Thank you to NetGalley for the copy of "A Hole In the World" in exchange for a honest review.

Rachel Held Evans has made an indelible impact on me as a writer, a leader, and a person of faith. Her death impacted me greatly. I feel like what Amanda gave us in this book is an intimate look at love and loss. She talks about the grief of losing her sister in a way that connects all of our stories with her own, making the loneliness of loss in our own lives, feel a little less tragic. It is honest, care-full, heartfelt, and worthy of being in the hands of so many people. Thankful for what it must have cost Amanda to put so much of her life in these pages.

A Hole in the World is Amanda Held Opelt's brilliant, heartrending debut. After some poignant losses, Opelt felt herself drawn to seeking out practices and accounts of others who also knew such tragedy. And, unfortunately, after several years of losses and disruptions due to the COVID-19 pandemic, there is a great need for a work like this.

I saw myself in Opelt's words and recognized my journey in hers, even if the heartaches were different. Whether it was making sense of a family member's mental illness, processing my brother's suicide, or enduring the death of our first daughter, born extremely premature, I also sought out others who might put into words what I was experiencing, who would make me feel seen and less alone, who might provide a glimpse of hope, that I would get through the deep grief and emerge to find joy in the world again.

Opelt has delved into grief rituals across time, becoming an expert in something she rather would not have needed but felt drawn to after being shaken by the sudden, unexpected death of her sister. Alongside that public loss were more private losses of miscarriage and her grandmother's death.

Opelt discusses current and lapsed rituals and shares their significance, be they Casseroles, Covering Mirrors, Tolling the Bell, Telling the Bees, and so on. Each chapter is replete with footnotes and considers the value of the practice.

The chapter on Sitting Shivah (Presence) was particularly moving to me, recalling to mind our experience with grief and ways people were present for us, even if not birthed from traditional Jewish origins, but throughout I found myself marking up words and passages that resonated. Opelt, a songwriter, writes poetically and captures reality in ways that echo to the readers with truth, coming from someone who has also walked this path of heartache.

A Hole in the World is mournful and reflective, a beautiful, all too timely companion for this time in the world.

(I received a digital ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.)

A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing by Amanda Held Opelt is such an important book. This book is raw with the author’s very real grief. Yet this book has great hope in its examination of grief rituals and what they can teach us. Evangelicals have few rituals at times and this can be a deficit. Here, other cultures can teach us quite a lot about grief and how to process it. I particularly loved how the author uses Scripture to show how the Bible supports some of these rituals of grieving. Such a good book overall. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

I felt so seen in this book. Amanda so eloquently interweaves topics and history of grief and mourning and her own personal walk together beautifully. There were times when I was enlightened by history and the rituals of honoring the dead and the times when I yelled back in agreement with her about a feeling she had. I recommend this book to anyone, especially those who've endured a tough grieving period.

Thanks to NetGalley for this reviewer's copy. Amanda's story is beautiful, despite all the pain. I deeply appreciate anyone willing to be vulnerable and confrontational about what hurts and what heals through such a deep loss. Her story is encouraging - I hope you'll make time and space in your heart for this work. It will be meaningful and hopefully, create more space for your own healing process, too.

I thought this book was so interesting and necessary for a time in the world when we've experienced so much grief and have very few tools in which to process that grief. Amanda's story and personal experience made the writing feel genuine and relevant. I think this would make a great book club book!

I was moved. I was encouraged. I was inspired. Amanda offers a gift not only in sharing her story, but in her exploration of different bereavement practices. It's personal, but not all about Amanda. I can't think of another book quite like it, and this beautiful offering is sure to be a balm to many who are grieving (or love someone who is grieving).

Amanda Held Opelt's A HOLE IN THE WORLD shares an intelligent, articulate, and heartfelt exploration of grief. Her sister's death hurtled Opelt into a profound and personal experience of sorrow that she shares so generously and thoughtfully that I felt like I was talking with a close friend. Every dimension of grief is described in its physical, spiritual, and transformative reality. A beautiful, necessary read. I received an early copy of this book and these opinions are my own, unbiased thoughts.

When a loved one dies, they leave a hole in your world. The sister of Rachel Held Evans reflects on the sorrow, the confusion, the unanswered questions that come with an untimely death.

