Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC digital copy. I was not compensated for this review and all opinions are my own.

I have curated a fairly good collection of self-help mental wellness books over the past two years. The summary of I'll See You Tomorrow sounded like it may be a necessary addition to my personal library.

While the stories included some I could relate to, I just didn't feel that there was enough of the type of support I need at this point in my life. I think I would have benefited if there had been more suggestions to accompany the stories.

3.5 stars out of respect for the author and the fact that I'll See You Tomorrow is likely is just not the right book for me at this time. I will keep in on my "to be read" list and will update this review in the event that my opinion changes.

There is a staggering number of books these days about setting boundaries, cutting off toxic people, and ending relationships of every kind. However, if someone wants guidance about persevering through typical friendship challenges and coming out securely on the other side, there are very few resources available for them. Thus, ever since high school, I have gotten most of my friendship advice from marriage books.

I felt excited and hopeful for this book, but even though it has a lot of great elements, I found it disappointing. Too much of the book revolves around the authors' personal experiences, and they don't share much practical advice for implementing the generalized, positive ideas they encourage people towards. However, I want to focus on the positives first.

Heather Thompson Day and her husband, Seth, wrote this book to help people who are tempted to give up on existing relationships or don't have many friendships to begin with. They share vulnerable stories about their own experiences, offer encouragement, and draw on Christian teachings and social science data to support why relationships matter so much and why we should keep pursuing them.

Fairly early on in the book, Heather and Seth write about boundary-setting and appropriate reasons to end or distance yourself from a relationship. They both talk about their own backgrounds with abusive people, and about ways that people can protect themselves. They clarify that their call to commitment is for safe relationships, and that there are appropriate times to walk away. The authors repeatedly differentiate between harmful patterns and unpleasant incidents, showing that you can set boundaries against unsafe people without dumping a good friend over a hurtful comment or perceived social infraction.

The authors unpack how past trauma and emotionally unhealthy coping patterns can influence our responses to issues in friendships, and they share general advice for how people can overcome negative patterns to pursue healthy, well-grounded relationships. They also address specific contemporary issues related to how the pandemic disrupted relationships and created additional stresses that are wreaking havoc on many people's lives. I particularly appreciated the chapter about how important "weak ties" are, since people rarely acknowledged before the pandemic how powerfully our acquaintances influence and benefit us.

However, even though this book has a lot of great elements, I don't think that it fulfilled the promise of the title and premise. Too much of this book is about Heather and Seth, and even though their fans and social media followers may love this deeper glimpse into their personal lives, I am only vaguely familiar with their ministries and was reading this for practical advice, not for their personal disclosures. It disappointed me how often they would tell a long-winded personal story and then highlight a couple life lessons without sharing practical advice for how someone in a different situation.

This book is full of wise ideas and positive encouragements, but they rarely show the reader how to put these things into practice in the real world. For example, if you are struggling to stay friends with someone across the political aisle, Heather and Seth will encourage you to resist polarization and stay friends with them, but they don't show you how to make this a long-term reality. They don't share any practical advice for dealing with politically charged conflicts, and don't even talk you through how to deal with your feelings about them.

If someone hasn't thought much about friendship before or places a low priority on their relationships, then this book could offer some helpful paradigm shifts and encouragement for them to change. However, if someone is looking for practical advice to go beyond their good beliefs and head knowledge, this book will rarely deliver. It affirms a lot of great values, but it doesn't share the kind of targeted, practical advice that most people pursuing a book like this need.

I wish that I had something better to recommend, but I don't really. I know of some great books about friendship, such as Kelly Needham's "Friendish," but her main theme is about avoiding codependency and idolatry, rather than overcoming burnout, conflict, and resentment. I am still waiting for the right book about persevering through conflict and polarization in friendships, and even though this book was good, I'm disappointed that it didn't live up to the promise of its title. I wanted a book about "building relational resilience when you want to quit," but this is too general and doesn't offer enough concrete, practical insight.

I'll See You Tomorrrow was an excellent unexpected read. The authors invite you into their lives and experiences and through those encourage healing and building relationships. They encourage you to show back up tomorrow.

✨𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗥✨

In a culture where people easily and hastily cancel relationships rather than cultivate them, discover what the Bible has to say about how we need to keep showing up for one another—even when we feel like walking away.

We are surrounded by choices. If we want to watch a movie, we have multiple platforms we can choose from. If we grow tired of a friend or conversation, we leave them on read. It’s never been easier to tune out and make a switch when something doesn’t go perfectly or when we are offended. It’s easy to cancel something from our lives when it comes to technology, television shows, or choices of food and drinks. But what about canceling friends or family members when we are disappointed or offended by them?

In I’ll See You Tomorrow, communication professor Dr. Heather Thompson Day and Seth Day tackle difficulties that people face in relationships and help them navigate through relational disappointment, conflict, and fear. The dangers of a relational cancel culture are a timely one.

This book will help you:
▪️learn to extend grace to yourself and your loved ones in order to forgive and keep showing up,
▪️discover how childhood trauma continues to affect your relationships,
▪️stop waiting for an ideal and refuse to let it prevent you from what’s possible,
▪️recognize the value of a healthy (and small) circle rather than a large one, and refuse to let fear of what may or may not happen cause you to miss the beauty of what is.

Blending personal stories with data and research in a way that inspires truth and helps people change their everyday mindsets, Heather and Seth encourage you to embrace this valuable truth: relationships don’t have to be perfect to be fulfilling.

Thank you TLC Book Tours and W Publishing Group for this tour invite.

𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 by Heather Thompson Day and @Seth Day released October 4, 2022.

https://www.instagram.com/booksandcoffeemx/