Oh My Goodness, I adored Always The Almost by Edward Underhill! A Queer Young Adult contemporary romance, a trans piano player and the boy who acceptance exactly as he is.

I honestly have zero complaints with this book. It's told in single person point of view which usually ends up being an issue for me, but Miles is a strong lead. While he has come out as trans, he is very much still trying to find himself and feel comfortable in his own skin. His goal of trying to win back his ex who broke up with him when he came out is very much on par with a sixteen-year-old mindset, so is the tendency to be wrapped up in ones self and act selfishly. Yet every step of the way his reactions are relatable even if the drama climax of the story hurt to read.

From the beginning I was invested in Mile's journey as a person and watching his relationships with his family and friends. It was heart lifting to watch Mile's grow confidence in himself and have it reflect in his piano performance. As for the romance aspect of the story, the moment Eric steps on the page I was absolutely smitten with him and the more Miles gets to know him the more I fell in love. He's completely supportive of Miles for everything he is and wants to be. I was hoping and praying that everything would work out for them at the end.

Always the Almost by Edward Underhill is a fantastic Queer YA contemporary romance filled with family, supportive friends, personal growth, trust, auditorium study sessions, ugly Christmas sweaters, locker notes, and a happy ending.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this eARC.

Always the Almost follows trans teen Miles as he navigates school, family, friendship, romance, and a regional piano competition after coming out.

For me, one of the most important things in books about queer kids is that they feel like they are written from a place of love, and every page of Always the Almost was absolutely steeped in love and care. Though Miles encountered transphobia and homophobia, and though he struggled with loving and finding himself, it was clear that his story was written from a place of love — for Miles, and for the reader.

This book was lovely, and joyful, and even though I knew it would end happily, my heart still raced as Miles sat down at the piano for his performance at the Tri-State competition (seriously, my Apple Watch was like “hey your heart rate just randomly increased and we’re worried about you). I am so excited for the teens who will see themselves — and find themselves — in the pages of this book.

Miles Jacobson is trans. He is 16 years old and a pianist. He lives in Wisconsin.

Miles wants two things: to win back his ex, who broke up with him when he came out, and to beat Cameron Hart at the Tri-State Piano Competition. But when a new boy moves to town, things get shaken up and suddenly Miles is no longer sure what exactly he wants.

As a nonbinary pianist, this book felt in some ways like it was written for me. Although Miles and I have different pronouns and gender identities, although Miles lives in a less-accepting place than i do, and although Miles competes for piano and I just play for fun, I related to a lot of always the almost.

I related to the feeling of wearing a binder, the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing a version of yourself that matches how you feel inside, the joy and euphoria that comes with the right clothes and presentation.

I related to the feeling of playing piano, the freedom that comes with your fingers pressing into the keys, the strength that comes with your fingers stretching out and slamming octaves, the creativity that comes with picking out the melody of a favorite song, the comfort that comes with your fingers playing a soothing, familiar melody.

I love that we’re beginning to see more books with trans characters. I love that we get to see trans characters in relationships with people who unequivocally accept them. I love that we get to see piano teachers and mentors who support trans teenagers. I love that we get to see trans characters who aren’t in big liberal cities. I love that we are able to have books like this one that show one of the many ways to be trans and gay.

Always The Almost is a beautiful, wholesome book about trans identity and music. It might just inspire you to pick piano back up ;)

Thank you to Netgalley for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I LOVED THIS BOOK. I jump at the chance to read any young adult book with trans rep and this did not disappoint. Even though I didn’t always love the choices he made 8 couldn’t help but root for him because I knew he was just doing his best. I loved his relationship with Eric and the diverse cast of characters was charming and entertaining.

“But just before the darkness goes too far––before the whole thing turns to tragedy––the sweetness returns. The music breathes and I breathe with it.”

What a heartwarming love letter to trans and queer joy!

This is a beautiful debut with important representation––so well written and with a cast of characters that are lovable, understanding, messy, and human; characters that are realistic.

