Perla is a Filipino American with a clear dream. Well, at least it's clear to her family, study hard, get into Delmont, go to med school, work alongside her month as a dermatologist. After skipping a few grades, she's ready to start her college career at the age of 16. There's just one thing, Delmont doesn't want her.

With no safety schools or other options, Perla makes a very rash decision - lying about her acceptance. Lying again. And again. And again. Forging paperwork, squatting in dorm rooms, living off of granola bars, accumulating debt and auditing classes. Her whole life is a lie. She's even lying to herself, believing that all this is really worth it, believing that Delmont is really what she wants.

This book is not a thriller. THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL STATEMENT is realistic fiction. Like most things in life, Perla's lies snowball in a slow, incremental way. And like real life, it cumulates not with some big revelation, but the slow acknowledgement of what we've known all along.

The story here isn't the actions Perla takes to pretend to be a Delmont student. The real story is the relationships she makes and breaks along the way, the self she finds, the freedom of being away from home, and the limitations of living a secret. THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL STATEMENT belongs in the hands of teen and new adult reads who want (or need) a catalyst for reflecting on the expectations put on them by society, their culture, family, and themselves.

Possibly the most stressful book I have ever read. I was torn between wanting the main character to get away with her scheme and having her face consequences. Regardless, as a high school senior applying to colleges right now from my competitive California school, I did see a lot of reality in this.

Thank you to NetGalley, HarperCollins Children's Books, and Quill Tree Books for the e-ARC to read and review. First of all- THAT COVER!!! Also, this is an absolutely amazing premise for a YA book, and I was really drawn in to the high-stakes world of what's resting on teens' top college acceptances. I think this story asks a great question, what extremes would you go to if you didn't get into the school of your dreams --- the one your entire family is pressuring you towards, where your friends are competing with you, and where you're starting to rest your self-worth? Our main character, Perla, is 16 years old, has skipped a few grades, and has always been one of those exceptional-for-her-age geniuses that works hard to her academic success route. Then she, for whatever reason, doesn't get into her top college, so she lies to her parents and forges some documents to get herself there anyway. She plots out everything she'll need to stay under-the-radar until she can reapply, from the room she'll squat in, to the surface-level friends she'll make to keep her tangled story alive.

I'd be hooked on this concept, except I kept waiting for this story to turn into a thriller (like what will happen to her if her lies are found out, or how can she stay one step ahead?) or a really damning look at many students' college realities (like, are campuses that secure if this could happen? and there are plenty of houseless students around the world trying to keep up with jobs and classes and sneaking in naps at libraries who aren't part of an elaborate lying scheme.) I kept thinking, Perla was doing so much outright criminal activity along the way (like forgery, impersonation, fraudulent credit card stuff, breaking into dorms, etc.) that was being glossed over as just part of her college plan! I think that's why I was waiting for a thiller twist, that like this lie to her parents gradually warped into something beyond appeasing family expectations. She was also super cold in her interactions with people, who she consistently saw as only means to an end -- like she was memorizing how to interact with others, and consistently looking down on others for their academic choices when she literally didn't get into any school -- and I thought it may be a great chance to explore that side of her personality. I definitely wanted to see some bigger stakes or consequences along the way, or a really big confrontation/robust ending to this story, and I'm not sure all of my built-up expectations were satisfied.

This YA Contemporary is the definition of high-stakes! Perla's struggling with perfection and shedding off her high-school identity is incredibly relatable, and coupled with the pressure of having to live a double life on campus, I was on the edge of my seat during the entire read! With the pressure so high it almost felt like part heist novel, which made it VERY hard to put this down.