I couldn't get through this title. It ended up not being for me, but I hope it finds a hope with other readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

A pretty good book but I have to disagree with her statements about the difficulty in taking the pill. It's not hard to remember to take a pill every night. People do it all the time with other maintenance medications. I'm not talking about side effects - that's something else. Also, she talks about the visit to the gyno to get the pill and how invasive it is. If you're sexually active you should be having these visits yearly regardless of whether you're getting the pill or not. And if she's experiencing that with her doctor visit, it's time to find a new doctor.

I loved the clear way the information was presented here, although it was light on text. The only caveat is the use of WebMD as a cited source of medical information. Hard no. It is sponsored by the pharmaceutical industry.

Gabrielle Blair is a goddess. I started following her on Twitter and knew I needed to read this. She is spot on in her assessment. I recommend this book to others constantly.

Great, little book! Blair discusses in detail a new framework for how to think about, discuss, and deal with unwanted pregnancies placing the onus on men rather than women. Her arguments are well thought out, straight forward, and made a big impact on me despite having spent a lot of time thinking and reading about reproductive health and abortion.

A really important and timely book given the shocking rulings and events in the USA recently. Whatever side of the argument you land on, read this book, as it will open your eyes to fundamental arguments on the subject. I loved how the book was divided into concise arguments so you could dip in and out to whichever you fancied reading. A great read, really important and eye-opening

This book should be given to students starting college, boy scouts, girl scouts, and anyone who thinks that abortion is a women's issue. The argument the author makes is persuasive, and I highly recommend this! Will be buying a copy for myself and any young men in my life moving forward.

This is an incredibly timely and important piece of work surrounding abortion rights and where responsibility for preventing pregnancy should lay.

Though I consider myself to be very liberal in my beliefs, this small book showed me my own internalized misogyny. My kneejerk reaction to some of the arguments made was "that's too dramatic, women need to take more responsibility" . . . which made me realize that's the whole point of this discussion. It does need to be flipped on its head and the other (read: male) party needs to take more responsibility. It's very eye-opening to see my own biases.

Honestly, I might even go out and buy myself a copy of this book because there were so many instances where I wanted to highlight an argument or sentence just to remind myself how important it was.

The basis of the arguments are solid, but I wanted interviews with actual men and women to reinforce the statements. It'd make everything much more sound, especially when these arguments are written from a female point of view. The book also would be better served to have the sources cited at the moment it's mentioned or have the citations so readers can immediately look them up in the back as they're reading.
In the ebook, all it listed was a link to the full sources, which seemed like an unnecessary extra step.

Required reading for everyone. Basic information from Blair about preventing abortions by being smart about how men ejaculate.

Those who are in the fight for choice and for abortion access will know this already, but it is still a fantastic read.

Wow, this book was an absolute eye-opener! So many brilliant thoughts were condensed into this short book. Insightful and with great potential to discuss!

This short book takes into account men’s responsibility in unplanned pregnancy. All pregnancies are caused by men, as they are the ones who are fertile the most, 24 hours a day. Women are only fertile 24 hours a month and it’s unpredictable. Blair breaks down her argument into 28 arguments with facts to back them up. She also makes a point that pregnancy and childbirth aren’t safe, like so many men think they are (#19). Don’t forget that society keeps pushing this thought that men don’t like condoms (#7). I think this book is good for all collections of people who want to reframe the arguments around abortion. She even has an argument against adoption being a response to abortion (#22). The arguments here make a compelling argument to look at men’s responsibility to all pregnancies, but changing society’s view that it’s only women who have this responsibility to control pregnancy is going to be an uphill battle. Men need to step up and do their part.

Ok, for those men out there who DO ejaculate responsibly, THANK YOU. This book is NOT an attack against anyone, but it can come across as annoying or worse to those men who ARE responsible in what they do with their baby causing bodily fluids.

Now, as for the men who are NOT responsible about where they shoot their baby-making bodily fluids.

