This is one of those books that I’m reading the pages I felt so seen and understood. Parenthood, and in my experience motherhood particularly during the pandemic was isolating, scary and lonely. This book validated a lot for me, while being real, honest and hilarious. I needed this, and I can see many other parents relating to these pages.

Super fascinating, easy to read, and informative. Not dry or dragging on with too much extra info. I think this is an important read!

Jessica Grose's new non-fiction book Screaming on the Inside explores her motherhood journey during the Covid-19 pandemic. Juggling virtual work, household chores, and raising a child comes with immense pressure. As Grose points out, "You could do everything right that American society pressures you to do as an individual and as a mother, and if anything goes wrong, not only are you on your own, but you will also be either tacitly or explicitly blamed for your deviation."

Grose gives us a brief history of the perils of being a woman and mother in the United States. Women could only marry and be mothers. To work outside the home was greedy, man-shaming, and unwomanly. Slowly, women were permitted freedom and control of their trajectory over time but not without public shaming. Enter Covid-19. With the absence of in-person schools, women were responsible for managing their children's education on top of working and household duties. Were the men not required to do anything? Gender roles came roaring back. Grose documents her own struggles raising three children, managing her job, and keeping everyone safe. She interviews countless other mothers who lost sleep, lost jobs, and lost relationships when all this unpaid child labor fell on a generation of women.

Excellent timing for this book. It, unfortunately, becomes dated quickly as it was completed a year ago. The Covid threat has changed, but we have learned nothing. With the sense of urgency gone, so does any progress to protect struggling mothers from a nervous breakdown.

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I requested this book because the title spoke to me, as a working mom in America I do often feel like I'm screaming on the inside in an unsustainable system. I loved this books mix of writing styles; part history, part journalism, and mostly memoir. This book made me feel seen. The author explains the dynamics at play for the American mother and details why it is so unsustainable. And she’s not wrong.

{Thank you to @MarinerBooks for my #gifted copy to read & review}

I love having #NonFictionBooks as part of my regular reading, and I am especially drawn to books on motherhood and as soon as I saw this title and cover, I knew it was a book I needed to read. This was published back in December, and while I am glad I read this book, there are parts of it that worked for me better than others. Let me fill you in...

What worked: 

I appreciated how Grose explained how current expectations on mothers are unsustainable, and how we can move towards something better, while also sharing the challenges motherhood has always dealt with. I appreciate when someone honors difficulties while also recognizing some of this is a long time societal issue.
 
The first half of the book was also super informative and I learned a lot about scientific aspects of pregnancy and new motherhood. I thought there was a great balance of talking about the issues while also talking about how we can make changes to better support mothers moving forward. 

What didn't:

Motherhood has enough judgment, and unfortunately this book did too! I appreciate breaking down the idea of the "instagram perfect mother" but instead of it feeling empowering, it felt a bit...demeaning. I am currently in my 13th year of motherhood and no matter how you slice it (staying home, part-time or full-time work...etc. it all has its struggles and issues. I often worry about what it is like for new mothers who are inundated with social media posts idealizing motherhood in certain forms, but I also wish this was discussed in a bit of a more nuanced way in this book...

All in all, I am glad I read this and it gave me a lot to think about and I do think this would be a great one to discuss! 3.5/5 stars.

I felt so seen by this book about the difficulty of being a mother in America in 2022. I loved the historical explanation of how we got here. The most important part for me was the discussion of how we are unsupported and yet the new expectations we try to meet (thanks, Instagram!). As a non-birthing mother, I felt the book focused a lot on pregnancy…but of course, that is how motherhood begins for many women. I would have loved some more examples of foster and adoptive moms and the unique pressures they face.
If you’d like to rant about what feels so hard, read this book.


Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC.

Not a review specifically. Rather an article built around the book's content. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/singletons/202301/avoiding-the-perfect-mother-trap

The first half of the book was really informational. Did you know that during the first trimester of pregnancy you are getting about 400 birth control pills of progesterone a day and by the third trimester your body is producing approximately 1000 birth control pills of progesterone a day?!? I told my husband this explains why I was an utter delight when I was pregnant LOL.

Scientist didn't lay eyes on the first human egg until 1827. It wasn't until the early 1900s that scientist recognized the equal roll of the sperm and egg to create a baby. The nerd in me was fascinated! LOL

The perfect home/wife/mother was first shown on TV in the 1950s and it is still around today. Just open IG, Facebook or any social media app and you can see pictures and posts of the perfect family with 2.5 kids. The kitchen is immaculate, not a spot of dirt or dust anywhere.

