There’s something special about a book that lays out truth and experience with this much clarity - Single Just Because is a real joy to read.

Single, Just Because
A Pilgrimage into Holy Aloneness
by Bridget Gee
Pub Date 18 Oct 2022
InterVarsity Press, IVP
Christian | Nonfiction (Adult) | Religion & Spirituality



I am reviewing a copy of Single, Just Because through Intervarsity press and Netgalley:



Why are you single? , when you answer Just because However what's more important than why we are single is how we live as singles. Regardless of our relationship status, all of us are called to a life of vital discipleship.


And walking with God can reshape singleness into a pilgrimage of transformation. Pilgrim and podcaster Bridget Gee shares her singular journey of vibrant life in the kingdom of God.


Her travels have become a personal pilgrimage of walking with God and others, experiencing spiritual formation in the ups and downs of literal mountains and valleys. She explores her longings and hopes in vulnerable narratives, navigating issues of identity, community, mental health, dating, sexuality, and more. Gee invites us into a purposeful story of following Jesus in life not as we think it might be, but as it really is. The pilgrim journey takes us places we did not expect to become people we did not know we could be.

I give Single Just Because five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

This is part memoir, part inspirational, Christian teaching. I didn't love the combination.

Gee shares her own story of being single, which was fine, but when she tried speaking for all singles, or all Christians, in general, it rubbed me the wrong way. Because, no, we don't all have the same personality as the author, so we don't all think like her. She would randomly remind the reader that "this is just my story, and yours might look different," but then in the next paragraph was using the collective again: "We do this or that, don't we?"

I also can't say I agree with her perspective… For example, she talks about romance as if it has nothing to do with a romantic relationship - which it really does, by definition.

In chapter 8, "Embracing My Authentic Self," the author comes across like a selfish, self-centered brat, demanding that others accept her as she is, but not extending that same gift to others. She states at one point, "I don't think I am even close to being capable of that kind of destruction." This was a huge red flag to me. The reality is that each of us is capable of the worst sins imaginable. We need to constantly remain in Jesus, where we have access to His power to avoid sin. But we're all capable.

Then there's some random racism thrown in, in chapter 9, "Holy Alonenes." Gee says, "In White American culture, we treat time as such a commodity. Time should produce something. It should make goods or money or value." She goes on talking about "White America," like it's got a monopoly on sin. Whites aren't the only race in America that value productivity over other things. Why wouldn't "America" have sufficed here?

All in all, there are better books to read on singleness.

Most Christian books on being single end up talking about how to be married. Or you find out at the end of it that the author, while writing about being single, is actually married...or about to be. Which, I mean, isn't their fault, but it kind of leaves you feeling a little let down because...reasons.

Bridget Gee is still blessedly single at the end of this book. And in her thirties. Which makes this book very relatable, like we're all in this together! It's the story of Gee's life, the ups and downs of being single, and how the church fails the singles in their community. Which is great to read, but at the same time...not very useful. Maybe because it seems to meander a little halfway through. Yes, each chapter ends with a Pilgrimage Moment, a call to action to pause, reflect, pray. But getting to the end also leaves you with a big fat "So?"

Maybe I'm just expecting too much. But I'm also reading this after a camp for Christians in their 30s to 40s, where the session on "relationships" was still very much about how to find a spouse, rather than...what should you do/expect if you find yourself still single at this stage of life? (Bearing in mind that probably 90% of the campers were singles.) Should you start building your life on the expectation of remaining single? Or do you keep waiting and hoping to get married? It does emphasise Gee's point that the church is failing to see the bigger picture - and thus failing the singles in their community - by buying into the world's "sense of entitlement to marriage [that] turns singleness into a problem, a curse, or a burden." I think I just need something more concrete than what Gee is offering in this book.

She does point out the truth that:
"...the journey of singleness leads deeper into God's presence, or what I like to call "holy aloneness" - the place where you are wholly known, wholly seen, and wholly loved by your Creator. That's the place we all belong."

affirms that:
"It's okay to want something you don't know you will ever have."

and also acknowledges that:
"At the core of our discomfort in being physically or relationally alone, we long for this affirmation. That we are whole, no matter what we're offering, no matter our limitations. We need to experience the freedom of simply existing, to not produce or strive or hustle for a bit. To be gentle with ourselves and treat ourselves with kindness."

In a world that centres romantic/sexual relationships above all else, Gee invites Christian singles to press into learning how to be alone with God. It may not offer practical life skills but is thought-provoking in how it offers suggestions on how to deal with your expectations and spiritual life.

Note: I received a digital ARC of this book from InterVarsity Press via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

At the start of this book, loved it. I felt seen and like God was speaking into me. Sadly, I began to struggle. Some of Bridget’s thinking was outside of my comfort zone. I do appreciate reading about a different perspective on my faith, but I will have to agree to disagree.

I do appreciate the vulnerability Bridget brought. She shared some of the most personal experiences a person can for the sake of helping others. I can see her goal of reaching others for God being accomplished!

Special thanks to NetGalley.com and InterVarsity Press for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.

This is the book I wish had existed when I was in my 30s. Gee shares vulnerably about her ongoing journey into "holy aloneness". She has much wisdom, starting with the awareness that her journey is not everyone's, but reminding all of us who are single that we are called to our own pilgrimages to meet God. Occasionally, I rolled my eyes; she is still only 30. Those of us who have traveled this path for more years may have insights to add to hers. Because she shares her story so well, there will be more space for more stories of other singles journeying into this holy space. A book I will be recommending.
Review based on an eARC received through NetGalley.

