In a relatable opening, the author of I Am Ace shares experiences as an adolescent trying to figure themself out. Their inner life clearly diverted from that of allosexual peers, but they lacked any language to identify themself. Instead, the feeling of queerness led them to try on other labels that didn't quite suit them but seemed the best available. As the author embarks on a journey to help readers who might be early on in exploring what it means to be ace, I appreciate that they try to keep things straightforward when it comes to definitions and explanations while leaving space for readers to figure out what works for them. They remind us throughout to give ourselves room for uncertainty and change. There's also an upfront awareness that this is not a single, comprehensive resource-- not that one could exist.

An example of the author's clear writing I found especially helpful is their explanation of the split-attraction model. They go beyond just the most commonly talked about romantic and sexual attraction, listing and briefly encapsulating many more types that I was only vaguely aware of like: aesthetic, alterous, emotional, intellectual, and sensual attractions. It gave me a lot to think about in a good way. The author takes the same approach to presenting some common microlabels and differentiating between different feelings about participating in sexual behavior, from sex-positive and sex-neutral to sex-averse and sex-repulsed. They have a gift for presenting all these interlocking terms calmly and without putting pressure on the reader (though the reader could certainly do it to herself).

Other valuable sections of the book cover acephobia and the realities and possibilities of being an ace person in relationships. The author breaks down potential microaggressions to a) show why they exist and b) call them on their bullshit. The goal is to turn an isolating experience into something you're more prepared for. When tackling the challenges of seeking relationships, whatever type an ace person might want, the author notes, "Relationships are hard. Asexuality isn't." That was a bit ~too~ revelatory for me at the ripe old age of 31. The concept that communication about needs and boundaries isn't inherently more difficult because a person involved is ace? Hard to wrap my mind around. But it has the ring of inherent truth once you strip away the internalized acephobia that frames aceness as a burden. The real burden comes from other people (or ourselves) who have preconceived notions about aces, getting in the way of meaningful relationships that suit everyone involved.

This is a great primer for people who are new to considering ace identity. There are additional resources and examples listed for readers who want more, varied perspectives. Anything that doesn't work for a particular person can be ignored to focus on what does. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!

This book is a fantastic book for those unfamiliar, and very familiar with the Asexual identity. The authors social media posts and videos helped a lot in growing comfortable with my own identity. There is no one way to be Ace, and the diversity of this community is celebrated in this title.

Cody Daigle-Orians, the internet's own Ace Dad, provides a great overview of asexuality, the ace spectrum, and the human experience of being ace. As an adult asexual, I would suggest this primer for a younger audience, as it seems suited best for a younger adults in their late teens and early twenties.

This book answered a lot of questions for me on the depth of the ace spectrum. It also helped me find more about who I am and helped me find confidence in that.
I think this is a great book to recommend to someone who wants a beginning or shorter read on what the ace community is and what someone in the aspec would feel and experience.

How do we experience attraction?
What does love mean to us?
When did you realise you were ace?
These are such brilliant aspects of an alternative and positive approach to loving in a different way from societal norms.
Evocative, emotional and real.
Worth your time.

A bold and beautiful combination of personal experience and factual explanation from an older asexual, specifically one who was already familiar with the LGBTQ community for years past. Of the few asexual books published, I Am Ace stands out as an engaging and friendly introduction to the asexuality umbrella and gently leads the reader into new concepts while simultaneously providing reassurances that everyone experiences the world in their own way. The author doesn't try to serve as an authority on asexuality, but merely as a fellow asexual individual who followed his own path to discovery.

Books discussing being in the ace-spectrum is becoming more common and I love that. I Am Ace comes as another example of ace experiences and understanding for both the a-spec community and others.

The author brings great definitions and multiple experiences to support people on the a-spectrum and allo folks seeking to learn and understand more about how asexuality works. This book is also a great guide for those coming into their asexuality and trying to understand themselves better.

Thanks for this book!

Love seeing ace books. Diverse, educational and fun. Exactly what the community needs to become more engaging and understandable. I loved this book.

As someone who identifies on the asexual spectrum, Cody's videos came scrolling across my Twitter feed a while ago and their words completely resonated with me. When I first heard they were writing a book, I knew I wanted to support them in any way I could. I requested the book on NetGalley and was actually approved, but the book was archived before I had a chance to download the e-arc, so I had to wait until release day to actually get my hands on it. Well, several months after release, but I did get around to ordering a signed copy from Cody and sat down to read one of my most anticipated non-fiction releases of 2023.

I think 2023 has been the year of aromantic and asexual non-fiction, because I've read several. They each bring something new to the table, explore different aspects of these spectrums and the identities of the individuals who fall on them, and all have their strengths and weaknesses. I think where Cody's book shines is that it focuses solely on asexuality - it is key to mentioning how asexuality and aromanticism can be linked, and often are, but they don't have to be. It also balances advice with statistics with personal anecdotes, so it never feels like you're reading a textbook but it still feels like you're learning something new, whether about your own personal identity or asexuality as a whole. I think this book is perfect for allies who are starting their journey towards learning about the asexual spectrum and individuals who have even slightly considered asking themselves the question "hm, what if I'm not straight?" As someone more confident in their ace identity then I have been in previous years, I think this would have been an ideal read for me figuring out my sexual orientation, but that doesn't mean there wasn't plenty for me to gain from reading this book.

As always, Cody's words made me feel less alone in my ace identity, and now they've given me a book that I can look back on any time I need a little bit of advice from Ace Dad. Looking forward to supporting Cody in anything they do in the future. Highly recommend picking up "I Am Ace," as it's a great resource from anybody questioning their space on the ace spectrum, or those who want a good place to start learning about how to be an ally to the community.

