The biggest thank you to Wednesday Books and Netgalley for sending me an e-ARC of this book to read and review. Wow. I'm completely blown away. This book felt like a warm hug and I loved it so much. There were so many meaningful moments throughout the story about being who you are and not feeling right in your own skin. Miles, the main character is a trans queer high schooler and I adored him. I thought his perspective was so important and while I cannot relate his exact struggles, I feel like a lot of readers can see themselves in his journey. I loved all the other characters in this book too. Eric and Rachel specifically were my faves and I love that Rachel was Jewish even if it was only briefly mentioned. The tone felt so mature and even though there were some heavier topics, I thought the overall nature was light. The pianist narrative was so well done and I loved watching Miles grow and flourish not only in the competition aspect, but in his life in general. I truly cannot say enough good things and this definitely should hit your TBR!

A delightful debut from an author I can't wait to read more of. I loved the characters and the storylines so much.

What a gem of a book! ALWAYS THE ALMOST by Edward Underhill is a fantastic read. Miles is a compelling narrator who immediately engages a reader. We meet him at such a pivotal moment, early in his transition--and at a transitional moment in his piano playing competition. I was so invested in Miles and his friends--and especially his relationship with Eric--that I couldn't put down the book. Stephania, the new piano teacher for Miles, is also a standout character and, as a teacher, it's a joy to see how she teaches Miles and how her approach is so transformative for him.

This is a great book. I'll recommend it to all my students. In addition, I'll be using it as an example of how clothes help us build the bodies and/or identities we haven't fully developed in my queer fiction writing class.

First and foremost thank you to Net Galley, the author and publisher for my copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

A coming of age story about loving yourself, fighting for your dreams, and being true to yourself.

The authors note at the beginning of this book notes that not all stories are happy go lucky stories, and that this one may not be as well. The fact that this was gritty and not glossing over tough subjects was refreshing. Miles is in his final year of high school and all he wants is to win back his boyfriend and beat his arch nemesis in the piano competition. But when new boy Eric shows up everything changes.

This didn't feel like someone was writing about an experience that they hoped would be rainbows and butterflies but about an experience that is real--Especially for those coming out. That kind of representation in books is very important and necessary.

The author wove the teenagers experience perfectly with a hobby that doesn't always get the same love as sports: classical music. This addition made my heart sing as a piano kid. Their passion for piano and classical music showed that you don't have to be playing cool things to enjoy playing and wanting to be good. I think that Miles relationship with his piano teach played an important role in his discovery of who he was and is, and showing that in a cut throat world Miles had a place.

Eric and Miles relationship/friendship felt important to the plot in the way that Eric was just trying to be supportive of Miles regardless of who he is. I found myself crying and laughing with Miles and relating so much to this experience even as someone not walking the same path as Miles and that to me screams a successful novel. I think the title was super fitting because we all feel like we're almost in our own story.

This is a great LGBTQIA+ novel that shows that things can be hard when going through change but finding your people helps.

I was obsessed with the cover of this, but ultimately it didn't blow me away. A second round purchase for most libraries.

5✨

A very cute story!! I also love that takes place in my home state, everything written about it is VERY accurate😂

[arc review]
Thank you to NetGalley, St. Martin’s Press, and Wednesday Books for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review.
Always the Almost releases February 14, 2023

2.5

Always the Almost is a coming of age debut that highlights the experience of a newly transgender teenager, who was recently broken up with by their boyfriend, and is also competing in an annual tri-state piano competition.

I had a really hard time solidifying a rating for this book. I think this story is important for those that need it, and while there were elements I really liked (the piano recitals), there were also moments I didn’t quite enjoy from a writing and plot standpoint.

It took me a fair amount of time to really get into this story.
Despite what the synopsis says, I would caution you not to go into this expecting for the main character to win over their ex. Though there is a clear sense of denial from Miles, I would say that another character and love interest is more prevalent in being that anchor to really develop the main character and his feelings/overall understandings.

