Thank you to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for the eArc of <i>Always the Almost</i>. All opinions are my own.

It's an old story: boy meets girl. Boy and girl start dating and fall in teen-love. Girl realizes she's a boy and can't understand why boy doesn't like her anymore. Boy and boy break up. Boy is sad and plots to get him back.

So goes the start of <i>Always the Almost</i>, where we meet trans teen Miles, a competitive concert pianist, in the midst of dealing with several painful realities, including being accepted as an out trans boy by his school, piano community, and parents, breaking up with his boyfriend, and preparing for an intense piano competition where he hopes to finally best his rival Cameron.

Miles has a circle of support; his mother, his best friends, his piano teacher. A surprise he wasn't expecting? New kid Eric Mendez, an artist with a heart of gold and unwavering support for Miles and his ambitions.

Underhill does such an incredible job of describing the intensity and anxiety of prepping for a musical performance, and his descriptions of playing the piano? Oh my goodness. They were top-notch and totally immersive (unsurprisingly, since Underhill himself is a professional musician). His prose absolutely blossoms in the moments where he describes what it's like to play piano from Miles' point of view:

<i>"I am the crashing chords of joy. I am the reaching, searching melody. I am the cascading arpeggios and the waves of scales and the pounding octaves..."</i>

This was a great book with relatable characters, an appropriate amount of angst for a newly-out trans boy, and a realistic mixture of romantic, platonic, and family relationships. In fact, one of the many things I truly appreciated about this book was that the adults were not mere sidepieces. Miles' piano teacher Stefania, for example, is an actual, fully-realized character, a force of nature unto herself, and one of my favorites in the whole book, something often lacking in YA novels.

I'm looking forward to see what Underhill writes next. The cover? Also stunningly gorgeous and by one of my favorite fan artists. It could not have been a more perfect rendition of Miles and Eric.

Thoughts

I was surprised and delighted by this book. Though it got off to a bit of a rocky start for me (which I will go into later in this review), the story ultimately comes together very well.


Pros
Piano Forward: I really do love a book that takes a niche interest--here, competitive piano--and really embraces it. Piano shines out from these pages, and the experience of really playing comes through bright and clear. I could get lost in the piano competition scenes, the on-the-stage performance, just like Miles did in the moment. And that is just wonderful.

Balance: It is very rare to find a book that balances its subplots well, but Edward Underhill completely nails it. Piano might be a star in this book, but it isn't the only star. There's a budding romance that doesn't overwhelm an important musical endeavor, and there are school scenes laced throughout--i.e. this book feels very much like what this life would be like, a mixture of young love and music and school drudgery without one thing overwhelming or overshadowing the rest.

Cute and Sweet: This romance is sugar and sweetness in the best way possible. It takes time to unfold, and the characters learn and grow with each other. It's not overwhelming, and it definitely isn't spicy. It's sweet and innocent, new and fresh--young love and nothing more. No big expectations here, and I really enjoyed that.


Cons
Not Over Ex: They just broke up, and Miles didn't want to break up. Of course Miles still likes Shane. Of course Miles is still interested in him. But the fact of the matter here is that Shane is straight. Shane doesn't like men, and he clearly communicates that. And that's the part that I don't like. Miles isn't a girl, and now he's living like the boy he always has been. Sure, he might be the same on the inside, but so is Shane. And Shane is straight. Miles doesn't respect this very clear (and perfectly reasonable) boundary Shane establishes, and that bothered me so, so much. It felt icky.

Deadnaming: This isn't a con so much as a reader-beware. Miles has only recently transitioned, and so his deadname comes up. It isn't malicious. It's just slip-ups, dips into the past. But it bears mentioned, I think, nonetheless.

Cheater: I don't really like books with a cheating subplot, especially not when those involved in the scandal are meant to be the characters we're rooting for. It sorts itself out, and I understand why this plot was in the book. I just didn't like it.


Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
8/10

Fans of Lio Min's Beating Heart Baby will appreciate this new music-heavy romance. Fans of Elise Bryant's Happily Ever Afters will love this lighthearted of love story.

At first I was annoyed with Miles still being obsessed with getting back together with his straight ex boyfriend. Especially after he started dating Eric, who was the best character in this book and he deserved better. But, I do think it was realistic and handled well by the end. Paige was a terrible person, and I personally would have never forgiven her.

