is said to be one that the authors wished they had before getting married, and I can understand that sentiment. Often, we aren't taught how to communicate in our marriages or how to work through the hurdles we will no doubt cross. So, while I love many points that this book addresses, as well as the idea of this book, I often found myself losing interest. Both Kev and Melissa share their experiences candidly, and I love that they are so transparent. Perhaps I wasn't in the right headspace to ingest everything they were giving at the time I read this book. "Marriage Be Hard" did, however, prompt me to address certain conversations with my husband that we normally brush off. I can definitely appreciate the book for that.

Thank you to Netgalley for the e-copy of Marriage Be Hard. All thoughts are my own.

What can I say, as a married partner I like all others, struggle to understand the love of my life. This book made me realize within the first few pages that opposites can and do attract, but this does not have to be a point of contention in a committed relationship and can in fact be something partners can come to appreciate about each other even more, the yin and the yang. This is not to say, as is pointed out by this lovely couple, that lovers will not fight. We will all have disagreements, some of them will be nasty, heartbreaking and leave scars, but all can be overcome with the willingness of both parties and the desire to remain together and work together. A great guide to put things in perspective and help you through rough times, because even the best marriages can be hard.

I don’t follow a lot of “influencers” anymore, so when I was sent this book, I was hesitant about accepting it. Much of the advice are subjects covered in most relationship books. One thing I will agree with is how damaging and toxic (my words) the purity culture movement, especially within the black church, in which I spent my entire youth apart of. Although they used a lot of examples from their personal lives, it was just an ok read for me.

I received a copy of the book via NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving an honest review of my own thoughts and opinions

Written well but I didn't get into it. Realized I never got back to it and figured I should submit a review for what I read. Love the idea just not my cup of tea right now.

An excellent take on how working with your spouse, instead of against, keeps marriage healthy and allows each other to understand and appreciate their partner.

Title: Marriage Be Hard
12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner
Written by: Kevin Fredericks; Melissa Fredericks
Pub Date: 13 Sep 2022
Publisher: Convergent Books
Genre: Nonfiction (Adult) | Parenting & Families

I requested this book as I am a follower of Kevin Fredericks. So it was probably my own fault for going into this thinking that it would be serious but with a side of humor..

The introduction seemed long but I was willing to get through it in order to get to the story. Unfortunately, I found chapter one Misogynistic and patriarchal. While I understand that neither Kevin or Melissa could alter the truth of how they were raised I was very aware that though they saw the faults in it, neither actually condemned it.

Reading the book I found myself getting angrier and angrier. Why should a women be condemned for her thoughts when men were forgiven for their actions as long as they confessed.
Why were women shamed for their body shape and how it "represented" their sex lives.? How was what men did to women the woman's fault?

"In my family’s church, it was made clear that “boys will be boys.” They will try and try again to make something happen, whether at the movies, in the car, in the bleachers, or up against the school lockers. It was a girl’s job not to tempt them. The pressure was all on us." - Melissa Fredericks.

At another point in the chapter Melissa states that it was a girls job not to tempt boys even unintentionally so girls were taught not to show their shoulders.

Perhaps I could have gotten over the whole "Saved" (as is her soul was saved by being a virgin until marriage) if it were not for the amount of rape cutler in just one chapter, it was horrific.

"When I was growing up, one of the worst things you could be called was a Jezebel. Jezebel was the bad girl of the Bible: manipulative, seductive, and wicked. The word fast was thrown around a lot when people gossiped about the girls who tempted boys—even involuntarily." - Melissa Fredericks

This shows that Melissa still sees "being tempted" as a woman's problem. There is no bodily autonomy here, Melissa even admits that she felt sex after marriage would change who she was and how she felt. She says that she was the "good girl" she was expected to be and yet she felt no different. In fact she said she still felt tied to the rules of her Church and society. Yet she doesn't seem to condemn any of it, simply acknowledging it.

As for Kevin........ he acknowledged that life in the church was different for him and that socially he was expected to lose his "virginity" ASAP.. However I think that his younger self was not so understanding of Melissa's predicament. For example when Kevin thinks he wont be having sex on his wedding night his first instinct is a whiny one.

While I understand that Kevin was tying to show us that when he and Melissa started dating he thought she was indifferent, his comparing what his ex girlfriends did for him and what Melissa wasn't doing was agitating.

