4.5

I initially noticed this because of the eye catching title, and then I saw that Jelani Alladin, who I loved in Frozen on Broadway, narrated it and I was sold on giving this book a try and wow am I glad I did. For one, Jelani Alladin's narration was outstanding. And also, the narrative itself was incredibly moving.

Written in a memoir style, My Government Means to Kill Me follows the recollections of Trey Singleton, a young Black man from a wealthy Indianapolis family who gives up his trust fund to move to New York City. Along the way he makes friends with now-famed civil rights activist Bayard Rustin, fights against unfair housing practices, gets involved in the creation of ACT UP, and so much more. The story is framed as a series of life lessons, such as "The Boss Doesn't Love You", "Romantic Notions Are Delusions", "To Change the World, Have a Selfish Goal", that relate to the events of that chapter and I thought that as really clever.

I go back and forth on my feelings about Trey as a main character. On the one hand all of this experience makes him feel like he should be a really compelling main character and he definitely is, but at the same time I couldn't help but get frustrated at the extent of his passivity. For a good chunk of the story, he just lets events happen to him and his narration makes it seem like he just got swept up in the events rather than actively seeking them out while at the same time he is very derisive of the "conformity gays" and others who don't want to join in the movements despite their reasons.

I liked the mix of what is real and what is fictional. As I mentioned, Trey gets involved in political activism and meets several real life activists, and through a lot of the book I found myself taking note of people and events that I should learn more about. My one caveat with this is the ending. In the last few chapters, we discover <spoiler> Angie is euthanizing some of the men in her underground AIDS hospice and is under investigation and Trey tries to help her. While I understand including something along those lines for the sake of Trey's character arc and because euthanasia is/was a major topic surrounding HIV/AIDS, I question the inclusion of Angie as an Angel of Mercy Killer when so much of the rest of the book is rooted in proven historical fact. </spoiler>.

Overall, I think this was an excellent debut and I know it will be a book I think about for a long time. It tackles a lot of really difficult themes and topics and had me very emotional at times. I will definitely be buying myself a physical copy as well as audio, as I believe there are footnotes!

4.5/5

Rasheed Newson's debut novel, My Government Means to Kill Me, is such a phenomenal addition to the zeitgeist of queer fiction. Newson, so brilliantly, blends the fictional narrative of Trey Singleton's coming-of-age with some people, organizations, and events that are linked to the reality of 1980's New York: Bayard Rustin, James Baldwin, "The Black Doodler," Bill Buckley, Marvin Liebman, Larry Kramer, ACT UP, etc. (this is TRULY just to name a FEW).

The footnotes throughout this novel do a great job differentiating the fictional events from the reality of the situations. Newson DEFINITELY took some liberties with the incorporation of these real elements in his story, so I'm glad that he included the footnotes to cue the reader in on the liberties taken.

Overall, I think this is such a phenomenal coming-of-age story about Trey, a gay, black man that is estranged from his wealthy family and attempting to make it on his own in NYC; he meets many people along the way that aid in his journey to self-discovery and the importance of standing up for what he believes to be right. Trey's development throughout the novel is masterfully crafted by Newson; though I devoured this book in just a few days, I truly did not want to put this book down. It is less than 300 pages long, but there is SO MUCH within these pages! Even now, as I think back on elements of the book I enjoyed, there are scenes that I remember being a part of the story that make me wonder how Newson was able to fit it all in such a short book.

I would recommend this book to ANYONE, honestly! I've been asked by a few people, outside of the queer community, what queer books I would recommend for someone who would like to educate themselves more on the community as a whole, and this book has easily jumped into my top 5 of that category. Though this novel doesn't explore ALL aspects of the queer community, it does a fantastic job at discussing the specific nuances that queer people, and more importantly queer people of color, share (from the 1980's and FORWARD). This novel also, really beautifully, weaves in elements of truth and fact within its pages that allows for readers to anchor Trey's story in reality.

All that to say, if you haven't yet read this book, I HIGHLY encourage you to do so! It's beautiful, it's funny, it's terrifying, it's heartbreaking, it's educational, it's uplifting, and it's REAL!

