TW: SA

*MINOR SPOILERS -- READ WITH CAUTION*
With so many MM fantasy romances marketed toward the YA audience, it was so refreshing to read a book for adults. One of the things that I see happening a lot in LGBTQIA+ romances is the needless censoring of the more intimate scenes, as though that is fine for heterosexual characters, but audiences cannot bear it for homosexual couples. There is also a rape scene at the very beginning of the book which is difficult to read but is important for the main characters and the story arc. It also normalizes the fact that rape victims are not only women, that rape can occur between people who know each other or who were formerly intimate consensually, and that rape does not have to be penetrative to leave the same emotional scarring. Moreover, it is okay to have that scarring and to take time to heal.

Overall, as the author notes at the beginning, this is a book that is hopeful and uplifting, even while the main characters deal with extremely tough situations. There is a lot of growth in this book, both between the main characters, the main characters and other characters, and outside characters as well. I did not know anything going into this tale and had not even hard about the book prior to seeing it on Netgalley, but it is worth a read. Once I picked it up, I had trouble doing anything else. Meadows has penned something special here, and I highly recommend checking it out.

5 stars.

A well written, beautifully painful - yet enjoyable, gay fantasy romance. The book features some fun tropes: politically arranged marriage, one-bed, some pining. PLEASE Check your trigger warnings for this one! I listed some at the bottom of this review. This book contains very heavy themes and the primary character development for Velasin surrounds overcoming various traumatic experiences. If that feels daunting, this book may not be for you.

There are a lot of politics taking place in the book, without the reader feeling bogged down by a confusing political system. Rather, the politics are written in a way the provide intrigue and help further the story development. One complaint I see in other's reviews is that the mystery portion felt drawn out...I disagree. It think it was a good subplot that allowed space for each of the love interests to see different sides of each other while also providing an intriguing non-romantic plot line. Also, the addition of magic, while perhaps unnecessary was done well and enjoyable, without it being a major focus of the story.

I loved all of the representation in this story: the main characters are a gay man and a bi man, one character is mute and communicates primarily through sign language, and there is both trans and nonbinary rep.

This is a highly recommend for anyone who enjoys fantasy romance...who has checked the trigger warnings.

I listened to the audiobook, narrated by James Fouhey and Vikas Adam, via NetGalley. An advanced reader's copy of this audiobook was provided to me via NetGalley by Macmillan Audio in exchange for an honest review.

TWs: On-page rape occurring/by <spoiler>early in the story by a former lover</spoiler>, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, posttraumatic responses, homophobia, transphobia, internalized homophobia, outing, animal death/gore, blood/gore.

Thank you so much to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for sending me an early copy of this audiobook! All opinions are my own!

Be sure to check trigger warnings for this book!

I normally don't mesh well with politically driven books, but this definitely stole my heart in the end! I absolutely adored Velasin's character development and the story of his healing. It was heartbreaking to watch, but so rewarding in the end as he truly heals and comes out of it so much stronger. He knows his limits, understands his own weaknesses, and even when he stumbles, he understands that this won't be the end of him. I adored the narrative of healing from past trauma and un-learning his own biases.

The romance is to die for! I love slow burn, but this felt more like the formation of friendship and trust than anything else. By the end I felt like there was a genuine connection that had been made, and it made it all the sweeter!

I do wish that more of the fantasy elements had been woven in before the big reveal was done. It felt like magic was not really talked about and then all of a sudden it became a big deal. I also wasn't sure that it was fantasy for quite a while.

But if you're a fan of slow burn and political intrigue, definitely check this out!

⚠️ content warning:. Rape.
This book was so hard to listen too. I have no words to explain how this book affected me. The main character's story was so hard to listen too. I cried so much. The book is good and dives into a fictional world with homophobia. I likened to some of the people in my country.

DNF @ 30%

Thank you so much to Tor Books and Netgalley for providing an e-arc and ALC of this! All thoughts and opinions are still my own.

No one is more heartbroken about this outcome than me. This was one of my most anticipated summer releases and I thought this would for sure be a new all time favorite. But tragically this book just wasn't working for me.