Regrettably not for me at all. Big DNF

Marriage Be Hard
Interesting read, with insight into someone's marital relationship. I don't agree with everything they said or do, but that's how they do life, which isn't for everyone.

This is a fabulous book that any couple woudl enjoy. I love the breakdowns between Kevin and Melissa and the overall humor mixed with seriousness, faith, and their experiences. I feel like I know them now after enjoying their story. I had never heard of their podcast before, but will be looking into it now!

A great resource on marriage! Perfect for newlyweds and more seasoned couples a like! I loved the lighthearted approach on an important topic!

Am I married? No. Am I engaged? No. Am I in a relationship? No. Does this book apply to me? Yes. To put this plain and simple, everyone has something to learn from this. The true foundation of this is communication. Whether you are currently in a relationship or seeking a relationship, there is knowledge to be gained from a couple married nearly 20 years.

I originally picked this book up because I enjoyed KevOnStage and wanted to know more about Melissa. Truth be told, after reading this I can now say I am a fan of Melissa and will now be referring to Kevin as Melissa's husband lol. (Just Kidding) But in all honesty, I related to Melissa. When she associated herself to the person holding the kite, I was blown away.

While I never listened to the Love Hour podcast and cannot state whether the items discussed were repetitive or not. I can say, I was surprised by the amount of transparency they shared. I did not have any expectations going into the book and was pleasantly surprised at the range of topics they discuss. However one topic I wish was discussed less, mainly by Kevin, was the constant reference to sex. I may the least prudish reader who picked up an ARC copy of this book, therefore that wasn't my issue. My issue is that I believe the reference to sex was inserted in chapters that were serious for comedic relief. Specifically referencing Divorce be hard.

Looking past that, I would say if you are looking for ways to prepare your mindset for marriage, strengthen your marriage or just interested in learning how to communicate better with people you love; pick this book up!

Thank you to Netgalley and Convergent Books for allowing me to receive Marriage be Hard in exchange for a fair and honest review.

A funny look at marriage from a couple who also happen to be comedians. Love the back and forth.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and Convergent Books for the invitation to read this e-arc.*

So are you like most married people and feel alone sometimes? Do you wonder how to change that? Well Kevin & Melissa are here to help. From their personal experience, they bring you tips on how to communicate with each other and bring you closer so neither of you feels alone. They also bring you real life tips on how to bring you closer and find the happiness that you desire.

This is the book everyone needs to read before entering any serious relationship! In Marriage Be Hard, Mr and Mrs Kevin Fredericks break down 18 years of marriage into 12 easily digestible chapters. Anyone growing up in the church can relate to the strict sentiments on marriage and the taboo topic of sex. Take aways from this book include: Communicate, Be Vulnerable, Dream Together and Learn to Apologize. Melissa offers some very honest gems, while at times Kevin seemed forced to be funny at his wife's expense. Overall I enjoyed this book and recommend it to everyone, even our single friends out there.

Like Kevin and Melissa, I, too, grew up in an environment of churchy expectations. Even though I no longer follow Christianity, Marriage Be Hard provides thoughtful advice about relationships from which partners can benefit. As some reviewers stated, the advice given is probably best for those just starting their lives together. However, open communication, the central theme I took away from the book, is the key to overcoming obstacles and strengthening intimate bonds.

I received an eARC from NetGallery in exchange for an honest review.

Marriage Be Hard was a serious yet funny book about one couple's marriage and the lessons they learned over their first 18 years as spouses. Each chapter in the book covers a topic that the Frederick's discuss in depth such as: expectations, jealousy, marital roles, fidelity, and more. Their takes on each topic were really honest and transparent. It was refreshing to hear about how the purity movement affected them both and caused them to feel alot of shame when it came to issues of sex and sexual desire. You tend to hear alot of White evangelicals discuss this but its rare to hear Black folks talk about the negative impacts of the purity movement. Both Kevin and Melissa grew up in the church and were taught very rigid views when it comes to issues dealing with marriage. One of the good parts about this book is that they have a more relaxed/realistic faith view on these topics especially in their chapters on divorce and sex. Although the book is somewhat faith based (which should not be a surprise if you are familiar with the Fredericks) it is not overly preachy to the reader, they mostly teach by their own example. Overall I enjoyed this book by the Fredericks. Super fans of Kevin (KevOnStage) and Melissa (MrsKevOnStage) will definitely like it and my guess is that it will probably be even better on audio. I could definitely hear their voices as I was reading the book.

