Heart wrenching and real!! This was a fabulously written book and I enjoyed every minute. Though the subject and emotions are hard to hear, I was truly transported.

TW: mention of SA, DV, child abuse and neglect, homicide

Written by a retired detective, who served around 30 years for the Canadian police force- with a decade as a homicide detective in Toronto. He retells the 6 homicide cases that he could never forget. He discusses and explains the process from discovery of the body, conducting the investigation, to the justice system and subsequent trial/outcome. The cases are gruesome and can be difficult to read through but the storytelling is very respectful and thorough.

I am a big fan of true crime stories, so I was excited to read this novel. Ryan gives enough background detail about the Canadian justice system and process, so the reader can understand. Throughput the stories, Ryan entwines its impact on the community, their resiliency, and hope.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝘼𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩: In this book, Steve Ryan, a former Toronto Police officer, now crime specialist for CP24, highlights six crime cases from his years of service in the force.

𝙈𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨: I am going to begin by saying that this book is an amazing read! I have not heard of any of these Canadian cases before and so am glad to learn about them.

Although the author only shared six cases, these cases are brutal, heartbreaking, and shocking! So, there is a boatload of trigger warnings here (𝑠𝑒𝑥𝑢𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡, 𝑑𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑎𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓-ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑚, 𝑒𝑡𝑐).

I appreciate the author's honesty in sharing his struggles, challenges, and how working in homicide affected his mental health in the long run. Those were difficult to read.

Overall, this was an engaging read and it will stay in my mind for a long time. It was both a heartbreaking and heartwarming read. I highly recommend this book to all true crime aficionados!


𝑃𝑢𝑏. 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒: 𝑂𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤

***𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐷𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑁𝑒𝑡𝐺𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑖𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦. 𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛.***

To preface my review, I don't normally enjoy giving star-system ratings to memoirs and autobiographies. I don't think there's really an adequate way to judge how someone else chooses to tell and present their own story.

That being said, I really enjoyed this memoir and was pleasantly surprised by it. As a fan of true crime, I went in to this book expecting the blunt descriptions of some of the most impactful cases that Detective Ryan had worked on. What I did not count on was the extreme level of heart and compassion that he exhibited throughout. It was refreshing to hear vulnerable expressions of deeply troubling emotions from a man who has spent a great deal of his life in a typically hyper-masculine profession.

If you're a true crime junkie, you'll enjoy this memoir. But you'll enjoy it even more because of the unique, softer-than-expected perspective Detective Ryan brings to the table.

The book was one that kept me interested. It was unexpected and interesting. Definitely worth the time to read.

This book was not an inside look into a a few hot topic crimes. It was a raw inside look into the emotional toll on a detective throughout his career. Many cases were brutal and scarring and felt the heaviness as it wore on Steve Ryan.

Well-written and insightful. Thank you to NetGalley and Dundurn Press for an e-ARC. All views are my own.

Phenomenally written memoir by retired Toronto homicide detective Steve Ryan. As a young boy he wanted to help people when he grew up. He remembered it later at a career day near the end of high school. It made him decide on a career in police work. He realized after working in law enforcement that they often didn’t get to help, since they many times arrived after whatever incident was over. In this book he shares about his work, how it affected him, and a handful of his cases after years on the job. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

A retired detective outlines several of the cases that he carries with him to this day. Interesting, yes; novel concept, no. Not only did he discuss police procedure, he detailed his personal feelings. All of these cases were solved, so there's no need for internet sleuths to get excited about jumping on board.

Stunningly written, this book takes a place near the top of my most-recommended true crime books alongside legendary tomes like David Simon's Homicide. My favorite true-crime book of 2022.

After reading the story I have to say that there were moments that were entertaining to me. Moments like when the detective Steve hunted the murder who claimed the life of a young girl. The book sort did a flat line for me when it came to the investigation of the three bodies. The story started reading as a bland book. I was hoping that the the book would get better as I continued to read.

What an incredibly emotional book.

This book was a great read and very well written. The weakness in true crime books sometimes is that they can be sensationalized, caught up in the details and the gore to the point that the victims feel less than the focus. This book did a wonderful job of putting the focus on the victims and the damage done to not only them but the families.

You never for one moment feel that Steve Ryan is callous. He cares about the victims, about the families of his city. His dedication and passion come through on every page. Toronto was lucky to have him as an officer. I What an incredibly emotional book.

