Thank you for allowing me to read this book. I enjoyed it very much. At times it was heartbreaking to read the desperation and fear in these letters. It also put in perspective that my ancestors could have written similar letters while being separated from their loved ones.

I am not much of a historic fan, but gravitated to this book.

I appreciate this book was put together to give insight of African Americans and a collection of letters of their loving relationships.

It was also an emotional read where I had to pace myself through

A stirring, well-organized account of life for a select few African Americans who were able to write and express themselves over distances and time. A profound experience that is moving to read especially within the historical and social context. I will be recommending my local library add this to its shelves as we have much to learn as a nation about our shared humanity. A fantastic example of primary resources that could be used to start discussion and dive into more research.

I have been on a nonfiction kick recently and this one stood out for many reasons. I loved the honesty and emotion. My heart was aching for these sweet couples who were trying to find happiness and love in the worst of situations.

In the acknowledgments the author expresses her intention to use “letters to provide a more real and personal understanding of the past” in order to share the history of African American experiences with non-academic audiences. She achieves that goal. Images, maps, newspapers, pamphlets, portraits, handbills, and marriage licenses support detailed historical facts animated by the intimate written correspondence of Black people. This passage from page 31 summarizes the range, depth, and nuances:


…In the following correspondence, status, class, and regional distinctions are evident, as are urban and rural differences… reveal the incredible complexity of African American lives in this period…these letters illustrate this diversity of black life.


Letters between parents and children, spouses, extended family, courting couples, lovers, close friends, allies, supplicants, and even slaveholders and the formerly enslaved resonate with universal themes of human connection, weariness, resolve, and celebration of victories minute to massive in addition to mundane activities. The paths of famous abolitionists Frederick Douglass, Bishop Loguen, and others are entwined with those of everyday families, enslaved Emily and Adam Plummer in Maryland, the free Rapiers in Alabama, and the free mulatto Ellisons, slave owners in South Carolina. Their true stories weave throughout the three main sections of the text: Antebellum, Civil War, and In the Aftermath of War.


I Can’t Wait to Call You My Wife is a compelling read for everyone interested in understanding the source of the current political turmoil in the United States. Factually dense and emotionally faceted, this text alternates historical details, images, actual letters, context, and discussion calibrated to make the information easy to digest and engaging for the average reader and dedicated historian.

I can’t give feedback for wasn’t able to download. Not sure what happened. Sorry the title fell through the cracks

Thank you Netgalley and Chronicle books for access to this arc.

I'm a fan of epistolary books and this rates as a good one. Roberts has not only carefully chosen the selection of letters and arranged them in three sections (pre Civil War, during the War, and post War) but also included a degree of background information to help make events and issues clearer. There are also a number of photographs - some of the actual letter writers.


Where possible, we learn more about the background of the writers and what happened to them. Other letters are a tantalizing glimpse into discrete moments in their lives leaving us to wonder what happened next.

Before, during and after the war, much emphasis was placed on family: forming a family, maintaining it, or finding lost family members who had been sold off. After the war, free Blacks and former enslaved Blacks were also concerned with establishing Black social groups and churches as well as securing what they viewed as proof of freedom - owning a house, land, and being paid a fair wage for their labor.

The letters can be read before or without reading the historical background context sections. Be prepared for the fact that spelling and punctuation (by everyone) were rather loose and easy and much of this has been retained. The term "slave" is used not only in the letters but a few times by Roberts. The N word is also in one or two letters.

I found the letters emotional, moving, informative, and exhilarating as when a freedman (using delicious sarcasm) writes back to his former master who is trying to entice him and his family to return after the war with promises of better treatment. For fans of historical letters and those who want to better understand the humanity and determination of Blacks in the face of slavery and its long lasting legacy, I recommend reading this book.

I Can’t Wait to Call You My Wife by Rita Robert’s serves as a poignant reminder of why Black Love and the Black Family unit, in particular, is so revolutionary. Family kept our ancestors grounded in their sense of self when slavery tried to diminish them and their humanity.

Reading these letters between lovers, partners, parents and children made the impact that slavery and its legacy has had on the Black family abundantly clear. There is so much they tried to take away and yet, somehow, so much that could not be taken. The spirit of our people transcends the most brutal acts committed towards humanity and this could only be possible through love and connection. What a beautiful book and what a way to honor our ancestors and their stories. Thank you to the author and publisher for the e-arc copy!

I Can't-Wait to Call You My Wife
by Rita Roberts
Pub Date: October 18, 2022
Chronicle Books
Thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the ARC of this book. This book honors the voices of African Americans of the Civil War era through their letters, inviting readers to engage personally with the Black historical experience.
Reasons I liked this book: 1. Roberts reframes the Civil War era by telling the story of American slavery through letters. 2. Roberts provides expert context while weaving compelling stories about individual letter writers. Readers can connect with history directly by reading actual words from the time and seeing photographs of both the letters and the writers. 3. Roberts' book challenges a notion of a monolithic Black experience during the Civil War.
Perfect for:
Readers of Black history, Civil War history, and American history
History students
Letter writers
Fans of historical letters
5 stars

A thoughtfully organized history of the civil war. It is centered around letters written by and for enslaved persons. This book has a very important role to play in analyzing the events of the civil war from the perspective of those who were most impacted by it. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone looking to further educate themselves on the civil war.

I loved this book so much. There’s something so special about learning history from primary sources: the people who were actually there! “I Can’t Wait To Call You My Wife” does a great job of displaying Black love in an incredibly expansive way. Most of the letters aren’t about love in the romantic sense (though some are) The letters show love as community, kinship, friendship and most of all, FREEDOM. The author takes great care to give background information and context for each of the letters as well as the time periods themselves. A bonus for me was all of the lovely pictures especially the images of the writers. This book feels really special and intimate. I received an Electronic ARC of this to review but I will definitely be purchasing a physical copy upon it’s release!