First of all - HUGE (MASSIVE) content warnings for descriptive on page sexual assault. This isn't a quick reference, but a long in depth scene and it's very difficult to read. And afterwards there is a lot of suicidal ideation (near attempts). So please, please be careful before going into this one.

Lets start with what I liked because there was actually quite a bit that I enjoyed about this book which made it difficult for me to put down permanently. The characters were fantastic. They were all unique, well rounded, fleshed out characters. Which made them so east to connect to and love. Even those that were highly flawed.

And the romance - the ROMANCE - was so flipping good. Their connection and chemistry was perfection and I'm still a little heartbroken that I won't get to see their relationship flesh out. Foz Meadows did such a fantastic job making their chemistry feel real while pacing the romantic build up.

However, where this lost me was in the excessive info-dumping and politically heavy plot. I love a good political maneuvering plot, however I could not follow this one to save my life. I was listening to this via audio, so that may have played a factor, but I couldn't keep anyone straight in my head. Everyone had titles and rankings and at no point was I able to get a grasp on any of it.

But another reason for that was the way the world/politics were built. There were random moments of info dumping and I felt like so much information was thrown at me in a single go that I ended up taking in none of it. We'd be in the middle of a dialogue between characters and suddenly there were be an aside to define random terms. Half the time it felt like I was jumping to annotations it was so abrupt.

Overall, I enjoyed the characters but not the plot. And I couldn't bring myself to read a 400 pages when I wasn't invested in the majority of what was happening.

4+

Aw, I'm so glad I read this book. It's a queer fantasy romance, with politics and mystery amidst two people falling love, which is basically my catnip. Think "Winter's Orbit", but darker.

Alright, backing up, this book follows a young nobleman, who ends up in a political marriage with a nobleman from a neighboring country. And while it's a romance, it is dark. The book starts with a sexual assault, and it deals with the aftermath throughout the story. There is also rampant homophobia in the protagonist's home country. However, it is mostly a lovely, tender, queer romance coupled with fast-paced adventure, which is my jam.

My main quibble is that I wish the book had had more falling action, instead of ending as abruptly as it did. I hope this is a sign that the author is working on another book set in this world. However, I still loved it, and I would highly recommend it for fans of "Winter's Orbit" and "A Marvellous Light."

2.5 stars
I really expected to love this one, and was so excited when I got the audio ARC. And I did enjoy some parts of it, but for the most part this one was a miss for me.

The first aspect that didn't work for me was the characterization. Cae was too perfect, I liked him but felt he didn't have a lot of depth or personality. And I felt like Vel was all over the place. I still couldn't guess how he might respond or act in any given situation, and have no idea what either of the MCs are like when not actively in danger or trying to solve a mystery. And while this was a slow burn, which I usually love best, I found the chemistry lacking. I think because it weirdly ended up being sort of insta-love? I just wanted more from the characters and from their building connection. There were times when I was charmed or felt some emotion, but for the most part I just didn't feel as invested as I normally do in characters.

The mystery was another part of the story that did not work for me. Some elements of the mystery seemed so glaringly obvious, and others didn't make much sense. The plot dragged in many places, and then the ending felt rushed.

The tone of the story was also odd. Some parts of the story are extremely graphic and upsetting, but then the tone turns on a dime and characters are suddenly coyly joking. And not even gallows humor, but like lighthearted banter. I'm all for stories with softness and sharp edges, but the quick changes back and forth in this story, and the characters going so quickly from one mood to another just left me feeling confused.

Audio wise, I enjoyed both narrators. There were times when the dialogue didn't flow very well, and it's hard for me to judge whether that was because of the inflection when it was read aloud or if it would have felt the same in print. I also hated the voices the narrators used for Cae's sisters. And it was really hard for me to keep track of who was who when it came to side characters. There were so many of them and I think if I'd read the print I might have been more able to distinguish between them, but in audio the only way I knew who was who was by guessing based on context clues. But that might just be down to me having trouble with that sort of thing in audio, and might not be the case for other listeners.

There were parts of the book I enjoyed, but overall this one wasn't my cup of tea. Also, definitely suggest checking CWs before reading.

