Ryan delves into some of the cases he can’t forget, bringing the victims to life, truly making sure they aren’t forgotten.

Welp. This is the saturation point. I’ve hit my limit for the moment in true crime.

RTC

***

HUGE thank you to NetGalley for generously providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Those of you who follow my reviews will know that I have been an avid true crime fan since I was 14, nearly 20 years now. (Hoo-boy, that's not a great feeling typed out.) At first you get into it because there's something lurid and fascinating about the ways evil people kill their victims--and if you try to deny it, you'll understand when you're older. Hopefully most people evolve past the pearl clutching and end up looking for the stories of justice sought and wrought. (The cold case chapter here really scratched that itch for me.)

My personal journey went from pearl clutching, to trying to understand, to fascination with psychology, to the evolution of forensics, to terror (thank you, Michelle McNamara), to actively seeking out the people fighting back the tide. As casual consumers, it's easy to forget that there's lingering sadness and horror behind every case that comes to light. That's evident and frank in THE GHOSTS THAT HAUNT ME.

Steve Ryan always wanted to be a cop, and when he made it to homicide, his passion for helping people and bringing justice to killers came to the forefront. It's easy to assume that because he's a retired homicide detective and was at one point an eager cadet that Ryan's storytelling capabilities would be null or drab. But he writes with vivid imagery and deep empathy for the people that suffer from these crimes. It's that empathy that made this book worth the at times very difficult read. Let me reiterate that true crime is like a second skin for me. I've many times considered entering the field somehow, especially in the fields of forensics or psychology. Being an ME would be like...my Wednesday-Addams-heart's desire.

I had to take breaks from this book.

Every case Ryan covers is particularly brutal in some manner, not always physical. And every case is easy to find reported in the local Toronto papers. (I checked, just to make sure he wasn't exaggerating.) As you go further and further with him on his career journey, you as a reader become acquainted with the fatigue that seeps through every turn of phrase. You shouldn't read THE GHOSTS THAT HAUNT ME while in a bad emotional place; however, I suggest putting it on your TBR and getting to it when you have a sunny day and feel relatively stable enough to handle what essentially amounts to peeling back the curtain on humanity's pits and caves.

And just for clarification: with all the unrest and, well, issues within police departments that have made their way to the front of our minds, rest assured that Steve Ryan's book does not read like the average policeman's. I'm well aware that these problems have always existed, that they're simply REALLY bad and glaring at the moment. All of that and more was why I opened my little Kindle file in great trepidation. The amount of empathy and deep-seated hope that wrongs can be righted are what pulled me through the final pages of THE GHOSTS THAT HAUNT ME. The pessimist inside my head could win, or I could hold on to the hope that things can change. That battle is constant, but maybe we could band together and march toward a brighter horizon.

The description of this book drew me in immediately. I really enjoy reading memoirs and when I saw this was one from a former homicide detective, I knew I had to check it out. It met my expectations and I’d absolutely read more of this genre.

Steve Ryan shares his experiences as a Toronto homicide detective with extensive detail and empathy. He selects six specific cases to describe and his compassion for the victims is evident throughout. He never highlighted the perpetrators, but focused on the victim, the victim’s family, and how the case was solved. Since I’m from the US, I hadn’t heard of any of these high-profile Canadian homicides. Steve writes with the benefit of hindsight since he’s retired from the police force and all these cases were solved. That sets this book apart from some other true crime that centers around unresolved crimes and cases.

It was interesting to read the parts of Ryan’s memoir where he described the toll the job took on him as well and his doubts about continuing at certain times in his career. He didn’t mince words or sugarcoat how taxing his job was, and how it affected his personal life and family. There were a few passages where I felt he was trying too hard to write about “teachable moments” and he veered into overly sappy and sentimental territory. Otherwise, I found the book easy to read and compelling.

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in true crime, police procedures, homicide investigations, and memoir. If you’re a fan of Law & Order: SVU, I would put this on your must-read list.

Another five star true crime book and I am mot complaining!
The book is written by Steve Ryan, a former police officer who was called upon to investigate many homosides in his career. Now retired, but active ss a reporter on murders in the city., he reflects on cases that were particularly tough and still haunt him. He begins his story talking about his life growing up in Toronto and hearing about a terrible murder of a boy that inspired him to become a homicide investigator. I find that interesting because many people who do this kind of police work or write books of true crime usually had a similar experience as a young person.
Ryan's writing is wonderful and reads like a novel which helps the reader to understand the cases, some of them horrible crimes concerning children. Ryan does not sugar coat his stories but presents the truth both in details and his own personal feelings. There are seven cases plus a final chapter explaining why he decided to change his career It is pretty stressful to be a homicide officer with constant exposure to murder almost every day It is almost impossible to have a family life or have time to enjoy your own interests. I am surprised he lasted ss long ss he did
The book is straightforward and real. It's not technically difficult to read but is true to life cases that might be difficult to understand . and most likely stir a lot of emotions. I also like his addressing some issues like "crime of passion" and other topics. I highly recommend this book for true crime book readers, those who are interested in psychological or human behavior and readers with curiously about why people kill. It might be unpleasant but sometimes we need to face these issues in the hope that we can better understand the darker side of human nature.