So powerful. I learned so much in these 273 pages, more than I have, I feel, in my lifetime. Rasheed Newson tells a beautiful fictional story about a Black gay boy named Trey, surrounded by historical happenings and unforgettable resisters. I’m honestly speechless by how much this book made me feel- scared, devastated, hopeless and hopeful, excited, and safe. This book, our history is not for the faint of heart. Rasheed Newson, through Trey, as well as Angie and Simon and Rustin and the countless other brothers and sisters who we exist on the shoulders of, illustrates the ACT up movement fraught with sacrifices and loss and resilience, in such a beautiful manner. This is truly a must read. Definitely in my top 3 of 2022 thus far.

As much as I wanted to continue this read, the writing style was not for me. The author left no avenue for thought as everything was put on page. The issues he tackled are important and still exist in our so called progressive society. The gentrification of communities of colour, the exclusion and prejudicial laws/acts towards POC and queer communities are very much alive and well. The main character is flawed and at times unlikeable in both his actions and behaviour, yet this makes him relatable. I know there is an audience out there who will enjoy this novel and the voice in which it is told, but for right now it's not for me.

I received a free Advanced Reading Copy via NetGalley in exchange for a complete and honest review.

One of the best books I've read in a long while.

Rasheed Newson has written an addictive narration of the life of a young, gay Black man in the midst of the AIDs crisis in the NYC of the mid-eighties. Eighteen year old Trey, our narrator, has landed in NYC without a friend or any prospects, and we follow his journey from naïve newcomer to fierce fighter, activist, and true New Yorker over the course of a whirlwind two years. Newson does not shy away from Trey's frank and joyous sexuality, and shows us gay bathhouse culture with countless anonymous encounters and colorful characters.

I will admit that when I picked up this book, I forgot that it had been labelled as fiction, and read it as I would a memoir- all the small historical details didn't deter me from this notion. With that in mind, I felt the ending was altogether too abrupt. After realizing it had been a novel all along, however, I think it wrapped up nicely. It left me with a sense of hope for Trey, and a curiosity about all the things he has yet to encounter in the fullness of time. I would welcome a sequel.

I received this advance reader copy of the audio-book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Wowza - this book read like a nonfiction book. I loved it!! Absolutely swept me up in it. I cannot believe this is a debut!

Such a powerful and well-written memoir-esque coming-of-age novel, I was so intrigued by the story and all the characters that Trey met. A lot happened over the course of the novel, but I still felt like there was something more I was expecting, though that could have been because of the way it ended? The audiobook version was excellent as well!

This book was really good and powerful I fully enjoyed the plot and at many points it didn’t feel like historical fiction and instead a memoir

This is one of those books that I kept seeing floating around on my various social media channels and thought the cover was absolutely AMAZING! After reading the synopsis, I requested the audiobook and decided to give it a go. I am so very glad that I did as I am forever changed by this candidly humorous yet emotionally raw work of LGBTQ+ historical fiction with a gay Black POV by Rasheed Newson.

Earl "Trey" Singleton III, a young Black man from a prominent Indianapolis family, decides to leave his family and trust fund behind to experience life in New York City in the 1980s and live openly as a gay man during the height of the AIDS pandemic. Through his eyes, we get to experience what it was like to live in an apartment building run by the greedy and despicable Fred Trump, feel the excitement and anonymity of going to a gay bath house in Harlem, mourn the number of gay men killed by AIDS and fight for civil rights with ACT UP, all while running from a traumatic past that follows and haunts Trey in NYC.

I laughed. I cried. I smiled. I raged. Words cannot do justice to the range of emotions I felt while listening to this book. Speaking of listening, the narration by Jelani Alladin was excellent, superb, and fabulous! Alladin brought Trey to life from the pages of the book and it was not long before I felt they were one and the same person.

This was a 5-star read for me and I highly recommend it to everyone. It's an excellent historically accurate LGBTQ+ story of social and political issues during the 1980s from a marginalized POV. Just read it. You won't regret it!

