My Government Means to Kill Me is a solid 3 at the start. When Trey finds his purpose, it approaches 5.

It reads "new adult", and could be a great introduction to 80s AIDS activism for younger generations.

Roughly an hour in to this audiobook I had to stop and check on the categories for this book - this novel really tows the line between nonfiction & fiction. If you told me this was a memoir I would accept it wholeheartedly. Yet it is sad to think that a text so fraught could be true.....welcome to the United States of America the last 70-80 years. I also didn't expect some of the content here - it is not spicy per-say but it is graphic so that is something to keep in mind with this book. I have read several reviews that say to buy this for everyone in your life. I agree that this tackles some really important issues and it does so with a ton of soul and characters you want to root for but based on the amount of graphic content I can't say this will be for everyone and that is okay! This is coming from a spicy romance reader so I'm not being prudish just realistic. Though there is something to be said for putting ourselves in uncomfortable and different reading situations so that we may expand our knowledge and empathy. My Government Means to Kill Me is a queer coming of age, that is blessedly shameless in its execution, it deals with the AIDS crisis, journeys to public activism, explores how sometimes finding a means to an end is not always the best answer, how when you deal with poverty and racism sometimes a win is not really a win when you explore other implications simply due to how everyone is dealing with different intersections problems and circumstances and identities. No two humans have the same story so how do we move towards something that could be best for all? Or for a majority? What majority gets chosen most often and how can we fix that? Rasheed Newson truly tackles so much here and it was done so well. The ending moved just a little too fast for me, hence the 4-stars BUT I cannot wait to see what Newson writes next.
A note for the audiobook: Jelani Alladin was a fantastic narrator! I think his voice and choices were one of the things to confuse me in the beginning - they speak in a way that feels intimate and distinct so this read like a memoir the whole time. I will be on the lookout for more of their work.

This audiobook was well narrated and I really felt immersed in the storyline. The subjects that were spoken about were sometimes rough to hear but i think its important these stories be told.

Narration: 5 Stars
Story: 5 Stars

"The point is to let your bruised and bloodied bodies serve as evidence that the government means to kill you, if you so much as protest its bigoted policies."

This, right here, is a powerhouse debut - hilarious, heartbreaking, poignant, sexy, and thought-provoking, this is easily my favorite book of the year thus far!

I loved the way this story was told - it's divided up into different lessons, rather than chapters, lessons like "a sanctuary can be a sordid place" & "victory can be a thorny crown", & is presented in an autobiographical way from the perspective of Trey, a young, gay Black man in NYC in the 1980's. It was fascinating seeing how Newson wove real life queer & non-queer historical figures & events throughout - I can't stress enough how much I enjoyed the footnotes, which provided a little more context into specific moments within the story (the physical book is a must). Newson's writing was phenomenal, I'm surprised at just how much he was able to pack in a book that's just under 300 pgs. Amongst other important topics this covered activism, Blackness, the HIV/AIDS crisis, misogyny, queerness, privilege, & racism - not only are you given an amazing story, you're provided with an opportunity to learn more about people & events often shadowed throughout history. & I can't finish this review off without giving a huge standing ovation for our audiobook narrator, Jelani Alladin - what a performance, he really made these characters & this story come to life!

I highly recommend grabbing both a physical & audio copy upon release next week, trust me when I say this is story you don't want to miss! & thank you so much Rasheed Newson, NetGalley & Macmillan Audio for providing an ALC in exchange for a honest review!

✨ Review ✨ My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson; Narrated by Jelani Alladin

I loved this book -- it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think.

Set in mid-1980s NYC, it follows Trey, a black gay newcomer, to the city as he carves out a space for himself, filled with anonymous bathhouse sex and a range of new friendships. As the book goes on, he leads a somewhat successful rent strike, begins volunteering at a home hospice for gay men dying of HIV/AIDS, and joins ACT UP.

Admittedly this blended an assortment of niche historical interests of mine which definitely colors my love of this book, it also brings a really impactful narrative of a single fictional character in ways that helped me understand angles of these historical narratives I hadn't previously considered (e.g. Trey comes to the city in the midst of the AIDS crisis but isn't initially impacted as he hasn't yet lost people he'd loved).

The book seems to be impeccably researched, and brings in real life personalities like Larry Kramer and Bayard Rustin. At times, it almost read more like a memoir than fiction -- I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't real. Upon searching the author, I was shocked to find that he wasn't writing based on his own memory of this time and place.