Yikes. 1.5 stars, rounded up to 2 solely because the Christian publishing industry *desperately* need good, solid books about singleness and if they see low ratings on books in that space, may hesitate on offering contracts for future books. This, however, is *not* solid. It has:

- a know-it-all attitude
- a poor-me attitude
- several instances of "duh" to the reader (Are you trying to make the reader feel stupid? Is it supposed to be funny? So strange. Example: Jesus, duh.)
- *very* little Scripture for a book that is described as "Bridget Gee shares her singular journey of vibrant life in the kingdom of God. Her travels have become a personal pilgrimage of walking with God and others, experiencing spiritual formation..."
- problematic misunderstandings of Scripture (There are multiple to choose from (which is pretty sad given the amount of Scripture in the book), but here's one example: on page 58, the author says "In the hardest seasons of friendship, I remember that Jesus know what it's like to be hurt by his friends too, maybe to an even worse degree." Maybe? So you're implying that you've been hurt by friends more than Jesus was, the same Jesus who was betrayed by a friend to death? Uh, okay. We've all been hurt by friends but this is quite the overstep.)

READ THROUGH NETGALLEY. ⅘ stars. Christian living. For starters, this book was just the right length. Sometimes when I read Christian living books I feel like they go on forever saying the same thing over and over again, and this book did not do that. I did really enjoy this book, there were a lot of things that Bridget said that really resonated with me. I definitely would recommend it to both single and nonsingle people. Bridget was honest about her story, and I really appreciate that and I think that everyone can learn something from it.

I wanted to get something out of this. But for some reason it seemed like the author was trying to make it like being single was a bad thing.

"Experiencing romance means practicing presence, being available to what’s in front of you...If you can revel in the divine of your friends, family members and partners, you will also have grace and love for them in the moments when it’s hard."

As someone who is single and prefers it that way (for now🙃). I was excited to get my hands on "Single, Just Because".

Bridget Gee starts by likening singleness to "pilgrimage," a theme that she loosely threads throughout the book by creating space for "pilgrimage moments" that take you out of the narrative and introduce you to little practices on prayer, or tips for hospitality that you can incorporate into your own life.

This was my favourite aspect of the book. It was meaningful and just poetic enough to draw me in.

Unfortunately, the rest if fell flat for me and I'm still not sure why. As someone who thinks marriage is beautiful but not the only way to experience a fulfilled life, Gee's story and the way she interacts with her singleness is important to me. What she does share of her life was relatable and I enjoyed the glimpses into her struggle in seeing God answer so many of her prayers but falling silent on the one that felt most urgent to her heart.

So why didn't I love the book? I haven't quite put my figure on it but somehow it seemed to lack direction; I wasn't always sure where we were going or why this was important to the story, other than it being part of her story. Perhaps it's simply that I do not identify with her intense longing for a husband as I have not experienced singleness in the same way yet. (Although I've read and loved many books where I was able to invest myself in the "main character's" plight without it being a problem that personally related to my own life.)

I do wish I had loved this book. I think that it has so much potential, especially since "Girl Meets God," has resonated with a lot of readers and it does have similar elements and themes going for it.

That said, if you are single and struggling with loneliness or feel like God doesn't hear you, this book might resonate more for you, than it did for me. It could be a thoughtful companion to walk with you on that journey.

This was a very heartfelt look at singleness within the church. Much of it was written through the lens of the author's own experiences, and it read like a memoir in parts.

There was a lot in this that was relatable, and I appreciate the author's efforts efforts to write a book on such an important topic. What I liked most about this was the author's honesty about her own experiences and desires.

While I think a lot of what was discussed was pretty broadly applicable, there were definitely some sections that felt more targeted specifically to single women.

I do wish there were more books whose target audience was non-single people. Books like these place the burden on the single folks to pushback on theology that is overly marriage focused and to carve out their own place within the church, but in reality, a lot of problems could be alleviated if churches would just be more inclusive.

Written partly like a memoir and partly like a self help book, the author tells her own story of singleness and her personal journey so far, as well as share encouragement that helped her.

This was an interesting read to be sure, partly because in many ways the book felt at times like a personal story and other times it was almost too broad and encompassing. There were moments that I definitely stopped and was like, "Yes, she gets it that is exactly how I feel," and others where I found that how she got to her conclusions so vastly different from my own beliefs that it was distracting. I think that it is good to hear different perspectives, but oddly the moments that were more relatable were the more personal, and the ones that were more broad felt more out of step for me.

In the end this was a quick read, she has many good points about our walk with God needing to be the main thing and I thought she nailed how maybe the church doesn't need to focus so much on preparing people to be married, but rather disciples. But ultimately, this book isn't one that stands out in a crowd on this topic for me.

I received a complimentary ecopy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

2.5 stars, rounded up to 3.

I particularly appreciated the author’s argument that the church spends more time preparing people for marriage than it does for being “part of the global church…we’ve spent too much time on marriage discipleship for single people.” Amen, Bridget…amen.

That being said, the author and I have some wildly different theological beliefs (notably around sex, sexual identity, and activities therein). Differing opinions and beliefs can be good, opening up dialogue and considering why we believe what we do. Absolutely necessary. But, those diverging beliefs ultimately detracted too much for me in the read. I would have liked to see some biblical basis provided, and it simply wasn’t there.

I received an eARC of the book from the publisher via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.