Thank you to Netgally and Convergent Books for allowing me to give my honest opinion on Marriage Be Hard.

I am a very big fan of KevOnStage and MrsKevOnStage so I knew I had to check this out. Marriage be hard give great lessons on Marriage, Dealing with a divorce, Having Kids, and Even loving yourself as a woman.

I am in a relationship and I have no kids but I feel like I took a lot of what they talked about that I will use in my relationship and with any kids that I might have. I appreciated the religious aspect as what they talked about how the church tells you to not have sex before marriage but they never tell what comes after that. That is the lesson that has always been taught to me.

I think this book is not just for Married couples with kids but I think it for singles', people in relationships and just everyone.

This is a must read.

I really enjoyed reading this book. I am about to get married myself, which is why I decided to read it in the first place. I think I related to this book because of the growing up "churchy" that the couple went through. I liked to see Melissa and Kevin's evolution about what sex is to them after the shame that good church folk inadvertently imparted in their youth. There were a lot of places where I thought, "that is really good advice, I need to save that." I think all relationships go through somewhat of what this couple go through and everyone should read this book just to see that they are not alone and all relationships go through seasons and have difficulties.

I'm a longtime fan of comedian KevOnStage and MrsKevOnStage, so I was excited to read this book about marriage despite the fact that I'm a single (divorced) ex-vangelical - and it didn't disappoint.

In "Marriage Be Hard", Kevin and Melissa share their experiences from 20+ years of relationship, and they are surprisingly transparent and vulnerable. With alternating voices the comedian and influencer discuss the lessons they've learned in chapters with titles like "parenting be hard", "communication be hard", and "sex be hard".

While their advice is not revolutionary, it is important and true, and occasionally even enlightening. A few of my favorite quotes ...

"It turns out the behavior we used to refer to as nagging was actually Melissa’s making sure she had a voice and that I was listening. "

"This doggone girl has got on my nerves , but let me make sure she has an oil change and a full tank of gas. I don’t want her to run out of gas or mess up her engine."

"we had an honest conversation about what might tempt us to cheat. "

"... a phrase that perfectly suits this conversation: “Choose us.”"

"Marriage Be Hard" is by and about a Christian couple who was raised by purity culture in the Black Church, and I wondered what effect that might have in the values shared in the book, but I was relieved to see that they spoke about things like premarital sex and masturbation in reasonable, nonjudgmental ways. Make no mistake- this is a Christian book, but it didn't feel preachy or scripture-y. It felt like the result of good therapy and hard communication. Recommend.

I received an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion. I'm very thankful to the authors, publisher and #NetGalley.
#MarriageBeHard

Absolutely amazing. So relatable and insightful. Great content. And I loved the writing style. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the way the content was brought across.

I'm not the target audience for this book (I'm neither religious, Black, married, nor do I have any kids), but I still quite enjoyed this book. I've never heard of either authors prior to reading this book (Melissa is an influencer and Kevin is a comedian, and they both have a relationship podcast) but I have a feeling that the audiobook version of this book would be fantastic, seeing as the book was written in a very conversational tone alternating back-and-forth between Melissa and Kevin's POV.

While this was primarily a book that imparts relationship advice for married couples, most of the advice provided is applicable to all long-term relationships. They cover numerous relationship topics including managing expectations, effective communication, sex, jealousy, fidelity, conflict, parenting, divorce, and of course, marriage. While there were many aspects that didn't apply to me personally (ex. the impacts of saving yourself for marriage, raising children, etc.) I did enjoy learning about Melissa and Kevin's struggles and the lessons that they've learned about their own relationship over the years.

I also loved that each chapter in this book ends with a set of "relationship check-in" questions which served as a great opportunity for my partner and me to reflect back on our relationship to determine what's working and what's not, and what can be improved upon.

I don't mean to brag, but reading this book and going through the relationship check-in questions reinforced my belief that I'm currently in the most perfect and healthy relationship ever. Granted, my partner and I have been together for 11 years now (so we're practically married) and have already worked through many key issues that were identified in this book in the earlier years of our relationship. With that being said, I think much of the advice provided in this book would have been more useful to me early on in our relationship when we were still trying to figure things out and work through our issues on our own.

As such, I would highly recommend this book to new couples and newlyweds on how to sustain a healthy relationship after they make it past the honeymoon phases of their relationship. I would also recommend this book to any couple who feels like they're entering into a rough phase in their relationship - this book might just help!