So I was expecting the last 1/3 of the book to be stories of women who raised or are currently raising children and the absurd expectations they endured and how they dealt with them. Maybe even have a few laughs at the ridiculousness of the expectations society puts on mothers. (I can laugh at myself and do so quite frequently so maybe this part is just me) Unfortunately, it wasn't. It primarily focused on how moms handled and are still handling the COVID-19 pandemic. Don't get me wrong that definately should have been mentioned in the book! It was recent and was devastating!! I just don't think it should have played such a huge part when other generations of mothers could have had an imput.
My favorite part from the book "Anytime you feel guilty about not meeting some sort of insane, unachieveable demand ask yourself: Does this help me improve my relationship with my child(ren)? If not push back. Refuse to feel the guilt and failure that plague so many of us when we are just trying to raise our families."

Screaming on the inside 🍼

Ty for the gifted copy!

Personal memoir on motherhood and how it has evolved over the last several decades.

I really liked how this book normalized the struggles of pregnancy and the difficulties of motherhood. She uses a lot of other peoples experiences with motherhood that at times felt dragging on. Touches on the impact of covid-19 and how it disproportionately impacted mothers. Filled with heart and genuine motivation to change the way we talk about and support mothers.

No rating- memoir.

This book made me so mad. But like, in the best way? It was a great mix of funny and informative. Being a mom is hard. and turns out, it always has been.

Through a blend of personal experience, sociological insight and a myriad of testimonials, Jessica Grose is able to explain the overwhelming shame associated with motherhood in America. Most importantly, she acknowledges that this is often the result of systemic issues and lack of national infrastructure regarding childcare, education and employment and NOT the fault of the individual, even if that's where blame is often placed. It's a powerful and often enraging read.

four stars for being a conversation starter, 3.5 for I feel a somewhat narrow scope in places. As someone who has felt the lived pressure of simply being a woman, took a complex journey to motherhood, I also want to invite people who might relate to this book because they work in caring professions, they mentor, they are asked to enact nurturing/care... etc. I think this book can speak in ways to a bigger audience.

Read on to see strengths and limitations, my humble opinions. Overall this is a conversation starter

This is the non fiction book I want (some, see below) people reading and giving for the holidays, it is important and necessary as we move into whatever is coming next for us with pandemic, racial/ethnic trauma, and unpacking how we support women in their many roles. Jessica Grose uses research effectively and offers conversations and insights about why (important to talk about the WHY) motherhood as we have been socialized to think, talk, and act it is problematic and not sustainable (and that it is ok that it is not sustainable as is but ... then what? let's talk!).

I can see as well that many can take a book like this and say well just ask/speak up/it's not that bad... but that is the point right? Women are so busy in all ways and mothers in particular (I don't want to ignore that these conversations can be about all women in many ways) and underrepresented women are largely invisible/ignored or judged/retaliated against for asking for or needing help. There is privilege is thinking speaking up/asking for help will be enough when many women haven't been given that agency.

My concerns which I think will be common: a book like this lands for only some women and some moms... I think this is acknowledged in the book, one writer can't be all voices so I respect not trying to do that to be honest, but a full conversation needs and must have diverse voices, I hope publishers will be seeking out complementary voices from diverse mothering lives. Please seek out and invite these voices and reviewers as well. The impact of the past 2-3 years (and beyond) has to be examined from intersectional lenses.

I also understood the point of the social media chapter but at the same time, perhaps an opportunity lost to think about how those very women can also be influencers for change if we invite them in to the bigger theme of motherhood. If they are possibly symbolic of motherhood and its problematic portrayal .... invite that conversation but don't shut down the talk before it can begin. I would not be surprised that many of those women are screaming inside too, aren't we all? I did not disagree with the points being made but I am also not someone who lives in the social media spaces discussed, I can't really say what it is really like.

I value the chance to review this timely work, it spoke to me as a woman who became a first time mother during the pandemic and who at the same time was and is navigating an increasingly untenable space in higher education, a space that did not allow for me to have caregiving needs valued and forced impossible choices at times. Screaming inside daily, a bit more outside too with other women who feel the same way.

Thank you Mariner for allowing me the chance to read this via review ebook on NetGalley

Screaming on the Inside by Jessica Grose is an interesting read on American motherhood. It's such a big topic with so many angles. Grose takes her time and shares her thoughts. Plenty to agree and disagree on.

*I received this dARC from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

I related so much to Jessica Grose's Screaming on the Inside. This book about American motherhood, specifically regarding my experience as a white, middle class/upper middle class working mom made me feel understood especially as we are starting to emerge from the covid-19 pandemic. I say "starting to emerge" as that is, of course, debatable and highly related to your position on a variety of issues. That debate aside, this book was smart, well organized, highly researched, and great in a lot of ways. The historical background for how we got here - for why motherhood is tough nowadays - was the best part of the book for me. The pressures moms face (and let's be real - have faced forever) are too real, and I appreciated how the author tied these to changing cultural norms, tradition, and habits.