I received an advance review copy of this audiobook for free from Macmillian Audio and NetGalley, and I am leaving my honest review voluntarily as a courtesy.

Wow. I was not sure what I was getting when I requested this book. I was initially intrigued by the title of the book.

What I got was such a RAW story on Trey’s life and experience on being a young, gay and Black man living in NYC away from his family. I loved the visual portrayal of his struggles and all he endured to overcome it and rise above.

I loved the wild experiences and I laughed so many times at his thoughts and his actions - especially the part where he lets his neighbor have a piece of his mind after she caught herself trying to tell him about being a sissy in love with her man. Hilarious!! I loved the narrator, I felt like his voice was able to catch my attention and keep me engaged. 4.5 stars

I loved the narration style for this audiobook, and loved the actual book as well! I really liked how the narrators voice matched the main characters energy exactly, and it was super engaging/dynamic to listen to. I will be discussing this book on my page in the future!

This is one of those books where 5 stars seems severely inadequate.

This book follows Earl “Trey” Singleton III, as he navigates NYC in the 80's as an out openly gay man in the world. He has left his family for reasons you learn later in the book. And is trying to find his own way and place in the world.

This is one of the reviews where I feel I lack the adequate words to express how good this book is. I was totally engrossed from the very first word. Not only is it just so good. But the character arc of Trey is just so beautiful. The way he's learns and grows. The way he looks out for others and loves and looks outside himself. It's just so beautiful.

But there's so much more. The societal context of being Black in the 80s. Of being Gay in the 80s. Of being in the world during the AIDS crisis. This book was so raw and rough. It was beautiful and soulful. I loved it so much!

I'm honestly lacking the appropriate words to express just how good this book is. I highly recommend this book!!

Thank you so much Rasheed Newson for Writing such an outstanding book
Thank you so much to Jelani Alladin for lending your voice to Trey and all the other amazing characters. and brining this book to life
Thank you to Netgalley and Macmillan Audio for the ARC audiobook.

This book was so interesting. Following the story of Trey, coming of age in NYC in the 80s and in the midst of the AIDS crisis, Trey is a black homossexual man finding his way, his sexuality and his sense of civil duty. It is a beautiful story, complicated, sad and very enlightening.
Please be warned that the spice content is very detailed!
I overall enjoyed this title quite a bit.

An incredible story that kept me listening to the end!

This queer coming of age story felt so raw and visceral that I often felt I was experiencing true life events, the writing was that fantastic. In this story we follow Trey Singleton, a young black man from Indianapolis who escapes his familial legacy and a tragic event he is blamed for- though no one openly mentions it- and moves to New York City, where he quickly realizes that the things he's left behind allow him to find his true identity. It is in New York where he runs into Bayard Rustin in a bath house in Harlem that sets him on a course of activism; beginning with a fight over his tenancy at a Trump owned (and dilapidated building) to volunteering at an Aids home where he sees countless men ravaged by the then new disease. His journey then takes him to become a founding member of the aids coalition group ACT UP. Throughout his journey of activism he also finds himself lured to explore his sexuality freely in a city that offers him more than his share of one-night stands and discreet hook-ups in the dark hallways and rooms of the bath house. Filled with a colorful cast, raw sexual encounters and the realities that black men faced then (and one can argue even now, on a day to day basis) MY GOVERNMENT MEANS TO KILL ME was a fast paced, wonderful read and is definitely one of my 5 star reads of this year.

OUT 8/23./2o22. Thank you Flatiron Books for the Audiobook! (my first audiobook ever!)

There are several content warnings applicable to My Government Means to Kill Me, but one is so prevalent that it's the only one I'm going to mention, and it is the primary reason I disliked the book. The vast majority of the narrative is sexually graphic, and the sex is often violent and occasionally anonymous.