You are 100% of the time able to make a woman pregnant. Women are only fertile 5 days out of the month. So why is the burden to not get pregnant almost always carried by the woman and not the man AND the woman? Yes, I know, I know. Because she is the one left holding the bag for nine months literally and beyond if she gets preggers. However, the man has a part to play in her getting preggers too.

The author is not anti-baby and she isn't trying to push abortion in either direction, she just came up with the unique thought, "What is abortion at it's crux? It's ending an unwanted pregnancy. So how do we avoid unwanted pregnancies? Have the man be an active part of the pregnancy prevention before sex ever occurs."

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, though I would add that the medical system needs a HUGE overhaul too, as evidenced by my story to follow.

She breaks down multiple reasons why the guy should care about pregnancy prevention, including the health of his partner. It's less stress on him and his body to get a vasectomy than for her to get a tubal ligation and The Pill, while a miracle IMHO, also has it's drawbacks, such as MUCH worse clotting potential than the J&J COVID-19 vaccine. Like, it's KILLED women, almost killed my BFF and me and who knows how many other women, all to not get pregnant when we weren't ready for it.

Also, re: vasectomy vs tubal ligation, here's a fun story.

Ever since I was 15 through til about my mid-30s, I have asked MULTIPLE OBGYNs, both male and female, to get my tubes ted.

I was refused EACH TIME.

I was told that "You are too young" Ok, 15 is a bit young, but if 6 year olds can decide they are a different gender than what they were born as, why can't a 15 year old decide they don't want kids and do something to their body about it? And how was I "too young" in my 20s or higher? If I can legally drink, smoke, drive and fight/kill/die for my country, why can't I have control over my own body regarding reproduction?

I was told "You might change your mind, what if you meet a man in the future who you want to have kids with?" Basically, they were saying, even when I said I would sign a waiver, that I didn't know my own mind, that I was too stupid to know what I really wanted, that THEY knew better than I did about my own reproduction.

I was told "you have to have at least two children, be in a relationship and have the man agree to your tubes being tied before we can do that to you." So let me get this straight, I have to have two kids I don't want so I can not have more and I NEED to be with a MAN who is basically getting the right to say it's ok I won't have more kids?!? What sort of MESSED UP SH*T is THAT?!?!? (FYI, I STILL have no children. Not against kids, they are a blessing, I just never had the urge to have my own. I am 100% open to fostering, adoption and if a gentleman I meet has kids, I just didn't and still don't want biological children of my own.)

And this book points out I am NOT the only one that has happened to.

Has ANY man been told "no" when he said he wanted a vasectomy? So why can MEN have total control over their bodies and women CAN'T???

So if you hear someone saying "my body my choice" about abortion or changing their gender physically, let them know it goes DEEPER than that. Let them know they need to fight for the right for women to have the power to decide if they want tubal ligations or not. That women need the right to make decisions about their reproduction THEMSELVES and not a system that is biased against women.

Tubal ligations aren't perfect BUT I'm sure it reduces the requests for abortions.

We need to teach all genders how to prevent unwanted pregnancies and encourage them to do so. To have responsible sex. Then abortions, which are hard on the woman physically, mentally and emotionally, will be much less needed. I think women get it mostly, but men need to be on the same page. We need open discussion about sex and the repercussions before men and women are in the bedroom, before it's too late and abortion is the only option.

This book is amazing and needs to be on every school reading list, on everyone's short TBR. It needs to be discussed calmly and with real thought and not devolve into a shouting match.

If you are pro-abortion, the fact that women are being denied something even MORE important, tubal ligations which would negate the need for many abortions, should make this basic right that men get and women are denied, become a HUGE item on your agenda. The men who are pro-abortion need to recognize their role in creating unwanted pregnancies and be willing to put their money where their mouth is and actually actively DO something to prevent the pregnancies they are 100% behind terminating.

