This book is an absolute wild ride—a blend of horror and reality dating show that defies expectations, unlike anything I've read before. It's a short, fast-paced story with plenty of gore towards the end, so if that's not your thing, you might want to pass. But if you're into cults, gay islands, and cryptids, you'll probably enjoy it. I connected with Renee’s perspective as a bisexual Black woman discovering her preference for women while still being attracted to both genders. Vanessa and Amanda added to the story despite their occasional annoying, catty behavior, but I didn't have much nice to say about Lilah-Mae. The story alternates between the perspectives of women on a dating reality show, turning from a silly comedy about on-set drama into a grisly horror when mountain lesbians get involved. Though the pacing felt off at times, the characters and their dynamics were intriguing. Overall, it's a unique horror story about the authenticity of intimacy and wildness in strange places, set against the backdrop of social media and TV's commodification of human relationships.

this was absolutely bizarre? and weird? but in a good way that I had a good time with? I'm honestly having trouble even typing up a review for Patricia Wants to Cuddle but I would still recommend it to a select reader. I need to read Samantha Allen's backlist titles now!

I had a hard time reviewing this one because I couldn't pinpoint why I did not love it. My review ended up reading: I was expecting this to be more like Libba Bray's Beauty Queens and I wanted more of Patricia.

I didn't understand the hype around this book. It was an OK listen, but I didn't think it was anything different or hype-worthy. None of the characters were likable, nor were any of them full characters; there were a lot of POV and not a lot of details for each one.

I received an advance copy. All thoughts are my own.

This was wild. What did I just read haha. Entertaining? Check! Weird? Double check! I didn’t love this, but I enjoyed it for what it was!

this whole premise had potential but the various elements don't come together that well and it wasn't as queer as i was led to believe (by the marketing etc)

i LOVED THIS SO MUCH. this is perfect for fans of melissa broder. so weird and so fantastical and just AMAZING. i loved how the characters were written and this was so fast paced i just could not put it down can’t recommend more highly!!

All roses to the literary fiction debut of Samantha Allen’s 𝙋𝙖𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙖 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝘾𝙪𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 that steals our queer hearts with humor, horror, and hunter-gatherers. The novel opens when the final four contestants on a reality dating show up to the mysterious Otters Island in the Pacific Northwest to film the final episodes of 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩. While the mediocre white man is nobody’s “catch,” the women each have their respective reasons for being a part of the show. Allen masters multiple POVs, blog posts, sapphic love letters, and chat transcripts to propel her satire on reality shows and media culture, shows how heteronormativity disrupts queer love, and to why community should be more receptive to others.

As someone who dislikes dating reality shows, I was hesitant to read the novel if it centered on this premise. Then the cover and the blurb “Bigfoot-Lesbian-Romcom-Mystery-Horror” sold me. Every stereotype that Allen portrays with these characters is spot on. I laughed so much in this book because I felt like I could see them—I could hear them because I had the audio version. The producer Casey states, “𝘊𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 viewers think the girls all end up hating each other because of some man, but the best fights have nothing to do with idiots like Jeremy.” Women fight amongst themselves and that makes for good TV every time. Allen went beyond the mirror of these characters’ faces and the algorithms of their social platforms.

The cover shows you what might happen. The plot is absolutely bonkers, but it doesn’t stop you from turning the page to find out what’s next. It’s so enticingly good. Patricia acts like a secondary character because she’s always there but we don’t find out much about her and that’s unfortunate. I wanted to. Also, the group of misfit islanders they deserve more attention, too. I think another 50-75 pages to flesh out the storyline would do the ending some good. I wanted more after the climatic horror-fest!

I might tear your limbs off if you don’t pick this one up! Just kidding!

What the heck was this book? This weird combination of The Bachelor and Survivor gave off a realistic reality TV vibe, which I think the book was going for but to add in a supernatural element felt strange and jarring. The supernatural element was introduced too late into the story to save it and the author went for a big reveal but I think it was just a big letdown.

I didn't care about any of the characters, The narrator was just fine. but didn't do anything to save the story.

I love a dark and satire twist to a novel but sadly this wasn't my jam.

It took me a moment to decide how I feel about this one. I ultimately wanted more from the horror element--more backstory, more of the lore, a greater understanding of the creature and her cult--and felt the sasquatch was underutilized and underexplored, for my taste. And maybe satire is not the genre for me, but I found myself wondering whether the casual misogyny toward the contestants was part of the joke--if it was making fun of the sometimes-harmful way people make fun of reality TV--or if was simply a feature of the book's attitude toward its characters. Maybe I missed the nuance, but I was hoping for more of it from the critique of reality TV. I did love the characterization and implications of the producers and host of the show. I really enjoyed the epistolary elements--the letters and the chat forum pieces. The narrator was good. But I was left wishing there were just a few more chapters that were entirely dedicated to the island, the creature, and the women who love her.