I loved reading about Miles’ journey as he navigated his breakup, his transition, a new romance, and trying to find himself both in general and within music/piano. Setting the story during the leadup to a piano competition (with an intense piano teacher, too), an already stressful and heightened situation, was such a genius idea. The piano is an extension of Miles and every worry, fear, every moment of happiness and joy, is reflected in his piano playing. As someone who isn’t a musician but a huge fan, it’s always interesting to learn and read about music, and I just found it very lovely how interconnected and transformational playing the piano is for Miles. I wasn’t originally sold on his piano teacher, Stefania, originally, but she really saw Miles in a way none of the other characters did. She challenged him and became an integral part of his self-discovery, and I grew to really love and appreciate her as a character.

The friendships were beautiful as well. The love that Miles’ friends had for him was very palpable and sweet, and they wanted nothing more than to protect Miles at all costs (same). And, of course, Eric <3 my love.

I was surprised when I learned this was a debut. It’s so fleshed out. The writing style was very easy to jump into, and the characters were three-dimensional. This story is authentic and happy and lovely. Just an overall celebration of and love letter to queerness and being trans, and I love that this book exists.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press/Wednesday Books and NetGalley for this eARC!! (:

Always the Almost is about a trans boy, Miles, navigating life after his transition while also trying to practice for and win a big piano contest.

I thought this book was so charming and cute, and it is always SO nice to see trans/queer characters get a happy ending without something HORRIBLY tragic happening to them before they get there. Of course, Miles had his struggles, but it was normal relationship stuff instead of, like, someone close to him dying or something terrible like that. The characters were all so lovable, and I absolutely loved that there were hardly any straight characters (this is what I want to see!!).

One thing I super appreciated was the trans-specific relationship things that Miles goes through. Like, how does one navigate your ex-boyfriend not being into you anymore because he's not gay and it turns out you're a boy? I'm not trans myself, but I know that an impact seeing a character like you can have. While plot lines like that are becoming more common, I think it's so important for trans kids/teens to see themselves reflected in books (and media in general). This book was so cringey and funny and romantic, and it did a wonderful job (and keep in mind this is from a cis-woman's perspective so of course I could have missed something).

I will definitely be recommending this book!!

Always the Almost is a poignant examination of identity and love that will leave you feeling joyful and uplifted.

Miles Jacobson is finally living his life the way he sees himself—as a boy. As a concert pianist, he has one main goal—to beat his nemesis at the Midwest’s biggest classical piano competition. In his personal life, his goal is to win back his ex-boyfriend. When a new kid at school, Eric Mendez, shows Miles that he is perfect just the way he is, Miles still struggles with accepting himself. And he’ll have to decide whether he’s enough just as he is, or if he’s always the “almost.”

I loved everything about this story, from the writing and narrative, to the representation. I want to put this book in every adolescent’s hands. Author Edward Underhill does a fantastic job of creating a uniquely queer story that also taps into universal themes surrounding adolescence and self-perception. The characters are richly layered, and you feel their flaws and their mistakes just as deeply as their triumphs. There are times when you want to shake Miles and imbue him with more confidence, which makes the reading experience all the more immersive and real. And Eric is the kind of kid who you’d want your kid to emulate, or who you would have wanted to be friends with back in high school.

I really enjoyed this story, and can’t wait to read more from this author.

Thank you to Wednesday Books and NetGalley for generously providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

CW: transphobia, microagressions, racism, internet bullying, cheating, use of dead name, queer phobia

I would recommend if you're looking for (SPOILERS)

-m/m YA romance
-trans rep
-pan rep
-friends to lovers
-simp

Gosh I adored this book. It was so swoony, tender and just a joyous book. Miles recently has come out as trans and finding the joy in living as his most authentic self. A competitive piano player, he's trying to figure out what his life looks like now. His boyfriend dumped him, he's switching piano teachers. I loved how just messy, honest and just doing his best Miles was. All he wanted was to be himself and live his life.