I’ll admit that I was a little hesitant to start this one. I’d heard that it included several very dark scenes, and I wasn’t sure if I was up for it. I’m so glad I decided to read it! Yes, there are some parts that were hard to read. I cried multiple times. This is book is so much more than that, though. It deals with consent, sexuality, and gender identity. It also touches on ablism is the form of Vel’s best friend/valet, who is mute. The book explores the nature of an arranged marriage and how two strangers from different cultures might possibly build a happy future together. There’s also lots of court intrigue and political maneuvering.

I listened to the audiobook, which is narrated by James Fouhey and Vikas Adam. I appreciated having two different and distinct voices between Velasin and Caethari’s chapters. I thought the audio was very well done.


TRIGGER WARNING: R*pe, self-harm, and thoughts of Su*c*de. There is also violence against an animal. Chapter 2 contains a graphic scene in which one of the main characters is r*ped by a former lover. They are caught in the act by his father and an envoy to Tithena. Everyone assumes he was a willing participant. A large part of the book involves this character slowly trying to heal and learning to trust again. You can easily skip the actual scene, but there are several flashbacks of a sort, especially in the beginning of the book.

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance
by Foz Meadows

Happy Pub Day

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Blurb] Byzantine politics, lush sexual energy, and a queer love story that is by turns sweet and sultry. A Strange and Stubborn Endurance is an exploration of gender, identity, and self-worth. It is a book that will live in your heart long after you turn the last page.

[Review] This book. THIS BOOK. I love this book so freaking much. This is a heavy book. Heavy in both content and in length. It totally threw off my timeline. But I'm okay with that. It was worth it. I average 1.5 books a day. This book took me just over 2 days. Again though. It was worth it.

First off, FANTASTIC CONTENT WARNING!!! Honestly! Heed the warning. But it's worth it. This book gives a very real and raw view of what it's like to heal in real time after a SA. It's not everyone's healing path. But Velasin's journey is no less valid. Also, SA is still SA even if you climax. No still means no. Thank you Foz, for making that distinction!!

I love this book so much. I love the story. I love the magical elements. I love the plot and the twists and turns and the final twists that I DID NOT see coming. But I also love the acceptance aspect to this book (minus the beginning). I love that love is love. That men get to love men and women get to love women, and they all get to have babies. I love the ease and acceptance of Caethari and how he is so gentle with Velasin. I want to go on and on about how much I love this book. But Just read it. It's so good. Magic. Love. Political intrigue. Backstabbing. Lust. All of it. SO GOOD!

Thank you, Netgalley & Macmillan Audio for the ARC copy of this audiobook.
Thank you, Foz Meadows for creating such an all encompassing world I just want to dive into.
Thank you, James Fouhey & Vikas Adam for giving voices to these characters and making me fall in love with ... most of them.

Relevant AO3 tags: Arranged Marriage. M/M. Slow burn. Hurt/Comfort. Archive warnings apply.

DAMN, but archive warnings apply. Check your trigger warnings against the list on the first few pages, because they are provided and they are ACCURATE.

Velasin vin Aaro (of conservative, homophobic Ralia) is exposed in a violent way, and sent off to be betrothed to Caethari Aeduria (of highly progressive Tithena). On his very arrival into the city, Valesin is dragged into the politics when his friend/manservant Markle is stabbed by a zealot....who claims to serve Caethari.

Of course, in good Arrange Marriage AU fashion, Velasin and Caethari quickly make survivable arrangements, mostly deciding to just be friends and keep up appearances so that Velasin can gain some safety in his now country. But, as expected, that arrangement starts getting real fuzzy real fast. At over 500 pages this is a NICE slow-burn. We get a few scenes of self-satisfaction to tithe us over until the inevitable romantic resolution, and wow. Wow, is that resolution worth it. Excellent work on the filth, Meadows. :D

While the romance and politics is certainly my thing, my actual favorite part of this book was the sign language. I'm only an ASL student, not Deaf or mute myself, but the character of Markle (Velasin's closest friend and esteemed manservant) was a really interesting way to bring the idea of disability AND accessibility into a medieval setting. Markle is not Deaf, but he is mute. Markle is actually quite the polyglot, understanding the language of his native Ralia, Tithena, and also a sign language. As no one in Tithena knows that Markle can speak Tithenan, Markle actually becomes quite the spy. A few people in the plot also become interested in Markle's sign language, and by the end of the book, there's a real possibility that it might be emerging as a new, secondary language in Tithena.