If you are anti-abortion, ejaculating responsibly should be something you are 100% behind, because every prevented unwanted pregnancy is one less abortion you are fighting against. Ditto letting women have tubal ligations if they so choose and teaching boys who become men how to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place.

Abortion ISN'T the issue, men AND women being responsible AND able to make reproductive decisions BEFORE pregnancy IS. This books makes that stunningly clear.

5, this blew my mind and it need to blow everyone's mind, stars. I can't recommend this book enough.

My thanks to NetGalley and Workman Publishing Company for an eARC copy of this book to read and review.

Required reading for all!!! A major reframing of abortion issue in post- Roe America. This book is highly accessible , funny and poignant . Blair outlines her arguments of why men should be responsible for preventing unwanted pregnancies in 28 brief arguments.

This book was absolutely incredible. If you have an opinion on the conversation of abortion access and abortion rates in the United States, this is a must read. Though I have my own (very) firm opinion on the matter of access, I appreciated that Blair did not explicitly emphasize her own stance or pass judgment on someone's opinion of that matter. Instead, the focus is placed on an overall reduction of the need for abortion by refocusing the conversation on the other half of the biological party that causes a pregnancy. I can't say I've ever consumed a work that has so firmly and exclusively focused on how men contribute to this issue and could also quite easily reduce the problem with simple actions.

A Note: Blair uses traditional definitions of the terms man & woman in this work. She began the book with a disclaimer explaining her reasoning for this. I appreciated this disclosure and was still able to enjoy the points made and understood that this semantic simplicity allowed her to more clearly expound on her points. However if you would like to avoid works that function under a gender binary, this may not be the one for you.

It's about time we called ejaculators in on the subject of abortion instead of just destroying egg holders over it. And that's what this book does. Anyone who has ever opened their mouth on the subject of abortion should be required to read this book.

Very solidly put together and well written. Thanks Gabrielle, I'm super glad I pre-ordered this to keep on my shelf even though I got a free copy from Netgalley also in exchange for an honest review. If I had the money I'd send copies to everyone.

Considering the current context surrounding abortion, I was immediately drawn to this book when I was what this was about. I have to say, I went in not knowing anything about the author, but I had very high expectations after reading the summary.
I believe books like these are extremely important and it's great to see more of them pop up these days. Though there were a few things that did bother me (which I'll dive into later).
This was a difficult read. An important one, but difficult nonetheless. It pushes you to confront the limitations of our societies, and how we're still living in 2022 in a profoundly patriarchal and sexist world. It's hard to face the reality of the situation and be like "ok, so what do we do now", especially considering recent events.

What I did like:
- The premise of this book is as follows: if you want to reduce abortions, you need to act earlier, and actually teach men how to be responsible beings. Sex education, in the US yes but also worldwide need to be done more efficiently and more globally!
- The want to destigmatize contraceptive measures, and more specifically condom use!
- Highlighting the prejudice certain doctors can have agaisnt women under 35 wanting to have their tubes tied was really interesting! We have the same issue here in France, and that's something we need to fight against.
- It does feel a bit biaised and like some shortcuts were taken so that the arguments can be more impactful.
- The importance of demystifying childbirth and parenting. This book says it like it is. Childbirth and parenting are not always rainbows and sunshine. It's important to know what you're getting into.
- I appreciate the mention of how much riskier childbirth is for Black women. I would have appreciated a more detailed paragraph about it, but it is nice that minorites aren't forgotten here.