There were two parts of this book that I didn't like, though, that knocked my rating of this book down from a 4-4.5 star book to a solid 3 star book. The first was that there was a judgmental tone throughout quite a bit of this book. I felt the author did acknowledge her class and her privilege often, but this seemed mainly in the realms of finances. That is important, of course, but I felt like there was an underlying tone of judgment about the moms who want to stay home, the bloggers who choose to be influencers, etc. I hated seeing specific names of influencers and bloggers in this book. It did not seem necessary - why bring down a mom who has chosen (for whatever reason) to live a lifestyle different from yours?

The second part that I found to be negative was just a lack of diversity in the examples of moms who struggle with expectations and the unsustainability of American motherhood (as it is purported to be). Much of this book just seemed very set on the white, middle class/upper middle class working mom experience. I felt the book could have been richer if the scope was expanded just a bit.

Finally, I don't fault the author for this... but while I felt like this book made me feel seen - it did not offer me hope or encouragement for how I could enact change. Seems like a missed opportunity. There were some examples in a closing chapter, but it did not feel transferrable to average Jane mom of three living in Minneapolis. It's tough, I get it... so as long as you expect this to feel like a venting session (an educational venting session) with a friend/therapist, great, but if you are looking for actual change I found that to be absent here. I am glad I read this book though! There is more work to do for mamas. :)

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advanced ebook copy. All opinions are my own.

This book is great and I really enjoyed the blend of historical research and interviews with modern families. An approachable but still academic take on the subject that I think would appeal to a wide variety of audiences.

Explaining the roots of modern motherhood, Jessica Grose explains why our expectations of American motherhood today are unsustainable and harmful. Weaving her personal narrative of how pregnancy and motherhood affected her life and career, Grose points out the flaws in how the American culture perceives motherhood and what to do about it.

Lately, I have had a fascination with books about motherhood and gender equality, so Screaming on the Inside seemed right up my alley. Yet the book was only okay. Grose presents plenty of intriguing facts, but the book lacked the passion to really fire me up. In the end, I agreed with her premise, yet wasn't left with any suggestions of what to do about any of it.

Jessica Grose’s NYT Parenting newsletter is one of the few things I regularly read in my inbox. Her style there carries over in this book that’s part history, part new reporting and research, and part personal reflection. I really enjoyed this even if at times it made me want to pull my hair out in frustration over the pace or lack of change over decades of American motherhood. I appreciated that the book never veered into utter despair but rather highlighted pockets of hope and optimism.

Thanks to NetGalley and Mariner for the early copy. All opinions are my own.

This is a hard review to write because I initially really enjoyed this book. The author is likeable and it is written in a journalistic style. I found it engaging and relatable. As the book went on, the author started to feel a bit more judgemental about anyone who didn't match up with her reality, which was irritating, but not a complete deal breaker since we are all a little biased. Then, I hit the social media chapter. Yes, social media can be terrible for mental health if a person is comparing their worst days to another person's highlight reels, but she took this to a whole new level and was flat out shaming moms who live differently than her. I'm not sure what she has against blondes but she kept bringing up these "perfect blondes" who she claims try to project these perfect lives or claiming perfect homes and white ascetetic is somehow disingenuous. Why can't someone enjoy keeping their home clean? Or like white and be minimalist? Or enjoy being home with their kids all day? It is certainly okay to not enjoy those things, but why on earth should a mother not be able to and ridiculed if she does? It doesn't mean that her life is perfect or she is trying to project perfect, but women are allowed to be different from each other and certainly shouldn't be accused of being fake for having a clean home or a positive attitude or whatever. This kind of mom shaming is super disappointing. Rather than trying to uplift women and provide support and just suggest that mothers should be cautious about social media time if it is negatively affecting their mental health, only follow things that positively affect your mood, and to remember social media isn't real life and we are seeing people's positives, she gives this perception that those with positive smiling blondes are terrible and the problem with social media and throwing a specific personality that she apparently doesn't like throughthe mud. Perhaps they are bad for her mental health, but they aren't inherently bad and following those accounts provide a very positive experience for some people. How wonderful it is that the sky is truly the limit on the variety of people one can follow. It would be great if the author realized there are all sorts of people in the world though and no one is forcing her to follow a cheery mom who posts recipes or pictures of a clean home or happy children. We are all free to follow who we want and avoid or unfollow ones that don't resonate. No shaming necessary. Taking up a whole chapter of mom shaming just felt so tacky and all sorts of icky to me. Let people parent and post how and what they want in peace!! Sheesh!