Miles Jacobson is a trans pianist who just wants to beat his nemesis in the regional competition and win back his ex boyfriend. but a new piano teacher and a mysterious new boy end up creating more problems than they solve, but maybe it’s exactly what Miles needs.

the author’s note at the beginning said this was a story about queer and trans joy and that’s exactly what was delivered.

Miles was a very authentic protagonist, and i really enjoyed his character arc. using the piano piece from his competition as the tool for him to figure out who he is was brilliant.

and his relationship with Eric was nice to follow. they both needed something from the other, and grew together in a very organic, healthy way. plus it was just a sweet romance to begin with.

this story hits all the coming-of-age beats wonderfully, covers all the rom-com moments perfectly, and exudes the kind of queer joy i read books for. but still tacks on some genuine, hard hitting conversations on identity.

this was beautiful. i had high expectations that were exceeded!! really enjoyable read and i’m placing it at the top of my recommendation list for the year!!

Always the Almost is a coming of age rom-com centering around a sixteen year old trans pianoist who is struggling to find himself and with how other people view him. It has laughter, pain, mistakes, but in the end, this book is about pure joy.

As soon as I saw the cover and synopsis of this book, I knew I was going to really enjoy this book, and I did. I loved the main character Miles, and reading about his journey in self-realization and self-acceptance. I do love coming of age romance novels, but I really appreciate that the romance in this book was not as prevalent as some of the other aspects, such as the struggles that a lot of trans people face. Overall, reading this book was such a joyous experience for me, and I truly cannot wait to see what Edward Underhill brings in the future.

4.5/5 Stars

Thank you to Netgalley, St. Martin’s Press, and Wednesday Books for the eARC!

this book wasn't initially on my tbr for january, but being the mood reader i am, i decided to pick this one up for a quick read in between other books, and let me say, i am so glad i did. i tore thru this book without even realizing it, racing towards the end without knowing my kobo was going to tell me i was finished. this book follows miles, a trans teen in small-town wisconsin who makes two new years resolutions: to beat nemesis cameron hart at the tri-state concerto piano competition, and to win back his ex shane, who recently dumped him when miles came out as trans. what he doesn't account for is eric, the cute queer guy from seattle who has dimples in his cheeks and seems to see miles for who he really is. this is a story about queer joy, about trans joy. we see miles & eric's relationship develop and bloom into something we all wished for in high school. we see miles discover who he is as a man thru his countless hours of piano practice. we see how music can be transformed by what you put into it, and also how it has the power to bring people together. this book is sweet & sincere & at moments hilarious. i audibly shouted when characters had avoidable miscommunications, as teenagers are known to do. i don't have anything more eloquent to say, other than to give this book a chance; we need more stories of trans joy in the world.

It was a great story about growing into yourself. The main character feels like such a great and authentic trans teen. The book was pretty amazing all around.

I loved a lot about ALWAYS THE ALMOST, but unfortunately the cheating in this book took away a lot of my enjoyment. This is a really personal thing, though, since I really believe teenagers are allowed to mess up and I love seeing that in fiction, too, but cheating is just a really big pet peeve of mine and I couldn't look past it.

Except for that, the book was good, and I'm looking forward to Edward Underhill's next work!

What a truly lovely story of queer and trans JOY!!

Miles Jacobson is an incredibly talented pianist. On New Years Eve he decides on two resolutions - 1) to finally beat his arch nemesis in a piano competition and 2) to get his ex boyfriend back. The same ex boyfriend who broke up with him two weeks after he announced he was trans. When Miles meets a new student who recently moved from Seattle, love isn’t on his mind. But what Miles finds in Eric is someone who accepts him unapologetically for who he says he is.

Though there is of course transphobia and struggles with people accepting his trans-ness, this ultimately is an incredibly joyful story. I legit almost cried when Eric tells Miles that he accepts him for who he says he is, no question - it’s just so sweet and what every trans person should get to experience.

The only thing that might have dropped this down for me was the teen-y drama that happens for the third act conflict. I recognize this is YA and that’s likely pretty realistic and I’m glad it didn’t last too long.