Opelt notes that, while we are taught many life skills, grieving is not one of them. She found that grieving rituals helped her in the grieving journey. While she writes some about her thoughts on God, the primary focus of the book is the impact rituals have on experiencing grief. She weaves interesting historical information on the customs into the significance each ritual plays in the grieving journey.

While each of the twelve rituals she covers has value, I found a few of them gave me much to think about. In writing about sitting shivah, Opelt recognizes the need to feel the pain and not avoid it. It helped her think through her idea of God, realizing He doesn't always behave the way we think He should. She found she could “...experience the presence of God even in the absence of peace.” (829/2812) The section on casseroles reminded me of the need for physical sustenance and restoration. Her comments on post mortem photography was a stark reminder of the importance of not being forgotten. Her insights on sympathy cards and the changed language they contain was telling, as was how we have outsourced dying and death to hospitals and funeral homes.

Opelt admits she has not figured out grief. She is still fumbling her way through it. But she does know God has been there. While no two people experience grief the same way, this book will help readers understand the process of letting grief have its way. I recommend the book for those grieving and for those who want to gain insights into the process.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent and honest review.

In A Hole in the World, Amanda Held Opelt opened up about how she had to learn to survive in our trying season of her life. In the book, she shared how she experienced three miscarriages. She lost her sister, Rachel Held Evans (blogger and New York Times best-selling author) unexpectedly passed away due to the flu at age 37. She had a few brain seizures. She shared how her last post was right before lent and she promised to post some more post and never got the chance to. She left behind her husband, her 11-month year old daughter, and three-year-old son. She also had a miscarriage shortly after her sister’s death. In the book, she explored the twelve rituals of bereavement. Mostly she looked at the Western culture and Abrahamic.




One of my favorites that she looked at was the one on casseroles and how this relates to the body and grief. We may feel fatigue, experience headaches, joint pain, changes in our sleeping cycles, eating habits, and much more. Grief can cause us to have higher levels of cortisol and experience stress. We could be more prone to cardiac risks and reduced immune systems. We also have a 40% chance of death when we lose a spouse. She opened up about her pregnancy and how she had a miscarriage and everything she felt. She explained how when someone dies there is a typically a big meal provided by family and friends. The Jewish include rolls to portray the staff of life, hard boiled eggs to symbolize nature of life. In Switzerland, men carry lemons to place on graves to symbolize sharpness and bitterness of death. She looked at many more examples in other countries. Eating at a funeral helps to remind us that we’re still alive. She shared how when Jesus raised Jairus daughter from the death the first thing he told them was to feed her.



I would recommend this amazing book on handling grief to anyone who is currently experiencing grief or will in the future. I liked how the book explored 12 different rituals of bereavement and they can all assist us in getting through our pain and hurt. I was touched by reading about her life story throughout the book and how she had to experience grief in different times in her life and how she was able to heal, manage, and still live her life. I loved how she came up with the idea of looking at different counties and cultures and how they process grief. It was very interesting and I learned a lot of knowledge I didn’t realize what other countries did.

This book was beautifully written, deeply honest and footnoted as richly as any academic paper I've read or written (even when studying for my masters in world history). It covers an amazing array of spiritual traditions and their stories/traditions of grief. It must be an amazing resource for those deep in the throes of grief. I lost my father six months ago today (literally as I write this, the exact day). I had hoped to find some guidance for what remains of my grief and sense of loss. That said, this book, while lovely, was too Christian-oriented to help me. (Though I am also fairly certain it was listed as a Christian book and therefore I am probably not the target audience.)

I encourage anyone who is grieving to pick it up, though I only made it through one-third of this magnificently designed (meaning visually) and researched book. But while the author does reference other spiritual history-- Judaism and ancient myth, for example, the book may not appeal to readers of non-Abrahamic religions/concepts of God.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to review this electronic copy of the book.

It was in the early pages of Amanda Held Opelt's "A Hold in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing" that I began to reflect upon my own experiences with grief.

This is not surprising, of course. "A Hole in the World" invites this introspection with a tenderness and wisdom that is rare. It's that invitation that helps to hold space for the hope contained within these pages as Held Opelt invites us both into our own spaces of grief and into an intelligent, insightful exploration of rituals, many of which have been largely left behind in contemporary culture, that offer valuable ways for all of us to lean into our grief in ways that are meaningful, honest, and genuinely helpful.