This book was a great read and very well written. The weakness in true crime books sometimes is that they can be sensationalized, caught up in the details and the gore to the point that the victims feel less than the focus. This book did a wonderful job of putting the focus on the victims and the damage done to not only them but the families.

You never for one moment feel that Steve Ryan is callous or uncaring. He cares about the victims, about the families of his city. His dedication and passion come through on every page. Toronto was lucky to have him as an officer. I apprecaited the fact that he admitted in certain cases they don't know why certain criminals did things. Some of these crimes lack reason. We can never understand why.

The crimes described in this book, especially the ones against children are brutal. They will stick with me. This was no shallow, glamourous look at crime, but a real view of the affect it had on the people involved, including the homicide detectives. I would be glad to read anything else Steve Ryan ever writes.

Thank you to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.the fact that he admitted in certain cases they don't know why certain criminals did things. Some of these crimes lack reason. We can never underdstnad why.

The crimes described in this book, especially the ones against children are brutal. They will stick with me. This was no shallow, glamourous look at crime, but a real view of the affect it had on the people invovled, including the homodicide detectives. I would be glad to read anything else Steve Ryan ever writes.

Thank you to Dundurn Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Non fiction is hard, and Steve Ryan did a really good job of making this compelling and readable. Really intriguing behind the scenes that most people won't get the privilege to see because people are too scared to share.

Thank you to NetGalley and Dundurn Press for an e-ARC of THE GHOSTS THAT HAUNT ME by Steve Ryan in exchange for my review. This memoir will be released on Oct. 11th!

CW: sexual assault, murder, domestic abuse, self-harm

FORMAT: 📱

THE GOOD: With the rise in distrust of police and others in positions of power over the past few years, this memoir is very timely. In his own words, retired Toronto detective Steve Ryan shows us the toll a career in law enforcement can take on a person physically, mentally, and emotionally. Steve doesn't tell the stories of homicide victims through the lens of someone with a hero complex, but through the eyes of a human being who was deeply affected by all he witnessed throughout his career. He recounts his experiences not with arrogance and strength, but with honesty and vulnerability. At times I couldn't believe I was reading about real cases because the crimes were so heinous that I couldn't fathom it. The stories included in these pages are so harrowing, but they are told in such a respectful way that you feel compelled to keep reading. 

THE BAD: Honestly, the only thing I wish was different about this book was that it was longer!

Favourite quote: "How could it be that someone who is so loved and valued could be taken away from those who love them most? Or that someone so young could have their life ended before it ever really began? Not even the worst of people deserve for their lives to be taken from them in such a cruel and calloused way. To not have a modicum of kindness shown to them even in the last moments of their lives, as if their lives were worthless. Nobody deserves such treatment. How someone can hurt another human being so inhumanely will never make sense to me."

THE VERDICT: Highly enjoyed. Highly recommend for fans of true crime to pick this up when it releases on Oct. 11th!

I have been on a nonfiction kick recently and this one stood out for many reasons. I loved the honesty and emotion. I felt like I was in the moment with the author and I felt like the articulation of the circumstances were easy to understand which I appreciated with such a complex issue.

Omg what an amazing read. I loved every second. I don’t usually read many true crime, but I saw the great reviews for this book so I had to read it. The stories that were shared truly moved me. They were hard to read at times and I took plenty break in between with how heavy the subject matter was. He wrote with such so much sympathy for the victims. He felt for their families and loved ones. This book will forever have a special place in my heart. Thank you netgalley for allowing me to read this in advance.

As someone who enjoys reading, listening and watching true crime- I really appreciated this book. It offers a different perspective than what I'm used to. The podcasts and civilian detective-focused stories emit a kind of glamour to the whole genre, but this book was written by a homicide detective and it makes you admire the job they do and the horror that the job can entail. The format of the book was a little off for me, as it didn't read so smoothly, but I liked the book a lot.

I really loved this. I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped and thought about how much being a homicide detective would kill you mentally, but of course it would. You could tell through these pages just how haunting these cases are for him. I remember a few of these and while it got the intended effect of being haunting, it was also interesting to get that insight from someone on the inside.

Absolutely amazing read! Such a captivating read! Amazing cover art that was super eye catching would definitely recommend to all!

This was a good read. It's raw, sad but reality. I loved how it was written and I think that many people could relate to Steve. This was a quick read. I've already recommended!

This is the true story of a homicide detective and the cases that still haunt him years after he worked them. If you are looking to read a GREAT book by a homicide detective, then this is your book!