A nice CHUNKY book for someone that is willing to be highly entertained while waiting for the juiciest bits.

Oh, and on the audiobook...DAMN. Both readers are ACTORS, most definitely. They've got the tortured cry AND the needful growl down. Velasin's breakdowns in the beginning are almost too real. Amazing, I will be on the lookout for these narrators again!

Vel and Cae's story was really lovely! There were so many important themes explored amid the mystery that drove the plot of this fantasy novel. All of the discussions about identity were handled so gently by these amazing characters. The writing style was so appealing - and the narrators of the audiobook both did a great job!

The plot was definitely interesting and kept me fully engaged throughout the entire story. The way magic worked was also cool and became more and more important as events unfolded. There was plenty of politics, investigating, and fun fantasy elements to add extra layers.

But I have to say my favourite thing about this novel was the characters! They had such full and complex personalities, motives, and dynamics. My favourites were obviously Vel and Cae (they were super easy to love), but there were so many lovely supporting characters as well - my fave was Markel.

The relationship between Vel and Cae developed over a very short time thanks to the circumstances of their arranged marriage and the events that unfolded, but it never felt rushed or unbelievable as they grew closer. It really did feel like a slow burn, which matched how their feelings evolved even if the timeline itself was more rushed. Their trust, understanding, admiration, and bond built gradually as they got to know each other and had plenty of honest discussions.

I truly adored Velasin and the journey he went on in such a short time. His quiet strength and eventual self-acceptance were so beautiful. He was so considerate of others and I loved his friendship with Markel. Despite his training as a warrior, Caethari was so soft and caring and thoughtful. These two and their story were really, really great.

Velasin vin Aaro is a lord from Ralia who is meant to marry a Lady of Tithena to improve diplomatic relations. Plans go haywire when he is unexpectedly and drastically outed to his father, and is instead then pledged to marry her brother, Caethari Aeduria. These two are from different worlds, with the people of Ralia shaming those who desire same sex partners or identify as other than their biologically ordained sex. Not only is Velasin having to deal with the trauma of the exposure and coming to terms with his new status as a husband, but there is someone in the shadows who is willing to kill to end this new alliance.

This is my first LGBTQ romance, and WOW is this author killing it. The book is amazing and really brings to light the flaws within our society. I’m assuming that Ralia is meant to be current societal norms and that the new lands that Velasin is married into are what we one day hope to strive for regarding consent, identity, and autonomy. I look forward to the day we can accept one another as they do. This book was thrilling and heartwarming, and my .oh my the deception!

Features:
✔️LGBTQ Romance
✔️Murder Mystery
✔️Arranged Marriage
✔️Fantasy

Trigger Warnings:
✔️Rape
✔️Murder
✔️Brutality

Pub Date: 26 July 2022

This fantasy, mystery, magical, political intrigue, trauma book has some great characters and incredible world-building but ultimately it just tries to be and do too much and ends up falling short.

First of all, take the content warnings seriously. The audiobook arc I received had a warning for rape and suicidal ideation but I still did not feel prepared. There's on-page rape in chapter 2 that becomes a major theme throughout the book and the trauma leads to several instances of suicidal ideation. There's also graphic animal death in this book.

That being said, I found myself intrigued by the worldbuilding in this book. It's incredibly complex and I honestly would have loved a glossary, map, and a list of characters because trying to keep track of it all while listening wasn't the easiest. I did find it very impressive though and would have loved more insight into the world, and especially into how magic was used instead of having it be somewhat neglected.

The book has dual POV, switching between Vel and Cae which I thought worked well. It allows for lots of insight into both their worlds, customs, and histories as well as obviously each character's thoughts and opinions. I loved the characters in this book, I thought the chemistry between Vel and Cae was great, and the side characters were interesting and compelling, even the ones we weren't supposed to like. There was also wonderful diversity in characters which I loved.