Had I not first read some promotional material for "A Hole in the World," I'd likely have been unaware that Held Opelt is the sister of New York Times bestselling author and beloved Christian voice Rachel Held Evans. As one of the wandering evangelicals drawn to Held Evans, and fortunate enough to meet her on a single occasion, I joined many in grieving the loss of one of the few Christian voices who seemed to "get" me.

For Amanda Held Opelt, Rachel's death came amidst a season of loss unlike anything she had ever experienced. It included not just her sister's death, but her own experiences with three miscarriages. These losses, we learn from "A Hole in the World," would leave Held Opelt at times feeling as if she were left struggling to stay afloat without a life jacket. Having never dealt with this intensity of grief, she suddenly found herself struggling to process her grief and with questions that her church seemed ill-equipped to answer.

"A Hole in the World" explores these questions like "What do I do now?," "Why didn't my faith prepare me for this kind of pain?," and "What does it mean to truly grieve?"

Amanda Held Opelt had these questions and she began searching for the answers.

If there is one thing I found refreshing about "A Hole in the World," it's that Held Opelt doesn't pretend to approach this writing from a place of expertise. Held Opelt approaches "A Hole in the World" through the unique lenses of both vulnerability and reason. She shares with us her grief, but she also shares with us her well-reasoned and deeply informed search for answers and discovery of rituals that served as vessels for pain and offered a place for the grief that leaves a hole in the world.

I struggled early on with "A Hole in the World," the book's unique rhythm relying less on histrionic emotional appeals and more on authentic showing up and using both emotion and intellect to journey through bereavement and loss and even the practicalities that impact us when we experience loss.

As someone who was born into a body that was initially given three days to live due to spina bifida (50+ years ago), I have undeniably experienced loss and grief throughout my entire life journey.

It was less than three years ago that I experienced the loss of a limb for the third time and it had been in the past two years that I have experienced the loss of my mother, my only brother, and a best friend who also was a key physical support as my journey with paraplegic/amputation continues. As someone who grew up with significant disabilities, I became accustomed to grief in my life as I watched others with spina bifida pass away at much younger ages and I experienced multiple significant losses in my young adult years that left me feeling ill-equipped for life.

And yet, it feels like so often we are expected to have a drive-thru experience with grief. We take our generous corporate offering of three days bereavement leave, if we're lucky enough to have it, and are expected to return to our daily lives with nary an insight into the fact that our life has been, in many cases, permanently changed.

Where do we put that grief? Where do we put those changes?

Where do we go?

Like Held Opelt, I went out searching and am fortunate that over the years I learned how to be healthier, more present, to develop friendships, and I learned something resembling a sort of awkward self-care.

I learned how to cope. I learned how to grieve.

I learned how to be present for others and how to invite others into being present for me.

These are many of the things that Held Opelt discovers that come to life in the pages of "A Hole in the World," as she explores a wide variety of rituals such as the Victorian tradition of post-mortem photographs, the Irish tradition of Keening, the Jewish tradition of sitting Shiva (one of my favorites among grief rituals), the tradition of mourning clothing, and others. With each ritual, Held Opelt delves into the ritual's history and culture while also slowly, step-by-step tiptoeing toward processing her own pain and finding a framework that makes sense for her.

That's the power of "A Hole in the World." It's one woman sharing her own journey with intelligence, insight, and much wisdom as she builds a framework for her own grief and chooses to invite others into the journey.

"A Hole in the World" isn't a miracle publication. You won't finish it and think to yourself "Okay, I'm done now." Instead, it's a nurturing companion that serves as a literary reminder that there is hope and that our grief does matter.

As I was reading "A Hole in the World," at one point I said to myself "If we're all made in the image of God, how could our loss not matter?"

And then I may have cried a bit. I'm just saying.

I appreciated Held Opelt's extensive research and her emotional honesty. I appreciated her spiritual reflection and I also appreciated that "A Hole in the World" carries with it a fairly diverse collection of Christian voices within its pages from Lisa Sharon Harper to John Piper and others.

There's simply so much to love here and, perhaps, that's the entire point. As we give ourselves to healthier ways to grieve, this grieving turns into connection which turns into an ability to love, believe, and heal.

Destined to be one of my favorite books for years to come, "A Hole in the World" is a beacon of hope for those who wander in the darkness of loss and grief. While "A Hole in the World" can't and doesn't pretend to try to take away the pain, it's an emotionally and intellectually informed work of hope that reminds us we need not grieve alone.