Ultimately I LOVED this and it is an incredible debut!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC in exchange for a review. All thoughts are my own

This was a 5 star prediction for me, and I'm a little sad that it's not quite there for me, but maybe I set my expectations too high after seeing so much hype surrounding this. This was still a really good read though, full of nuance and complexity. I just didn't feel as emotionally connected to it as I was hoping I would. I did love how Miles's playing piano intersected with how he was dealing with having just come out and trying to assert himself as who he really is. I do want to warn you if you're sensitive to transphobia that this has a lot of casually transphobic moments, so please be aware of that before you go in!

A trans gay pianist is determined to win back his ex boyfriend who broke up with him when he came out as trans. He’s also determined to beat his arch-nemesis, Cameron Hart, at the biggest piano competition in the Midwest. However, things get complicated when he meets queer artist Eric, and starts to fall for him.
I have very complicated feelings about this book, from the plot to the characters. So let’s start with the positives, shall we?
First off, I absolutely adored Miles’ journey of self discovery of who he truly is, learning that he is more than enough just being who he is, and his struggles with dysphoria and becoming comfortable in his body. He is a very flawed main character, the epitome of angst and mistakes and all the other things that come with being a queer teen. He’s messy, but extremely earnest and passionate. The other characters were great too. I felt like all of them were properly fleshed out. I also really loved the development of his relationship with his parents, especially his dad. I loved the way Eric’s queer identity was handled, he’s not gay, or bi, he just likes people. It’s not often that we see a queer character who doesn’t have a defining label. The way trans joy was portrayed really touched me, I wish there were more books that showed this!

Spoilers ahead!!!

No really, there are going to be spoilers, don't continue if you don't want to be spoiled for a major plot point.





I really enjoyed the plot for most of the book, right up until we got too: The Cheating Plot. Why must so many queer YA books include cheating? I’m noticing a harmful pattern here. First, Miles cheats on Eric (who btw is the sweetest character in the book and I adore him, so I was VERY upset that Miles would do that, no matter how confused he was) and then Paige cheats on Rachel. Cheating, no matter the reason, is never okay and I felt like the book tried to show that but then somewhat brushed over it because everything ended up all hunky dory. Which I get, since this book deserved a happy ending, but there were so many other avenues to explore for conflict between all the characters instead of resorting to cheating. Maybe it’s just because I am the kind of person who would never be able to forgive cheating, but I just found it a little unrealistic that both Eric and Rachel just decided it was all fine in the end. Another thing is that this book is described as having the fake dating trope. I would argue that it barely qualifies as fake dating, since the fake dating lasts like one chapter, and then they’re together.
I guess my feelings are complicated because while I adored certain aspects of this book, like the emphasis on trans joy, I really did not like other parts. I really struggled to find a rating to give this book, and I settled on four stars, since again, I did enjoy and love the majority of the book, and I think this book has some really important messages for queer and trans teens. 4/5 stars.

Very sweet and heartwarming. I especially loved Miles' character growth throughout the story and how music helped him really come into his own. I also loved much of the characterization. However, there were some parts that fell a little flat to me which prevented me from becoming fully invested in the story.

Miles wants two things this year: for his ex, Shane, to want him back, and to win the piano competition he's always come in second at. There's just one problem with each: Shane isn't into guys, and Cameron ALWAYS comes in first.
But then Miles meets Eric, the new kid, who immediately accepts that Miles is trans, who always seems to put him at ease, and who seems to maybe be into him. And Miles's piano teacher refers him to someone she thinks might have a shot at making him good enough to finally win the competition. And to top it all off, it seems like Shane might be willing to talk to Miles again, at least a little bit. It looks like Miles might finally get everything he wanted, but both the romance and the piano are more complicated than he expected.

I put off reading this book because it was SO hyped that I worried it couldn't live up to my expectations. I was so incredibly wrong--this was one of my favorite books I've read in a long time. It has characters who are lovable (if also frustrating), it has first love and new love and hopes and dreams.
Miles and his friends have some pretty messy moments, and all of the mess reads as teens just trying to navigate life. These moments (which exist alongside sweet, fun, supportive, happy ones) are rough and raw and at times frustrating to witness, but in a good way--it took me back to the the friendships and drama that were baked into my and my friends' teenage years.