Eric, sweet, soft, simpin Eric. I adored him. Just the perfect match for sweet Miles. Just hanging out while Miles practiced piano, there for him and just offering him endless understanding. Their relationship was so sweet, it had me swooning for these two as they figured out each other's boundaries and just enjoyed being with each other. I just wanted to hug both him and Miles, they were such a great couple. Getting to know each other, learning about the other's lives, and just the consent, consent, consent, consent.

Miles dedication to his piano playing, how much peace it brought him, and how it was another extension of him figuring out himself. I loved all of those moments of him just breathing in the music and just so clearly enjoying himself. Just every aspect of this book, beautifully written, I can't wait to see what Edward writes next.

Steam: 1

This book is a fantastic contemporary young adult story that tackles big themes without seeming like it's trying to do too much at once. As we follow Miles through the story, he deals with his own concept of his gender, his attraction to Eric (and his lingering focus on his ex-boyfriend Shane), the shifting dynamic of his two best friends, and his upcoming major piano competition. Miles feels like a very real character, and he makes mistakes that are believable, which makes it very satisfying to read him try to make things right again. I really enjoyed how big a part music plays in this story, and how it relates to the idea of creativity as a whole. Miles' piano teacher asks him to think about why he plays piano, and Eric relates his artistic process to how Miles performs music. The side characters also feel very realistic and have depth even when Miles is focused inwardly. I especially appreciated how his parents were written with their different ways of accepting Miles being trans. There are moments of transphobia, and Miles' deadname is prominently featured, but these aspects feel natural for the story and more content warnings are available on the author's website. Overall, I would recommend this book to any readers looking for a YA contemporary with a diverse cast of characters and a relatable protagonist.

4 stars

This is such a charming YA heart warmer that is aptly releasing on Valentine's Day. What could be better?!

Miles, the m.c., is a piano playing high school student with a charming friend group, a challenging situation with his recent ex, and an intriguing new romantic possibility. Since Miles has very recently come out as trans, readers get to see how the various constituents in his life are managing what is news to them and what has been known to Miles for a while. As expected, the reactions vary.

The secondary characters are an absolute highlight overall, but Stefania, Miles's piano teacher, wins on the quirky + fascinating = utterly unstoppable front. If Miles gets a sequel (and he should!), I hope Stefania is still a major force in his life.

Underhill provides a needed and appreciated service to readers by letting us know before the novel begins that while we're going to encounter some bad actors, this is a book about queer and trans JOY, and all promises are kept and appreciated.

This is a delightful YA romance featuring a trans m.c. and his realistic but not traumatizing experiences. We all need this in our lives, and I look forward to having more Underhill books in mine!

Thoughtful, hopeful, and, yes, virtuosic. Highly recommend this perfect YA romcom featuring a trans main character.

Thank you to NetGalley and St Martin's Press for an advanced electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

Miles recently came out as trans, and all he wants is for people to see him as he is. That's hard enough in high school without being queer, but throw in a recent breakup and high stakes piano competition, and Miles has a lot of questions about his identity. Told with supporting characters you'll love, written from the perspective of a trans author, this book will give you the feels (coming from someone who doesn't cry over books but definitely teared up reading the ending in public).

There is some homophobia/transphobia on the page, but it is all challenged by characters. There are lots of rea emotions portrayed here, but Miles is the kind of MC you want to see win. This book is great for lovers of YA, LGBTQ+ rep, and music lovers (especially those who have ever been classically trained). Releasing on Valentine's Day!

Rating: 4.5 ⭐️ rounded down

This was such a cute romance with a newly out trans MC and a fantastic book boyfriend, centered around a piano competition. It’s a truly YA read with its awkward characters, and the mess they get themselves into.