I don’t particularly care for rating memoirs and I really don’t want to rate one for a homicide detective.

This was a quick and easy read (not emotionally easy to read though) and I was able to finish it in an hour or two. I’d definitely recommend this to any true crime fan.

Shoutout to NetGalley for the ARC.

I was engrossed in this book from the very beginning. Steve Ryan did a phenomenal job painting a picture of the day in his life as a homicide detective. I felt such a range of emotions reading this book, from devastation of the families learning their loved one passed away in a brutal manner to the sorrow of a homicide detective handling severe neglect of a child. I know that for all the things that my mind would not be able to handle, there is someone who has to face those things head-on and give victims justice. But Steve Ryan did an absolutely incredible job introducing what that sort of career may be like. And I'm so thankful and feel indebted to those how sacrifice their peace of mind in order to do so.

Steve Ryan is a retired detective who worked in Toronto with their homicide squad.
Although he has retired, some cases he will never forget. This true crime book details those memorable crimes, the horror, tragedy and impact on those left behind.
Even though the cases are very sad, I did find the book interesting as true crime is one of my favorite genre.
I thank the author, publisher and Netgalley for my ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This was such an interesting book. I watch a lot of true crime shows, but these cases were all new to me since they were not from the US. I have such respect for these investigators who go into these horrific crime scenes and process and solve these cases. Especially the cases involving children. I don’t think people realize the emotional impact it has on the police when they have to work on these cases. Reading a book like this is just a reminder of what a great service they are doing to help keep us all safe. This book starts out with a bit of background on the author and investigator and what led him to his career. He then recounts 6 of the most shocking cases that he solved that impacted him the most. Just reading about the details of those cases is distressing enough, I cannot begin to imagine how he felt witnessing them. The book is well written and will keep you reeling from beginning to end.

I really enjoyed this book, It was very interesting getting to read the thoughts and things the detectives have to deal with when dealing with murder cases, and getting to read about one’s that he dealt with personally was definitely the best part!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My Selling Pitch:
Do you want an easy read that gives a cursory overview of a few true crime cases? Do you like meandering prose?

Pre-reading:
I just got through a wall of terrible romance novels. Purge my brain with some juicy true crime, please and thank you. But like also I'm afraid. True crime gets me heated.

Thick of it:
I truly wonder if someday we will get to the point where DNA is expected to be provided just like fingerprints as a kid.

Passion is a matter of being alive should be on a wall poster for basic 20-somethings like me to use as decor. I really like it.

I don’t think you need to be a father for children’s deaths to be the worst ones.

How would it ever make sense to you to burn your dead children’s letters?

Oh, that’s scary. I didn’t know criminals could be on a flight with you. Supervised or not-seems like a bad idea.

Some of the language in this book is too flowery. Give me more gritty details about the cases you worked and less about the weather

Detritus. Sin!

I fundamentally do not understand why women get into relationships with these blatantly misogynistic men.

I have read New York instead of North York every single time.

Why do these awful men always cut women’s hair? Like what is men’s fascination with women’s hair? It always makes me think of that Jamie Dornan interview when he’s like the sexiest thing on women is their hair, and then how so many different religions all make women cover their hair. Fucking why.

I’m starting to truly believe that anyone who fights recreationally is overcompensating for a massive inferiority complex to the point that their entire mentality is deeply unhealthy.

That’s such a good way to phrase it when these people do awful things. Like frame them as the awful crimes that they did and their hobbies, accomplished or not, as an aside.

How do two doctors end up with an unplanned pregnancy?

How is this man finding women to fuck him? He’s disgusting.

Fuck that. He should be in jail for life.

I wish he talked more about Muhammad‘s reaction. Like tell us what he said or does in jail now.

Post-reading:
I always feel weird critiquing memoirs. Because any criticism isn’t to say your experience wasn’t interesting enough for a book. The criticism is always for how the story was told and not what was chosen to be turned into a story. Also maybe I’ve been spoiled on more detailed true crime books, but this does not have enough information for me. There is a lot, and I do mean a lot, of meandering prose in this book where he’s just going to talk about the weather or his family or how he can’t sleep. Thank you very much for your service sir, but the fact that you saw traumatizing things and were traumatized- kind of a duh! moment. You can say it once and be done. That being said, I find him extremely respectful of the victims and would go so far as to say he’s a feminist. Rare for true crime. We love. The line-“Passion is a matter of being alive” is going to stick with me for a long, long time. You can read juicer books. I don’t think this is a must-read, but I don’t think it’s a waste of your time.