I absolutely, wholeheartedly recommend this book. It is seriously one of the best books I've read in a long, long time.

Content warning for transphobia and some homophobia, as well as parents who aren't supportive enough

This book was absolutely amazing. The diversity, the feelings, everything.
The main character, Miles, was very relatable as a whole. What he went through in the book was very real and throughout the novel I really felt like I was in his shoes.
As Miles worked through finding himself he made mistakes. And these mistakes were very real and things that teenagers go through. These mistakes made him feel so real, the third act conflict that is usually in romance books was really one that made sense in this book. The mistakes that were made really made the book feel so real and I know for a fact that this book is going to speak to teenagers everywhere and teach them so much.
Thank you to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for an eARC copy of the book.

5 Stars

Always the Almost follows Miles, a trans pianist, as he makes two New Year Resolutions: win regionals and win back his ex, Shane. But when a new boy starts at his school, his plan slowly falls apart.

Always the Almost is a beautifully written story filled with queer joy driving home the theme of being true to who you are. While Always the Almost is a sweet and heartwarming story, it also manages to capture the hardships of belonging in a marginalized community.

Miles, our main character, was a loveable protagonist that many readers will be able to resonate with. Throughout the story, we see that he’s not perfect and makes mistakes but that’s what makes him more human. His own personal struggles in trying to figure out if he is the same person as he was before was done so well. While I’ve never experienced the struggles, I could feel for him. The ups and down Miles experiences along his journey is perfectly mirrored when he plays piano showing how music connects to our emotions.

First and Foremost, Always the Almost is Miles’s story and the journey he goes on as he tries to discover who he truly is. But there is a romance featured in this story between Miles and the new boy at school, Eric that blends seamlessly into the main theme of this story which is being who you truly are. While Miles is going on his own journey to find himself, Eric goes through his own as well questioning who he truly is. It’s truly beautiful to see how their stories parallel one another and shows how when we become so overwhelmed we can miss the struggles others are going through. Watching them slowly gain feelings for each other and overcoming the problems in their relationship together was so sweet and enjoyable to watch, making it all worth it in the end.

The last thing I want to touch on is the musical aspect of this story, which involve piano competitions. Having been a musician myself, this story did such an incredible job of capturing what it’s like to be one and why music is so essential in our lives. It also does a brilliant job of showing the audience how much pressure musicians are under to deliver perfect performances but how rather it should be about playing something full of life and passion. Music is a form of expression where people can share how they’re truly feeling, and Underhill captures this sentiment perfectly.

Always the Almost is a perfect for readers looking for a heartwarming story filled with queer joy, a lovable main character, and musical aspect that gives a glimpse into a person’s own personal journey.

3 stars

This was such a sweet book and soooo cute too! Eric was my absolute favourite character, I just loved everything about him and his family🥹🥹

This is my first YA book of the year and I enjoyed it! I loved the representation and the importance of respecting someone’s pronouns, it made me really happy to read🥹

And also, that cover??? Beautiful!!😍😍😍

Thank you to NetGalley and SMO for the earc in return for an honest review

What a beautiful book! I rarely read YA these days, but I'm glad I read this one. Miles was so fun and true to himself. I was captivated from the very first page. And I loved Edward's writing. He wrote all the characters with a reverence, you can really tell he loves them and he loves the story he's created.

I loved watching Miles and Eric's tender friendship bloom. Eric unabashedly liking Miles from the start and even pursuing him, in the sweet way that he did. And when Miles realized that Eric liked him... like really liked him for him... so sweet. They just fit together like two little puzzle pieces. But I do feel like despite there being a sweet romance in this novel, that's not what it's about. The novel is about finding yourself and accepting yourself. I especially appreciated how Edward wrote Shane, Eric's ex. He wasn't a bad gay. Wasn't painted out to be novel. He's just a cisgender dude, with a good heart, that wished he could still love Miles but can't despite trying. And their friendship, despite the tumultuous start of it, was sweet. Eric is just... very perfect. Perfect for Miles. And I hope they stay together forever. I root for them.

The side characters were fully fleshed out and I loved them. Especially Rachel, Paige, and Stefania. So many hugs to Stefania. Who saw greatness in Miles from the start and pushed him to be his best.