The romance aspect is very much a slow-burn, and trying to incorporate that with the mystery and political intrigue, along with complex world-building that includes magic, and a great focus on trauma and how to deal with the aftermath of rape, the book felt both too long and not long enough all at once - and the audio clocked in at just under 19 hours, so it's not a short book. It's like the book wasn't fully sure what it wanted to be and because it wanted to try it all, we didn't get enough time to explore most of what it wanted to do. The ending came a bit out of nowhere and it felt somewhat anti-climactic and really cartoonish to have the "villain" sit down and explain step by step their motivations, thoughts, and actions to the main characters. It just felt like a strange and underwhelming ending, sadly.

All in all, I wouldn't mind seeing more in this universe because I feel like there's a lot more world-building to be done and that I'd be very intrigued to read about. I also would love to see more of Vel and Cae and their life together, as well as Markel and other of the side characters who didn't get as much of a chance to shine as they could have.

Thank you to Netgalley for a sending me an audiobook ARC of this book!

3.5/5 Stars

I went into this book knowing nothing about it and I found it an interesting audiobook! If you do pick this up, please check TRIGGER WARNINGS, as there is quite a few within this book.
I had a hard time of rating this book, it is so close to a 4-star read for me. But I could not give it higher as I found it needed more world building an a definitive magic system. I am a very visual person and love having the world described to me, so I can picture it as I read! Although, I know the book was more character driven. Focusing more on the main and side characters and their relationships with each other. The relationships and characters were so well done and made this book interesting to read, as I really enjoyed getting to know Velasin and Caethari. This book is very light on the fantasy side, so if you are looking for more high fantasy this book is probably not for you. If you looking for a book which character driven and self, then this is for you.

Vel comes home to a father who has always found him to be disappointing, and the news that he's now betrothed to a powerful daughter in a foreign land. He's not happy about the news, but duty insists, and he'll always do what is required of him. But then a horrific incident is witnessed and Vel finds himself engaged to his intended's brother instead. So begins the wrought and healing journey as Vel tries to find a place for himself in this strange new land, and with the trauma he is still processing and recovering from. But can he find happiness in a political climate where love can be the worst decision you ever make?

Take heed of the trigger warning at the beginning, it is not messing around. The content in question happens very early in the book. The remainder of the book handles the trauma and coping of the event by the main character and the ramifications/effect of those events on him and his relationships with the other characters..Vel's journey towards healing and acceptance of what happened to him, of coping with his trauma and not letting it control him was my favorite aspect of the book. It was something I feel actually helped heal me a little bit. And for that alone I would have given it five stars, but it's so much more than that.

Sometimes I think my ADHD makes it difficult for me to understand heavy world building, and usually feel bad for giving books lower ratings when the world building confuses me. Then books like this come out and remind me that intense, complicated world building IS possible and CAN make sense. I found the politics and cultures of each country fascinating, I wanted more of the history of the kingdoms, and government styles. I will admit I'm confused where Cae's family ranked in everything, but that could easily be something that I missed because of the nature of audiobooks.

Another aspect I really loved was the inclusion of a mute character. He is an integral part of the story and never made to feel like inclusion to meet a quota. He's a fleshed out and vibrant character with flaws and goals of his own. There are also other genuine conversations had about queerness and identity, and they're never once made to feel like some kind of fake awareness. It was authentic and refreshing to read.

Above all, the relationship between Cae and Vel as they navigated their marriage, and the potential political fall out related to their relationship was so beautiful. They grow to care for each other, truly and completely. Especially after the traumatic experience Vel faced, his realistic experience of finding someone who cares about him, trusts him, and loves him, and his own journey through this relationship was so healing to read about. Cae's patience and understanding as he tried to make his husband comfortable around him was a true and realistic kind of love. I saw someone else reviewing this book say it was like a homecoming. And honestly, that's a great way to put it.

I can't recommend this book high enough, and it deserves every single positive accolade it receives.

Absolutely incredible!! Lush fantasy world building, high stakes political maneuvering, flawed but desperately lovable characters with complex relationships and purposes, and a steamy slow-burn romance that focuses on consent and communication!!! Everything I’d want from a fantasy romance novel and so much I’d never think to ask for! Absolutely recommend to any fantasy readers looking to be swept up in a seductive adventure about healing and learning to trust again!

And a note on the audio, specifically. This is such a lush and atmospheric fantasy book that comes across perfectly as an audiobook. Would highly recommend it in that format to any audio readers !!