Characters I loved: Eric, Nina, and the piano teacher, Stefania.
Eric was such an understanding character and never pressured Miles. He gave him the space to be comfortable or uncomfortable in his own body, which is really tough to navigate to begin with in regards body dysphoria to maybe not always feeling masculine presenting enough.
<i>”I see you as everything you tell me you are or want to be.”</i>
Nina was so cute and joyful every time she made an appearance.
Stefania is one of those characters where you think they will be unlikeable and brash, but there was a clear method to her madness, as the saying goes, and I loved the development she brought to the musical aspect.

Now, what I couldn’t stand was the third act drama. And was there ever the drama. Not only was there the conflict between Miles/Eric/Shane, but his best friends Rachel and Paige also had their own conflict which broke up the entire friend group for a good chunk of the story. In hindsight, yeah, these things do happen when you’re a teenager and trying to figure out who you are, but to use cheating and have two similar issues running in parallel to each other? It just wasn’t my favourite.

As for the whole new years resolution of “winning back your ex” — this is a really tricky subject. I understand Miles’ feelings of basically ‘why don’t you want me, when we already had this connection and compatibility, I’m still the same person’ — but also, you have to think of it from Shane’s perspective too that he entered this relationship as a straight male, with a straight female, who then slowly transitioned to being male, which no longer aligned with his sexual preference.
And for one of the dialogues to say: “[…] we seem to be the only three queerdos in all of Grant East High. Well, us plus Shane. I hope.” — It makes me uncomfy, because I would hope that the three queer friends would not pressure anyone into figuring out or putting a clear label on their sexual identity before they were ready or comfortable. As well as even assuming anyone's identity without them telling you first based on their outward appearances or personality traits or what you “think” you know based on “vibes”, which seemed to happen within those first couple of chapters too — “She wore a suit to her bat mitzvah and only vaguely frustrated looks from the rabbi. Her dark hair is long and frizzy, but you still know immediately that she’s queer. It’s probably the plaid shirts and the boots.”
I had a hard time championing for Miles’ arc when Shane was always in the back pocket of his mind even when he was in a new relationship with Eric. It felt disingenuous and Miles never really acknowledged all of this between them, with his motives at times feeling very one-sided.

Plus some dialogue surrounding Eric: “I frown at him. Sure, he’s got an earring, but he’s taller than me, and his wrists are thicker, and he definitely shaves. He looks like a cis dude. But cis dudes don’t say their pronouns.”
The synopsis says that Eric is “proudly queer” but there’s open discussion where he still has days where he feels like he’s both or neither gender, where he isn’t straight nor gay but rather just “likes people”. Eric never openly gives himself a label, and this is fair. Though I think it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not just Miles who is navigating their identity, but also Eric who is at the same time processing previous trauma from his ex-relationship and not appearing “straight enough”.


Author content warnings: mentions of the MC deadname + misgendering, transphobia, racism, trauma from bullying, body dysphoria, mentions of previous sexual harassment
Additional cw: cheating and miscommunication
Rep: transgender and gay mc, (hints to) pansexual and/or nonbinary character, lesbian/queer side characters, poc love interest, down syndrome side character


“I like your name. It’s distance. I mean, literal miles. Like, plenty of distance for you to go. Paths to take you can’t see yet. It matches you. You can go as far as you want.”

“It’s the combination of technique and emotion that makes a great musician.”

Is it weird that I wish my mom had put me in piano lessons now? Because the descriptions in this book were lit! I loved all of the representation in this book, especially in that Miles's friends and family are so supportive of his transition. And I love a character not being retraumatized by being publicly deadnamed, outed, or assaulted just for the sake of a plot. Watching Miles and Eric fall in love with each other and themselves was adorable, I just want to give them so many hugs. This is such a heartwarming LGBT love song and everyone needs to read it.