What I didn't enjoy :
Before I go into details for this one, I have a couple of disclaimers. As a med student who studies obstetrics and gynecology and interned in an OB department, I do feel like I may be biaised sometimes. And as a French female, I do read about the US, but I'm clearly not an expert and I compare a lot with our health care here in France. Now that these are out of the way, here are a few things that bothered me:
- The different sources were not quoted all along the book. There's a link at the end of it, but it's a shame there's not more transparency for some of the arguments. Sometimes, it felt like statistics or arguments were coming out of nowhere and were immediately considered as a given.
- Trans people are not a part of this book. They're only mentioned in the beginning just to say that they will be excluded from the arguments. It is really is a shame. Trans people are almost always from these discussions and it's just getting tiresome not seeing them in these. I understand that it may take more work, more research, but it feels wrong to exclude them completely, without giving them any resources.
- The argument that vasectomies are safer and cheaper than birth control for women : vasectomies are a surgical act, and it feels like surgeries are banalised here, which is dangerous in my opinion. A surgery is not nothing. And reverse vasectomies are not as common as we're lead to believe in the book. Plus the fact that it's cheaper is not a guarantee. Everyone can't afford to go to a clinic or a hospital and pay for a surgery at once. The narrator does say that health insurances WILL reimbursed the act more in the coming years. But we have absolutely no idea if it will actually be the case.
- Banking sperm is also extremely banalised by the book. She says that vasectomies can be reversed all the time, but still, if you're scared, you can easily bank your sperm. Banking sperm is an extremely costly process. Again, not everyone can afford it.

I will finish this review by saying that I DO recommend reading this book. If only for the deep thinking it pushes you do. However, it's important to be critical throughout the book.

Star rating : I generally do not rate non fiction books, but since it is required to do so here, I've decided to give it a 3 star rating, since I do think it is worth the read, but there were several points that bothered me.

A persuasive and powerful argument. I've been a fan of this way of thinking since I first read Design Mom's viral twitter thread. I hope this changes the conversation our society is having about abortion.

However, I wish this had been more gender inclusionary. Besides a note at the beginning, this book doesn't address trans people. I understand the tactical reason for the heteronormative language, but ultimately disagree with the choice.

The sections in second person were actually quite effective and I think more of this could have been written in that style, and it would have somewhat solved the issue of the non-inclusive language.

I thought it was odd not to have footnotes or a bibliography included and instead just a link to a website for the sources. Once again, a tactical choice that I understand but don't agree with.

I could not put this book down. I have been wanting to read it since I heard of it on the author’s IG a while back. The thesis of Ejaculate Responsibly is that 100% of unwanted pregnancies are caused by men and their sperm. The current conversation about women and abortion is completely backwards. There are safe, inexpensive, and less invasive contraceptives available to men—condoms and vasectomies-- that if used would nearly eliminate unwanted pregnancies resulting in abortions. The current societal norm of putting the responsibility completely on the shoulders of women to prevent unwanted pregnancies is ridiculous. Women cannot control what time of the month their egg is fertilized. Most birth control options for women are hormones with extensive side effects. IUD installations are often painful yet not administered with pain killers the way vasectomies are for men. Tubal ligations have many side effects with a long recovery involved. Men have complete control of where and when they ejaculate, with very few repercussions if they choose irresponsibly. This book should be required reading and a part of sexual education in the United States—along with free and accessible contraception for all.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Before the arguments/chapters start, there is a note on the language used. The author warns that the focus of the book is on “cisgender heterosexual relationships” and acknowledges that applying inclusive language for queer, trans, and nonbinary people would actually erase their experiences. I took this as the author admits she has zero authority or right to write about queer, trans, and nonbinary experiences and I completely agree with that. I hope in the future there is a book with a similar or exact (I can’t judge if it would fully work or not) premise from the perspective of queer, trans, and nonbinary people. Honestly, their perspective is deeply needed for discussions about unwanted pregnancies and abortion.

A quick read that’s informative with arguments that build on top of each other. At points, I had questions about the author’s line of thinking, and a few chapters later, those questions would be answered. There’s a lot of stuff that could be included such as historical records and/or thinking, but I’m not sure if it would bog down the book.

The sources the author used are listed on the publisher’s website. It was noted that the reference list would be as long as the book itself. On one hand, I understand wanting to keep it compact, but on the other, I really wish the references were in the book itself.

Overall, the book could act as a companion piece of actual sex education, especially in the United States.

Absolutely loved this book! I think it needs to be read by everyone. I'll be buying copies for our library for sure.