This book serves as a perfect example of why, generally, I'm not a fan of historical fiction: neither the fiction nor the history is well-served. I read a lot of politics, social justice, history, and LGBTQ (primarily fiction, but also nonfiction). In this case, I would have been much more satisfied by reading a historical account of the AIDS crisis (along with race relations and general LGBTQ issues). Here, the significant factual narrative was completely overshadowed by the sexual exploits of the fictional characters. It's like the history was an afterthought. After reading a well-done nonfiction account of the topics, I would also, possibly, be happy to read a purely fictional story about the main character, Trey, if it weren't so sexually explicit. That is, every little detail of the many sexual encounters of several characters is not interesting to me. I don't think it advances the characters' stories. Describe to me how the characters feel and what they're thinking. Make me care. Don't just catalog their sexual positions and acts.

Contrary to the publisher's assertion that the book is “an exhilarating, fast-paced coming-of-age story,” I felt like every minute of the book was a trudge. This is an especially startling disconnect in a book that is relatively short (fewer than 300 pages).

Thank you, NetGalley and Macmillan Audio, for the audio ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review. Publication is expected August 23.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Flatiron Books / Macmillan Audio for early access to the audiobook of My Government Means to Kill Me by Rasheed Newson in exchange for an honest review.

CW: racism, homophobia, sexual content, sexual harassment, terminal illness, child death, death, grief, police brutality, violence, drug and alcohol use, see growing list on StoryGraph.

A beautiful portrait of HIV/AIDS advocacy, 1980-early 2000s. Centering the black male experience, this book brings heart-wrenching truth to the fear and systemic disenfranchisement of gay men during this distinct moment in history. Written as though a memoir and set against the backdrop of bathhouse culture, the prose is absolutely beautiful and the characters are extremely lovable and loving. I don't want to offer too many details about the finer plot points because I think this is one of those books that is better if you go into it blind.

I was blown away by this book. My heart just wants to hold these characters in their pain. But there were also so many moments of compassion and camaraderie throughout the narrative. I was rooting for these characters and this cause the whole way through.

You know how there are certain nonfiction books that read like fiction? This is a fiction book that somehow reads like nonfiction? I'm not sure how to explain it any other way. There were moments that just felt so genuine and real that I found myself second guessing whether it truly was fiction.

I cannot recommend this book enough. This book is for anyone and everyone, but especially those looking to exercise their empathy muscles.

This is one of the best books I've read this year. I found the main character to be inspiring, passionate and loyal. Newson's writing shone through as a sexy, scary and amazing account of a young Black gay man growing up in New York during the AIDS crisis. The road to advocacy included legends like Larry Kramer and honored the legacy of lesbians taking care of dying AIDS patients along with interesting plot lines and lessons.

I found the narrator Jelani Alladin to be amazing as well. This was a perfect choice to narrate Newson's amazing writing.

I have not read many fictionalized memoirs and it is a very interesting genre. This book is intense and it's riveting in there is a lot of really important information. I actually really loved the story and it was so so close to being a favorite.

This is a coming of age story set in the 1980s and queer New York City with a black gay main character navigating bathhouses and queer activism and the AIDS crisis. There's a lot going on.

My two main issues were the fact that the term asexual was used in place of celibate and that is a pet peeve of mine. My other critique is the way that lesbians were referred to in this book. Lesbians had such a profound impact during the AIDS crisis and did so much for gay men and for there to only be one lesbian in this book and for her to turn out to have a semi-negative arc was really frustrating. I also had some issues with the way that our main character talked about women and I can't figure out if that attitude is just allowed because it's a 1980s historical fictionalized memoir, or if I'm allowed to hold cis gay men accountable for their fucking misogyny.

Either way, as a whole, this is a book that I would recommend with a few caveats to be mindful that there are some problematic terms and language used that could be upsetting for people.

A great novel that reads like a memoire.

Trey is a queer, 18 year old from a politically connected family who flees to New York as a result of a family trauma. He meets a cast of characters who influence him as he “accidentally” becomes an activist. Its a very interesting portrayal of 1980s gay scene in New York and account of the beginnings of actual activist groups such as ACT UP during the early AIDS epidemic.

Book themes were fascinating covering issues such as violence, family trauma, housing insecurity, and the struggle of AIDS patients in the 80s. Overall, great read that was also educational.

Thanks to McMillan Audio and NetGalley for access to this title!