👍
+ This book is centered around trans joy but it still has great explorations of mainly internal and some external struggles of being trans. People around Miles have mostly accepted him, but some with caveats. But most of the book is focused on his own explorations of who he is, what kind of person he wants to be, and also teenager things like who he might like.
+ The love interest, Eric, is so fantastic. He’s thoughtful, supportive, and loving. He’s always there for his sister and Miles. Also loved that he was from Seatlle.
+ I loved Miles’ piano teacher, and the conversations the two have, especially around music, identity, and the connection between the two.
+ Music overall is a big part of the book, it definitely made me wanna listen to all the classical music mentioned, and now my YouTube is filled with people playing the piano.
+ Overall great trans rep (coming from a non-trans reviewer) There was a lot of nuance in how Miles and those around him process his transition. E.g. in his efforts to win him back, Miles and his straight ex get into interesting conversations on gender identity and sexual orientation where you feel for both of them.

👎
- It felt like Miles was stuck on his ex a little too long. I get that he’s a teenager but I thought that this weakened the main romance arc.
- I also found the drama among the friend group unnecessary at the end. I’m not sure if it added much to the story for me.

Thank you to Wednesday Books, St Martin's Press and NetGalley for the eARC!

the characters and writing were truly beautiful but I won't lie I feel like i'm outgrowing ya so much
if you haven't I would totally recommend this though!! the rep was nice in my opinion and the characters made it very entertaining :)

This was really cute and wholesome at the beginning, but things got downhill real fast once the cheating became obvious. I could see what Underhill was doing with Shane and how Miles' didn't need his ex to love him in order validate his identity, that it's okay if who he is was different than who he was before, but Miles' whole attitude of how he wanted to make Shane queer disgusted me from the beginning (And this is coming from someone who's also queer) and him realizing he shouldn't be doing that only came after he kissed Shane. Poor Eric, who has done nothing but be the best, supportive boyfriend to Miles and has always seen him as he was from the very start, does not deserve this

It wasn't just with Miles, either, but with Rachel and Paige, the side lesbian couple. Paige straight up cheated on Rachel and dumped her for the other girl. She tried to give excuses, like how she never was really in love with Rachel in the first place, how Rachel's personality was "too much", and how it felt so much more right with Josie, but it's just so gross. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to dump your first relationship with the person who has supported you through your coming-out and budding queerness, but Paige was a coward and made the active choice to hurt Rachel before dumping her. Obviously, Miles had no leg to stand on in criticizing Paige with his whole ordeal, but I can't fucking understand why he decided to keep her as a friend despite all the shit she's done to Rachel, his first and better friend. Mind you, these two have character art in the pre-order campaign; why the hell are they posed together as a couple when they have so obviously broken up by the end? And that Paige is just so shitty? It's already hard to have good WLW rep in media, nowadays, but shit like this certainly isn't helping.

Other than that, the writing was okay, nothing too bad but not immersive, either. I really liked Stefania, Miles' piano teacher who, despite her Russian being exaggerated at the point it was stereotyping, was one of the best side characters and honestly gave great advise and was a good mentor to Miles. Despite me being a band kid, I didn't connect with the music aspect of the book too much. Perhaps it was because of how the music was described/written or the fact I didn't like Miles, therefore not caring whenever he got cathartic when he was playing.

Overall, don't recommend unless you can get past the cheating plotline.

This was the sweetest! I love a romance that is just as much about loving yourself as it is about loving another person. The characters are all really interesting and you can't help but root for almost everyone. The descriptions of finding yourself in music are the real beauty of this book and were a treat to read.

I really enjoyed this! The MCs were well developed, as were some of the side characters. There were quite a few moments for a few characters that had me wanting to yell at them, but they were all moments of learning and growth, which made everything feel real/emotional.

A hopeful novel about what it means to be your authentic self.

Miles Jacobson has two goals for the year, to beat Cameron Hart at their regional piano competition and to convince his ex-boyfriend that he’s the same person he was before coming out as trans. But neither is looking to be easy. No matter how hard he practices, nothing seems to be enough for his new piano teacher and his ex wants nothing to do with him. Miles is used to being just barely not good enough but then he meets Eric, who’s new in town, and he’s finally found someone who just understands him. As the two get to know each other, Miles starts to discover what it means to be his authentic self and things start to fall in place.