One of the dangers of writing satire is that if you don’t do a very sharp and clear job of it, the book ends up being nothing more than another example of the thing you were trying to satirize.

Such is the unfortunate case here, where a horror satire of reality tv reads…basically like reality tv.

This needed to be a lot smarter and a lot funnier in order to achieve the desired premise. Instead it’s just a combination of The Bachelor and Survivor that fails to realize it isn’t in on its own joke.

Rather than seeming to poke fun at its own subject, the book merely inhabits it. If you’re a big reality tv fan, that will probably work fine for you. For me (by no stretch a fan of this type of tv programming), the story is a huge miss.

I also don’t love the use of a protagonist whose entire identity is largely about being sanctimonious about the very reality tv program she is seeking to benefit from. While I share her opinions on the shallow tedium of it, all the sneering toward something she’s seeking to use to serve her own agenda doesn’t make her particularly likable. There’s some nuance possible in this type of portrayal that could have worked successfully, but the writing here isn’t that sophisticated.

And the supernatural element of this (as well as the big reveal that accompanies it) was just…<rolls eyes>

Audiobook Readers: The narrator here does a fine job and the plot works fine for this medium, but neither of those things can rescue this book from lacking the smarts and the humor that it needed to achieve its desire effect.

Thank you Netgalley for this audiobook edition of Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen.

What in the bloody reality show did I just read? When the finalists of a vapid dating show The Catch finishes it's season on an island in the PNW, it ends spectacularly, but in ways no one could have prepared for.

I'm going to let you guys read the summary to know what this book is about. But try as I might, I could not connect with this book. I didn't care about the characters, or the weird plot, that just didn't land for me. I do appreciate how different this is, and I love trying new genres, especially ones as zany as these, but this just wasn't it for me.

While I'm only giving this book 4 stars, I still feel like it will be one of my most recommended books.
Somehow, this is another The Bachelor book, which is great for me, I just had no idea going in. But it's trying to balance that with some true crime stuff, and also creature horror. Sure, it doesn't all work together all the time, but each element is great.
We've got 5 main POVs plus some blog chat (a staple for all bachelor rip-offs), some true crime articles and some letters from the past. It's a lot going on, a lot of names and a lot of timelines, but they're mostly used to set the atmosphere. This isn't a mystery you're trying to solve.
However, you'd be forgiven for not realizing this book is horror. The cover is cutesy, but this book really goes for it. It's much more gory than suspenseful, which worked perfectly for my taste. It goes in a direction I could not see coming, and I flew through the last 50% once the action really gets going.
I also read this via audio and I loved the full cast. The narrators are really going for it and making the horror actually work, which is a hard thing to pull off.
I'd recommend this to so many people, and I feel like it's a great way for newbies to dip their toe into horror. If you like romance, messy drama, reality tv, survival stories, true crime, or sapphic books, you should pick this up.

Note: after hearing the audio version, I changed my rating to 5 stars. 5 stars shouldn't be reserved for Shakespeare, for Toni Morrison, for Elizabeth Strout. 5 stars means the book is among the very best in its genre; Patricia Wants to Cuddle is among the best humorous novels being published this century.

A further note: this is the first time I can recall an audio book making a narrative easier to follow rather than harder. The presence of multiple, very skilled readers (Cindy Kay, Justis Bolding, Laura Knight Keating, Susan Bennett, and Jasmin Walker) makes it easier to tell the Catch contestants apart.

It is great to encounter my favorite parts a second time; within the last twenty percent of the book, the figurative language involving a weathervane and a turkey absolutely slay me.

Below is my original review.
________________________________________


“You have to watch out for the quiet ones.”

I had an ugly upper respiratory flu, and this excellent novel was exactly what the doctor ordered. My thanks go to Net Galley, Recorded Books, and Zando Publishing for the review copy. Patricia Wants to Cuddle will be available to the public Tuesday, June 28.

As the story begins, we are midway through filming “The Catch,” which is a reality television show similar to “The Bachelor.” Our cast includes the four lucky women to have made it this far; producer Casey; a handful of crew members; and oh dear, Jeremy, a scuzz bucket if ever there was one. Jeremy is this season’s catch. We also have a handful of locals, since we are filming on location; included is a bashful cryptid in the woods, a lonely creature that reacts very badly to stressful situations. As you may guess, Patricia is that cryptid.