*Thank you to Wednesday Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review*

A beautiful and important book. I loved following Miles's journey through his connection with his music, which ultimately led him to himself. The friendship and romantic dramas were authentic and I'm so so so happy to read a book that is about trans joy!

The story was alright I just didn’t connect with it, The only character I ended up slightly caring for was Eric. I know this is ya and teens will make mistakes blah blah blah but I still do not like cheating (which happens twice in two differently relationships). Also, you can really tell a white queer wrote this cause of that one scene™ where the white mc realizes that the poc love interest faces racism on top of homophobia.

4.5/5 ⭐️

Always the Almost is, at its core, about trans joy. It’s about discovering who you are and embracing it despite who everyone expects you to be.

Miles was a very easy character to connect with. I understood him, his emotions, and his actions. While didn’t agree with all of his actions they were understandable and rounded out his character. I also really enjoyed the emphasis on Miles’ joy around his identity. With the way the world is right now against trans people it was nice to see Miles just living.

The romance between Miles and Eric was so cute! They didn’t necessarily have the best communication but they very clearly cared and respected each other.

This was a delightfully sweet and gorgeously written debut. Miles is messy, and it was nice to see how all of his relationships grow along with him as he comes into his own as a young trans pianist.

this book was so sweet and heartfelt! i enjoyed the romance and miles’ journey of self discovery mixed with piano! i was hoping for more substance but from what i understand the book was deliberately meant to be joyful and focusing on positives which works but wasn’t my cup of tea. it made me feel like something was missing (as romance books generally do) but if you are a lover of the ya rom-dram genre then this is the book for you!
thank you netgalley for the arc

3.5 Stars
I really enjoyed this story! Contemporary romances are not always my favourite, but this was more than just a romance. Personally, I really enjoyed Miles's journey of discovering his identity and accepting himself as he is. Having this happen with the backdrop of a piano competition made a story that's been told before feel fresh and unique.
I also particularly enjoyed that the characters were messy. They're teenagers, and they're all discovering who they are, so it's normal that they make mistakes. It made the story feel that much more real, and the happily-ever-after definitely felt earned.
The only thing I liked less about the book is that it included two instances of cheating, which I found... unnecessary? I feel like the conflict could have come from somewhere else, for at least one (but probably both) of the couples. I was rooting for these couples and then when this happened, it left me feeling like I didn't want to root for them anymore, which somewhat dulled the relationships part of the ending.
Despite this, the message this book has about self-identity is beautiful, and is delivered in a beautiful way, so I would highly recommend it!

Thank you to NetGalley for early access to this book! This book was just what I needed. I throughly enjoyed getting to know the characters and Miles’s journey in letting him be simply himself. The aspects of the story involving piano and music just made my heart very happy and I genuinely can’t wait to see what this author will release in the future!

I enjoyed this! My favorite aspect was the relationships - I was invested in Miles's relationship with just about everyone, which is unusual for me, especially in contemporary books. I appreciated how there was so much focus on mending the relationships and how it worked! I especially liked the resolution of his relationship with Shane. I cared about Miles's relationship with both Paige and Rachel, as well as Paige and Rachel's relationship, and Miles's friends-but-also-the-competition dynamic with Jenny and the other competitors. Miles and Eric's relationship seemed natural and the drama that pushed them apart felt reasonable and their reactions also felt reasonable. I liked the focus on Miles's changing relationships with his parents and felt the focus on those relationships were well-balanced with the others, which I don't find often happens when parental dynamics with their teenagers are supposedly important in YA novels (at least to my tastes). Stefania and her relationship with Miles was probably my favorite and how she pushed Miles to be better in the way he needed. The resolution of the piano competition and Cameron were satisfying as well.