Perhaps, what I loved most is that the book did not hold back in its writing to be more palatable or to make people more comfortable. As the title suggests, the book identifies the racism, homophobia, and other factors that aided HIV/AIDS in ravaging gay and marginalized communities in the 1980s -- pointing to politicians, the FDA, pharmaceutical companies, and beyond, the book calls it as it sees it, and I appreciated that.

There were some places where the story didn't entirely resolve and a confusing "voice commentary from the present" that through me off, but overall I found this book to be incredibly moving and impactful, and recommend it as a way to learn more about this time and these topics.

Also, the audio narration was incredible - emotional and powerful throughout.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre: historical fiction; queer fiction
Location: 1980s NYC
Pub Date: out now

Thanks to MacMillan Audio and #netgalley for an advanced audio copy of this book!

Earl “Trey” Singleton III, born into a wealthy Black Indianapolis family, leaves home to escape his overbearing family and their expectations of him. Trey comes to NYC and a vibrant cast of characters instantly enter his life and change his life forever. While processing his own past and trying to figure out the meaning of life, Trey volunteers at a rouge home hospice for AIDS patients and is put to the test to be part of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP).

Wow. Wowowowowowowowow - this book.

I think it’s taken me so long to write this review because I can’t really begin to capture how poignant, powerful, raw, impactful, and important this book truly is. I read this back in August, right when I took students on a walking tour of LGBTQIA+ history in the West Village, and haven’t really been able to stop thinking about it.

The book is set in the 1980s and this really sets the stage for the title and subsequent story, especially since Trey is a Black gay man in the US. I had shivers while reading parts of this book, knowing the history of the AIDS crisis, specifically in NYC.

Truly, Newson is a powerful voice and this is a book you didn’t realize how much you needed until you pick it up. It’s a coming of age story any queer person should read, probably at multiple points within their life, and any (budding) ally should read too. Get this one in everyone’s hands ASAP! 🌈

Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for the ALC of this novel in exchange for a review. This novel released on Aug. 23, 2022.

I loved this book. It read like the memoir of a grown man who came into political activism in New York in the 1980s during the AIDS epidemic. There was so much insight into that time and history being shared that at times it was hard to distinguish fact from fiction. I enjoyed listening to this book about the lives of queer black men in 1980s New York as it was a time and place I knew nothing about. But not only was the setting interesting, the story about activism, family, and secrets was also captivating and kept me listening and engaged.

The reader's voice was easy to listen to and perfect for the serious nature of the story while still conveying Trey's emotions and experiences.

MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME by @rasheed.newson.author is an incredible, queer, coming-of-age novel that I am so happy I decided to take a chance on. Thank you to @netgalley and @macmillanaudio for the Audio-ARC.

Earl "Trey" Singleton III was born to an affluent family in Indianapolis, but when he moves to NYC to ignore his parents and their oppressive expectations while denouncing his own inheritance. He becomes entwined with the various queer rights communities that thrived in 1980s NYC including ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) and an illegally run home hospice for gay men besotted by the disease that attempts to give them a death with dignity.

As he becomes engrossed in the lives and struggles of the young, often impoverished queer community members, Trey grows into his own ideas of self, community and identity. There are twists and turns that are not expected and incredibly heart-wrenching scenes and by the end of the book I felt like I had learned and grown right along with Trey. The narrator, @jelanialladin really drove me to the feels as he told Trey's story with a passionate, fierce and fearless voice.

Read this one if you like queer history, found family, relationship struggles, coming of age and the joy and heartache of finding yourself.

I am a huge fan of coming of age novels of all kinds and this one did not disappoint!

I wanted to love this novel! I love the title, and I love the idea of hearing from a gay black man about his life in AIDs-panicked New York City during the 1980s when all the bath houses were being shut down. (I lived there then, too, not that I had the first idea about what was happening then.) But the tone was so pedantic that I could never quite suspend disbelief and immerse myself in the life of the novel; it felt the whole time like I was being lectured. Here's an example:

"Closing the bath houses passed for prudent public policy for average straight people and assimilationist queers, but it was a moralistic act of oppression." That is not a line one expects in a novel, particularly as it is being recounted from the point of view of a 17-year-old gay boy who has yet to develop his political chops.