These people are on Otter Island, a fictional addition to the San Juan Islands off the coast of Washington State. Think deep woods, rain, and glamping. And…what the hell was that, just now? Too big to be a bear. And why are the sheep so agitated?

Baaaaa.

The contestants are mostly not interested in love; they are interested in publicity, for various reasons of their own. The shooting schedule leaves them sleep deprived on an almost permanent basis, and so given the premise of the show—competition, not cooperation—it doesn’t take long for the women to turn on one another.

Samantha Allen is new to me, but she’s on my radar now. This story is snicker-worthy at the outset, and by the time we reach the climax, I am howling with laughter. Part of the joy comes from the plot and pacing, but the biggest laughs for me are those that combine these outrageous events with some of the funniest figurative language I have ever read. In fact, were I to rate this story solely on its humor, without rating the more traditional elements such as character development, this would be a five star read.

This book will appeal most to those that lean to the left.

Recommended to those that love darkly hilarious fiction.

This is a bland book, I truly don't know why I bothered with it until the end. The only thing it had going for it was the suspense of the story, I wanted to find out what happened in the end.

I feel the story needs improvement in the depth of it characters, and descriptive nature of setting scenes etc. It felt more like the author was rushing to put the story into words, but didn't spend the time setting the scene or the characters.

The story is something like the TV series "The Bachelor". In this case the contestants are on a reality TV Show called "The Catch" where single women, go on dates with one man and at the end of the show he chooses one of these women to be his "wife".

There are multiple narrators for the novel, each narrator is for a different character which is well done, or it would have been hard to follow otherwise.

Each women is competing for Jeremy's attention, but in reality they all have their reasons to be on the show, whether it be to promote their own business, gain more followers on social media, or even just to go on an all expenses paid holiday.

When the contestants go to a remote island to go glamping, one night all hell brakes loose. One of the ladies goes missing, then there is a loud metallic bang heard that can be heard across the whole island, which could possibly be a car accident. More people start to go missing, and the island is not as it seems.

Thankyou to Netgalley, RB Media and Recorded Books for my advanced audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

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Patricia Wants to Cuddle is a wild ride. I loved it from beginning to end....especially the end. I had no idea what to expect going into this and that is the best way to encounter this book. The audiobook cast on this was EXCELLENT. I honestly don't know if I would have liked this book as much if I had read this book. The cast really really got the voices down and went 110% with their characters.

I do feel like there was a lot of build up that lead up to an ending that happened to fast and left a lot unanswered. I'm honestly having a hard time reviewing this one because it's really a 'wtf did I just read' type of book. It's bizarre in such a good way.

If you love satirical, horror-ish, campy books-I would recommend this one. You just have to go listen to it to get the full wonderful wackiness of it.


Thank you to NetGalley and RB Media, Recorded Books for letting me review this odd book.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle was absolutely ridiculous—but in a good way!

The story starts midway through the season of The Catch, a Batchelor-type reality show. The four finalists, “the Catch,” the show host, and the crew are headed to secluded Otter’s Island in the PNW to film an episode of the show. On the island, things start to go off the rails and the book veers from social commentary about media culture and reality tv to suspense and horror.

I enjoyed the campiness and satire in this book. It’s short, and I wish it was longer! It felt a bit rushed at the end, and I really would have liked to know more about the characters that become more prominent in the second half of the book.

If you like satire, embrace the ridiculous, and aren’t icked out by gore, I think you’ll like this one.

If you have ever hate watched The Bachelor and love a dark comedy, this is for you. It took me a while to adjust to the multiple pov writing but once I did this was a very fun one day read. It is the perfect amount of weird and outlandish that I prefer in my fiction.

Honestly just bonkers in the best way. A modern twist on a vintage creature feature, you’ll enjoy every single quirky twist along this wild ride.

-Disclaimer: I received this book for free through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.-

Felt pointless.

It took forever for Patricia to get to the scene. 70% of the book was a boring blur of contestants. The majority of the contestants blended together. There wasn't enough detail/connection to care about any of the characters. It was just gory for the sake of being gory.

I didn't like the social commentary parts. It further broke the flow. Far too light on the queer and horror aspects. Never was the book unique or funny. The narrator was alright. The book would work better if you go in with no expectations. All-in-all, this was just too much of a chaotic mess to work.