I was so drawn to this book. Certainly the cover is eye-catching, and it’s what attracted me initially, but the story delivered far more. I’m not a big horror genre fan, but I couldn’t resist a character who hears the voice of a serial killer in her head!! Mary was strange, tormented, and surrounded by people who treated her poorly. But, were they monsters or was she? It was quite a ride to the end, but I was there for every minute. I loved it. I thought I knew what was going to happen throughout the book, but it was layered and nuanced. There were twists and turns I didn’t expect, and I couldn’t decide if I was rooting for Mary or not. Maybe a bit of both. Read this book. You won’t regret it.

Shoo this book is CREEPY! It’s pretty gory and has a long list of triggers so definitely check those out before starting this book - I know some people I’ll be telling to skip it based on that list.

NetGalley granted me access to an audiobook copy of this one and it was fantastic. The narrator made this and interesting listen and I was definitely invested in the outcome at the end.

There’s all kinds of weird and creepy things in this book and since I do love horror, this was up my alley. I will say that this book definitely seemed longer than it needed to be. I felt like it started to wrap up many times throughout the story but then there would be another chapter. This leads me to believe some parts were really unnecessary or overly wordy.

It’s enjoyable if the triggers aren’t a problem for you and you enjoy horror books.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thank you Netgalley for this audio edition of Mary by Nat Cassidy.

Oooooh, if you are in need of a spooky, Stephen King-esque, Halloween read, here you go! This will send chills up your spine and give you a healthy suspicion of pillowcases (you'll have to read it to know).

Mary is a quiet, unassuming single middle aged woman who has spent most of her life dedicated to working at the local bookshop. But the bookshop is now looking for a more updated version of Mary and she is let go. And now, feel a sense of familial obligation, is leaving town to take care of her crass, aging aunt.

But Mary has a terrible secret and burden. Whenever she looks in the mirror, or looks at another woman, she is visually assaulted by images of gore, mutilations, and a desire to commit acts of violence. But how could this be when none of this fits the person that Mary is. But maybe becoming a member of this new town can lead her to some answers, and hopefully respite from this terrible haunting.

Lots of gore, lots of mystery, lots of twisty story to untangle. I will admit to a bit of drag in the middle, and the author will warn you at the beginning of content containing misogyny, SA, and violence, so yes, this is a very rated R horror. But if that's what you're here for, look no further!

I feel terrible about this, but I just couldn't finish this. The gore seemed gratuitous, and the didn't make me want to keep going. I've read King, Straub, and countless other authors who don't shy away from graphic moments of violence, but this one went a little too close to (and sometimes over) the line for me. I think there is a market for this kind of work, but I'm afraid I may not be it. Thanks for the galley, but I really can't recommend this to anyone.

This was not what I expected going in. I listened to the audiobook. The narrator did a good job. This was a long audiobook and the pacing of the story was slow. However, I think it worked well because at one point I got hooked. It unique, creepy, and atmospheric. I have a love/hate relationship with an unreliable narrator but again in this case it worked. I had no idea where it was going but happily went along for the ride.

Mary is a middle aged woman who wants nothing more than to be invisible. However this need to blend into the background stirs something up inside her. She starts hearing voices in her head that tell her to do bad things. She experiences hot flashes, body aches, and fainting spells.

After being fired from her job she decides to go home to New York. Mary hopes this homecoming will help her reconnect with herself and heal whatever is going on inside her. Unfortunately, the move only makes things worse. She starts seeing disturbing visions and adopts other strange behaviors. It isn’t until Mary discovers that these behaviors mirror the experiences of a serial killer that she begins to really worry.

Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for this arc in exchange for my honest review.

Mary is reaching middle age. Turning 50 in a few short weeks, she is dismissed as peri-menapausal when she goes to a doctor for help. So begins this very feminist, very familiar story. Mary is called home by her ailing aunt, and what she thinks is a quick trip soon turns into a life altering experience. Cults, ghosts, serial killers, This book really had a little of everything.

I loved the themes of feminism and the inherent misogyny in society, how women are only ever valued in their usefulness to the men around them. The way it permeates from the youngest ages. To always be more pretty, and then when pretty is no longer an option to be more quiet and invisible. The healthcare scenes in particular hit such a strong chord with me, someone who suffer from chronic illness and pain. The way concerns are dismissed and ignored. When we say we know our bodies and know when something's wrong and its dismissed as hormones or in our head. It was so prominent throughout the book, and I felt honestly so seen.