Despite this, I kept going with the novel, and it did get better, with fewer lectures and more story-telling, but I still kept losing interest. This was especially disappointing since the reviews call the novel "unputdownable" and "riveting." None of the characters seemed worth investing my energy in (because the main character himself didn't invest energy in any of them, passing through friends and lovers alike they were all just Kleenex: pluck one out of the box and another one pops up to take its place). The main character himself seems young, selfish and entitled, though as this is a coming-of-age novel, I was glad to see him becoming more caring as the novel progressed and he became involved with political action and volunteer organizations. Still felt like too little too late. Plus, as the podcast Please Read It To Me's Andy: The Avid Listener says, "Trey is a firm anti-hero," who by the novel's end has become "a user and manipulator." As I already thought that's what he was earlier in the novel, I shudder to think how bad he became .

I also had problems with a lot of what seemed like real-life memory that gave lie to the idea that this was a novel, such as a memory of a violent man with whom the main character hooked up who turned out to be a serial killer or a rent strike he won against Fred Trump, and these moments, too, took me out of the novel to wonder if it were really a barely disguised autobiography. Eventually, I drifted away from it often enough that it expired on my device and I didn't get to finish it, and I just didn't like it enough to try to find it through some other source.

So my final rating is meh, with apologies to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio, who generously provided me with an advance-reader copy of the audio book, ably narrated by Jelani Alladin, who just couldn't make soup out of bones.

I have since learned that Rasheed Newson is a popular television writer, that this is his first novel, and that many of the scenes he wrote that involve famous people are fiction; that he didn't actually meet that famous AIDS activist at a sex party, that he didn't actually participate in a rent strike against Fred Trump, etc. I appreciate even more, then, what he tried to do here, but it just didn't work as a fully realized novel for me.

I didn’t like this one and I really should have but I just didn’t like it I think it was me there’s a lot going on in my life right now but who knows

Earl “Trey” Singleton III was born to a wealthy black family in Indianapolis, but at 18, he runs away to New York City to join others living their as openly gay men. However, this is the 1980s, and the AIDS epidemic is running rampant. He spends his nights at a gay men’s bath house and through a contact there, starts spending his days volunteering at a rogue home hospice for AIDS patients. Eventually, he becomes a member of the AIDS Coalition to Unlease Power (ACT UP).

This fictional memoir is very powerful, and it makes me want to read more about the people who actually lived through this crisis. Newson weaves real events and people into this historical fiction and includes footnotes to help those who aren’t familiar with the events. Jelani Alladin did an excellent job narrating the audiobook. A brilliant debut book!

Many thanks to NetGalley for providing me an audio ARC of this book.

I’ve been debating how to review this book since I finished it because how much I enjoyed it. It’s a fiction that reads like a memoir about an 18 year old gay kid trying to survive New York in the 80’s. My Government Means To Kill Me shows the classism, homophobia, racism and other societal issues that black gay men had to deal with. Especially during the AIDS crisis at the time, this book showed how hard it was to simply survive day to day. It had a good mix of heart wrenching and more lighthearted moments so it wasn’t all super heavy. I highly recommend this book it wasn’t my typical genre but I really enjoyed it.

Wow. Just...wow.

This book features Trey, a young gay man coming of age during the AIDS crisis in NYC in the 80's. For a majority of this book, I forgot I was listening to fiction. It truly feels like a memoir and I was very invested in all of the characters.

There were highlights touching on Trey's activism and how it intersects with race, family relationships and chosen family relationships, the HIV/AIDS crisis and how devastating it was for the LGBTQ community,

This book was beautiful and devastating and inspiring. Maybe one of my favorite books this year.

**Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.**

My government means to kill me is a great insight into a time when the AIDS crisis was in full force in the 1980's New York. It's a gut wrenching and honest book. I really appreciated all the insight into AIDS activism.

MGMtKM takes you on a journey with 'Trey' who turns his back on his privileged upbringing to escape the infamy of a family tragedy back home and goes to New York in the 1980's and learns to survive by his wits. Not a word is wasted, every chapter moves the story forward and Trey is a flawed but empathetic protagonist. Real life historical figures pop up through out the novel and it shows a different view inside the AIDS activism. I definitely would recommend.