Rep: Gay MC, bi/pan LI, gay SCs, sapphic SCs, trans/non binary SC, mute SC who uses sign language, author isn't very specific, but I think a lot of characters are coded as POC (Not sure though!)

Trigger warnings: Please do research before reading this book. It has multiple trigger warnings. The beginning of this audiobook mentions rape/sexual assault and suicidal ideations. Those are the big two, but there are multiple others. In chapter 2 there is an on-page rape scene, and it gets brought up multiple times throughout the book. Also a few suicide attempts and ideations. Please be aware of all the triggers before reading this book.

Velasin is a good, loyal son. When his father tells him he’s to take part in an arranged political marriage with a princess from Tithena, he doesn’t object, even though he knows he can never truly be happy with a woman. Everything falls apart when his ex-lover assaults him before his betrothal, his secret being revealed to everyone. Disgraced, his father banishes him from his country forever, and Vel is instead betrothed to Caethari, the brother of the princess. Him and his friend Markle are whisked away to a new country with completely different customs. Vel must deal with his trauma, the culture shock, his new husband, and a murderer on the loose.

Ralia is very different from Tithena. Very bigoted. Same sex couples are not accepted there. Wives don’t have much say in the relationship, and are more of less a side piece. Naturally, with the culture differences, and his assault, Vel is terrified of what he’s gotten himself into. Fortunately, he has little to worry about. Cae is very kind and gentle, nothing like Vel imagine. Together, they agree to be friends.

I really enjoyed this book. It’s full of tenderness, love, healing and growth. The main characters have a very slow burn romance. The genres are a mix of fantasy, romance and murder mystery. Though I do wish we got to see more magic. A lot of characters either couldn’t do magic or weren’t very good at it. At times I forgot it was a fantasy book. That didn’t stop me from enjoying it though.

Velasin deserves the world and I felt so bad for him. He went through so much. My heart broke multiple times for him. Poor guy needs a vacation and only happy days from now on. (also definitely a therapist) I’m so happy he had Markle by his side, and later on, Caethari, to help him through everything. Being in Tithena was very good for him. He no longer had to hide his sexuality and face bigotry. Instead, he was surrounded by open minded and supportive people, some also who are also queer. This really helped him start to love and accept himself.

Caethari is a cinnamon roll. I’m so happy Vel ended up with someone so kind. Cae really took care of him, gave him space, never pushed him to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with and was always very supportive and protective. I also loved his interactions with Markle. As soon as he realized Markle was mute and him and Vel talked through sign language, Cae asked to be taught so he could also communicate with him. He didnt treat Markle any different.

Speaking of Markle, he is the 3rd cinnamon roll. He is mute, but doesn’t let that stop him. Though technically he’s Vel’s servant, really he’s more his best friend. They have such a great friendship. He’s always there for Vel, and Vel for him. They’re a constant in each other’s lives. Even when Vel tells him he doesn’t need to follow anymore, he chooses to stay at his side. They both do a good job of communicating their feelings to each other. (in sign language!! We love to see it!) What he did at the wedding was great (that custom is hilarious lmao). He’s also a badass with a bow. He was definitely a favorite character aside from the main two.

I liked Cae’s friend as well. The mage, I forgot his name. It was nice to see them on good terms. I’m happy they all got along with him, I was a bit scared he would turn out to be a bad guy. I wish we saw even more of him.

I think the author did a good job with Vel’s trauma. Obviously it’s a terribly thing that happened to him. The assault does come up frequently enough throughout the book. His mental health issues aren’t just brushed to the side. Vel is constantly dealing with it and trying to overcome what happened and heal. It was handled very delicately.

I loved all the diversity. It has lots queer characters. It was nice to see them accepted in Tithena. Also the mutism and sign language rep!! I think the author did a great job with Markle. He was a great character, more than his mutism, and the ableism was addressed.

Only things I think could have been improved is the world building and having more magic. But I loved the characters so much that it didn’t take too much away from my enjoyment.

The narrators did a great job.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an audio ARC of this book

PLEASE CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS BOOK!