I will admit while I loved so much of the book, at the end of the day it was a bit overly long. At one point I thought I had to be coming upon the climax because there's no way anything else could happen. Only to find I was only around 20% into the book. And sure enough, the majority of new information from that point on was unnecessary. Then there was the mythology aspect that was.... I don't want to say pointless because it plays such a vital role in the end of the book. But it was not handled well and was poorly introduced/explained. A lot of this book had many points where the scenes served no purpose or could have been executed better and as a result fell flat and felt like a waste of time. Which is sad considering how great so many of the pieces were. They just fit together like a poorly made puzzle. Yea you can see the picture it was going for, and you might have even had fun putting it together, but at the end of the day it just doesn't quite work together.

That said, I do want to read this again. There were so many amazing lines through the book, and the constant references to Kate Chopin's The Awakening (a favorite book and such a perfect book t0 be referenced here) make me really want to go through again to better appreciate the prose. I almost feel like I could write a thesis on the feminism and place of women in society just using this book. The fact that I feel so seen in a book written by a cis white man really says something to his ability. I just think it could have been better executed/edited.

I'll end with my favorite line from the book:
"The real curse of womanhood is that we never get to forget we have a body"

I do not know how to write the review for this 15+ hour audio book. And seriously, I am never a person without something to say. My fear is if I give away details it will ruin the journey for you, and I want you to experience this as I did - completely cold.

I request books based on title, cover pic and genre. So, romance is out. Feely feels is out. Memoirs, nope, not interested. On the Netgalley site it's listed as general fiction, but Goodreads lists supernatural, horror, mystery with a nod to Midsommar, which was all I needed to hear.

From the moment Susan Bennett begins her skillful narration as main character Mary, I was hooked. Mary is a character different than most, and similar (minus a few things) to me - she’s older, she’s enduring perimenopause and not afraid to talk about it, she’s got less years left than behind and a ton of baggage being carried solely on her back. I loved Mary. And her Aunt Nadine was given some of the best lines I’ve read in a book. In fact, this book was filled with things I wanted to write down to share - author Nat Cassidy is a master of dialogue. Not spoiling things but when you read this pay attention to the quote about belly rubs and dogs versus cats. I happened to listen to this on a dark weekend in my country’s history and this quote resonated through every fiber of my being.

So, I won’t tell you more about the plot but I will tell you that I found myself researching the author. I’ve never heard of this man yet he was writing exactly for me. In his prologue he mentions Stephen King, Carrie, being a reader and writer as a kid - that was me too. I LOVE books with depth and Cassidy writes with depth. A 15+ hour audiobook as his first time up at bat???? Wow. Having grown up as a reader of King, Saul, Koontz, Jackson and having escaped deep into stories my whole life, I hope I live long enough to see where Cassidy’s extraordinary ability to tell a story goes.

That’s it. Great book. Took me longer to process my feelings than it did to listen to the audio book and that is a credit to an author who understands how to tell a story.

Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan author for the privilege of being an early listener in exchange for my honest review. Mary releases on July 19, 2022.

Thank you Netgalley, Tornightfire and Macmillan Audio for providing me with this arc!

Holy WOW! Five stars. This is so well written and creepy and I could not stop I needed to know what happened next. I thought I knew and wow was I wrong haha. I seriously hope this is made into a movie.

Definitely check the trigger warnings because it’s violent and gory and definite body horror.

The (male) author does such an amazing job of writing a perimenopausal woman, and her journey in finding herself. (See below for book description from amazon).

“Mary is a quiet, middle-aged woman doing her best to blend into the background. Unremarkable. Invisible. Unknown even to herself.

But lately, things have been changing inside Mary. Along with the hot flashes and body aches, she can’t look in a mirror without passing out, and the voices in her head have been urging her to do unspeakable things.

Fired from her job in New York, she moves back to her hometown, hoping to reconnect with her past and inner self. Instead, visions of terrifying, mutilated specters overwhelm her with increasing regularity and she begins auto-writing strange thoughts and phrases. Mary discovers that these experiences are echoes of an infamous serial killer.

Then the killings begin again.

Mary’s definitely going to find herself.”

Mary is a woman of a certain age. She’s become invisible to other people in that way that all women of a similar age seem to do. But Mary is feeling very present, and she’s beginning to have terrible visions of bloody, gory ghosts and finds herself performing automatic writing, words pour out of her, but are not from her own mind. The hot flashes, voices in her head telling her to do terrible things appear to mirror the actions of an infamous serial killer. Funny, menopause is not what Mary thought it would be. Cassidy gives all women who have become “invisible” not just a voice, but a scream, to be heard across the country