Author Rasheed Newson has created “My Government means to kill me” using known and underrated figures in 1980’s Queer Black New York, AIDS movement in history and gives its reader a glimpse into their life and daily experience. This novel had a visceral and powerful grip on my attention and importantly my heart. For moments that occurred numerously throughout the novel I believed its protagonist Earl “Trey” Singleton to be a real life person whose narration was memories from a life lived rather than created by an author. Trey is a young black man coming from an affluent family in Indianapolis, as he enters the city does his life intertwine with the likes of Rustin Bayard, becomes a member of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP), assists AIDS patients at a home hospice, and importantly reflects the experience of a Black Queer man. Accompanied by the narration of actor, singer, and dancer Jelani Alladin that gave Newson’s words the emotional gravitas needed to invoke such feelings in the reader was breathtakingly moving and added such depth to the story. The audiobook, and novel are ones that I shall purchase for myself. It is a story that I will want to visit many times to explore the lives of those described who lived and add to the power of fiction to those created who we wish did. I give the audiobook and novel a strong five out of five stars and cannot recommend it enough. Out of 62 books I have read this year “My Governement means to kill me” is a standout hit and look forward to the many books Newson shall create in the future.

Many thanks to the ever generous @macmillan.audio for allowing me early access to @rasheed.newson.author 's book, out now by @flatiron_books :
#myGovernmentMeanstoKillme
which I promptly went out and bought in hardback. Sooo glad I did as the book comes with footnotes (see subq photos) with some factual explanations as this book weaves some actual historic figures into the fictional narrative. In this story, the protagonist Trey, leaves his wealthy family behind in Indianapolis, and comes to #NYC - story set in the 1980's and features the LQBTQ+ community there and the liberation people felt being able to just live their true selves in a liberal like-minded community. And so, through the fun and excitement of the free-sex environment of the NYC bathhouses we see Trey really learn about who he is and what he likes. But he really finds himself when he starts helping out at a local woman's home hospice for AIDS victims. He becomes more politically aware and gets involves with ACTUP - a grassroots political movement dedicated to the ending of the AIDS epidemic, spreading awareness to the community and to the government. This book is about a young man coming of age, learning his truth, and living it. I appreciated the complex relationship with his mother and their family tragedy was really rough, I felt that guilt emaninating off of Trey. I enjoyed his seeking advice on a legal matter but finding his own way to solve the issue, even though it meant betraying one for the greater good. It was in that moment he became a true leader and found man. Loved this story, I hope you all check it out.
This author has already been writing and producing fantastic tv such as The Chi, Narcos, and Bel-Air (the first two which i watch & love)... so all of his dialouge is so fresh, real, and flowing as natural as can be. I love it when conversations in books are fluid and natural!
This is definitely one to read! Check it out!
Wishing Rasheed much success with this & hoping he had more books inside him to share with us in the future!! 🔥

bonus pic of my Gia at the end with the sunflowers our neighbor picked from her #urbangarden just for Gia🥰

My Government Means to Kill Me is a stunning debut about a Black, homosexual youth growing up in 1980s New York City. Trey is from a wealthy, powerful family, but he abandons them and his money to build a new life for himself in New York. He's running away from something, something from his past that still haunts him, as he embarks on a new life. Trey rapidly learns that being Black and homosexual can be hazardous even in a huge, liberal city, and that danger increases as he active activism. I'm really hooked with this book, and it's undoubtedly one of my faves this year. It reads like a memoir. It blends actual and imaginary occurrences in a way that works brilliantly. I kept wondering whether it was a work of fiction since so many real-life individuals appear on this book's pages, which made the narrative much more convincing. Reading this story felt like I was pulled directly into New York's gay culture and the Civil Rights Movement. I liked how Newson didn't shy away from discussing difficult topics like homophobia and the AIDS pandemic, but Trey's personality and the individuals we meet are so colorful and interesting that the story doesn't feel too depressing. It's a wonderful and caring tale about coming of age in one of the gorgeous settings.

My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson is such a great multi layered story! We follow Trey, a young gay Black man in 1980s New York City, as he explores his sexuality and finds his political voice. I loved the setting and the distinct cast of characters spanning a large age range. Trey befriends an older gay Black man who introduces him to new ways of thinking and it’s great that Trey not only finds lovers but also impactful friendships. I listened to the audiobook narrated by Jelani Alladin and he was fantastic! I was sucked into this story and finished this book quite quickly. I loved how this is a queer coming of age story that explores what it means to be a gay Black man dealing with the AIDS crisis, his family, politics in many forms and finding himself. I’m excited to see what this author will write next!
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Thank you to Macmillan Audio via NetGalley for my ALC!