That being said… WOW! I am ANGRY this book isn’t getting royalty treatment from book boxes and book stores!!! Where are the million special editions I need to collect!? Because this book is WORTH IT!

I go into books completely blind and this was no exception, and yet I was grabbed by this book from the beginning! Mute character being done in such an amazing and respectful way!? Count me in! Oh and there’s queer rep!? Even better!!! Murder attempts!? Magic!? Politics? IM SOLD!

By Chapter 2 I was already in love with the characters and being wrecked. By the end of the book I felt my heart put back together and loving everyone even more. Honestly you can see how much I loved this book by how chaotic and badly written this review is! I just can’t express how good it is except telling you to GO READ THIS BOOK NOW!

**Thanks to Netgalley and Tor for giving me an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

<u>A Strange and Stubborn Endurance</u> follows two MMCs—Velasin vin Aaro, son of a Ralian nobleman and Caethari Aeduria, son of Tithenai royalty—as they navigate a hastily arranged marriage and its political fallouts, a plot to murder one or both of them that may or may not involve magic, and demons from both of their pasts, all while trying to manage and articulate their real and growing affection for one another.

I should note at the outset of this review that the CW list for this book could constitute a review-length post in and of itself. <b>Major</b> CW include: graphic rape (this happens early in the book, so readers need to go into the story prepared), self-harm, physical/mental/sexual abuse, homo/transphobia, torture, and animal cruelty/death. There are almost certainly more. Suffice to say this book deals with <i>heavy</I> topics. Largely, though, they are handled well.

There is a lot to like about this book, as well as some things I wish had been given more careful attention. I’ll start with the good.

--The plot. Overall the plot kept me engaged. As I said above, the plot is part romance, part fantasy, and part murder-mystery, so there’s a little bit of everything for everyone. In addition to the main plots there were several side plots—including explorations into both Velasin’s and Caethari’s pasts—that layered emotional character complexity onto the more plot-driven elements of the story. There are a few reviews that state that the author "forgot" about the conspiracy-to-commit-murder part of the plot, but I didn't find that to be true at all. The pacing was largely fine and there was sufficient tension to keep me engaged throughout (even if I did correctly predict the ending pretty early on).

--The side characters. Lord, but I'm a sucker for compelling side characters. Markel was my favorite part of the entire book and if we could just go ahead and get a whole spinoff featuring him I'd be pleased. Yasa Kithadi was another interesting side character whom I would have liked to have seen more of. Caethari's former lover (the one thing that pains me about audiobooks is that I can't go back and look up names!) was also super compelling and fun. Overall (and more on this later) the side characters were complex and relatable in a way that Velasin and Caethari were sometimes not, and it was largely their presence that kept the story grounded at times.

--The representation. THE REPRESENTATION. Ralia (Velasin's home country) is horrible bigoted, and the country's aversion to anything that is not cis and male is a large part of what sets the entire plot in motion. Tithena (Cae's home country), by contrast, is open and acceptation of all genders and preferences, which makes for an interesting backdrop against which Velasin can finally learn to accept and love himself. There are so many queer characters in this series, and they are all handled respectfully and purposefully. In addition to the queer representation, there is an amazing representation of mutism, and sign language is treated <I>as it should be</I>--as a rich and complex language with its own grammar and rules and speech patterns. I <I>loved</I> every interaction between Markel and the main characters in no small part because of how his language was afforded equal space in the narrative.

Despite all of the things that I liked about the book, there were a few things that I didn't:

--The pacing (but only at times). As I said before I largely liked the book's pacing. But toward the end things did start to drag a bit. This was especially true once Vel and Cae finally consummated their marriage. <I>That</I> payoff was excellently sweet; but then... we kind of wallowed in marital bliss for a long... long... time. There were a few other sections of the book that could have benefited from a heavier editing hand. But overall the pacing is fine as long as you're willing to sit through a few portions of the book that drag on a beat too long.

--A subpoint to the above: I never did figure out why Velasin's chapters were in FPPOV and Caethari's chapters were in TPPOV. This was really jarring to me, and I can't imagine what purpose this narrative structure served.