What didn't work for me was the drama towards the end. I get that it was necessary, it provided growth. But I honestly felt awful for Eric and thought Miles was an asshole. BUT the make up was satisfactory and it was fitting to the characters so I couldn't be too mad about it. After all, it is YA and miscommunications happen way more at that age than I probably recall (since I am old now).

Over all, maybe one of the best novels of 2023. Despite it only being 2023. I'll definitely be buying a physical copy for my bookshelf.

Always The Almost, where piano becomes something I actually consider revisiting because this book managed to make me care. Likable characters ambled through a well-built plot, and I, as a trans-masc myself, felt like the experience was portrayed very, very well.

The Plot:
Easily readable and relatable, Miles takes us through the highs and lows of competetive piano-playing while being part of the LGBTQIA+ community while balancing high school relationships on his shoulders and while living in the wrong body for his gender. I enjoyed the plot, however, I would've liked higher stakes. It served as nice escapism for some of my not-so-great days.

The Characters:
Ah, the characters. Certainly the highlight of Always The Almost, Miles and Eric, Paige and Rachel, Shane and Cameron all jumped off the page. Each one had understandable motives and relatable conflicts in their lives, and I appreciated the work put into each one of them.

The Prose/Pacing:
This is a typical YA read, with no special beauty or poetry to the prose, other than, of course, the natural beauty of being trans (I may be bias.) It's a quick read, easy to get through, and the pacing, though actually pretty forward, felt sometimes like it was dragging.

Final Thoughts/Rating
3.5/5 stars, rounding up to 4
3.5/5 recommenability (Great trans rep, cute relationships and characters, mediocre everything else)

Always the Almost is a book I think many people would enjoy. The coming-of-age and self discovery in this book for our main character Miles offers such a beautiful insight in to a trans teens struggle with being themselves in a world where they've spent so much time being someone else. Miles is struggling to find his place with his family, friends and peers but he also struggles with who he is and who he is aiming to become.

Always the Almost offers insight in such a gentle way that feels incredibly natural and real. It's a story that I felt like I was living with my own friends and not something over dramatized like what you see on TV.

While this book does rely on the miscommunication trope a little too much around the middle it doesn't distract from the amazing characters and bond you've built with them while reading. It's also completely understandable as these are teenagers in High School and miscommunications and misunderstandings are the bread and butter of a high school drama lol.

Overall this book is extremely enjoyable with a well paced plot!

Miles only made two New Years Resolutions this year: win back his ex (Shane), and finally beat his arch-nemesis at the state-wide piano competition. The first is proving difficult, since Shane broke up with Miles after he came out at trans. And now, Shane won't even acknowledge his presence--or answer his text messages. And it's distracting him from his piano.

However, when Miles meets the new kid in town, Erik, he feels an almost instant connection. After all, he's one of the first people to immediately ask Miles his pronouns when they meet. They start an easy friendship that evolves into something more. But Miles doesn't get what Erik sees in him. To land the boy and win his piano competition, Miles has to learn to finally feel like enough for himself.

Thanks to NetGalley and Wednesday Books for an advanced copy of Always the Almost by Edward Underhill to review! From the moment I saw the cover, I knew I had to read this book. Plus, who doesn't love a good queer romance for the Valentine's Day season?

From the beginning, I loved the voice in this. Miles has just recently come out as trans, and he's still trying to get used to being out. He has two best friends who are willing to go to bat for him in pretty much anything. Does their friendship get messy because of romance in the book? Yes. But all teenage relationships kind of get messy. It's just a fact of life.

Miles and Erik also have a great chemistry, even though Miles is trying to work through his own insecurities throughout the book. He doesn't feel like he's worthy of someone like Erik, and his process working through this feels realistic throughout the book. And being able to build confidence in his piano playing. I loved his relationship with his new piano teacher, who helps him use his own identity to make his piano playing better. Plus, she shows him that there's more to music than just winning competitions, and we love to see it.

There's some great character development in this book too, from Miles's friends to his parents and even Erik's sister. There's a whole great cast of characters, and it's helps in making you want to fly through this book.

All in all, I couldn't put this book down once I started it, and I already want more from Edward Underhill! Can't wait to see what he does next.