Miles is a sixteen year old trans pianist who desperately wants to place first at an upcoming piano competition, and beat his biggest rival. Miles' two best friends Paige and Rachel are super supportive of him, and they also happen to be dating. Miles' parents are also very supportive, even though his feminist father has been distant since he started transitioning. There's also Shane; his ex-boyfriend who broke up with him after he came out, and Eric; the new boy in school who Miles maybe has a crush on. He also has a new piano teacher who he's uncertain of, which is a problem considering the upcoming competition. As the pieces of Miles' life slowly start falling into place, he realizes that the music he plays is more than just notes on a page.

Always the Almost by Edward Underhill is the book embodiment of pure joy. There is angst along the way, but it culminates beautifully into one of the happiest moments I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I've read a lot of books, and this is the first book I've read that made me cry from happiness. The paralell of Miles' musical journey, and his trans coming of age story is an excellent concept, and Underhill executed it wonderfully.

This book has the potential to bring a lot of readers joy. First and foremost, anyone who's part of the queer community and wants a genuinely feel good queer novel. Miles does face some transphobia, but it's met with support, and quickly dealt with. Musicians who have taken part in musical competitions, will appreciate the musical aspect which makes up a good chunk of the novel as a whole. And also, anyone who likes a good coming of age romcom.

I love that we are seeing more and more narratives with strong trans characters. Always the Almost is a beautiful trans coming of age story that had me emotionally invested from the beginning. One of the things I loved about this book is the use of piano playing as a metaphor for the main character gaining strength and finding his authentic self. I loved the piano teacher as a mentor. This is a book that will resonate with so many The romance is sweet and added to my enjoyment of the novel. I recommend this book to everyone looking for a high quality YA novel who wants to feel warm and fuzzy while reading.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press, Wednesday Books & NetGalley for allowing me to read and review this digital ARC

I LOVED this book! It is so swoony and sweet and so full of trans joy! The musical passages were beautifully written, and I gained so much more understanding of the trans experience.. Author Edward Underhill writes with a lovely generosity of spirit towards all of the characters including a well-rounded supporting cast!

3.5 stars

i am so conflicted. the book as a whole is quite beautiful. the writing was well done, and i enjoyed the general characters. i mean, a trans pianist and an artist? amazing. it was incredible to see the drive and passion that miles developed as we moved through the book. we knew beforehand that he was dedicated to his craft, but to see him become truly immersed in it is something completely different.

i also particularly enjoyed the trans representation. miles’s trans identity was well written. it truly encapsulated the struggles that trans people go through, especially in a social setting, whether that be online or in-person.

however, i had my issues with the book. do not read past this point because there will be spoilers.

i don’t condone cheating. as soon as miles kissed shane, even though i could kind of see his motives, i knew that i would never fully forgive him. cheating is such a prominent trope in gay media, and i’m sick of it. gays deserve to just have happy romances. don’t get me wrong, i know that it’s important to show that relationships are hard and have issues, but to always default to the cheating trope rubs me the wrong way. plus, for it to happen another time with another queer couple? that’s just not okay. there could have been more variety in dramas instead of overusing just the one.

eric and miles should not have ended up together in the end. they shouldn’t. especially not after everything eric went through with his ex. the whole situation was not handled well. miles, when explaining himself to eric, talked more about himself than about eric. he just simply did not understand, and he never apologized for that. i felt like eric was left to just accept what miles had done and move on from it. eric was the one to have to resolve the issues. plus, miles had been mad. after everything went down, miles has been mad at eric because eric didn’t give miles the time to explain himself. eric doesn’t owe you space for that. miles doesn’t get to be mad. not after everything. writing this out, i’m realizing how truly unokay i am with miles. the second half of the book messed up his character.

i wish the novel explored eric’s identity more. i understand that he’s supposed to be unlabeled and that people don’t need labels—i love that for him—but i just wish his gender wasn’t just mentioned once and done. there was so much potential for him, and i just felt like it was left unexplored.

the book, especially in the beginning, was cute and i had high hopes for it. i thought i was going to love this. but i can’t in good conscience say that i loved it. i liked it. it was good. but i just cannot get over what happened in the second half of the book.