--The main characters. Sigh. I did like them, actually, but not as much as I should have if they're trying to carry an entire novel. At times they were relatable, and I would be remiss if I didn't note that Vel's trauma is handled delicately and honestly. But beyond that, there was no... <I>tension</I>... in either of them. Reflecting on it, I think it's because they are both inherently <I>good</I>, and that's really the only personality trait either of them is given. Velasin is supposedly good at politics and Caethari is supposedly good at fighting, but neither of them really <I>displays</I> either of these talents at any point in the book. Mostly, it's just the two of them tiptoeing around and trying not to hurt one another for 400+ pages because they're both so good that hurting the other person would destroy them. Which... listen: I don't need all characters to be morally complex. But I do need them to have <I>some personality</I> beyond unerringly decent. Mostly the plot just happens <I>to</I> and <I>around</I> the main characters, and I wanted more depth if I was going to care very deeply about whether or not they make it out alive.

--The world-building. I can basically tell you nothing about either Ralia or Tithena after reading this book apart from the aforementioned fact that Ralia is full of bigots and Tithena is, apparently, not. I don't know what either country looks like. I don't know what season the story takes place in. I don't know what the buildings look like. I don't know how people earn a living. There was apparently a war between Ralia and Tithena at some point--<I>that Cae fought in--</I> and I don't know why. There is also, apparently, magic. But magic is apparently nbd to anyone so no one ever talks about it for 400+ pages, and then in the last 20 pages or so it becomes, out of nowhere, a <b>huge deal.</b> I can't say whether or not I'd actually want to visit this world again if there is ever a follow-up book, not because I didn't like it, but because I know almost nothing about it.

<b>Regarding the Audiobook</b>
The narrators both did quite well. I <I>think</I>, though I was never fully sure, that the narrators stuck to their own characters throughout, regardless of who was narrating each section. In other words, in Velasin's sections, the Caethari actor narrated Caethari's dialogue. The fact that I can't actually parse out whether or not this was the case is a credit to the actors themselves. They had sufficient range and depth that I enjoyed listening to both of them.

I ended up listening to most of the book at 1.5x, and I don't feel like I missed anything in terms of emotional depth or connection with the characters.

<b>Final Thoughts</b>

<u>A Strange and Stubborn Endurance</u> is a book that deals openly with complex issues of identity, personhood, and relationships. The content is, for the most part, handled with care, and apart from some character and pacing issues, this is a solidly good book.

Thanks to Macmillan Audio & NetGalley for the audio ARC of this book.

This book… phew. For starters, the content warnings weren’t joking: on-page rape early on, followed by more than one on-page suicide attempt were pretty heavy stuff. Yet that trauma was juxtaposed with this (honestly, kind of delightful) dual-POV romance where the two main characters fell in love. The two aspects were jarring and didn’t really seem to fit together well here.

The prose/word choice/language stood out, though I had to restart the audiobook twice just to get into the flow of it – I swear I felt like I ought to keep a thesaurus open in front of me at all times. I understand that the *voice* was meant to be elite, aristocratic, and well-educated, but it ended up pretty “purple”. Enjoyable, probably really lovely if you like that kind of thing, but it took me a bit to get into it. Quite a few invented terms, or perhaps it felt moreso because it was on audio.

I liked the world, or what we saw of it. I liked the diversity in terms of sexuality. I wasn't sure what to make of the hints of various cultures/cuisines/clothing blended together.

My opinion of this book is overwhelmingly coloured by my deep frustration with the ending. Vel (whom I felt had a lot more depth than Cae, who can be summed up as “nice guy who fought a bear once”) was made out to have character traits/strengths that led me to anticipate he’d use them in some cool political intrigue maneuvering way to solve the overarching problem. Instead, the author deus ex machina’d things in the most unbelievable way, and when I had picked my book up from across the room where I’d thrown it after reading that (metaphorically – I had the audiobook) they followed it up with a cartoon villain-esque explanation of how the dastardly plan had worked, including Q&A. It was so utterly unrealistic and disappointing. Please, authors, have your protagonist(s) solve the story problems by applying their strengths/characteristics/the character growth gained during the book... don’t have them accidentally bump into the antagonist mid-confession. Please?

Two-point-five stars, mostly for the moments of loveliness between the MCs.

Audiobook narrators did a good job; I could tell the difference between the various characters and internal monologues.