I liked the way the story weaves Miles' self discovery into his success as a pianist. The music becomes not just about his accomplishments but also a coping mechanism and a tool to better understand his emotions.

In general, the people in Miles’ life have been accepting of his identity which allows this to be a more light hearted representation of a trans identity than many novels. However, his dad hasn’t had the best reaction. While he does start to come around more by the end of the novel I felt like this storyline could have been explored more.

The main storyline wasn’t bad, but the story as a whole was definitely bolstered by the quality of the secondary characters. Nina and Stefania were two of my favorites!

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC!

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review

!!SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW!!

as a whole this book was beautiful. the writing was great and i loved the representation and in my opinion felt like it was truly well done. <spolier>However, i unfortunately cannot get over the amount of cheating there was in the book. it was just too much for me and it’s truly one of my least favourite trope ever. Usually i would stop reading as soon as i learn there’s cheating but because it was an ARC i didn’t want to give up.</spoiler>

The beginning was still cute and like i said i loved the premise and the overall message of this book. I’m not saying i hated this book but i didn’t love it either

That being said, i am excited to see what else edward underhill come up with.

Thank you Netgalley for providing me with an ARC.

Always the Almost is a beautiful story about growing into your true self. It is a story about trans joy.

I've been really excited about this book ever since I stumbled upon it for two things. One, the focus on music and playing music. Two, the queerness. As a queer person myself, I always love to read books with queer representation to both support my community and learn more about different sexualities and experiences.

The book started really strong for me. As someone who had played the violin for over ten years and whose violin had also been a big part of my childhood, that first chapter really resonated with me. I was really excited to read a YA contemporary in which the main character, Miles, is adept in music as it is something I relate to. This musical aspect is something I continue to love throughout the whole book. I love the symphonic descriptions and the emotions that come to play while playing and losing yourself in the joy of music.

I also loved the characters, Miles and his friends were all very cheerful and queerly chaotic.

However, I did stumble upon one issue within this book that was a huge turn-off for me and that is the cheating trope. I have zero tolerance for cheating and think it is the most disrespectful thing you can do to your significant other. I lose all respect for those who do. It is irredeemable in my eyes. So I was really taken aback when it happened in this book as I was not expecting it at all.
<spoiler>What made it worse is that the cheating happened twice. Not only does Miles cheat on Eric, but in the lesbian side couple (Miles' friends) Paige also cheats on Rachel. In my eyes, it was just unnecessary to have both couples go through it.</spoiler>
After that, I lost my respect for the characters who cheated and it broke something in my connection to them, making me care less about the story. I recognize that this is a personal preference and that others might not make such a big deal out it as I am. But I've seen firsthand the damage cheating can do to the person who's been cheated on. It breaks them. It destroys their trust, and makes them paranoid. It makes them doubt themselves whether they're good enough. It's so damaging to their mental health and I think it is just an awful thing to do to someone you're supposed to love.
I understand that the typical storyline of a YA contemporary is that all comes crashing down after the happiest moment but this book would have been perfect if the cheating had not been in there. Anything but cheating would have been better.

I tried to enjoy the book just as much as I was before this ordeal but it had put a damper on my enjoyment of it and created an uncrossable bridge between the story and me. My connection to the story had wavered and I did not manage to get close to it again and just read on with a certain detachment which made me incredibly sad.

All in all, this book was a 3/3.5 star read for me. But I feel torn rating this book 3 stars on social platforms because I want to support my fellow queer authors and help get queer books out there for more people to enjoy. That's why I'm rating it up to four stars. It really is a great book if you can look past the cheating. The trans rep and experiences are beautifully done and I'm sure they will be very meaningful to my trans people out there looking for a great relatable read.