Who should read this:
People into true crime
People who like law enforcement memoirs

Do I want to reread this:
No

Similar books:
* True Crime Stories You Won’t Believe by Romeo Vitelli-cursory overview of a bunch of true crime cases
* Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young-memoir that’s vaguely true crimey about a cult and military corruption
* American Predator by Maureen Callahan-excellent true crime book about a serial killer
* Helltown by Casey Sherman-true crime book about a serial killer on Cape Cod

A memoir of Steve Ryan, veteran Toronto Homicide detective. Getting to see into the mind of the detective on select homicide cases makes so much more haunting and real. I read this in one day as it was intriguing and well written. Steve is and was very respectful to the victims and their families within the book.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The Ghosts That Haunt Me is a heartbreaking memoir by former Toronto detective, Steve Ryan. The memoir tells about the cases that he worked that haunt him the most. While these cases made my heart break for the victims and their loved ones, I was also impressed that Detective Ryan was able to show so much compassion and not become jaded by the horrors that he saw. I highly recommend picking up this memoir!

Thank you @netgalley and @dundurnpress for allowing me to read this book ahead of publication in exchange for my honest review.

I enjoyed this ebook edition so much, that I desperately need the physical copy in my hands ASAP. I love reading memoirs of retired detectives. This was an absolute blast for me to read.

The writing is interensely personal and heartfelt, but that being said, this may be the most sorrowful and depression true crime book I’ve ever read. I would highly recommend it to anyone considering a career in law enforcement , especially homicide, because it paints no roses hued rainbows of heroism over the taxing toll this job takes on a human being, dealing with victims and families of the victims day after day, year after year, constantly on guard and hoping not to be called in, haunted by an endless vision of helpless children or women who slip through the cracks and are no longer among us. The guilt and misery pours like the tears of a grieving mother from the pages and you will often have to step away to console yourself that at least the guilty parties are brought to justice, if there is any justice to be had once and innocent has lost their life. Overall, a good read, sympathizers, deep, compassionate but depression inducing. Bling a big box of tissues.

The Ghosts That Haunt Me is spectacular true crime! I have been a true crime enthusiast since I was a little girl. I've read about countless cases, so imagine my excitement when I came across this book that was filled with cases I'd never heard of! Steve Ryan did a fantastic job drawing me in right from the beginning. The writing is great. But, my favorite part about this book is how much he focused on the victims. I've never read or watched a true crime that handled victims stories in such a delicate manor. Most true crime stories focus on the perpetrators, even when they claim to be victim centered. But not Steve Ryan! There were even a few stories in this book that nearly brought me to tears. I wholeheartedly hope that Ryan will write another book, because I think he may have found his true calling. Thank you for helping these victims to live on, and telling their story in such a beautiful way.
I also loved how he includes the impact that his career in homicide has had on him. It's blatantly obvious how much he cared and grieved for each and every person who met such a tragic end. I honestly can't think of one negative thing about this book, and I'll be recommending to everyone I can!

Wow! Steve Ryan, a veteran homicide detective of the Toronto squad, talks about 6 murders. Now, these are the six murder investigations that have stayed with him throughout his whole career.
I really enjoy true-crime books and the true-crime podcast so this was right up my alley! Steve talks about joining the police force. Steve does an amazing job of sharing the facts of the story and gives you a first-hand view of what happened, in these six different cases! However, if true crime is not your deal I wouldn't pick this book up because it can kind of be intense at times but boy oh boy was this book good!
I really appreciated the way Steve talked about these cases and brought the victims to life, in a manner to make sure that the reader just does not see the murder they also see the victim and that the victim was an actual person. A person with dreams, a life, and a family. The writing is descriptive and haunting and these cases were very intense. If you enjoy true crime then this should be your next read! Thank you Netgalley and Dundurn Press for the exceptional opportunity to read and review this one! This is a book that the cases will stay with me!

This book is hard to give a star rating.

The writing was excellent, and unlike most true crime novels, didn't sensationalize the stories to sell more books. It was so real and raw and quite an emotional undertaking, but not once did you get the idea that Steve was impartial to anything that happened.

Definitely a worthy read for true crime followers.

Thanks to Netgalley and Dundurn Publishing for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review. This Memoir will be released October 11th, 2022!

I am huge fan of True Crime. This book was so well written, Highly recommend to any one that is a true crime junkie!!

I tried my best to get through this book, the author had a lot of heart. He explains some of his top cases throughout his career - those cases that just stick with you no matter what. But I couldn’t give it 5 stars, I found it a little bland and in need of something heartwarming at the end.

Thank you Steve Ryan for sharing your story, even though some aspects I'm sure were hard to re-visit and tell. This book had a huge impact on me and I am thankful to have read it. I loved hearing Ryan's side of the story as the detective on scene or reading through the files of cold cases. These stories moved me and kept me reading and wanting more. Bravo to Steve.