I’ve read a lot of books on asexuality over the last year - and to an extent, I feel like most of them have had the same things to say in slightly different ways. Don’t get me wrong: I love that asexuality is finally getting an explosion of representation. And I’m very glad to see such consistently high-quality introductory texts. (It’s hard for me to imagine a baby ace choosing the wrong book to explore their sexuality at this point.) But it does make reviewing them a challenge.

If I could pinpoint one place where I Am Ace shines, I think it’s in the way that the advice presented can so easily be expanded to include any sort of queer identity. Yes, it focuses on asexuality and spends a lot of time in the beginning defining related terms. But it also examines the problems inherent in choosing a “forever label” when life is anything but static. It talks about the challenges in coming out. It normalizes mixed orientation relationships. It walks the reader through expanding their definition of “intimacy” and having those conversations with partners. All concepts that I wish were common knowledge.

So yes, I Am Ace is very introductory and the language definitely feels aimed at adolescents. But it strikes a perfectly delicate balance between supporting all individuals on the journey of questioning their identity - while still prioritizing the ace community within their experiences. And what a wonderful way to impact the world!

Dear Reader,
Now I don’t review Non-Fiction books very often, but this book holds a special place for me. I’ve followed @acedadadvice on Instagram for a few years and I was extremely excited to read this book!
Thanks to Netgalley for my review copy – this review contains my honest opinions.
At its most basic level, I Am Ace is a help book – a guide to exploring Asexuality. It’s broken down into sections which make it a manageable read, and a useful tool in helping someone think about their sexuality.
The writing is fab – as it's written by an author who actually is on the asexuality spectrum the book feels really authentic and reflective of the lived experiences of an asexual person. I also really loved how the book included both alloromantic and aromantic experiences as well as asexual ones therefore not assuming romantic orientation.
It starts at the basic level and builds to more complex ideas and advice for ace people. What I think is most useful for non-asexual readers is the definitions and explanations of the different terms that the book goes into. This was super helpful even as a queer and ace person myself.
This book really hit home for me – and I think it's going to be one of the few digital review books I’ve read that I’m going to buy a physical copy of. I’ve had lots of mental blocks about my queer identity and I Am Ace really tapped into a lot of those and had some brilliant affirmations too. If you’re an Ace person, I would definitely recommend this to help you understand more about yourself and provide some community in a heterosexual/romance-centred world.
I would thoroughly recommend this book to everyone – if you’ve ever wondered what asexuality is, or never heard of it, or if you think it’s not “real” sexuality. Both non-asexuals and asexuals can learn something from this book. Also, please follow @acedadadvice if you don’t already – it’s a fantastic account!
Happy Reading! x

So good! As an allosexual, I learned a lot about asexuality and what it means for people. Highly recommend for anyone wanting to learn more!

I really enjoyed this book. It gave such a great inside to the world of Ace and the aspects to it. The information given in the book really helped me learn so much more about asexual and understand all the different sub types. Cody really explains it all in such a simple and understanding manner while also brining across so much useful info. I can definitely recommend this one if you are interested in learning more about asexuality.

I loved this book! Very well thought out and researched, covering a lot of the facets of queer identities. Highly recommended!

This comprehensive guide to asexuality is a wonderful resource! As society learns new terms and labels with which to identify, it is so important to have books like Cody's - well-considered, well-researched, and communicated in a way that feels comforting and cozy. Bringing the Ace Dad Advice feeling into a book is accomplished masterfully!

This was a great intro for learning about asexuality! From someone who is on the ace spectrum and is trying to read anything and everything they can find about the ace spectrum this is a great tool! And I can't wait to recommend to other people in my life who are interested in learning more or are maybe even curious about if they are asexuality.

A fantastic little book exploring and explaining different terms and concepts related to asexuality- as someone on the ace-spectrum myself, it was validating to read and very accessible.

This is the book I wish I had when I was figuring out I’m ace. It’s a gentle guide for working out if you’re somewhere on the asexual spectrum, grappling with that, navigating existing relationships or starting new ones, how to establish boundaries for sexual and physical intimacy, and how to engage with queer community. It acknowledged that sometimes is sucks to exist in a society that doesn’t easily welcome asexuality, but it’s also filled with the hope and joy of living while ace. It's a book that leaves you feeling like you're in kind, safe hands.

One thing that niggled me is it was very focused on the ace experience of ‘feeling wrong or different from everyone else,’ and I would have like to have seen it articulated that sometimes that’s not every asexual’s experience of moving through the world. (Me, I’m talking about me.) However it is understandable since the book is framed through the author’s personal experience, and that was how it felt to him. But there was a ton of stuff that was very validating, and I think this is an excellent introductory book for people who are questioning, people who know they are ace but want to go over the basics, and everyone else who would like a glimpse into asexual experiences.

This is probably the quickest I've ever gotten through a non-fiction book, which is 100% meant as a compliment. The book is extremely accessible, with a clear, pleasant writing style, that's concise and to the point. I have personally been out as aroace for a few years now, so I didn't really read any new to me information, but I think this is a really good introduction to asexuality, especially if you're questioning, and a great starting point before you read more in-depth works, like Ace by Angela Chen.

I Am Ace is a fantastic book for aces and their partners, families and friends, questioning folks and other humans In their world. Cody walks through being Ace in the world, compulsory sexuality expectations, attractions vs. actions, exploring asexuality as a feature not a flaw, aces in relationships, and more. The book works hard on normalizing the presence of asexuality.